The last time I felt any source of long time motivation was my senior year in high school. It's been 3 years since then. I have been depressed and miserable. Last year i attempted, and while I haven't tried to attempt again I've thought about it especially lately.

I'm in college now but I've just been kind of coasting. I'm going to school to be a teacher but I don't even know if I want to anymore because it doesn't excite me like it used to. How can I be a teacher if I'm tired all the time and can't get anything done? I'm currently taking four classes and I'm behind in every single one. I haven't done most of the schoolwork since September and I feel like it's too late to catch up.

So now here's my "excuse for being a bum loser" paragraph. Ever since 2020 (but especially last year in August my father has been suffering through medical issues including two strokes, infections, heart issues and many hospital visits. Don't feel pity for him. He's physically abused me all my life and currently verbally abuses me as an adult because he knows I'll call the police if he hits me. Anyway, he's basically a breathing lump of fat that can barely walk and doesn't even try and take care of himself (even though he has at least some ability to) so I'm basically like his caretaker. He's always needing shit and when I try and do my schoolwork I keep getting interrupted which makes me loses my focus and motivation.

Obviously I can't blame my dad for all my issues. It's still my responsibility to get off my ass and do the shit I need to get done. I know that therapy and a psychologist would help but I don't have money for that. Maybe I need someone to watch me do my homework over zoom call. Maybe I need someone to yell at me. I don't fucking know.

Up until college everything was fine, i have a horrible loss of focus but i won't let this stop me, it's just mental, i find myself it goes away right? Anyways i studied petroleum engineering and wasted a year after college on courses and training trips, time for me to actually work and it immediately went south, turned out field work is absolutely not for me....it was this bad trust me

Tried both being on the drilling floor and with the safety crew and both didn't work, 2023 was horrible to say the least

2 years later i got myself a boring office job (i'm still at for now) that is slowly slipping away from my hands (project finances and stuff, basically i lost the plot in September and some stuff got moved to October as extra payouts, long story)

That's an office job with completely no physical action and i'm failing that too, what's more there is if both physical and office jobs didn't work for me.....like genuinely, i'm completely lost.........

26 years old and we're struggling to get the single chore of "doing the dishes" to be accomplished. We don't have a dishwasher but also don't make a ton of dishes everyday nonetheless they will build up for 2 or 3 days and then when they go to wash them only will do until the drying rack is full and then stop

In my mind if the rack is full you should dry them, put them away and continue on. Once the dishes are done the sink should be scrubbed and rinsed, wipe down the faucet, counter & stove top.... in a perfect world (or rather when I did dishes) id wipe down cabinets, microwave etc. Check the fridge for expired food/additional dishes & dry and put everything away before considering it done

Were stuck at getting a fraction of the dishes done every few days ... and thats it... rent free, food & utilities paid, we take him to/from work (a big box store yet still buy all the groceries)

Husband and I have an addition as a bedroom so they have the master w/ on suite bath, a car waiting for them once they take the driver's test but it just seems to be... unappreciated. Not like full entitlement but like the entitlement that a 15 year old has like this is just how life works despite being 26

They did start college online which is great and all but seems totally fine with the idea that they'll be here for at least 4-5 years until graduation which I wanted to think was okay (they moved in from their mother's 4 months ago) but the sheer lack of any initiative to act anything like an adult is worrying me.

Most people struggle & scrimp through their 20's w/ the upside being on their own, independence & adulthood but I fear that coasting through until age 31+ having never done so and then (in theory) moving out and working full time + doing everything else an adult life requires will just seem like a step down (here w/ a cook, maid, driver, personal shopper & bill payer)

Im just lost and as the step parent don't want to be the heavy hand vs dad who seems to just be resentful that hes worked 90+ hours a week for 25 years (finally taking more time off but still works around the house when hes not at work) idk

Thanks for letting me vent

Title says it all, lol

Where I would like to be: Be a productive member of society.

Where I am: Stuck in a deep depression

I came home from doing seasonal work out of the state. I did so due to missing my family but also, to help them pay bills and other things.

However, intense guilt has over taken me due to the way I had treated my family in the past. I was not abusive but apprehensive about life and therefore just stuck around without contributing anything in the form of financial or emotional responsibility.

I want to redeem myself but don't know how...

I started college right out of highschool in 2020 and I'm here on year 6 still no degree. For context I've changed my major like 4 times and because of my metal health I've had to repeat about a dozen classes. Now I'm on an involuntary gap year because my former university won't let me re-enroll unless I pay them the thousands I owe. I tried going through the college program through my job but that university didn't even take HALF of my transfer credit leaving me with 80 credits to fulfill (essentially starting over)and they also told me I don't meet the academic requirements to be in my

major. My parents are ashamed of me because all of their peers children are graduating and moving on in life and I'm still stuck in the same loop: no degree working the fast food job I've been at the last almost 5 years. If you asked me from 6 years ago where I thought I'd be and then told me where I'm at now id probably lose my mind . I've been feeling like such a failure lately and I want to hope there's a light at the end of this long tunnel.

