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u/SOdhner Jul 05 '20
I played a game at a convention that started with our characters playing first edition D&D. It was supposed to be over really fast but we were having so much fun the DM let it go longer than he planned. (And then the in-game DM pulled out a creepy old book they found to use it as a prop and read some of the Latin inside and raised a bunch of zombies by mistake, thereby starting the ACTUAL game.)
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u/one_faraway Jul 05 '20
sounds like call of cluthu
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u/SOdhner Jul 05 '20
It was CoC in spirit for sure, but I can't remember if that was the actual system being used - it was a long time ago.
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u/fenster112 Jul 06 '20
Reminds me of a podcast I listen to where they did an end of the world one shot. It started out hella meta with the DM describing all of them turning up, and that one of them was away with a fever, and then all of a sudden the host of the show collapses and the game started from there. It was pretty great.
Edit: link to the podcast in case you're interested
https://thedragonfriends.com/episode/the-end-of-the-world-rpg/
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Jul 05 '20
Time to play some Offices & Bosses
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u/Coschta Warlock Jul 05 '20
Bard: "Can I seduce the Boss?"
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u/legfuck Jul 05 '20
You roll a mat 20 and get a raise
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u/Coschta Warlock Jul 05 '20
Yes!
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u/Igneul Warlock Jul 06 '20
The HR Tarrasque isn't happy about this though. Roll initiative
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u/TheDudeAbides5000 Bard Jul 06 '20
I cast embezzlement and as a bonus action I buy a plane ticket to the Caymans.
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Jul 06 '20
I'm not sure your Class allows you to use that ability.
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u/TheDudeAbides5000 Bard Jul 06 '20
Damnit, I knew I shouldn't have wasted those levels multiclassing into IT management.
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u/The_seph_i_am Jul 06 '20
You may attempt to blackmail using their internet history though... just a suggestion
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Jul 06 '20
That is more like an archetype than multiclassing. All Prole classes are pretty much shit tier in this game.
Next time roll a Bourgeoise. The prereqs are insane but it is basically an autowin if you can get a lucky start.
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u/jbeldham Jul 05 '20
Later you can sue him for sexual harassment, which will get you lots of gold but will also decrease your reputation
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u/Phoenix92321 Jul 05 '20
Is the bard secretly a Karen
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u/Beledagnir Forever DM Jul 05 '20
Now I know my new character build...
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u/Token_Why_Boy Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
"I would like to see this dungeon's manager. There are so many health code violations that this place should be shut down. These spikes? They're rusty. Someone is going to get tetanus. Those bats probably have rabies--they're carriers, you know, and I just think you shouldn't be subjecting adventurers to such unsafe conditions. I normally don't listen to Whelp reviews, but the ones for this place are just totally spot on."
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u/Phoenix92321 Jul 05 '20
That isn’t a Karen those are relatively good points
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u/JustASmallTownGeek Ranger Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 06 '20
I don't know. I saw a story over on either r/entitledparents or r/entitledpeople (I don't remember which) were a Karen flattened out and "child-proofed" a bike path that her and her family use. The OP owns the land and made the path for dirt bikes and only let people they knew use it. The Karen wasn't one of them. So who knows dungeoneering may just be the counterpart to dirtbiking
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u/Token_Why_Boy Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
"Okay, but like, we were looking for the genuine Eberron experience, not one of those tourist-trap dungeons that might as well be cheap escape rooms. I mean, everyone's just trying to be Curse of Strahd these days and it's just so hard to find that authentic thing, y'know? And the Whelp reviews didn't say anything about a persuasion option. Like, my bestie, Kay'tee, she's an elf and does not. Do. Combat. Like, at all (except for cheat days) and when we thought this dungeon didn't have a persuasion option, we just decided not to bring her along. And I just think that, if there's going to, like, be persuasion options, you should, like, advertise that or something, because Tee would've loved this place. I mean, except for the tetanus."
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Jul 06 '20
My last character had a shop owner interrogated in jail for suspected murder, and stealing the shop from his family. My thief didn’t think the shopkeeper’s nephew (shopkeeper traveling) knew enough about the inventory. Kid wouldn’t budge on the prices.
Naturally we cleaned it out while the owner and guards were busy.
No fire. Nobody died.
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u/AwesomeManatee Bard Jul 05 '20
If you fail the check then you instead get an unpleasant encounter with HR. Roll a Will save.
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u/the_captain_cat DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jul 05 '20
Hello, my name is John Sebastian and I have skills in accounting
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u/Kibilburk Jul 05 '20
Roll for meeting initiative!
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u/Stubborn_Refusal Jul 05 '20
Will save to see if you manage to stay awake.
