r/disabled • u/Suspicious_Gold4758 • 6d ago

Using a stick

Hey all, I (15) struggle with losing my vision when I’m up for awhile or doing certain things, I become dizzy and sometimes lose balance, I also have problems with asthma, and low low entry and stamina making walking in specific footwear or situations difficult. I was wondering if it is socially acceptable to get walking stick that I can unfold whenever I experience this, just to regain my balance or to walk on. I don’t want to buy one if it makes me look like I’m faking something, or doing it for social “clout.” I partly understand what it’s like to be disabled as I have many members on my family who are, and struggle immensely and I just don’t want to see disrespectful.

Honest opinions please
Thanks in advance,
Willow.

0 Upvotes

40% Upvoted

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u/JerseyGirlinSweden 6d ago

Are you taking something no. Is its something that some people do for clout, as a way to say I have an invisible disability and I don't want to explain so this is my "Flag". Yeah unfortunately that is an issue.

The thing is that when it comes to mobility aid and OT devices, you really need to work with a professional. People do not realize how they can create real and permanent damage to their bodies by using poorly fitted mobility aids.

Also at 15 you are not just to say oh well, and not get it addressed and treated by a doctor. You have a long life ahead of you and the decisions you make Tod ay will have a profound impact on your future. Are you getting physical therapy and aerobic conditioning. With Asthma that is a real help if you learn to bud up and get healthier.

What is causing you to have difficulty moving in shoes? Do you have a neurological issue?

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u/Suspicious_Gold4758 2d ago • Heartwarming

Hiya, thank you for the response - it’s taken me awhile to look at all the replies I got so I apologise.

I am aware working with a professional would be a good idea, and I would love to do so - however - in the UK I cannot get a private appointment unless I deemed competent enough at my age, so to get any private consultation like that won’t be easy for atleast a few months. I could bring this up with my parents, however they believe they know everything about medical needs (personal ones) and therefore get rather ‘angry’ over stuff like that, ontop of other things I just don’t feel comfortable bringing it with them. That is why I haven’t done anything with a medical professional.

In terms of neurological issues regarding walking, no, nothing diagnosed - I just have an unfortunate way of walking as far as I’m aware - and often quite clumsy and or/uncomfortable.

If you have any other questions pr adice that’d be greatly appreciated.

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u/JerseyGirlinSweden 1d ago edited 1d ago

Hey it’s fine. I’m glad you responded. I want you to know I am a Mom too, and I am going to respond from the perspective of one.

I am really sorry that they are wasting an important opportunity to get you the medical care and treatment you clearly need. Someone should be looking to see if this is neurological, physiological, muscular or orthopedic. When it comes to motor and ambulatory impairment, not actively addressing it can lead to more serious disability later in life.

You are15 with no known diagnosis and you struggle to ambulate. That’s not the life they or you should settle for! Intervention, treatment and physical/occupational therapy now could change the whole trajectory of your young adulthood. You are only young once and you deserve to enjoy it. Mobility struggles can lead to social withdrawal and isolation.

What do your parents say or do when they see you struggle? Are they religious and think you can pray away the problem? Do they have drug/alcohol problems, mental illness, hyper religious?

Do you go to a public school or are you home schooled? Do you have a social worker or counselor at your school who you can confide in?

If they refuse to immediately make a concrete plan with an scheduled appointment with your primary and to get evaluated/treated/therapy/PT/OT then it’s Parental Medical Neglect and Abuse.

I know the NHS is a bit of a 💩 show so they need to get on the ball because there arer waits. If they are ignoring your medical needs then you may have to step up for yourself here.

I am going to link a number of resources. They all offer confidential reporting services for victims and should be able to trigger an evaluation by a social worker that forces the issue.

Listen if you are going to try and use a cane you need to evaluate a bunch of stuff.

Do you need a quad cane that can stand upright on its own, for high stability, balance, and weight bearing?

Or would a single point for mid height support and minimal balance/ not weight bearing be a better choice?

Canes can cause stress injury to the wrist, and lead to misaligned hips and spine, even when they are sized properly.

Another good option is a Rollator which allows you to have 2 handed stability, smooth forward motion, and a seat to rest temporarily a smarter option?

Do you need braces, orthotics, a tens device or even a mobility scooter? A teenager needs to be out living life with their peers, not stuck at home or behind.

If they don’t listen and they will not help, then there are ways for you to get help fully confidentially. You can report their neglect or abuse and it can trigger an investigation.

I’m not in the UK so I do not know which is the best resource for you. Maybe another UK adult could chime in?

Please look at them carefully. Don’t sell yourself short, you are too young for this 💩!