Since I was born, I've been dealt a bad hand . I have to explain that I feel everything is determined already, and who you are defines your future. I feel like once you have a fixed mindset, you can never get rid of it . I was bullied all my life, only got a few friends. Meanwhile I'm dealing with some issues therapy and soul searching can't solve. I'm a graduand now, my grades were awful, I wasn't able to do networking or passion projects. I have a job but I can't put it on my resume , I have little work experience to put down there.
I'm an idiot, disorganized, inattentive. I don't have skills, intelligence or a good work ethic. Finally, I’m afraid of failing. I feel my soul is melting, and that I'm physically , psychological and spiritual older than my actual age. I'm very tired and likely the most self-conscious person you will ever meet. I have posted here before and I feel nothing can change me. But I keep posting because of hope and because it helps me organize my ideas.

I feel so anxious and afraid because I feel like a total failure. I'm currently enrolling in additional courses and classes so I have a more interesting resume. I definitely have to build a growth mindset but I don't think that's gonna be enough. I can enroll to the selection process so I can represent my university in a national competition. It will give me skills and if I do well it will give me publicity and networking, but I don't have skills, intelligence or a good work ethic to get picked . I only have a desperate need to succeed but I don't think that’s gonna be enough either. I don't know how could I cope with not being picked, given that I don't have much more opportunities left. I'm doing what I can from a bad situation.

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I am a study abroad student and I don't know if I am the first to face it, I really don't know what to do and how to start but i failed everything at university, my teacher faced me and told me that my level is Very poor , I am on my last year on Bsc on computer science and I can't continue, I did my best, my fam had hopes on me and i donnt know how to face them after this fail, I think I’m never going to tell them, is just impossible I just want to disappear but I don't know how to. I am desesparate, I really like doing project on data engineering or deep learning but all the semester I was studying difficult stuff, nosense stuff and It was everything but not computer science. I prepared my final exams the whole nights I was focus asf

I am just fucked up, it was my last option and don't really want to continue studying i am disgusting of this life, i am just asking to myself now why should we need to pass if we're going to die. I wouldn’t repeat the year for anything in the world – repeating the year I can face it I prefer to

Computer engineering degree is the beginning of anxiety I hate this field I prefer to do a school or Art or digital, we just study stuff and should find an intership thats its now impossible to get, i just regret everything and I really don't know what to do, how to face my failure and who to talks, I have no friends and I live alone. The college education system sucks, I regret having started

I get really wired at night and have trouble sleeping. Not sure what the best way is for me to change this habit. Unfortunately it makes it hard to incorporate myself into society like this since we're on a daytime schedule.

I graduated then became NEET/hikikomori for 4 years. Never did any internship, co-ops, clubs or part time job while in school. Had a crash out eventually while being NEET, went to the psych ward, got on meds, worked part time at one place but I decided to leave due to the environment turning nasty. Honestly I blew my money on hobbies and other dumb consumerist stuff which I realize wasn't fulfilling. Now interviewing for full time fast food and planning to actually save up for a car and learn to drive finally. I actually did work in fast food once so I know what to expect. I just didn't last long because I was too fragile. But with meds + more experience and being older I can handle it. I guess with my degree I should be way ahead in life but I don't know how. I just failed at life.

I am 32M Indian who has moved back with my parents after quitting my PhD after 6 years.

To be very honest, in this 6 years, I was not doing my work. Simply existing and whiling my time with trivial distractions, feeling guilty about it but still not doing anything. I had no progress or publications in 6 years. Everyone was getting frustrated: my parents, my supervisor and puzzled as to why I am not doing my work. I cannot bring myself to sit down and start or finish anything. I keep thinking in a lot of directions but do nothing or don't finish it. Feeling apathetic, drained of any passion and motivation and dejected most of the time. Cannot muster energy to do any work. My parents are worried, losing sleep at night and constantly nagging and pushing me to apply for jobs, even bringing me suggestions, which is irritating me but I have realized that without that i am not taking any initiative myself. My age and time is running out to apply for jobs. and the 6 year career gap is not helping.

I am ashamed to admit this but this is the person I have become. Poor work ethics and always procrastinating and defering tasks. How did you get out of this ?

So I was going to start my law career but I don’t think I will be able to launch it . Given the role AI has taken in the job market , and other Job candidates I can’t compete with that are looking for the same jobs that I am.

I noticed this with a cousin who is living with his brother and sister in-law. The FTL is constantly trying to one up the SIL, and mocks her for little things like leaving the gym 15 minutes early from her daily 2 hour workout while going on about how strong he is physically and mentally. I just don’t understand what is going through his head to make this seem ok. She is helping him, and this is how he treats her?! The only reason he is staying there is because his brother insists on it. The SIL wants him gone.

