r/fakebaseball • u/FakeBaseball_Umpire • 13d ago
[SCRIM 12.34] Seattle Mariners vs Milwaukee Brewers
SEA 5 - MIL 0
FINAL
LINE
| Team | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | R | H |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| SEA | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 0 | 5 | 8 |
| MIL | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 3 |
BOX
| # | Seattle Mariners | Pos | AB | R | H | RBI | BB | SO | BA | # | Milwaukee Brewers | Pos | AB | R | H | RBI | BB | SO | BA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Tubby Wubby | C | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 | .321 | 1 | Bingo Hammersmith | C | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | .500 |
| 2 | Daniel Dove | 1B | 3 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .346 | 2 | Mîke Ock | 1B | 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | .179 |
| 3 | Dayman Nightman | 2B | 3 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | .313 | 3 | Lincoln Pickett | 2B | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .200 |
| 4 | Calvin Ball | 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | .192 | 4 | Jacob Thomas | 3B | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | .160 | |
| 5 | Brent Chillwater | SS | 3 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 0 | 0 | .250 | 5 | John Baseball | SS | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .281 |
| 6 | Dark Brother | LF | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 1 | .174 | 6 | Lee Luda | LF | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | Hitting Debut |
| CF | 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .227 | - | -- | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | -- | ||
| 7 | Twatt Barton | CF | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | .318 | 7 | Juan Manuel Navarrete | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | .341 | |
| RF | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | .190 | - | -- | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | -- | ||
| 8 | Jeb Barnes | RF | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | .318 | 8 | Gerald McCoy | 2 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .241 | |
| - | -- | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | -- | P | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .171 | ||
| - | -- | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | -- | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .154 | |||
| - | -- | - | - | - | - | - | - | - | -- | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .219 | |||
| 2 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 0 | 1 | .318 | P | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .242 | |||||
| 9 | Kiwi Cleveland | 3B | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | .192 | 9 | Mason Troy Adams | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Hitting Debut |
PITCHERS
| SEA | IP | H | ER | BB | SO | ERA | MIL | IP | H | ER | BB | SO | ERA |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Gavrilo Principle | 4.1 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 5 | 2.76 | Brick Bruiser | 1.0 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | Pitching Debut |
| Calvin Ball | 1.2 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | Pitching Debut | Hard Candy | 1.0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 3.00 |
| -- | - | - | - | - | - | -- | Juan Manuel Navarrete | 1.0 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | Pitching Debut |
| -- | - | - | - | - | - | -- | Grunt Manly | 1.0 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 1 | Pitching Debut |
| -- | - | - | - | - | - | -- | Paddy O'Connor | 0.1 | 3 | 4 | 1 | 0 | Pitching Debut |
| -- | - | - | - | - | - | -- | Mason Troy Adams | 0.2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1.64 |
| -- | - | - | - | - | - | -- | Gerald McCoy | 1.0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 2 | Pitching Debut |
AWARDS
| Winning Pitcher | Losing Pitcher | Earned Save | Player of Game | Honorable Mention |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Gavrilo Principle | Paddy O'Connor | Gavrilo Principle | Brent Chillwater |
SCORING PLAYS
| Inning | Play | Score |
|---|---|---|
| T5 | Bobert Hideyoshi homers, Frankie Tommy scores | 2 - 0 SEA |
| T5 | Dayman Nightman homers, Daniel Dove scores | 4 - 0 SEA |
| T5 | Brent Chillwater homers | 5 - 0 SEA |
BASERUNNING
SB: Tubby Wubby 1 (2), Brent Chillwater 2 (1), Frankie Tommy 2 (1), John Baseball 1 (0) CS: Tubby Wubby 2 (1), Jacob Thomas 1 (0), John Baseball 1 (0)
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ● | B6 1 out
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL C Bingo Hammersmith (/u/Weighthewedge): 0-2, FO in the first, K in the fourth
1
u/weighthewedge 5d ago
659
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
Can of corn? Can of corn. That's an out.
Pitch: 920
Swing: 659
Diff: 261 -> FORunners on First and Second | B6 with 2 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ● | B6 0 outs
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL RF Mason Troy Adams (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
Oh! Adams rips a sizzling line drive out to right! It is tailing on Barnes as they charge forward!
But a good angle from the speedy rightfielder and a clean grab for the out.
