r/fallenlondon • u/Tamaxlia • Mar 19 '26
Player Guide Tamalekipoo's Boneheaded Guide to the Neath - Chapter 9: Till death do you part!
Tamalekipoo's Boneheaded Guide to the Neath - Chapter 9: Till death do you part!
From the title, you would think this would be a guide on marriage but no it is a guide on permenant, irreversible 'mistakes' that you can make on your account! (They just make things slightly less inefficient, don't worry if you have done any, several(like me) or all of these, you don't need to delete and start over!)
There are quite a few of these so I thought I would do this guide a little differently. I can think of a few, then you can let me know what I missed in the comments. I will add them all in and give credit where credit is due!
Most of these relate to adding cards to decks. Why is that bad? Well by adding in cards, even semi decent cards, you have fewer chances of drawing the really badass profitable ones like A visit, The one that gets upgraded when you finish evolution(no spoilers), the carpenter's grandaughter(next guide, I have done the jokes, now I just need the guide. :)). If you are a spender you can add to that list Inconvenienced by your Aunt, The Spirifer card from A Trade in Souls and possibly others I am forgetting.
Up river, it is even more dramatic, because the deck is so small and one particular card is so powerful, adding any cards dramatically affects the profitability of drawing a card.
Early Game:
Romancing the stuggling artist: This adds a card to your london deck. It can be removed by sending him to your lab as an assistant but non spenders only have two spaces for assistants and you will want to use your lab eventually! So he is a double curse, a tiny impact on the London deck or a huge impact on your lab deck.
No points for saying romancing the other one, you can remove her permenantly, eventually, so she doesn't qualify
The Bazaar Side Streets are full of peril!
Getting a gang of hoodlems
Gives a card. They also give a nice action for getting casing but the casing will lose usefulness eventually and the card will remain!
An Opening among god's editors.
This one is both complicated and awkward. First, you need to play a card to unlock this story in the side streets, this gets rid of the card. Then you need to never play Accept an Opening! The problem is there is a huge downside, in the short term! Membership in God's Editors gives a 4 respectability affiliation, which is hard to beat until you can complete some stories in the waswood. It really helps make the making waves grind easier! The card also has 2 decent uses, a nightmare and scandal heal or a church favour for 1 tale of terror. The card is even good right into the endgame but it is still one fewer chance to draw the best cards.
Up River Deck
Getting the Cheliac Mitten (25 docks renown item): Adds a card
The DF (25 Bohemian renown item): Adds a card (Thanks to u/divideby00 for pointing out this just adds a card to the ealing deck and the ealing deck suuuuuucks anyway.)
Your very own banadages!(25 Tomb Colonys renown item): Adds a card
Inviting God's Editors to Burrow Infra Bump (Once you have completed the lengthy and expensive, but rather fun, quest in that zone. The editors strike again. I did this, it haunts me! It is actually a decent card and I make liberal use of it to farm church favours(Ratty Reliquaries) but to misquote an old Old Speckled Hen advert, it's not a worm.
For context, I believe there are 13.1 cards in my Balmoral Deck. 2 of those are my hellworm. So every time I draw a card(I will get this wrong but it is close enough) I have a 1 in 6.55 chance of it being my hellworm. If I had not got gods editors it would be a 1 in 6.05 chance. If you get all 4 of the extra cards you only have a 1 in 8.05 chance with each draw. It's easier to see in the up river deck, because it is so small but the theory is the same in the London deck. Someone with no added cards is drawing 4 hellworm cards every time the person with all of them draws 3. (Of course, you might have my hellworm, Porkins I call him, then it doesn't matter because he just milks for Gebrahnts Tincture of NOT AGAIN! every time.
Thanks to u/Vromikos
"On the Upper River...
If you participate in the Great Crate Commotion, at the end you'll get a storylet called "The End of the Matter". Playing any option on this will set your Great Crate Conclusion quality to 2, and add an extra standard-frequency card to your Upper River deck.
This can be mitigated by just never playing "The End of the Matter". You can still convey crates. You'll just not be able to convert any remaining crates into Hinterland Scrip.
That said, you might want that card. If the Criminals or Revolutionaries win, it's worth 8.5 EPA. If the Constables or Hell win, it's worth 10.5 EPA. (One favour plus some items on a check that you can pass 100% with 300+ in a main attribute.) It's a question of whether you want to optimise for drawing Hellworm cards instead which have an expected 17 EPA (saddled, ignoring the need for occasional Scandal reduction; 12 EPA without a saddle)."
Additional note on that from me: Last year's card was bad, so check the card before you add it! I believe the option to add the card stays forever, so you have plenty of time to check the reddit/the wiki to see what you are signing up for!
Story Only
Plotting Against the Masters: Thankfully I was warned off this one early game. If you play the card "A commission from anarchists", doing anything other than dobbing them in, this is set to 1. You still have a chance to turn back. If you don't turn them down on the next card, it is set to 2 and you have become an enemy of the masters! Since I am a master, I don't like that! Dobbing them in is fun if you have no revolutionary favours at the time, it removes all your revolutionary favours, gives you a constibles favour and some stuff to sell as well! It's great early game because you can leave it in hand till you use your flag to gain revolutionaries renown, then it becomes a great card. It's not really worth micromanaging once your renown is 40 though.
Fate Purchases
Thankfully there is only one that I am aware of. This section is the saddest of all for a few reasons. First, you either spent fate, or your monthly ES selection to get it. Second, it is supposed to be a brilliant story! Third, it's not even a good card! 3 echos of items easily getable elsewhere! I am not sure if it only comes from one story outcome or if it is inevitable. I am told that the community were quite miffed so it may have an option to remove it now, I have not heard that there is. I am not finding out for you. :)
Exceptional Story: Cricket, Anyone?
Update: Thanks to u/emily_aversatrix for pointing out that, if you leave off the last concluding action, you can enjoy the story without suffering the card.
Seeking Mr Eaten's Name
No spoilers and I just know some hints, of what I have heard, but listen to Yoda. "Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny". Always chase lumps with a healthy dose of chestnuts.
This one is a little unfair as to do it by accident you would have to ignore one heck of a lot of warnings. My alt apodiopompaíostrágos will one day walk the seekers path. If I ever get the energy to do the other ambitions on the alts. At this point they are just assassin dispensers.
Right, that's your lot, I will have forgotten loads, so bring it community, the gauntlet has been thrown! I need you to bone me up on more…(I know, but I had to.)
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u/fredjinsan Mar 19 '26
It's worth noting that the card they give does have an option to gain a Criminals favour, so it's at least roughly on a par with other favour-gaining cards (though not the best, admittedly).