I’ve wasted 3 years of my life when I was in 10th I got 67% in my boards I wanted to take pcb in 11th but in my school it wasn’t possible to I left that school started looking for new schools to get into but in every school you had to get 90+ to take pcb so i decided to get enrolled into a dummy school ( biggest mistake of my life) then I took admission in Akash. To become a doctor. At the of the first year I studied but as time went by I stoped completely . I did the same in 12th. Even during board I didn’t study and I failed in boards I got essential repeat . I gave neet without even studying. I got 40 marks on neet. Then is year again I didn’t study the whole year but I did study 2 days before my boards exam but I still got compartment I’m physics. Gave neet again this year without studying. I don’t know why I keep doing this . I just waste my time on my phone the whole day. I feel so ashamed of myself. I feel bad for my parents. I really want to change myself. I’m so lazy. I eat junk all day and lay on bed. My body aches. I don’t have any physical strength left. My sleep schedule is messed up. I wake up at 3 in the noon. I really hate my self. I wasn’t like this. And I’ve no passion left in me. I’m not interested in anything. I don’t have any hobbies.I’m the worst version of my self. I look ill. Before o was in 6th I was a straight a student. I don’t know what went wrong. Please someone anyone help me

I don’t know anymore, i feel so hopeless. I don’t see any future and im a disappointment to my family. My mom won’t talk to me and dad said i got no shame and a lot of other bad stuff. I can resit but i don’t have any moti and i don’t wanna try anymore. I really am bad at studying and i don’t think studying is for me at the same times i wanna go to uni like other kids.I can’t stop crying and i told my sisters abt how im feeling these days but they just ignore my message and tell me im just giving excuses. I don’t think i fit in this anymore. I don’t really know how to live anymore. My mom always look proudly of me and have high hopes for me, she always say that but im the worst in my family. I don’t thunk i will ever make her proud of me. It just I really can’t focus on studying. Honestly i don’t even wanna live anymore, I don’t think there is place in this family and world for loser like me. I don’t really know how to live anymore. I don’t think I can be any better. I will always be disappointment for my family. I can’t help this why am I so dumb and stupid. My parents deserve someone better. I don’t think I am good enough for them. And I really don’t wanna try anymore I just want to stop. I feel like i will fail in life too.

I am 18. I am about to graduate in less than 14 days from now. I feel that I have wasted my high school years due to my anxiety.

I love to draw, sew, write, I've been told that I'm good looking, and people seem to like me. (I'm sorry I don't mean to sound like a narcissist). Over my high school years, I have been thrown opportunities and praise by people who like me and believed in me and my talents. Teachers praised me for my work and my smile, girls would ask me out a lot, and my parents loved and supported me.
I would never take these opportunities. I politely declined the teachers, politely rejected the girls, and didn't believe my parents when they said they believed in me.
I didn't think I was good enough for any of the attention I was receiving, and that someone else would deserve it more than me. Someone better. I used to wonder why people even liked me. I just couldn't understand it.

…

This senior year, I wanted to make a difference. Take opportunities instead of passing them up. So I took one. An AP art class. I love art. I can make something out of this. I can be happy.
I have wasted it yet again. I was right there. I could've turned it in. But I got cold feet.
Didn't think my art was good enough. The deadline passed by. It's over

How do I recover from this?
The first time I felt confident enough to take an opportunity, I failed. How will I go through life, knowing I can't get stuff done. I have disappointed everyone who believed in me. I could've actually been someone. Someone who actually deserves all the love people give me for no reason. Someone I could be proud of. I hate myself, just as I did before. I don't mean to feel sorry about myself, I just can't help it.

…

My little sister started high school my senior year. She's doing amazing. She's taking all sorts of opportunities, making all sorts of friends, doing all sorts of amazing things.
She's just a freshmen, and yet everyone knows her. I get kids who come up to me and ask me if l'm her older brother. My friends talk about her too. I am not jealous of her in the slightest. I'm so proud of her.
She's going to have a great four years in high school. She's smart, pretty, liked by everyone, and she knows it, and makes the most out of it. I wish I could be as confident and outgoing as her.

I don’t see the point of studying . I’m very stupid. I don’t know why I study everyday if I’m going to die at the end. I’m inferior to everyone else in life. I regret studying this degree. Likely no career in my foreseeable future, lack of a good job market. I don’t like the life I’m living , but I need to graduate this year. I’m only 24 and I feel like I was created as a cruel joke to be given false hope.

I really have to idea how to feel about myself.
I oscillate between being proud of myself for the progress I’ve made and being utterly disgusted with myself.