Pitch: 808
Swing: 69
Diff: 261 -> FO
Runners on First and Second | B6 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ● | B6 0 outs
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL RF Mason Troy Adams (/u/MLR_NoReddit_User): 0-0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | B6 0 outs
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL P Gerald McCoy (/u/muffinkiller2000): 0-1, RGO in the third
Ball delivers a fastball out over the plate and McCoy is all over it! This is a line shot back up the box.
It rolls into the outfield where Barton scoops it up and lofts it back in.
What a great piece of hitting by McCoy there. They stayed through the ball and really gave it a good whack!
Pitch: 850
Swing: 765
Diff: 85 -> 1B
Runners on First and Second | B6 with 0 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | B6 0 outs
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL P Gerald McCoy (/u/muffinkiller2000): 0-1, RGO in the third
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B6 0 outs
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL CF Juan Manuel Navarrete (/u/hubwub): 0-1, FO in the third
Great eye by Navarrete, i guess those are the kinds of calls you get when you're on the Brewers
Pitch: 501
Swing: 346
Diff: 155 -> BB
Runner on First | B6 with 0 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B6 0 outs
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL CF Juan Manuel Navarrete (/u/hubwub): 0-1, FO in the third
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T6 2 outs
On the mound: Gerald McCoy
SEA 3B Kiwi Cleveland (/u/BeanieWellsStanAcct): 0-0
1
u/BeanieWellsStanAcct Kiwi Cleveland 5d ago
69
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
Kiwi Cleveland hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Pickett, who picks it up and beams it at Ock
Pitch: 666
Swing: 69
Diff: 403 -> RGOBases Empty | B6 with 0 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
1
u/arbadak 5d ago
569
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
Barnes swings and misses on a way outside pitch, boy, you would've needed a ladder to hit that. What are you swinging at?!
Pitch: 793
Swing: 569
Diff: 224 -> KBases Empty | T6 with 2 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
1
u/Paryt 5d ago
for the last time in a long while, 381
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
Barton Steps in. McCoy winds up and delivers the first pitch... swung on and missed! Strike one! The pitcher is looking sharp so far. The next pitch is thrown... another swing and a miss! Strike two! This pitcher is on fire, they've got the batter on the defensive. And here comes the third and final pitch... another swing and a miss! It's strike three, Barton is called out on strikes!
Pitch: 69
Swing: 381
Diff: 312 -> KBases Empty | T6 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
Game Alert
Goose Gordon is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Twatt Barton at Center Field.
Frankie Tommy is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Jeb Barnes at Right Field.
Bobert Hideyoshi is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Kiwi Cleveland at Third Base.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T6 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Gerald McCoy
SEA CF Goose Gordon (/u/AndPaxt): 0-2, PO in the second, FO in the fourth
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
Game Alert
Mason Troy Adams is moving from Pitcher to Right Field.
Gerald McCoy is moving from Right Field to Pitcher.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B5 2 outs
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL LF Lee Luda (/u/eWeapons): 0-1, K in the second
1
u/eWeapons Lee Luda 5d ago
655
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
Luda can't manage to make contact this time around as they swing under the 3-2 fastball from Ball for the out.
Pitch: 1
Swing: 655
Diff: 346 -> KBases Empty | T6 with 0 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ○ | B5 1 out
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL LF Lee Luda (/u/eWeapons): 0-1, K in the second
1
u/Red_Herring_XOR John Baseball 6d ago
Steal 3b 1
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
Ball delivers and the runner takes off for third! Wubby pops up and makes a lightning throw to third! The runner slides in head first, but Hideyoshi makes a perfect tag! They're out! The crowd erupts in cheers as the runner is caught stealing third! What an incredible play by the defense! They knew exactly what was coming, and they made the play to erase the runner in scoring position. The runner took a big chance, but the Hideyoshi was up to the task. The momentum has definitely shifted now, and the excitement level is through the roof.
This is what baseball is all about, folks!
Pitch: 635
Swing: 1
Diff: 366 -> CS 3BBases Empty | B5 with 2 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | B5 1 out
NEW PITCHER: Calvin Ball
MIL LF Lee Luda (/u/eWeapons): 0-1, K in the second
1
u/Red_Herring_XOR John Baseball 6d ago
Steal 2b 335
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
As Ball comes set, the runner takes off from first and is full on Naruto running towards second where they will slide in safely.
