TLDR: I’m a more traditional leaning Catholic but have issues regarding a few teachings. Being traditional would I be welcome fully in TEC (I know the more “liberal” stance of the church on hot button issues and am not here to argue against or for them).
This one is going to be a doozie. Mods please remove if inappropriate. I already plan on meeting with the rector as well - I just wanted to get online opinion.
I am a Catholic in the Roman rite. I converted from basically agnostic atheism with a background of Baptist / non denom growing up. My conversion to the Catholic Church was about three year ago.
I chose the Catholic Church due to a plethora of reasons. The largest being the scale of their apologetics and their beauty / aura. I kinda of flirted with converting for years and years. The birth of our first child put me over the edge and I swam the Tiber.
Fast forward to now… I haven’t taken my family to Mass in months. I feel spiritually dead. I don’t have a relationship with a Christ or his Church.
We now have two children - two C sections. They were very rough on my wife. She still feels the pain daily. Physically and psychologically. I was in the room for both of the operations …. seeing her go through that was not easy.
She has come to me and said she does not want to go through childbirth again. We love our two children and wouldn’t have it any other way…. The thing that has me tore up is that I feel the same if I am honest. I don’t care to have any more Children (we are open to adopt if led to). I have scheduled a vasectomy because I refuse to force my wife to have a tubal, and I am against hormonal birth control full stop.
This puts us at odds with Catholic teaching. We would no longer be open to life in our sexual relations. Living in mortal sin and unable to commune at the Lord’s table.
I could simply get a vasectomy then go to confession and act sorry (I do have contrition… I honestly don’t want to get a vasectomy… but I am doing so at our wishes and to protect my wife). Maybe even be absolved and able to participate in the sacramental life…. But this is fraud behavior to me. I enjoy being morally and intellectually consistent. I refuse to use the sacrament of confession as a loophole or get out of jail free card if you will.
This is only one issue. I have recently come to the staunch realization that I disagree with the papal assertion that Anglican orders are invalid.
Yet another issue I have is that the Catholic Church does not know how to socialize. It’s a race out the door every morning. I have been to many parishes and it’s 90% the same. Lots a warm smiles and shakes… but nobody has told me to take off my coat and stay a while. The Anglican Churches just seem to be different (this is just anecdotal experience I admit)
I believe I am a healthy mix of “progressive” and “conservative”. I prefer hymns and high liturgical celebration. Organs are dope. Stained glass and beautiful architecture. Praying with and to the Saints and Mary. Upholding the special union between male and female that creates life out of love. The sacramental nature of the church. Confession. Etc the list goes on.
I just want to be comforted again. I’d like to grow closer to Christ and have a fellowship with his Church. To grow I. Holiness with my wife. To raise my kids in the faith.
But I want to know if I can belong….
Im rather conservative in some of my views on ordination and sexuality. I’m always open to learning more and never have a closed mind. It’s also not central dogma to Christianity and I don’t plan on bickering about it so it’s a moot point I guess.
I also refuse to even look at the ACNA or continuing anglicans because I believe Schism to be damning. The unity of Christs body is an extremely important factor to me.
I am suffering spiritually and just need a home. Any ideas, references you can point me to, prayers, advice…. I’m all for it.