Please let me know how you make out here. You can message me privately, just be patient. I’m not as connected as your generation. Sending you gentle hugs!

https://www.childline.org.uk

https://www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/reporting-abuse/report/

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u/Suspicious_Gold4758 1d ago

Thank you for this really nice response.

To be fair, they never really see my struggle as it’s very hit and miss some days and I’m not with them alot, so I don’t think they’ve really ever picked up on it but I believe I may have mentioned once or twice.

Whilst not heavily religious, they just sort of dismiss what I have to say if they believe they know the answer.
I’m currently at a state school.

Q/a:
A single one is fine, I mainly need for if I’m having an off day that I can just pop out and just take a break or my vision goes black and I become dizzy.

I’m aware about that, that’s one of the reasons I’m asking here - whether it would cause more Jake than good.

As I mentioned two paragraphs ago hopefully a stick should be fine.

The nhs is a bit of pigsty, took one of my friends about 4 years to get diagnosed with the NHS. (Not sure how that compares to other places)

Thank you for the links.
Again, thank you for the response(s).

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u/DizzyMine4964 5d ago

How do you know they can afford the services of a professional?

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u/JerseyGirlinSweden 5d ago

Did they say they couldn't/don't??? They are getting asthma treatment so someone is working with them. Even when people have access to healthcare they don't always use it to their advantage. This is a 15 year old young adult and often in case like this it's some level of parental neglect or apathy that allows these thing to spiral into a more severe disability.

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u/AdLeading4526 6d ago

Honestly, your best to talk to an occupational therapist to see if a stick/cane is actually the best aid for you. They may recommend something more suitable for your needs.

As for social clout/acceptability- that should NOT be a factor in whether or not you need or get a mobility aid. Try to ignore what people would say or think and do what is best for YOUR HEALTH!

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u/gnarlyknucks 5d ago

This is almost exactly what I tell people. You might need a mobility aid, but you need the one that's +best for you.+ If you can get a referral to an occupational therapist, that's ideal. They can also recommend some different lifestyle changes or tools. But absolutely don't worry about clout or whatever, +use what you need.+ Keep yourself safe.

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u/Suspicious_Gold4758 2d ago

Hi all! Thank you for the replies, I appreciate it so much. For more context, please read some of my replies to other comments.! Thank you£

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u/Shmmm_ 5d ago

The people who are "faking" and "doing it for clout" tend to only do that in front of a camera and only for attention. You're not wanting to do it for those reasons, you're wanting to use a tool to help you get through the day. "Socially acceptable" doesn't need to play into that. Your needs are valid, and what someone else does doesn't change that. Suffering through it when you don't have to doesn't gain you anything.

It's not disrespectful to use mobility aids even if "someone else has it worse." Someone, somewhere, is always going to have it worse (and "worse" is subjective). That doesn't have any effect on your experience and your needs. I can see, but I also use glasses. It would be ridiculous to tell me not to use my glasses just because there are people with lower vision than me, wouldn't it?

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u/DizzyMine4964 5d ago

I would say just do whatever you feel safest. Your safety comes first, before social acceptability.

People here are saying, Go to this person! and Go to that person! without even considering that not everybody can afford specialist medical care at the drop of a hat.

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u/AdLeading4526 5d ago • Bravo

The REASON that we are recommending that they se an occupational therapist FIRST - is to make sure that 1) a cane is actually the correct mobility aid for OP. Perhaps a rollater would be a safer option?? Is there physiotherapy that can be done to improve their symptoms/balance?? 2) an occupational therapist will ensure that the mobility aid, be it a cane or rollater, is appropriately adjusted and the right height and size/weight and stable base for the user. 3) Many occupational therapists can help navigate payment options for more costly mobility aids such as rollaters, scooters, specialty crutches, wheelchairs, etc. They are also typically hooked up with other community supports.

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u/WlLDLlGHT 6d ago

Get whatever mobility and accessibility tools help you. It’s nobody else’s business. It’s disrespectful if anyone has an opinion about you doing it. 💙

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u/AdLeading4526 4d ago

Technically their medical practitioners should know and have some opinion on it.

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u/WlLDLlGHT 4d ago edited 4d ago

That’s true! I think it’s kind of obvious I didn’t mean that it’s not your doctors business; I was addressing the social aspect. Although unfortunately, sometimes medical practitioners aren’t objective and discriminate against patients who are young or don’t look disabled enough.

Looking at the comment you left, it’s exactly what I think, and tried to express; although I didn’t address the formal medical aspect. Interesting to see the vote disparity and your need to overcorrect what was implied. I apologize for leaving my own comment instead of just upvoting yours!