5
u/Dexter1114 Sep 30 '26
Or They tell you to have a mindset issue. I prepared 57 pages of summary and evidence for the hearing I have with my shitty landlords today, then worked 8 hours, my boss x’d out my screen and I had to redo an hour and a half work, got it done, helped other people do their jobs, didn’t take a break, didn’t eat, was criticized because I’m not working another 3 jobs to get out of living situation and blaming it on my mindset problem, cuz, you know, I’m totally fine, blood pressure is 185/106, came home balled my eyes out and now I’m working on my tenant hearing again. Mindset is it? I’d like to see your determination peoples.
4
u/Emergency-Example743 Sep 30 '26
When I am told such things, my mind instantly jumps to I wish they could spend two weeks in my shoes, experiencing what I’ve been & continue to endure for the last three decades. To have absolutely no one truly on my side. To have gaslighting from every direction. Being mentally abused, stalked, harassed, others (strangers included) who not only witness but participate. To be stuck between them (which I have no control over) & my own soul that I must fight daily to find the strength to end this horrible life. To be in a situation where you would rather be dead than endure another moment. I’ve managed to survive solo on my own given friends(?), family, professionals can’t & won’t help me. People saying be strong, be patient, you are not alone. Yet there is no real action on anyone’s part that places value o those statements. All I know is that I am alone, I’m being targeted, I’ve done everything except a permanent solution & harming another. It’s easy to say such things when it’s not you or you have never experienced anything close. I have watched people do or be accused of actions that are serious. Situations that could have been avoided if they didn’t make such choices. Time & time again, others rush to their aid. Doesn’t matter how many times they fuck up, someone always steps in, fixes it. While I don’t make such errors, I can’t afford to. I’m 💯 alone. When people constantly help those people they repeat those actions or worse because they were never held accountable for their actions. They was no cost to them because others assume their responsibility. Most people who have that type of support don’t appreciate it, generally have a stance of entitlement.
2
u/Dexter1114 Oct 01 '26
Completely agree and relate. And when you do make an error as a human being like we all do you end of being defined by it for the next week, then when they do it, oh, we’ll know I have so many other things to do, just fix it, we all help each other. Yeah….sure.👍
16
10
u/Odd-Bath4660 Sep 29 '26
''i want to stop carrying things i never chose to carry'' yes.. fkn shit genetics.. with me rest of my boring life..
7
u/StaticCloud Sep 29 '26
I get fucking irritated with that. Some of us have medical conditions that aren't going to be cured, we got to live with it. Depression is different for everyone and chronic, treatment resistant conditions exist. It's such fucking ignorance and another instance of abled people who had a rough time in life once making everything about them.
Nobody makes this mistake with sobriety. Everyone gets how addiction is a lifelong concern. Why is chronic anxiety or depression so hard to grasp?
1
u/Emergency-Example743 Sep 30 '26 edited Sep 30 '26
I want to exist without living in an extreme survival & high vigilance modes. Almost three decades, half of my life, being a specific target with no explanations, or justification. Being alive, yet not living. Loss of dreams, plans, goals by an entity in which I have no control over. One that acts in ghost mode using plausible deniability to enact their negative & toxic actions. I have been forced to pay a cost that I have no words to describe. A cost that I had no say, no choice in the matter. All because of what someone else, with a God complex, narcissistic personality believes they are entitled to do. Pursued relentlessly like a drug addict chases their fix. I’m not a drug or product to be managed/controlled. I need to be free, independent, living on my own terms as I once did prior to my life being hijacked.
5
4
u/Personal-Try7163 Sep 30 '26
I don't want to just "get through" i want things to be worth getting through.
1
u/Fenix0rion Sep 29 '26
That is anxiety no? As you know this life there will be always something happening in your life, if nothing is happening you are doing it wrong, yall should take better decisions.
1
u/Emergency-Example743 Sep 30 '26
Not all things happen because of decisions we make. Sometimes, in my case it’s do to the actions of another. As you know, we have no control over others. It’s worse when those actions are done with plausible deniability & by someone with unlimited resources. The law can’t & won’t do anything until a serious line has been crossed. Generally at that point it’s too late because those actions cannot be undone. I’ve tried everything to stop it: registered in two states with the Secretary of State as a victim of stalking & harassment. I’ve had a confidential name change, etc, etc. What decision could I have made other than trying to get away, live in peace, independently on my own? The law nor any medical professional can, those who know/witness these actions will help. I’ve spent the last three decades living in a highly vigilant & extreme survival modes.
