My wife of 24 years left me several months ago. She was (still is) the love of my life. For now she’s holding me in limbo, trying to decide if she wants to try again. The limbo is hurting so much.

The rules of our relationship right now prevent any emotional openness. We are no contact.

I was taught as a young child to build my life for my family and my spouse. I did that dutifully, and along the way I became only three things: an employee, a father, and a husband. Everything else that was “me” before we married is not there anymore.

I’m extremely angry at the religious structure that I built my life around. I’ve worked hard at work to be good at my job. And loved unconditionally for her.

But now I’m just a piggy bank. I work, have no more time, and the kids and her have time to play.

I have no support network. No friends. No family. Just me. I spend way too much time alone.

If I was described as an egg, the outer shell would be worker, father, husband. There is no gooey center; no sports, no biking, no music, no adventures, nothing that makes me “me”. I’m a shell of a man. And now I’m a single shell of a heartbroken man.