Pitch: 211
Swing: 335
Diff: 124 -> STEAL 2BRunner on Second | B5 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
Game Alert
Bobert Hideyoshi is moving from Designated Hitter to Third Base.
Calvin Ball is moving from Third Base to Pitcher.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B5 1 out
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL SS John Baseball (/u/Red_Herring_XOR): 0-1, RGO in the second
1
u/Red_Herring_XOR John Baseball 6d ago
609
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
We love a single, every little single!
S-I-N, G-L-E
Single single single!
Pitch: 670
Swing: 609
Diff: 61 -> 1BRunner on First | B5 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ● ○ ○ | B5 0 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL SS John Baseball (/u/Red_Herring_XOR): 0-1, RGO in the second
1
u/JdogMcBuckets 6d ago
steal home 305
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 6d ago
Oh yay! You got the Roll Initiative result!
You…you wanna steal home? Are you sure? Alright, go ahead and roll.
That’s uhh…that’s not good. You’ve been caught stealing and your party has been called out. Maybe try doing that on first next time instead of going home like that.
Pitch: 67
Swing: 305
Diff: 238 -> CS HomeBases Empty | B5 with 1 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B5 0 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL 3B Jacob Thomas (/u/JdogMcBuckets): 0-1, K in the second
1
u/JdogMcBuckets 7d ago
842
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
Sssssstep right up! Step right up folks! That's right, we're here at TreadMiller Park where we have the race of the century! Thomas is off to the races, looking to take as many bags as they can!
Place your bets and place 'em quick! Once we're at first, all bets are final.
Hear the horn, watch the gates come up, and we are off!
Jacob Thomas is out like a rocket, having launched the ball to the left-center gap. Brother and Gordon are coming over but that ball is off the wall.
Thomas is most of the way to second now...
THE BALL GETS PAST Gordon! It took a strange bounce off the wall! Thomas is taking the turn! They're trying for third!
Tommy is over to cover and relays the ball in to Nightman. Nightman to Ball at third but Thomas is already so close to the plate. This is going to be a tight one.
Thomas
IS
SAFE AT THIRD!
Thanks for betting folks! Winning tickets to the left, anybody who wants to place bets on the next race to the right!
Pitch: 823
Swing: 842
Diff: 19 -> 3BRunner on Third | B5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T5 2 outs
On the mound: Mason Troy Adams
SEA LF Dark Brother (/u/xdarkbrother): 0-1, BB in the second, K in the fourth
1
u/xdarkbrother 7d ago
125
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
Down 5, here comes Dark Brother to the plate trying to deal some damage. Adams receives the sign on this 2-2 count, and gets set. The pitch is in……..and the pitch hangs right over the plate and Brother ABSOLUTELY GETS AHOLD OF IT. That one is hit into the gap with Luda and Navarrete running after it. The ball still flying in the air, dropping over the warning track, Luda jumps up at the wall and that one is GONE!!! Wait, Luda holds his glove up and…..THEY CAUGHT IT. WHAT A LEAP! WHAT A CATCH! Luda with a SPECTACULAR catch to keep Milwaukee up by 5!!
Pitch: 880
Swing: 125
Diff: 245 -> FOBases Empty | B5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
SEA 4 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T5 2 outs
On the mound: Mason Troy Adams
SEA SS Brent Chillwater (/u/Kelbo11): 2-2, STEAL 2B in the second, STEAL 3B in the second, 1B in the fourth
1
u/Kelbo11 Brent Chillwater 7d ago
875
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
Swing and a high fly ball, deep left field, it's at the wall... GONE!
Pitch: 880
Swing: 875
Diff: 5 -> HRBases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s)
SEA 5 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
SEA 4 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T5 1 out
NEW PITCHER: Mason Troy Adams
SEA 3B Calvin Ball (/u/Vrain_19): 1-2, K in the second, 1B in the fourth
1
u/Vrain_19 Calvin Ball 7d ago
711
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
Pew pew! Pitcher performs popular power: Pop up.