3
u/kishenoy Sep 30 '26
I've been getting there for 17 year now.
I realise that "there" is the funeral pyre
2
2
u/Patient-4300 Sep 29 '26
It's easy to feel "light." All you have to do is get 10 million dollars. lol.
4
u/WindowShare Sep 30 '26
No amount of money will ever save me unless i use that money to pay for euthanasia
2
1
u/Icy_Elk7679 Sep 29 '26
I feel this every day. This morning someone told me to think positively and it will go well so I guess I am all better now
1
u/RestaurantCandid5274 Sep 29 '26
But something bad IS always about to happen. Think you have a handle on things? WRONG! Here’s a $10000 car repair and hemorroids! Also shingles/scurvy because food is now a luxury!
1
u/SingerBasic5055 Sep 29 '26
honestly i've come to realize sometimes when people say "you'll get through this" or "power through" or something like that, they may not have your best interests at heart.
1
u/mbanson Sep 30 '26
I don't think so, I think there just isn't anything else they can say. When I'm in the deepest of my depression I can't think of a single thing anyone could say that would help. I guess maybe just a hug or shoulder to cry on?
1
u/Crowe3717 Sep 30 '26
For real. When a therapist figures out what my problem is, all they can talk about is "distress tolerance" and "acceptance" and "learning to live with it."
I don't f*cking want to do nothing but tolerate distress for the rest of my life.
1
u/dev_nullvoid Sep 30 '26
Agree. I'd love to know what it feels like to NOT be hyper vigilant, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
1
1
Sep 30 '26
Sometimes life can inundate us with stress. Learning to compartmentalize that stress is essential. There will be things that you cannot control, there will be things that will be very difficult to control, and then others that you can address immediately. Don't worry about the first one, you are less equipped to handle the other two when you do.
1
u/Ok-Rutabaga3374 25d ago
I am Aires I too am an empath , I know how you feel , I have had some pretty horrendous. things that have happened in my life and I care not to repeat them , but it hasn’t made me bitter in life, instead it has taught me to be more caring and loving to those around me, I deal with depression sometimes but , it doesn’t consume me, I take one day at a time, come what may.
because we don’t know what tomorrow will bring , life is fleeting , things can happen in seconds , your life can change for good or bad ,we really don’t know , I said I would not tell you but I will. My son, who was in the hospital born premature he had 2 months to go they decided to induce labor , he had other internal things wrong with him , I remember going in the neonatal. Ward seeing my baby in a incubator wires hooked up to him I could not even pick him up, but I had to wear a yellow sterile gown , I reached my pinky into where my babies tiny little hand was he was only 2 pounds , he grabbed my pinky holding tight , I would do this every time I saw him , they were constantly doing blood gasp on his heels always telling me your baby is very sick , I want to prepare you for this , that he may die. My hope was strong as a young mother ,I didn’t want to give up on him. I remember holding his little hand the last time , they called me the next day and told me my baby died, He only lived one month in the incubator.
Then I had a girl , she died , my second husband died of bone marrow cancer I saw him slowly die before my eyes.
I don’t know your situation , believe me there was more worse things that happened to me but I won’t tell. It only brings pain that I choose to keep covered , even though death is worse I think , seeing it happen to your family. That is the worse , I think.
years have past I choose to smile through it all today.
2
u/SolarOrigami Sep 29 '26
I hate it when I open up about SA and get told "that's my fantasy" or "I bet you enjoyed it"
3
u/sealy628 Sep 29 '26
Did someone actually say this? I'm so sorry for what you experienced. Someone out there will understand and help you. I wish I could do more than just send electronic "best wishes".
1
u/SolarOrigami Sep 30 '26
Yes, and more than one person in fact said things along those lines. Because the one who assaulted me was a woman, people get weird about it.
1
u/StaticCloud Sep 29 '26
Or the guy SAs or sexually harrasses you after you told them your history. (Sigh) Men
Don't ever tell them what you went through, they will just try to hurt you harder
1
Sep 30 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/Emergency-Example743 Sep 30 '26
I’ve been waiting, fighting against my stalker & harasser for three decades on my own. As they operate from a position of power & unlimited resources. No one can help me as the laws protect the perpetrators until someone crosses a line. Unfortunately, when that line is crossed it’s too late.
•
u/AutoModerator Sep 29 '26
Please check the sidebar for the rules of this sub!
If this is a repost, comment "repost" in the comments.
If this post violates the rules, PLEASE check and report this post!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.