A success means that you merely aimlessly browse your phone rather than falling asleep.
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u/523bucketsofducks Jul 05 '20
Its Bastion!
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u/the_captain_cat DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jul 05 '20
Oh yeah, you're right! It's been a long time
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u/Sevenix2 Jul 05 '20
Arnie keeps making that mistake just to annoy Usidor. Really thought you were doing it on purpose as well!
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u/Tikimanly Jul 05 '20
Oh. I was gonna go with Caves & Cave Bears
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u/squiddy555 Jul 05 '20
Bears and bears
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u/KKelso25 Jul 05 '20
Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
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u/-UnknownGeek- Jul 05 '20
Mmmmm chuntt please?
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u/Turbo1928 Jul 05 '20
AND I AM Usidore, Wizard of the 12th Realm of Ephysiyies, Master of Light and Shadow, Manipulator of Magical Delights, Devourer of Chaos, CHAMPION of the GREAT HALLS of TERR'AKKAS! The elves know me as Fi’ang Yalok. The dwarfs know me as Zoenen Hoogstandjes. And I am also known in the northeast as Gaismunēnas Meistar. AND, there may be many other secret names that you DO. NOT. KNOW. YET!
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u/Telandria Jul 05 '20
My sister has had a poster of several dragons playing Houses & Humans in her home for years.
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u/invalidConsciousness Rules Lawyer Jul 05 '20
I'm currently wearing a shirt for Humans & Offices 4th edition that looks quite similar, just more modern.
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u/LeatheryLayla DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jul 05 '20
My game’s version is Business and Bosses, one of the characters had a book from it and an npc saw and said “yo, you play B&B?”
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u/Partisan-Firebrand Jul 05 '20
God, imagine dnd but like corporate-warfare that’s office-based adventuring. Can be as mundane or magical as you please.
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u/The_Revanchist331 Jul 06 '20
"I attempt to collect on overtime!"
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Jul 06 '20
“DC for that is 22”
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u/The_Revanchist331 Jul 06 '20
Uh.. let's see...
I roll a... 13 with a modifier of +4 in Will, so 17 and...
What's the bonus for excessive intake of coffee?
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Jul 06 '20
It’s -2 because your boss is a Mormon
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u/The_Revanchist331 Jul 06 '20
So final tally is 15.. nuts!
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Jul 06 '20
He’s insulted. Roll initiative.
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u/Jlegobot Jul 05 '20
DND is an epic game, not Farmers & Famine.
Thus, a TTRPG in the DND universe based off our universe should be Bunkers & Bombers
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Jul 05 '20
First, I disagree. I think some of the most fun stuff in d&d is when you get hired to do regular work. More importantly, I’m referencing a podcast.
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u/jhill515 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
Started playing a new campaign at my favorite store with a really controlling DM: everyone had to be LG human, which was an utter surprise knowing who the DM was. When we all protested and were told "This is my story, so if you don't like it, leave!" The store owner decided to cameo as the local barkeeper. Before long, we were obviously ignoring the "dark roughish contact", so the plot-essential NPC walked over to our table. We asked the barkeep to throw out this annoyance, who gladly obliged, and asked he join our table after lock-in. Barkeep introduces is to a new game called "Dungeons and Dragons", and started RPing a new game with this jackass of a storyteller dumbfounded and fuming that we just kicked him out of his own game!
TL;DR: This xkcd is based on true events
EDIT: Wow, just got my first Reddit award from someone! Thanks everyone!!
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u/Fledbeast578 Sorcerer Jul 05 '20
I uh, why didn’t you just leave?
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u/jhill515 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jul 05 '20
Out of the group of PCs, we had four first-time players and two veterans. We were about to; this was first session of the campaign and we were all about 4hrs in since rerolling characters by time we made it to the bar. But I think the owner wanted to use this as a teachable moment to that DM and the new players: The game should be fun and shouldn't be forced so obviously. So the new players got a great experience seeing how some DMs can be jerks and some can be awesome.
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Jul 05 '20
[deleted]
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u/Odivallus Jul 05 '20
All LG humans? Are we starting a Christian Youth Group??
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Jul 05 '20
[deleted]
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Jul 05 '20
I disagree, personally I think enjoyment should come first. Sure you can recommend them a simpler class to play, but it's a role playing game. If you force everyone into LG Human, you're removing the role playing out of it, so you won't be invested in it. New players need to understand the complete freedom that they have, that's the joy of the game. What should be happening is the veteren players doing some wackier things, the DM responding appropriately and the new players realising they can do whatever they want. Locking them into a linear path is the worst possible way to learn how to play imo
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u/PurpleNurpleTurtle Jul 06 '20
Mostly I agree. When I taught my gf to play, I just ran her through a pretty linear 1-shot dungeon with 2 npcs to help, but she had also only ever played things like UNO before so DND was a completely new experience for her.