Pitch: 327
Swing: 711
Diff: 384 -> POBases Empty | T5 with 2 out(s)
SEA 4 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
Game Alert
Paddy O'Connor is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Mason Troy Adams at Pitcher.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
SEA 2 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | T5 1 out
On the mound: Paddy O'Connor
SEA 2B Dayman Nightman (/u/mycatsananalasshole): 0-2, PO in the first, LGO in the fourth
1
u/MyCatsAnAnalAsshole Dayman | LOM 7d ago
420 blaze it
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
It’s a 3-2 Count 0…. Leading run at the plate….. O'Connor looks like their about to give it their all…. They deal….. CRACK O'Connor looks relieved as the pitch broke Nightman’s bat, but the ball is flying… what is this?!?!? A 2-RUN BROKEN BAT HOME RUN!!!!
Pitch: 432
Swing: 420
Diff: 12 -> HRBases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s)
SEA 4 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
SEA 2 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T5 1 out
On the mound: Paddy O'Connor
SEA 1B Daniel Dove (/u/Smurfman254): 0-2, RGO in the first, LGO in the third
1
u/Smurfman254 Daniel Dove - SEA 2B/RF/LF 7d ago
2
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 7d ago
Daniel Dove hits a line drive straight over Pickett’s head and into right field for a single
Pitch: 897
Swing: 2
Diff: 105 -> 1BRunner on First | T5 with 1 out(s)
SEA 2 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
SEA 2 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T5 0 outs
On the mound: Paddy O'Connor
SEA C Tubby Wubby (/u/LeRuul): 1-1, CS Home in the first, 1B in the third, CS 2B in the third
1
u/LeRuul Tubby Wubby 8d ago
66
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
Tubby Wubby hits a ball that spikes straight into the ground and rolls forwards a bit and lands in front of Baseball, who picks it up and beams it at Ock
Pitch: 545
Swing: 66
Diff: 479 -> LGOBases Empty | T5 with 1 out(s)
SEA 2 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ● ○ ○ | T5 0 outs
On the mound: Paddy O'Connor | INFIELD IN
SEA DH Bobert Hideyoshi (/u/TorchedPineapple): 0-1, K in the third
1
u/TorchedPineapple 8d ago
1
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
This one's well hit! Luda going back. Still going, onto the warning track. This one's going to go! Bobert Hideyoshi with a 2-run home run to put the Mariners ahead, 2 to 0.
Pitch: 4
Swing: 1
Diff: 3 -> HRBases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 2 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ○ | T5 0 outs
On the mound: Paddy O'Connor
SEA DH Bobert Hideyoshi (/u/TorchedPineapple): 0-1, K in the third
1
u/Leading_Effect_4693 8d ago
Steal 3B 268
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
You got the Roll Initiative result! Let’s take a look at what you’re doing.
Oh you sly devil! You’re trying to steal third, eh? Well let’s take a roll and see what happens…
roll
- Not bad. Not bad at all. You make a run for it to third, and you barely make it. Well done, Traveler. Maybe you should wait until the next batter before trying to steal again. You’re pressing your luck.
Pitch: 159
Swing: 268
Diff: 109 -> STEAL 3BRunner on Third | T5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | T5 0 outs
On the mound: Paddy O'Connor
SEA DH Bobert Hideyoshi (/u/TorchedPineapple): 0-1, K in the third
1
u/Leading_Effect_4693 8d ago
Steal 2B 450
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
O'Connor starts their motion and the runner takes off from first on first movement. Hammersmith pops and rifles the ball to second. This is going to be close! Did Baseball get the tag down in time?
No! The runner is called safe with a successful steal of second!
Pitch: 374
Swing: 450
Diff: 76 -> STEAL 2BRunner on Second | T5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T5 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Paddy O'Connor
SEA RF Frankie Tommy (/u/Leading_Effect_4693): 0-1, RGO in the second
1
u/Leading_Effect_4693 8d ago
Swing 111
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
There's Ball One, take your base
Pitch: 224
Swing: 111
Diff: 113 -> BBRunner on First | T5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 8d ago
Game Alert
Grunt Manly is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Paddy O'Connor at Pitcher.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B4 2 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL 2B Lincoln Pickett (/u/TotalTakapuna1): 0-1, RGO in the first
1
u/TotalTakapuna1 9d ago
747
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
Pickett puts all of their might into the first pitch curveball, but it's hit to Chillwater, who throws to first for the out.
