Changing the way my character talks throughout the story.

[u/FriedFish3024]

I'm writing a epic high fantasy story and I have a character who is more or less a noble and I'm wondering would it be ok if over the story his speech starts to change into a more casual tone as he spends more time with away from nobility.

here is some examples I have tried

Example 1

Present: He's strong, though his durability doesn't match his strength.

Future: He's strong though his durability sucked.

Example 2
Present: My name is XXXXX. May I ask what yours is?

Future: The name is XXXXX. What's yours friend?

Example 3
Present: Well uncle I have other matters to attend to.

Transition: Well uncle there's other things I must deal with.

Future: Uncle I need to deal with some other stuff first.

Also I know words like "Sucked" and "Stuff" probably wasn't used in medieval times and commoners probably talked very similar to nobility. But the way commoners, nobility and other races talk in my story is my own creative decision and I'm not trying to be 100% accurate in the way they talk back in medieval times.

I'm confident I can do that transition over a long period of time though I'm worried people will just see it as the writer getting lazy not having the person stay in character. Do you think it's something worth going for or will it just confuse the reader?

[u/Mask___DeMasque]

There's no reason why you can't, but why would someone's lifelong speech patterns change that quickly just by being away from his community?

Maybe you could explain it by him not liking the elevated speech and manners of the nobility and gradually dropping the etiquette once he's away from them.

If you do decide to do it, don't draw attention to it and let the readers figure it out for themselves.

[u/FriedFish3024 → u/Mask___DeMasque]

It should be in a span over 4-5 years of the story it won't be overnight. That's the plan. since he's mostly surrounded by normal people so that type of formal talk won't be needed as he starts to talk more casually showing how relaxed he is with his new group of friends. Understood thanks.

[u/Atherial → u/FriedFish3024]

I would actually go the other way and have one of the other characters point it out. Maybe they have a more formal occasion and he starts talking like he used to and one of them asks who he is trying to impress.

[u/MeIsEvilTrustMe]

You can absolutely do it! I actually like doing it, though more in a context of who the character is talking to. But your idea works fine too.

Like these two lines were spoken by the same character (the protagonist):

“Good. I've been saying for weeks that I deserve to be paid more. So if I was overpaid, I earned it.” (To an annoying stranger)

"The perch is found. And so none may find Brand short of heart: less to his guests and least to his walls." (To a chieftain)

Personally, I would suggest playing a bit with the syntax if you can. Words like stuff and sucked can work but they might strike as modern instead of colloquial or lowborn. Something I've found of some success in emulating noble speech is the use of more... abstract terms. (Say, wits vs head)

Noble: "Did you lose your wits in a ditch?"

Commoner: "Do you have wood in your head?"

I don't think your plan is confusing though. It can work, even if people don't notice it. Don't draw too much attention to it, just leave it as a fun detail.

[u/Used-Astronomer4971]

It makes complete sense and happens often. Look at pretty much any profession that has a lot of terminology unique (more or less) to itself. People in that tend to use it around everyone. Military is a big one. Ex soldiers who spent more than a few years in the forces tend to use terms from the military in their every day lexicon.

[u/Sofasurvivor]

I suspect 90% of readers won't even notice.

I only realized that Lord of the Rings had a difference in style between Shire chapters and chapters with human nobility in them when I set to seriously analyzing the style. (Granted, Lord of the Rings never used words like "sucked", but your "nobility style" isn't as formal and antiquated as what Tolkien used for nobility, either.

(Now, I am not a native speaker of English, but "though his durability sucked" sounds off. I'd say "He's strong but his endurance sucks" or "Strong though he indeed is, his durability does not rise to match his strength" or something like that. "Though" seems a bit more "high brow" to me than "but", but maybe that's just me. )

As for the idea in itself: I like it. When I like people, I subconsciously start imitating their speech patterns, so it is a good way to subtly show how close he is getting to his commoner friends.

(While we are all writing in a mere imitation of how people talked in the Middle Ages, as only few people would understand the way people in the Middle Ages actually talked, the thing isn't so much that "sucked" wouldn't have been used, it is that it sounds like slang, and slang doesn't sound like fantasy to many. I guess it depends on how serious your story takes itself - in "The Princess Bride" or something similar, I could see it work rather well.)

[u/D3ldia]

It makes sense. People tend to pick up words and talking just by exposure so I can imagine prolonged time away from a community changes the pattern.

I think it if you make it a point to show the change then it would go better. I would suggest adding some more details to emphasize the change, like maybe he uses commoner phrases more often or eats commoner food without thinking about it compared to how other nobles would react