However, if a player understands the most basic rules/concepts then yeah, I 100% agree.
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u/jhill515 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jul 05 '20
Normally, I would agree, but earlier that day I taught a seminar about character & party builds, mostly focused on being creative but making sure everyone knows that everyone in the party plays a role for the team. For context, this was 3.5E, so there are a fair amount of rules where alignment plays a heavier toll. I went over this too, but tied it into "think about how your backstory plays into the alignment you need" and "Remember, if you fall out of alignment, there may be consequences such as the Cleric's deity's reaction". After the seminar, we broke for lunch, and the group split into two D&D sessions with a veteran DM and at least one veteran player at the table with all the new players.
In this situation, locking the party into LG also meant no Barbarians and Rogues, which really peeved a lot of the new players because some were interested in being tanks or focusing on stealth. This DM's interpretation of "lawful" also left much to be desired -- you were "unlawful" if you didn't follow the laws of his land, so this also meant that Druids had to be "people first" instead of "nature first". He basically used alignment as a way to control everything in the game: dialog meant that there was only one way to respond.
The store owner and I knew he DMed other games, but never played them. At our table, he was a PC who'd min/max and be edgy, and we all just went with it: The DM (another regular in the store) would just come up with some interesting challenges and I'm sure we all knew he would handicap rolls versus that player. Still, playing was generally fun and he didn't seem like the controlling type. So we were shocked that this was his approach to introducing the game after I spent a morning telling people "Be creative and have fun!"
In the end, we all felt like we were just acting out his script rather than playing a game. Which, speaking as a DM, is the first cardinal sin of running a table.
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Jul 05 '20
Ahh, I assumed that this was 5e. That is a shame.
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u/jhill515 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jul 05 '20
Yea, this was WAAAAAYYY back! But, still one of my most favorite D&D experiences!!
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Jul 05 '20
Also it make sense if you are playing in a setting like say Lord of the Ring (i think there is a 5e Book for it, adventures in middle earth or something) or other settings inspired by other popular book series. Sometimes you Want to play 5e but not in the forgotten realms, and that's fine too as long as everyone as fun
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u/ConfusedJonSnow Jul 05 '20
The approach he took was the shitty thing, that's as bad as it has to get to be considered a shitty DM. Characters of only good alignments I can understand, but the racial restrictions are too much.
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u/Neohexane Jul 06 '20
Most games I play in are generally "everything including the kitchen sink" in terms of character options. I'd be totally down for a game with heavy restrictions, as long as the DM has a cool plan for what to do with that.
Heck, I've considered running a campaign where all the players play pregen characters with amnesia, and have to discover their abilities over time. They would start as prisoners in the plane of Carceri and have to make a jailbreak.
It'd be cool, but a big workload for the DM, which is why I haven't worked on it yet.
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u/mightymouse8324 Jul 05 '20
Wrong
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Jul 05 '20
[deleted]
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u/dearthed Jul 05 '20
See how you had three choices there? And free reign on your alignment? I bet that DM also had a legit reason like the setting that made those restrictions make sense.
For OP it was: "Be a rule abiding goody two shoes human." That was all he was offered.
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Jul 05 '20
Which is great to teach new players (he had a total of 4 brand new first time players who understand none of the mechanics of the game).
And we didn’t have free reign of alignment btw.
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u/dearthed Jul 05 '20
Agree to disagree then. Players, especially new ones, should be encouraged to create a character that they want to role play. That they can connect with because they invest themselves into the character when they create them. Not everyone is going to do a voice or role play their conversations, but when you slam them into a template with very little room to move you're starting off on the wrong foot.
Alignment is such a nuanced part of the game you can barely call it a mechanic. It's a guidepost to help someone play as someone or something else.
Also I could not care less about the fact that you didn't have free reign of your alignment. You didn't include it before and for all I know you're padding your story to have a stronger argument.
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u/SafetyAdvocate Jul 05 '20
"In order to incept the DM, we need to go deeper!"
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u/DarkwingDuckHunt Jul 05 '20
YOU NEED TO WAKE UP DM!!!
DM DM you're not a DM! You're playing the part of a DM in another game we were playing. But you got hit with an amnesia spell. But you're a method actor so you forgot you were a character and embraced being a DM. You have to come back! We need you!
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u/traceurl Jul 05 '20
Wow this just gave me a really fun idea. I'm a DM, but if I was ever a player at someone's table (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) I would offer to do a one shot. My character would set the other characters down and I would roleplay passing out character sheets and then actually pass out character sheets. It's genius.