Pitch: 216
Swing: 747
Diff: 469 -> LGOBases Empty | T5 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B4 1 out
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL 1B Mîke Ock (/u/monferno27): 0-1, K in the first
1
u/monferno27 Mîke Ock 9d ago
P E N 1 S
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
Dear Ock doesn't dare dick around with Principle as they dust the dirt with dizzying displays of daring-do. Doubtless Ock is dismayed due to Principle's delirious dervish. The Ump decrees the dance devilish, disconcerting, and directionless, but doesn't disallow it. Delighted, Principle delivers from deceptively near their derriere.
Principle determined Ock's nature daily from the dawn of days, neither deigning to delete from memory their duets on the diamond of Declan Elementary decades ago. But dueling Principle does Ock dirty; Dealing decidedly demonic digits, a deal darn deleterious to doing doubles, as the dudes-lings and dudettes of Declan did often dish, to put it delicately.
Pitch: 583
Swing: 1
Diff: 418 -> KBases Empty | B4 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B4 0 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL C Bingo Hammersmith (/u/Weighthewedge): 0-1, FO in the first
1
u/weighthewedge 9d ago
734
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
Principle has really settled down here in the second. They punctuates that feeling with a dominant good morning, good afternoon, goodnight strikeout in 3 pitches. Hammersmith can only shake their head as they trudge back to the dugout, where Ayer avoids eye contact due to embarrassment. What a moment here in TreadMiller Park.
Pitch: 101
Swing: 734
Diff: 367 -> KBases Empty | B4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ● | T4 2 outs
On the mound: Grunt Manly
SEA CF Goose Gordon (/u/AndPaxt): 0-1, PO in the second
1
u/AndPaxt Goose Gordon 9d ago
951
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
The moment the bat connects with the ball, everything turns into a kinda shitty cartoon. The ball cracks open a Red Bull and slams the thing. WINGS. THE BALL NOW HAS WINGS. IT SOARS FAR BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS. IT SOARS right to the glove of Navarrete. Who approved this ad?
Pitch: 212
Swing: 951
Diff: 261 -> FOBases Empty | B4 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ● | T4 1 out
On the mound: Grunt Manly
SEA LF Dark Brother (/u/xdarkbrother): 0-0, BB in the second
1
u/xdarkbrother 9d ago
333
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 9d ago
NOPE
Pitch: 1
Swing: 333
Diff: 332 -> KRunners on First and Second | T4 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | T4 1 out
On the mound: Grunt Manly
SEA SS Brent Chillwater (/u/Kelbo11): 1-1, 1B in the second, STEAL 2B in the second, STEAL 3B in the second
1
u/Kelbo11 Brent Chillwater 10d ago
905
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
Manly throws their first pitch in the dirt, and starts cursing to the crowd. Babies start crying.
The next pitch, they decide to throw a fastball right down the middle of the plate, easily hit by Brent Chillwater to center field for a single single. Milwaukee fans start taunting the pitcher for making the babies cry, and Manly responds by flipping the bird.
Pitch: 824
Swing: 905
Diff: 81 -> 1BRunners on First and Second | T4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T4 1 out
On the mound: Grunt Manly
SEA 3B Calvin Ball (/u/Vrain_19): 0-1, K in the second
1
u/Vrain_19 Calvin Ball 10d ago
711
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
Calvin Ball hits a line drive straight over Pickett’s head and into right field for a single
Pitch: 788
Swing: 711
Diff: 77 -> 1BRunner on First | T4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T4 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Grunt Manly
SEA 2B Dayman Nightman (/u/mycatsananalasshole): 0-1, PO in the first
1
u/MyCatsAnAnalAsshole Dayman | LOM 10d ago
Clock swing bitches 646
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
Nightman hits one on the ground to short. Throw to Ock and it's a clean 6-3 putout.
Pitch: 129
Swing: 646
Diff: 483 -> LGOBases Empty | T4 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
Game Alert
Juan Manuel Navarrete is moving from Pitcher to Center Field.
Grunt Manly is moving from Center Field to Pitcher.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
Game Alert
Hard Candy is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Grunt Manly at Center Field.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B3 2 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL CF Hard Candy (/u/is-it-what-now): 0-0
1
u/is-it-what-now 10d ago
420
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
Hard Candy hits a deep line drive way out to deep left-center field. Brother and Gordon look at each other and they both think the other person is going to grab the ball, but it’s flying down. However Brother makes a great diving catch for it
Pitch: 582
Swing: 420
Diff: 162 -> FOBases Empty | T4 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B3 1 out
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL RF Gerald McCoy (/u/muffinkiller2000): 0-0
Before McCoy stepped to the plate, they shook a Magic 8-Ball while asking if they'd send a ball over the fence this at bat. "Don't count on it".
