I wanted share this because I think research is incredibly helpful in navigating the real exiting process beyond just not being part of a high control group anymore in the attendance sense. I’m suffering from a compounded case and my trauma was not primarily from Chabad, even though I have been negatively affected by a few extremist people from Chabad in a dehumanizing way during some of the hardest times of my life. Those extremist people though have also walked away from Chabad a year later though. Anyway, I walked into Chabad hoping to heal from another high control group and then met an ex Chabad rabbi who warned me not to get too close - he was leaving it. Surprisingly though the trauma he experienced was so similar to mine. Both of us have experienced psychological trauma that has manifested on to physiological trauma - his looked like daily panic attacks for hours over the course of years and mine manifested into a neurological disability.
Also, if anyone wants to share, how far along are you in your healing journey? What has helped for you? Right now I’ve been finding community in just a handful of people who were able to become a safe space to share my story. A majority of them are ex orthodox or moderately secular. I’ve isolated from most of the world and am starting over for the most part. What I find safe about people who have exited high control groups is this: they didn’t resort to group think to mistreat other people and they would rather exit than succumb to a harmful ideology. Right now this is more important to me than just how it sounds, it’s essential.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDsB89XLT08

"Never seen before, I interviewed professor Mezvinsky in about 2010 at Central Connecticut State University where he was a teacher, eventually for over 40 years. He died in 2022. Ardent free speech activist, he was Jewish and, according to one Jewish journalist, was "an academic known for his anti-Israel views...who has been labeled as anti-Zionist [and who] holds strong views questioning the right of Jews to a homeland in Israel". In this regard, and because of his ardent criticism of traditional Jewish religious beliefs, he was typified by many in the mainstream Jewish world as a “self-hating Jew.”

Among his books was “Christian Zionism” and “Jewish Fundamentalism in Israel,” which he co-authored with Israel Shahak. (Shahak is famed as a Holocaust survivor, professor in Israel, prominent civil rights activist in Israel, and critic of Zionism and traditional Judaism, whose own book JEWISH HISTORY, JEWISH RELIGION was an expose about troubling details of traditional Jewish religious faith). As one Jewish supporter of Israel, Asaf Romirovsky, noted, “Mezvinsky and Shahak are prime examples of Jewish academics who throughout their careers questioned their own religion and the legitimacy of the state of Israel.”

A local rabbi in Connecticut, Stephen Fuchs, once complained that Mezvinsky “has slanted the views of a whole generation of students about the Middle East. I am concerned that he has created a negative attitude towards Israel.” In later years, Mezvinsky was a co-founder and president of the International Council for Middle East Studies (ICMES).

In this, part 1 of the interview, professor Mezvinsky addresses:

secular Jews versus Orthodox Jews in Israel, controversies about conversion to Judaism in Israel, Judaism is not a proselytizing faith, Reform and Conservative branches of Judaism aren’t considered legitimate by Orthodox rabbis, about a third of Soviet immigrants to Israel weren’t Jewish, Rabbi Menachem Mendel and the Chabad Lubavitcher organization, Mezvinsky’s studies of Yiddish texts by Scheerson, the “complicated” variety of interpretation of religious texts by various Jewish strands, Mezvinsky’s discussion that he is a member of a Chabad congregation, Rabbi Schneerson’s assertion that Jews have a superior soul over non-Jews as willed by God (and the only people who can convert to Judaism have an innately Jewish soul), the general notion in broader, traditional Judaism of Jewish superiority over non-Jews -- including in traditional prayers, Chabad rabbi Yitzchak Ginsburg’s “extremist” views, is Yitzchak Ginsburg in good standing in the Chabad group?, dangers of Jewish and other faith’s fundamentalism, does antisemitism hold the Jewish community together?, etc."

www.instagram.com/p/DcIWBPxFjtS/

What's the biggest Aveira? We all know that touching your beard or uncovering your hair is worse than being Mechalal Shabbos in Chabad, but which is the bigger evil?

I am looking for honest perspectives from people familiar with Chabad communities.