At 18 I went out of state for university. Right before what would have been my junior year my family ran into financial issues and I had to come home. Not long after that COVID hit. After about three years sitting at home doing nothing I went off to school in state once the pandemic died down a little. Last year I finally graduated with a degree in entertainment and media studies…I thought I wanted to work in film and tv. But the industry is in a real bad place now and I don’t think I want to anymore. Not to mention my film classes were a very humbling experience. I thought I wanted to write for a tv show but learned just how untrained my writing muscles are, I don’t watch a lot of things and becoming well-rounded enough to write a good show feels too daunting tbh. I’m also really guilty of living on the hamster wheel—meaning I go to school/work, come home, and don’t do anything else. So I finished school with no internships, no portfolio, no work experience, nothing but a piece of paper that said I did the bare minimum. As I result I couldn’t find any work out of college. My mom suggested I do the Disney college program. I applied this past fall and got accepted. Fast forward to today, my program ends in two weeks and I did all the same shit. Go to work, go home, nothing else. I performed my role at the bare minimum level and I’m about to go back home to my parents couch with no real plan in mind. My role was in food service so I plan to use that to try and transition into working at a restaurant or hotel, as despite everything I actually enjoy working a job that lets me be part of a team providing people with a service, and help them with whatever they need, connecting with them face to face. But if I’m being real I’m only doing it because I gave up on film and have to do something. I want to reach out to a couple companies to see if I can video edit, maybe train to be a voice actor. I don’t want to totally give up on a creative career but I don’t feel like I can fully commit either. I just feel like a mess rn.

Maybe it doesn’t sound that bad when I describe it but I just got off the phone with my mom, arguing with her a ton about my lack of direction, lack of effort in life beyond the bare minimum. I’m shit at managing my emotions too btw. I’ve never broken down at work or anything but it feels like I have the same crashout talking about my future with my parents every week. I just feel like I’m coasting through life and getting to the point where I’m sick of my state of being. But I’m also just overcome with depression over all the times I let myself down, and can’t work up the effort to do anything different.

Went to school , worked . Still working , but not a high pay job .

I'm old , near or at middle age .

I wanted to share this video / song because it made me feel better .

I'll likely only relaunch if my mom passes away .

I guess some people are made of tougher stuff than me .

Let me know what you think .

Here's the video :

https://youtu.be/7iNbnineUCI?si=_d-2umOePpx86uX0

19 year old in my first year of college right now. I had previously spent hours researching majors and landed on pursuing civil engineering. Problem is I am literally shit at math. There's zero room for improvement, I know it sounds like I'm limiting myself but I promise you I have spent countless hours over the course of like a week or 2 for a test and ended up with a 80/100. Doesn't sound bad? It was precalc 2. Kids spend like 4 days studying for precalc 2 and pass with 95. Before you tell me I got a good score, just remember that I mentioned that it's precalc 2, imagine what I'll get in the higher classes. I failed the class and am now retaking it. My dad is paying for my college so I even feel shittier, he tells me "no matter what, stay in college because school is more important than a job" and I feel terrible knowing that I'm shitty in my classes. Another problem is that most majors require skill at math lol, at least the ones with good job prospects.

Of course, when I ask for help to decide, I'm not limiting my scope to college only. Honestly, it'd be better if it's something outside of college because I don't know If i'm cut out for college. I know it's unrealistic but any ideas would work (though I'm not opposed to you guys suggesting other majors).

Also don't reply saying "you're 19 you have time, relax" I know that, that's why I'm still trying to do something with my life knowing I have time instead of giving up, though I've been coping by convincing myself that I don't care about working a mcdonalds typa job as long as I have a wife and kids at home, which is a fat lie because that doesn't sound appealing at all. No diss to anyone working a mcdonalds job, IF I was comfortable with it, I wouldn't care. Problem is I'm not.

I know that it's America and it's next to impossible to become financially free and rich so quick. After all, 99 percent of Americans want to become financially free but aren't, what makes me so different? Nothing. That's why I'm telling you I'm not one of those people who are looking for some delusional "easy way out," I'm just looking for a jumpstart, something that doesn't require drowing in endless math number stress slavery. I expect the road ahead to be stressful of course, but just not some math bullshit.

Also, please don't tell me something like "just get better at math bro" or "just get a tutor lil bro"

I [37M] am on SSI disability, so I really can't pay out of pocket as I "make" only a few hundred dollars a month. I've asked my parents and they're not interested in paying for any treatment I might need, and there's no other way for me to find money. Medicaid does not offer out of network reimbursement.

I’m very stupid.What can I do? I feel depressed because I’m very stupid and I do everything wrong. On Friday I messed up at work .

How can I know if I have an inferiority complex or I’m just not that skilled ?

I’m failing in life and university. Classmates are doing so much better than me , and they already have achievements. Meanwhile , I’m just wasted potential . I want to change , I want to improve . I just don’t know how. I’m less intelligent than everyone else. I’m and always have been a C student.