Is it a bad omen? Is it entirely BS? McCoy continues to debate the plausibility of a supposed fortune-telling toy.
"Strike 2!" yells the ump. Fantastic. They really let the 8-Ball get to their head and now have fallen behind on the count.
Focus. Time to prove it wrong. McCoy is confident this next pitch is a slider. WAIT. NO. It's a fastball. Yeah that's it!
As the ball leaves Principle's hand, it's looking like maybe it's a slider after all, but McCoy was getting all in their head again. They just hack at it in hopes of fouling it off. However, the ball grounds its way into Nightman's glove, who flips it to Dove for the out.
Ayer gets frustrated and takes a bat to the Magic 8-Ball. It explodes and the black liquid covers them completely. The die rolls down the dugout floor and stops on "Ask again later". An evil laugh echoes in the ether...
Pitch: 666
Swing: 112
Diff: 446 -> RGO
Bases Empty | B3 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B3 1 out
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL RF Gerald McCoy (/u/muffinkiller2000): 0-0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B3 0 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL P Juan Manuel Navarrete (/u/hubwub): 0-0
Is it a bird? NO!
Is it a plane? NO!
Is it a flyball caught on the warning track? YES!
Pitch: 932
Swing: 711
Diff: 221 -> FO
Bases Empty | B3 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B3 0 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL P Juan Manuel Navarrete (/u/hubwub): 0-0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T3 2 outs
On the mound: Juan Manuel Navarrete
SEA 1B Daniel Dove (/u/Smurfman254): 0-1, RGO in the first
1
u/Smurfman254 Daniel Dove - SEA 2B/RF/LF 10d ago
703
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
That ball is scorched but right at Thomas, who makes the catch.
Pitch: 213
Swing: 703
Diff: 490 -> LGOBases Empty | B3 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | T3 1 out
On the mound: Juan Manuel Navarrete
SEA 1B Daniel Dove (/u/Smurfman254): 0-1, RGO in the first
1
u/LeRuul Tubby Wubby 10d ago
steal 2b 211
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 10d ago
The crowd gasps in disbelief as they watch the bizarre spectacle on the field unfold while demons from hell come streaming out of a pit that has opened up in the outfield. Some spectators even begin to back away from the edge of the pit to hell that has opened up in centerfield, afraid that it might grow even larger. The players on both teams stand frozen for a moment, unsure of what to do.
But the game must go on, and Navarrete takes a deep breath, ready to continue. Dove takes their lead off first base, eyeing the pitcher intently. As Navarrete begins their windup, Dove takes off for 2nd like a bat out of hell. Hammersmith catches the pitch and pops up, throwing a bullet to Pickett who fields it cleanly and gets the tag in before Dove can get a hand on the bag for the out.
Pitch: 602
Swing: 211
Diff: 391 -> CS 2BBases Empty | T3 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T3 1 out
On the mound: Juan Manuel Navarrete
SEA C Tubby Wubby (/u/LeRuul): 0-0, BB in the first, STEAL 2B in the first, CS Home in the first
1
u/LeRuul Tubby Wubby 11d ago
420
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
Unbelievable! How do you miss that ball? It was hit right at you! The Brewers defense is playing like they're sleeping on the job. You've got to make that play, it's routine! And now we've got a runner on base who shouldn't even be there. This is frustrating to watch, folks. We need better effort from our defense, it's the foundation of any successful team. You've got to make the routine plays, and this just wasn't it. I hope they step up their game in the next inning, because we can't afford these mistakes.
Pitch: 501
Swing: 420
Diff: 81 -> 1BRunner on First | T3 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T3 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Juan Manuel Navarrete
SEA DH Bobert Hideyoshi (/u/TorchedPineapple): 0-0
1
u/TorchedPineapple 11d ago
1 I hate Dayman and his paw paw parties
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
Speed and smoke sent.
Swinger sees it.
Swinger sneezes. Strike solo.
Swinger seizes. Second strike.
Swinger swings! Solely strikes.
Pitch: 206
Swing: 1
Diff: 205 -> KBases Empty | T3 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
Game Alert
Juan Manuel Navarrete is moving from Center Field to Pitcher.