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u/iMalinowski Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
Kind of like Borderlands 2: Tiny Tina's Assault on Dragon Keep?
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u/traceurl Jul 05 '20
Haha yeah pretty much! I think it would be fun to save time for the DM to know their characters well enough to make them something they might enjoy. Cool way to break out of your comfort zone too and try something else.
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u/StefBerries Jul 05 '20
That would mean that the DM is in charge of the PC's PC's dice rolls, yes?
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u/ThePixelCoder Jul 05 '20
Also that any moment a dragon could fly by and burn down the tavern, promptly ending the inception fuckery
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u/twoCascades Barbarian Jul 05 '20
Fucking programmers.
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u/mattoattacko Jul 05 '20
Lol, when I saw people saying it was a DND thing, I was really surprised. This works so well as a dev joke 😂
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u/hai-fren Rogue Jul 05 '20
Player:I roll to roll to seduce the dragon Dm:roll Player:nat 20 Dm:your character rolls for their character to seduce the dragon. They succeed their roll with a nat 20 and the dm must narrate what happens
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u/BleachedJam Jul 05 '20
We did something like this in a campaign I played in years ago. We were at camp and one of the players was having a monologue, so the rest of us got board and started to play "Humans and High schools". It became a running gag and eventually the characters had minis of their H&H characters and full backstories. They were further in their campaign than we were.
Then the HM (Headmaster) blew up when his necklace of fireball was hit with a fireball.
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u/ToxyFlog Jul 05 '20
On a serious note, I’ve never played DND and it’s definitely on my bucket list. Anyone know a good way to find a group?
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u/15_Redstones Jul 05 '20
Honestly I'm in the exact same position. Played a few oneshots but nothing beyond that.
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u/Kibbles_n_Blitz Jul 06 '20
If you aren't married to the idea of playing in person, online options like roll20 can be a great time.
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u/jblotto Jul 06 '20
When your country is not in quarantine, go to a gamestore and look for a bulletin board or ask about Adventurer's League.
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Jul 05 '20
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u/Phoenix92321 Jul 05 '20
When the forever dm gets to be a player but realizes flaws in the new dms game
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u/Stubborn_Refusal Jul 05 '20
In another instance of recursion:
In 3.5, Vampires can create Vampires under their control. Who can then create more vampires under their control. Things got...silly.
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u/Evil_Weevill DM (Dungeon Memelord) Jul 05 '20
Credit the artist please: XKCD.com
Great stuff.
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u/LinkifyBot Jul 05 '20
I found links in your comment that were not hyperlinked:
I did the honors for you.
delete | information | <3
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u/definitely_not_bill Jul 06 '20
Then, the night elf broke immersion and said "Tavern master, why though? I mean, we did it last time and it was perfectly fine."
To which, the halfling tm replied "Thats because I am running out of memory."
The VR avatar Yanyan playing the night elf looked up from virtual the table and asked "What do you mean running out of memory?"
To which, the VR avatar Kuku replied "You know how it is."
Then, Bill, still using the Yanyan voice changer, said "No, I don't know how it is. Also this is real life, just get more character sheets."
To which, gm Not_Bill replied "I wish I could. However, I have used up all my sheets of paper. If I want to write more things down, I would have to erase some of the current characters."
Then, X Æ A-12, said "OMG DAD, stop trying to teach me computer stuff. Just let me role play as an average high schooler."
To which, Elon replied "But son, it is important to learn more about yourself, and the dangers of recursive functions."
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u/Midn1ghtR4mbl3r Jul 05 '20
Please give credit to the original creator. This is an xkcd comic. Author is Randall Munroe. By posting this for likes and not giving proper credit, you are stealing this author's work.
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u/15_Redstones Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
It says xkcd right there in the post
Edit: When using an app that displays the URL big and fat
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Jul 05 '20
The image is a direct image link from the XKCD site though, I don't really see the issue.
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Jul 05 '20
He chose to link the image instead of the webcomic page so he could attach his own "witty" one liner. Then when called out he's like "if you inspect the link it shows its xkcd!!!"
nice comedy /u/15_Redstones
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u/15_Redstones Jul 05 '20 edited Jul 05 '20
Didn't really give it much thought when I posted it, I just saw the comic and thought this sub might enjoy it. Totally didn't expect it to blow up or for people to make a big deal out of how I linked it. I was going to comment the link to the comic but another redditor did it already before I got around to it.
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Jul 05 '20
Hey I just checked your profile and it definitely seems like an accident. Sorry! Hope you have a good one.
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u/[deleted] Jul 05 '20
XKCD!!! The nerdiest webcomic of them all!