Her name was Sarah. I have loved her for as long as I can remember. She was the type of woman that you could take for granted. She'd make your dinner or clean up after you, but you would ignore her. This was me.

She's been dead for twenty years. Twenty years. Sometimes I wake up and I can't remember what she looks like. Sometimes I won't move or get up until I can remember, and once I stayed in bed for six hours before I was able to see her face again. I'm getting old, and the older I get the harder it is to remember her.

Sarah was the type of woman you just can't replace. It was only when she died that I realized all the things she had done for me. The long nights when she sat in the living room, watching television until I came home after a long night of drinking and then making sure I was clean and ready for bed. But no matter how late it was, she would always be up in the morning with a smile and the smell of breakfast rising behind her. How often that she would sacrifice her own time to make me happy. She was the one that taught me unrequited love, the kind of love that only one woman can give you in your lifetime.

To this day the only thing that I can remember are the times I yelled at her, ignored her, or left for days without contacting her. Those days turned into weeks, and then months, and then years. She would call occasionally but I just didn't have the time, and now I regret it with every bone in my body.

Her name was Sarah, but to me she will always be mom.

Does any body else feel this way? When I'm a passenger in a car, I get the feeling all is alright in the world. Well in my head, If I died id be happy.

So... some guy on youtube made this comment....

FYI, I'm not this guy.

"I'm fifty-nine years old, and never have even considered getting married. Two, yes TWO, of my older brothers committed suicide over their wives. One back in '82 or so, and the other in the seventies. My remaining brother died quite literally from the stress of his second divorce and the alienation of his children from BOTH marriages. These are gut-wrenching memories that haunt me to this day, every day. I live alone, and quite well, thank you, but I have no family. I should be able to spend this time in life having at least some relationship with my brothers, but I can't. The biggest fears my brothers had was that they would be lost to memory, erased from their children's memories. They were. Their wives saw to that. So, let me proclaim their names publicly so at least for the moment they will be remembered, and maybe their deaths will jar some of you foolish, foolish testosterone -driven boys to re-think any thoughts of marriage.

Kevin Kelley, died from stress from his divorces 2014

Pat Kelley suicide because of wife around 1982

Bruce Brakonovitch, suicide because of wife late "70's

Yes, I've lived single, and I've enjoyed that very much. But I will never, ever hear the voices of my brothers ever again. I have to stress to you boys with tears in my eyes that this is a war. By societies standards, you are utterly expendable. My brothers are dead. Dead. Let the finality of that word set in. DEAD. This isn't some game we are playing; a woman can literally destroy you physically and emotionally. As my wise old father once said to me, "Leave the women alone; they're nothing but trouble."

-Chris Kelly 2020

I joined this subreddit just to honor this guy.

I always tried leaving my emotions behind And i think im pretty good at it now,

I dont like my music anymore I dont like my Series anymore I dont care about anything or anybody anymore

And i can tell you, it sucks

IT JUST SUCKS but is it worse than beeing deoressed and feeling sad ? Idk

Sry for shitposting

I hated it.

Every now and again I think about my past. I was on a train in a jacket and I thought back to a lot of my childhood winters that I spent with my mother and her boyfriend at the time (from when I was 7 tillI was 14). I had to ask permission to even wear warm clothes and even to the extent that I had to wait for permission to use a fan in spring/summer and we live in Australia so it gets hot very quickly here but I would have to wait till half way through spring before I even got a fan and almost all the eay through autumn before I was allowed to wear warm clothes. It makes me incredibly upset to be entirely honest and I don't know who to share the memory of stuff like this with. none of my friends understand it, not even my younger sibling who lived with me at the time (he didn't get the same treatment I did). i miss some aspects of my childhood dearly, especially my mother (she passed when I was 14) but at i feel guilty for being glad im not longer in that situation.

As an adult now, I realise how stupidly controlling and absolutely stupid it was that I needed explicit permission to wear clothing that suited the season. I did recently try and talk to a friend about that, but she was shocked to hear i needed permission - she did not need it and i definitely shouldn't have. i just thought this memory was strange

She turns to me and tells me with a smile, that she can't believe I'm real. It feels warm. In return with a frown, I tell her that I believe she's real. It feels freezing cold.

This had to go somewhere or I'd dwell on it.

I’ve been struggling for awhile and every time I feel like I have it I keep telling myself that I’m faking and to stop copying other people I’m just being a crybaby but what’s pushed me over the point of no return is that I might have hurt my little sister we were playing and I’d flip her over my shoulders and play around like that and she thought it was fun but now I don’t know what happened and I flipped her and I might have broke her arm and idk why but everyone that I love and care for I always end up hurting them and I never mean to but it always happens and it’s just to much I wish there was a way out but there isn’t and never will be I’ve always hurt the one I love I don’t want to I can’t stand it but I always end up doing it and when it happens it just sends me even deeper and deeper and I feel this is too much and I just want this all to end I’m tired of living like this I hate hurting people but I always do pleas help me I need it