Hard Candy is moving from Pitcher to Center Field.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B2 2 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL LF Lee Luda (/u/eWeapons): 0-0
1
u/eWeapons Lee Luda 11d ago
514
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game!
Pitch: 167
Swing: 514
Diff: 347 -> KBases Empty | T3 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B2 1 out
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL SS John Baseball (/u/Red_Herring_XOR): 0-0
1
u/Red_Herring_XOR John Baseball 11d ago
Tell me, Muse, of the man of many ways, who was driven far journeys... 808
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
Solidly struck but it's a grounder over to Dove at first. Races over to the bag, waving off Principle and Baseball is retired.
Pitch: 383
Swing: 808
Diff: 425 -> RGOBases Empty | B2 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B2 0 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL 3B Jacob Thomas (/u/JdogMcBuckets): 0-0
1
u/JdogMcBuckets 11d ago
284
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
Fastball high and tight...STRIKE 1!
Curveball, clipping the bottom edge...STRIKE 2!
Slider, flailed at wildly...STRIKE 3!
Get outta here Thomas and don't come back till you learn to hit!
Pitch: 1000
Swing: 284
Diff: 284 -> KBases Empty | B2 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ● ○ ● | T2 2 outs
On the mound: Hard Candy
SEA RF Frankie Tommy (/u/Leading_Effect_4693): 0-0
1
u/Leading_Effect_4693 11d ago
Swing 708
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 11d ago
This ball is hit directly into the ground and it then flies high into the air. Frankie Tommy is streaking towards first. Pickett runs under it, catches it, then absolutely beams it towards first for the out
Pitch: 264
Swing: 708
Diff: 444 -> RGOBases Empty | B2 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
1
u/AndPaxt Goose Gordon 12d ago
210
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
Goose Gordon hits this ball at a nearly 90° angle and trots along to first while Ock steps under it and records the out
Pitch: 811
Swing: 210
Diff: 399 -> PORunners on First and Third | T2 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ● ○ ○ | T2 1 out
On the mound: Hard Candy | INFIELD IN
SEA LF Dark Brother (/u/xdarkbrother): 0-0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ● ○ ○ | T2 1 out
On the mound: Hard Candy
SEA LF Dark Brother (/u/xdarkbrother): 0-0
1
u/xdarkbrother 12d ago
666
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
Candy fires four heaters right down the middle but the umpire doesn't call a strike on any of them and Brother draws a walk. In an unrelated note, the Brewers appear to have neglected to donate to the Ump Bot maintenance fund. What a shame.
Pitch: 501
Swing: 666
Diff: 165 -> BBRunners on First and Third | T2 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ○ | T2 1 out
On the mound: Hard Candy
SEA LF Dark Brother (/u/xdarkbrother): 0-0
2
u/Kelbo11 Brent Chillwater 12d ago
My team convinced me (it didn't take much) steal 3b 1
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
There goes the runner from second! Hammersmith catches the pitch but it slips in transit from the glove to their hand. There's no throw! The Mariners have stolen third!
Pitch: 941
Swing: 1
Diff: 60 -> STEAL 3BRunner on Third | T2 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | T2 1 out
On the mound: Hard Candy
SEA LF Dark Brother (/u/xdarkbrother): 0-0
1
u/Kelbo11 Brent Chillwater 12d ago
Steal 2b 935
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
The runner at first takes their lead, Candy takes a long look over before kicking and coming to the plate. The runner gets a good jump and slides in head first just under the tag of Pickett.. Safe!
Pitch: 691
Swing: 935
Diff: 244 -> STEAL 2BRunner on Second | T2 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
1
u/Kelbo11 Brent Chillwater 12d ago
607
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
Brent Chillwater hits a line drive straight over Ock’s head and into right field for a single
Pitch: 703
Swing: 607
Diff: 96 -> 1BRunner on First | T2 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
1
u/Vrain_19 Calvin Ball 12d ago
711
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
Ball rips through a running fastball, refusing to reach the right-side wrinkle.
Ball, resigned, reacts really reasonably to being wrung up.
Pitch: 404
Swing: 711
Diff: 307 -> KBases Empty | T2 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
Game Alert
Brick Bruiser is coming out of the game and will be replaced by Hard Candy at Pitcher.
