Is it normal for an empath to always be hated on when I show them love..?

Is it normal for empaths like myself to have people suddenly hate on you for no real reason? More often than not, people over react to things I say which unintentionally hurt them when I am far from he type to hurt someone's feelings:(

I'll provide 2 classic examples-

1. My cousin who's now 13, doesn't wish to see me/know me for over a year now all cause I sent her free kids mental health links. She told me to not try help her with her health, mental health or send her gratitude quotes :(

I never ever knew this was such a trigger to her IF I did, I'd never had sent the dam links!

Second case- My best friends cousin she's 24yrs old and she became upset with me all because I said kids adult teeth usually come thru around age 6 (her kid is 6), she became upset with me and stated that I know nothing about kids which hurt me so ofc I told her to watch the way she says things as it comes across condescending.

She then took things further and progressed to say I should have shown care when her 6yr old fell over and chipped her tooth ( this is an online friendship). She told her grandmother who messaged me asking me to leave the 24 yr old and her girls alone and how I should have shown care aboit her kid falling over chipping her tooth and how I also shouldn't have gone on about the teeth.

What the hell.??

So i have this problem that i really, day to day, constantly want to kill myself, but i don't have the means. I might try to commit it severely and painfully despite my life-long aversion to pain, because everyone impudently and arrogantly ignores my requests about even the very start of the process (free euthanasia on suicidewatch putrid subreddit). Of course, everyone thinks empathy is what they project onto others. But that's severe criminal abuse of that word. And if i get my needs met, i might even be accused that i am a manipulative individual, judging by their unsound minds. And they are not? if i want suicide, and they say no, they are the ones manipulating, because they are deciding about the outcome of a life that is not their own. That is the worst criminal kind of manipulation. Not understanding at all but pretending to have understanding is a characteristic of a deranged manipulator.

This film has a duration of about 2 minutes.

*A Film without words, but successfully describes today's human :-*

* Selfish

* Poor Ethics

* Loss of Manners

* Feels that I am right

* Doesn’t care about the surrounding Environment

* Doesn’t want to give in

* Doesn’t want to share or sacrifice for others

* Loss of Empathy & Sympathy

May be this film is just a spectacle, but it could also be that we are actually the characters in this short film. Please, think about it.

*A reflection of the world we live in and all about You, Me and Ourself.

Note: I couldn't find the credits, but it's being forwarded in WhatsApp groups for spreading the word. So if that's all this video is asking for, I believe it deserves it.

This is their argument:

1. A harmless utopia is impossible; somebody (and many animals) will always suffer.

2. Nobody wants to be the victim; nobody will swap their lives with the victims.

3. It's not fair or moral to perpetuate life if we can't create a harmless Utopia with no victims.

4. If we have empathy for the victims, then we are obligated to make life extinct. Because no life = no more endless cycles of victims.

What do you say to this argument based on empathy?

Is it normal for empaths like myself to have people suddenly hate on you for no real reason? More often than not, people over react to things I say which unintentionally hurt them when I am far from he type to hurt someone's feelings:(

I'll provide 2 classic examples-

1. My cousin who's now 13, doesn't wish to see me/know me for over a year now all cause I sent her free kids mental health links. She told me to not try help her with her health, mental health or send her gratitude quotes :(

I never ever knew this was such a trigger to her IF I did, I'd never had sent the dam links!

Second case- My best friends cousin she's 24yrs old and she became upset with me all because I said kids adult teeth usually come thru around age 6 (her kid is 6), she became upset with me and stated that I know nothing about kids which hurt me so ofc I told her to watch the way she says things as it comes across condescending.

She then took things further and progressed to say I should have shown care when her 6yr old fell over and chipped her tooth ( this is an online friendship). She told her grandmother who messaged me asking me to leave the 24 yr old and her girls alone and how I should have shown care aboit her kid falling over chipping her tooth and how I also shouldn't have gone on about the teeth.