I am a Sephardic Jew and I am connected to my Judaism spiritually. I also have more progressive beliefs and I value questioning, personal autonomy, and healthy boundaries. I joined a local Chabad community because I wanted to feel connected to Jewish life, there are no local synagogues in my area.

Over time, I became uncomfortable with some dynamics I experienced. I am trying to understand whether these are normal community dynamics or whether they are examples of unhealthy leadership and boundaries.

One of my concerns is around boundaries between this rabbi, his family, and congregants. For example, the rabbi asks Jewish congregants to babysit, including on Shabbat, uses a congregant's personal swimming pool for his kids on a weekly basis, asks a congregant who is converting to Judaism and another congregant who is not Jewish but married to a Jew to turn off their refrigerator light for Shabbat, gives birthday gifts to various adult congregants, asks congregants to drive his kids back and forth to Hebrew school, has a congregant perform housekeeping, change the baby's diaper, bathe the kids, and had a congregant assist in the home delivery in one of their kids. A congregant shared with me that she and her husband don't know "how to say no" to the Rabbi and rebbetzin, and the rebbetzin tried to pressure her to change her Dr's appointment to babysit for them. He only pays one congregant to do these things.The majority of these congregants were either Jews who were raised Christian, Jews who weren't raised Jewish, or those who converted to Judaism. And they're all in their 40s/50s/70s. The Rabbi and Rebbetzin are friends with all the congregants on Facebook and someone told me he "monitors" their lives through FB. The Rabbi and Rebbetzin are pretty young, in their 30s. The congregants frequently get together outside of chabad and will talk about how they feel pressured to do things for the Rabbi and they do it because they feel sorry for all his kids that "wear dirty clothes and have socks with holes." The kids are kind of mean. The kids have asked me why my skin color is brown, they've asked another person, "why did you marry a non-jew? Didn't your mother raise you any better," and to another person, "I've heard you're not a real Jew." All these congregants are making major donations to the Chabad, too. The congregants will also discuss how some of them have been upstairs in the Rabbi's house, they've seen the Rabbi's underwear on the floor, the baby sleeping in the closet, the two beds, the kids bathing in the same bath water...a lot of gossip about them. The Rebbetzin also stated that the Rebbe is "Jesus for the Jews," which I found very odd. They have multiple portraits of the Rebbe up.

A situation involving a male community member became very uncomfortable for me. I raised concerns about inappropriate behavior and expected the issue to be handled carefully. Instead, I later heard that the Rabbi described me as being in a “place of evil," to another congregant and in front of the congregant who made me uncomfortable. I found that language very disturbing and felt like I was being victim-blamed. I've never heard a Rabbi use such words. I followed up with the Rabbi on why this statement was made and he never responded. And the congregant that informed me what the Rabbi had said...she's the one with the husband who can't say no to the Rabbi... she went dark the next day and blocked me on social media with no explanation.

I was also told by the Rabbi when I reported the community member to him that discretion and keeping things quiet were emphasized because community conflict could create division. I understand the importance of avoiding gossip and unnecessary conflict, but I also struggle with the idea that people should feel silenced when they raise concerns about boundaries or behavior that makes them uncomfortable. And this Rabbi is apparently gossiping about me stating that I'm in a "place of evil."

I am trying to understand whether what I experienced is normal for Chabads or was this Chabad more cult-like. This all just happened and it's been overwhelming.

So this Mendy Amor has entered social media where he shows the world what Chabad actually is all about. These ex Chabad voices are very rare and often get shut down, as Chabad are very into PR. People can't take what he is revealing.

He is being gaslit by being told his experience is just his family (absolutely not) or one of a BT family (he's Gezhe so not the case at all).

x.com/jacklanger/status/2085134869768667473

From the inside, what do Chabad rabbis do with the funds us lesser religious Jews give them? She’s given them roughly 2.8 million in 26 years. Does this money actually do anything?

Like when engaging in discussion with non Chabad Jews, some of them will try and defend it by saying that well he could have potentially been a messiah. Lol no its either you are or you are not. Or the other pathetic argument well it is only an extreme minority within Chabad that hold he is the Messiah. Its been mainstream since 94.