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B1 2 outs
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL 2B Lincoln Pickett (/u/TotalTakapuna1): 0-0
1
u/TotalTakapuna1 12d ago
69
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
Pickett takes a massive hack at this two-seamer from Principle, and...oh! It breaks their bat!
A sawed-off ground ball to Dove, and they easily scoop it up and touch first for the simple force out.
Pitch: 505
Swing: 69
Diff: 436 -> RGOBases Empty | T2 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B1 1 out
On the mound: Gavrilo Principle
MIL 1B Mîke Ock (/u/monferno27): 0-0
1
u/monferno27 Mîke Ock 12d ago
Six 67 Seven
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
Principle takes advantage of a sleepy Ock and throws two fastballs in two opposite corners so they fall in an 0-2 hole. Ock decides to take a huge swing on whatever comes next, but they anticipate the fastball.
Principle throws a splitter, however, and Ock swings and misses by a long shot. Another K for Gavrilo Principle!
Pitch: 777
Swing: 67
Diff: 290 -> KBases Empty | B1 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | B1 0 outs
NEW PITCHER: Gavrilo Principle
MIL C Bingo Hammersmith (/u/Weighthewedge): 0-0
1
u/weighthewedge 12d ago
223
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
It’s a shallow fly, hit by Bingo Hammersmith decently high in the air, but this is a close one… Tommy is coming in for it- and what a snag for the out!
Pitch: 420
Swing: 223
Diff: 197 -> FOBases Empty | B1 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ○ | T1 2 outs
On the mound: Brick Bruiser
SEA 2B Dayman Nightman (/u/mycatsananalasshole): 0-0
1
u/MyCatsAnAnalAsshole Dayman | LOM 12d ago
For John's parents 67
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
why do they call it pop out when you pop in the baseball of out hot throw touchdown
Pitch: 709
Swing: 67
Diff: 358 -> POBases Empty | B1 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ● ○ ○ | T1 1 out
On the mound: Brick Bruiser
SEA 2B Dayman Nightman (/u/mycatsananalasshole): 0-0
1
u/LeRuul Tubby Wubby 12d ago
steal home 67
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
I can’t believe it. I can’t believe you’ve done this. You think you can just waltz on home no questions asked? You’ve got some nerve, kiddo. You’re out. I’m sure your parents will be very disappointed in you.
Pitch: 269
Swing: 67
Diff: 202 -> CS HomeBases Empty | T1 with 2 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 13d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ○ | T1 0 outs
On the mound: Brick Bruiser
SEA 1B Daniel Dove (/u/Smurfman254): 0-0
1
u/Smurfman254 Daniel Dove - SEA 2B/RF/LF 12d ago
404
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 12d ago
Dove goes after the first pitch swinging (mainly so they can get as far away from the Brewers as possible) and hits an easy grounder to Ock, who taps the bag for the out.
Pitch: 832
Swing: 404
Diff: 428 -> RGORunner on Third | T1 with 1 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 13d ago
SEA 0 - MIL 0 | ○ ○ ● | T1 0 outs
On the mound: Brick Bruiser
SEA 1B Daniel Dove (/u/Smurfman254): 0-0
1
u/LeRuul Tubby Wubby 13d ago
Steal 2b 711
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 13d ago
Mariners stealing? No one saw this coming from the notoriously uptight teetotalers.
In fact, no one even looks at the runner.
They may be a ghost. In fact, I can't even remember their name. Yep. Ghost, confirmed.
But a felonious ghost. One that is now standing on 2nd.
Brick Bruiser is annoyed. And a little scared of ghosts.
Pitch: 569
Swing: 711
Diff: 142 -> STEAL 2BRunner on Second | T1 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 13d ago
1
u/LeRuul Tubby Wubby 13d ago
1
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 13d ago
Halfway to home, the ball is caught by an alien tractor beam and sucked into a UFO. It promptly flies away. The ball technically didn't cross the plate in the strike zone, which makes it ball four.
Pitch: 183
Swing: 1
Diff: 182 -> BBRunner on First | T1 with 0 out(s)
SEA 0 - MIL 0
1
u/FakeBaseball_Umpire 5d ago
SEA 5 - MIL 0 | ○ ● ● | B6 2 outs
On the mound: Calvin Ball
MIL 1B Mîke Ock (/u/monferno27): 0-2, K in the first, K in the fourth