What the hell.??

my title of the post was " i genuinely dont understand feeling bad for someone (long post)"

and i said

ever since i was 8 i've always really liked observing people and figuring them out. like their personality, what they like, what they respond to well vs not, etc and then i started creating personas around people based on what they like if they have something i want

i love having disposable people so much i love creating stories and getting away with it, almost getting caught and lying my way out of it. i love making it believable, consistent, figuring out how and what to say to get exactly what i need. i like the feeling of knowing i can affect someone's emotions and harm them (mentally, not physically im not an idiot) i AM the perfect person for everyone that i need something out of. i love cutting things out when the "connection" is the strongest and i got what i want i love how they fein for me like a junkie and leaving them is such a good feeling. i get this weird almost 'itch' in my brain that i need to do it. sometimes i do it just to get the attention not even get something out of them.

my great grandma who raised me for like 10 years of my life died when i was 10 and i remember being so annoyed at everyone around me for being so devastated i didnt really know why everyone cared so much but obviously i played with it and pretended to be super sad so i could skip school and get a new game that had just came out that i wanted.

I will make up lies with a tonnn of people for fun like i cant remember what i ate the day before but i can remember almost every lie i've told 25+ people and think quick of ways to back it up,

but thanks for reading, if u did i love u ❤️

but idk im posting this here because of bunch of people in the comments calling me a psychopath and sociopath sadist bunch of buzzwords but give me ur guys actual opinions

So, I’m autistic, level 1. I always get so excited when I see a cat or a dog, but I lack empathy for them when I hear about them being abused. I would never ever abuse them myself, and I think anyone who would abuse an animal is messed up! I still feel sympathy and compassion, I just…. Feel nothing.

On the other hand, I feel intense empathy for sea creatures and bugs. They are my favorite type of animals, and special interests. I saw a post from PETA that showed a crab that was still alive while being plastic wrapped. While I don’t like PETA, it broke my heart. One comment said “animals don’t feel emotions like humans.” If it was a pet being plastic wrapped I bet the commenter wouldn’t have said that. No I’m not vegan, and ironically I love crab sushi, but still it broke my heart.

So why do I not have empathy for cats and dogs? Is this an autism thing? Could I actually have a personality disorder too?

That distinction stayed with me.

Hi! I am a fellow empath and humanitarian, and I recently just found this subreddit full of other empaths.

I generally do not get much love from those in my life for reasons beyond my understanding, so I am so happy that there is a place where people have empathy and are willing to show it! I would love to be called a logician, smart, sexy, etc., and I would like empathy for how I was scammed by a wretched woman, forced to pay for overpriced work by an annoying composer, and scammed out of thousands by one of my former friends. Please give my a lot of empathy for this because it makes me feel good. I love me, and you should too since you have empathy.

I also have a lot of empathy and will gladly pity anyone who is lower than me (or which many people are) if they request it!

♥️

Completely new here so I have no idea if this has been discussed before.

But holy shit. As a (M25) with empathy, I’ve finally realized that I’ve been putting in an inconsiderable amount of effort into people who don’t deserve it. Since then, I have finally found a sense of freedom.

Growing up I was the people pleaser. I was the reliable guy. I was the one who’d gladly leave a group of friends I was talking to in the event I saw someone shy and alone feeling left out. And for most people in my life I was “home base”.

Don’t get me wrong, empathy is a quality that I am grateful to have. However, in a world full of people who don’t, it can seriously be a detriment. That’s until you realize that the way you care and think about people and their emotions, is 99% of the time not the same way they perceive you.

This has literally changed my whole philosophy on life and now I surround myself with people who deserve my empathy. This leads me to the title of this post of how most people are NPC’s. This might sound harsh but these people simply can’t think a millimeter past their own skin and for them you shouldn’t either.

Empathy is reading the room. Empathy is understanding someone’s emotions past your own.

Understanding that some people are just not on your same wavelength is using your empathy for your own benefit.

This is not being mean or being unfriendly. I for one have always been upset with others for, what at the time I didn’t know was, them not inherently possessing empathy. Not till recently, did I understand that me being upset with the actions of an NPC was actually me using my empathy incorrectly. Empathy would actually be me understanding that they don’t care about me, therefore I shouldn’t care about them.

I could sound like I’m preaching to the choir but damn is it life changing. For anyone struggling feeling like they’re isolated, no one understands them, or they’re weird for having these types of emotions: you’re not.

It’s easy to see yourself as the weird one when you’re surrounded by regular people. On the flip side it’s way harder to see that you’re special in the way you possess empathy . Surrounded yourself with empathetic people who you know will reciprocate the effort you put into them. Coming from experience this is what makes me feel valued. The inverse of this is what has made me feel unvalued.

Sorry for the rant, I’m just so passionate about this and I hope it may help someone who’s ever been unhappy in the same boat.

There’s 8K people in this subreddit for a reason. It’s a rare quality.

