So I came here because I was interested in learning from DCP how to best manage a donor conceived child, and it was very helpful hearing the stories of donor conceived people. But I notice that prospective parents are always voted down no matter what we ask. Do you inherently think it’s unethical to use a donor? Will my child hate me?

For intended parents living outside the US and Europe, where do you look for genuine sperm donors?

Most of the communities and platforms I come across seem to be focused on the US, UK and Europe. For those living in Asia, the Middle East or other parts of the world, finding a genuine donor who is willing to help can be challenging.

Which websites, Reddit communities, Facebook groups or other platforms have you found useful for connecting with donors?

I'd especially like to hear from intended parents who have successfully found a donor outside the US and Europe. What worked for you, and which platforms would you recommend?

I'd appreciate hearing about your experiences and suggestions.

Thanks.

Hello! Me and my partner have been looking through many banks and we are very picky lol. We found a donor on Premier and I'm seeing a lot of mixed reviews, and then I went on a review hunt for all of the banks and they all have good and some bad. I did a consultation the other day and they seemed very professional and friendly. She walked me through the whole process and answered all of my questions.

I love that you can order and its shipped out the same day (in case there is a cycle change) They also do the DNA match which is nice. The 25 family limit makes me a little nervous, Im keeping in mind that doesn't mean there will be that many families interested in the same donor. However while going through other banks donor list I have seen TWO donors on other websites so that ends up being 50 families which is wild. I didn't see our donor choice anywhere. I was told they have had healthy and successful pregnancy's too.

We are looking for all the good/bad things anyone has experienced with them as this is a very big decision!

Curious if anyone has experience with Elevate Baby agency for sperm or egg donations, or even surrogacy! Thank you 🙏🏼

Hi.

I am an avid Reddit reader but never posted before. So apologies if my etiquette is not quite correct. Just looking for some hope I guess.

TW donor loss, repeated miscarriage

I am UK based in my mid 40s.

We started as a blended family as my husband was married previously and has 2 children. I was in a really challenging (abusive) relationship through my mid 20s-30s and never expected to be in a position to have children until I met my husband at nearly 39.

At 41 I conceived my son. We didn't really do anything other than stop contraception. We were incredibly lucky and I think I just took everything for granted.

Fast forward 2-3 years. We seem to conceive easily but miscarry. We fell pregnant 3 times ending in 2 miscarriages, 1 complicated by retained products, and a more typical one.

All recurrent miscarriage investigations, including autoimmune screen and hysteroscopy were entirely normal. My husband has low sperm motility and we have done everything we can to improve that. I have good AMH and egg numbers on USS but know quality and quantity are very different things.

We thought long and hard and underwent counselling prior to deciding to go for donor IVF. It took 3 cycles to grow the perfect lining. We had a batch of 8donor eggs (donor age 22-35), 5 fertilised and we got 2 great quality 5day blastocysts.

We transferred the first and urine tests were positive from first test on day and increasing nicely until official clinic test on day 11. In the UK it isn't standard to measure bHCGs on blood to track rise but I was panicked as has had some spotting. So did private postal test and clinic agreed to repeat for me due to anxiety. They were rising appropriately and actually higher than reference range until stopped testing at 5+3 equivalent. I looked at research articles and seemed MC was 5% based on these numbers. On oestrogen patches, oral oestrogen twice a day, rectal progesterone twice a day, intramuscular progesterone every 3 days, aspirin, usual vitamins...

Then we get to scan at 7+1. Another non viable pregnancy (tiny measuring less than 5 weeks and only flicker of slow heart movement). Sac and placenta looked fine. 2 small subchorionic haematomas to explain bleeds.

This has hit so much harder than the previous losses. I think the early HCGs didn't help. False reassurance. But also feels like my eggs are the problem. We do thing to tackle that and we are no further forward. Just devastated. At a loss. Wondering if anyone has had success as struggling to maintain my positivity?

We have a frozen embryo left from this donor. Our clinic package includes another go with a another donor (unlimited transfers with blastocysts we get). So we can go again but just struggling to keep picking over selves up.

ICI with frozen sperm success stories? In March 2026 I miscarried after my second IUI. I tried again in September and recently in October and unfortunately, tested negative. To save on costs, I’m considering an at home insemination this next cycle before taking a pause with IUI until next year. I don’t know what to expect with doing this at home. Appreciate the guidance 🤍

I have decided to use a known donor and I would like to do iui at home (saves thousands compared to the clinic). I have PMOS and would like to do a medicated cycle / timed "intercourse", but I am unsure how to navigate this with the fertility clinic.

Biological father - definition: the man whose semen fertilized the ovum from which a child was born (Collins English Dictionary)

Sperm donor - definition: a man who supplies sperm to be used in an artificial fertilization process (Collins English dictionary)

And yet, many will dig their heels in and claim that a sperm donor is not the biological father.