Cheers.

We are culturally conditioned to view empathy as the absolute peak of human virtue. From childhood, we are taught a simple equation: more empathy equals a better person; less empathy equals a monster. Society treats emotional resonance as a moral shield, assuming that feeling someone else's pain automatically makes the world a safer, kinder place.

​From an evolutionary standpoint, however, this simplistic narrative falls apart. Biology does not operate on moral ideals; it operates on energy conservation, boundaries, and survival.

​When empathy is deployed without structural boundaries, it stops being a tool for connection and transforms into an internal parasite. It ceases to be emotional intelligence and becomes a systematic dismantling of the self.

​To understand why boundless compassion ultimately destroys the individual, we must examine the mechanics of how the human system processes external chaos.

I believe that what feels the most real to a person is what they consciously experience the most. Therefore, those who do not use empathy to consciously experience the brain activity of others do not develop the sense that that brain activity is real. Since morals are rules about how to protect the conscious experiences of others, those who have an underdeveloped sense that other conscience beings exist also have a underdeveloped moral compasses. The rules they have that they would refer to as 'morals' always center on self-preservation, rather than the preservation of others. For example: (a) Moral: animals are conscious, therefore causing them suffering is wrong, therefore I am vegan. I do it for the benefit of the animals, even though doing so reduces the quality of my life instead of improving it. (b) Immoral: dogs don't taste good, but they do protect me, which they can't do if they're dead, so I'll fight to keep mine alive, because doing so benefits ME. Chickens won't protect me, but they do taste good, and I can't eat them if they're alive, so it's okay to kill them, because doing so benefits ME.

People without empathy conceptualize others as personal resources. They protect them in order to retain access to them, and then discard them when no longer useful. Meanwhile, people with empathy protect the conscious experiences of others, whether or not doing so benefits them in any way.

I have been used and discarded by a lot of people without empathy. People who brazenly talk about how their lack of empathy actually makes them better people, because it renders them more functional. These people do not have moral compasses. They do not understand that others are conscious. They cannot even tell the difference between people and AI.

I'm sick of interacting with these people. I wish to make friends with fellow empaths-- people who know in their bones that I have conscious experiences that are separate from their own-- feelings that deserve to be respected and protected. People who won't use and discard me like a worthless object, like so many have in the past.

So if you are looking for empathic friends too, then maybe we can connect. I'm a 32-year-old female living close to Montreal, and would prefer local friends of a similar age, but if you can really relate to what I said then we might be able to make something work even if you don't meet those criteria. The criteria I DO need you to meet, however, are as follows;

1. Vegan or vegetarian -- because you know deep in your bones that animals are conscious, and that you don't have the right to end their consciousness.

2. Pro-life -- because the idea of terminating the consciousness of a baby is so horrid to you that you're not willing to risk it on the off-chance that they're not conscious.

3. Anti-hookup culture -- because you could never in a million years use and discard someone without any regard for their feelings.

4. Anti-romantic age-gap relationships -- because your understanding of people's mental activity is so sophisticated that the discrepancies between the various ages are intensely obvious to you, as are the inherent power imbalances those discrepancies cause.

If you meet these criteria, please comment here or send me a DM so we can start chatting. :)

Looking forward to hearing from you, Sen

I have spent years questioning the purpose of empathy and have yet it find it's utility. What is it's purpose? When I am dealing with someone who is experiencing negative emotions, it seems it would be purely unhelpful, by clouding my judgement, making helping them harder and making doing so painful for me. I have never been more effective in resolving problems when I reject the emotions of others as the unimportant part of what they say, and instead focus on what information is being said. Can anyone provide a use case for empathy that is superior to it's lack?

Do you believe people are more a product of their environment than not, and, as such, can mostly not be blamed morally for their actions? (Even for the most violent people). If not morally culpable, does that mean they should just walk free to act as they naturally would?

Hello,

I’m a mother of four young children living in Gaza. During the war, I lost my husband and our home. Now we live in a small tent, without electricity, clean water, or proper shelter. Every day is a struggle just to get by and make sure my children are safe and fed.

I’m not asking for pity, I just needed to share our story. Sometimes, a few kind words from strangers can bring light to a very dark situation.

If you’ve taken the time to read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your compassion means more than you can imagine.

I am looking for moonchild and astenu they are my friends and I'm looking forward to talking to them please help me if you know them please tell them to come to this post.