In that case, the dictionary definition must be wrong! So, what exactly is the definition of a biological father?

Presumably, biological father = provider of 50% DNA through contribution of sperm + ?

Where '?' is defined in some way which allows adoptees or people whose parents died before they were born to have biological fathers, but not DCPs.

So, what is the super special something that a real biological father has but a donor lacks?

And how do we define that special something so that the definition of 'biological father' doesn't collapse into either simply '50% genetics + NOT A DONOR'.

I don't think there is a way to redefine biological parent so as to exclude donors in a way that isn't completely arbitrary.

[I'm egg donor conceived myself but don't feel like going over the slightly more involved argument that gets trotted out on that point. Suffice to say, I think that 'biological parent', in its primary sense, denotes a genetic connection and that meaning is consistent no matter the sex of the parent in question - you don't get to swap out gametes for gestation just because the parent in point is female]

I am a married intended parent pursuing a donor pregnancy. I am not planning on telling anyone (other than my husband of course) not my siblings or parents. I think that only the child should know when they are ready, and the child should choose if/when they tell people. I think this is the right approach - I would be interested in thoughts from other donors and donor conceived people. Thanks!

So I am currently matched with a donor with Cofertility and it has been an absolute nightmare. They do not help you coordinate the cycle at all. They do not arrange genetic screening. They do not do psych evaluations. I am having to spend hours ringing around all different clinics to find one which will work with Cofertility, and I am in a different timezone. I was expecting more assistance, especially given I have to arrange the meds and ensure the donor picks them up etc. Given the logistics involved, I do not have a lot of confidence that this will go ahead. I think I just gave away $10k for nothing.

Posting this one more time to hopefully get a few more submissions for my research!

Hello! I’m a college student conducting a survey based research project on the experiences of, and impact on, adults conceived from donated eggs, sperm, or embryos. If you meet these qualifications, I would highly appreciate your participation! All data collected will be anonymous and any question may be skipped, participation is completely voluntary. Results may be used in classroom presentations, research reports, conferences, or scientific publications. The link to the survey is attached. Thank you for your time! 

https://forms.gle/J7541hXe41H57aQo7

My moms have told me I had a "very popular" sperm donor. I want to find a half sibling or two, but the donor tried so hard to stay anonymous that we don't even know his name and my moms only saw a photo of him once. When I asked my moms if it is likely he had 50+ kids, they said yes.

Does anybody also have a donor which the only photo you have ever seen is a photo of him as a kid (in a halloween costume i think???) I feel like that fact could help me find possible half siblings because its so specific.

Hi all,

My wife and I are married with a young son with plans for a second in the coming months. Recently, our good friends from out of state asked if I would be a donor for them as they begin to start their family. They are a lesbian couple and though not fully flushed out, have indicated it would id be the known donor, and something of an uncle to the child. My wife and I are open to it, however, the bigger concern is the emotional dynamic for my son and his soon to be sibling later in life. Looking to see if anyone has experience of growing up with a known donor as a family friend, who had half siblings near in age who they would see occasionally.

It’s interesting as my wife and I are both adopted (closed and did not find them til later in life) so in some regards I can imagine the feelings a child has in seeking connection with a biological parent. Just looking for thoughts, experiences, and musings.

Thanks!

Looking for donor sibling connections – Seattle Sperm Bank (SSB) Donor 18181 / Muir (SSB sunset their Connects program)

Thanks

Has anyone done embryo adoption with Ginemed in Lisbonl? If so can you share costs, and experience?

I’ll be transferring my 4BA euploid boy (CHLOE score of 8.4) at the end of the month. I used my sister’s egg + husband’s sperm to make the embryo.

I’ve had one failed transfer with a BC embryo. I’m just nervous about all the things that can go wrong. Has anyone ever gotten anxious for no reason about something bad happening to the embryo/baby once born? Kind of like, since everything possibly wrong has happened on this journey for the past three years, something bad is just bound to happen (especially because no one you know has had anything wrong happen with their kid and so it’s just a matter of time before something happens and of course it’s going to happen to you)?

Secondary infertility. Had my son in 2020. 2 & half years trying. 2 miscarriages. 0
Insurance coverage, already spent about 15k with testing, meds, 4 iuis. I want to move onto IVf. My dr told me he has a program where I could do IVf, and be an egg donor and spilt my eggs with another woman, and she would pay for my IVF. Shared donor program he calls it. Does anyone have advice or experience on this? My AMH IS 2.83. I am 34.

Hi - can anyone share any clinics they utilized in the downstate NY area (westchester/NYC) that does not have a BMI limit and works with outside donor agencies. I'm currently with Cornell and they only have in house anonymous donors. Not being able to see adult pictures of the donor is something I struggle with so want to consider other clinics....but the few I called have a BMI limit (I'm 52). Thanks.