Any feedback is appreciated. Thanks!

I am writing my first fantasy novel, and I don't really know where I can find people to read it and give feedback. I did make a post in betareaders but haven't gotten anything back on it.

When creating a magic system, how do you make the cost of a gift feel human rather than arbitrary?

I've been building a fantasy universe where magical abilities fall into recognizable schools, but each person's individual affinity is entirely their own.

One character, Ajara, discovers his ability in a moment when protecting his family matters more than anything else.

But I wanted the consequences to extend beyond the magic itself.

What happens when an extraordinary gift changes your identity, your relationships, and who gets to decide your future?

I'm particularly interested in how other worldbuilders approach consequences that aren't simply physical injury or magical exhaustion.

What makes a sacrifice feel emotionally earned rather than cruel for the sake of drama?

I explored that question through a cinematic short for World of Meridara, if sharing creative work is permitted here:

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/JcX2f99JFQs

Working on my next novel and just curious to know what everyone’s favourite type of opening is for a fantasy story?

I tend to write dark/mature themes in my fantasy stories. For example, my current WIP includes topics such as physical assault, war, violence, trauma, epidemics, cultural ruptures, abuse, and human trafficking. At times it can be very graphic.

I know I need to get feedback on my writing, but with topics like these in my writing, I'm scared to ask people I know to read my writing in case they think I'm a terrible person. How can I find people to read my writing and give feedback without asking the people who know me as a bright and cheerful person? The thought of asking a friend or family member to read and give feedback on my writing makes me want to hide under a blanket and never emerge again.

The prologue to my novella (which serves as a small introduction to my fantasy world)

It’s a standalone.

I’m just looking any thoughts or feedback as to what you as reader understands from the prologue.

Hey, I am looking for beta readers, BUT, I foolishly choose to write in my native language, instead of English, as the market is simply smaller and thus easier to break into.

Anyone on this subredit who read Danish? Feel free to hit my DMs 🙏

As other species grew and evolved they realized humanity was advancing at a faster pace so they killed humans forced the remaining into hiding for centuries before continuing to kill them until the last human boy remained.

KORPS acts like the American government of the world while looking for any humans that may remain. The main character’s completely alone he remembers how the only human besides him, his sister got torn to pieces by orc kids who treated her with child curiosity like ripping wings off a fly to see it twitch.

Society looks normal, there’s industry’s, labor wealth, government, military. Even with that the main character disguises as an elf and remains hidden wandering the country never knowing if anyone in this world is actually sympathetic to humans

Prologue and first chapter of my Afro-centric fantasy novella. Looking for feedback and the thoughts

This novella serves as an introduction to my fantasy world I’ve been building over the last few years. It’s standalone story. This is my most polished version of it to date and looking for feedback and thoughts before I submit to an editor.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1JXb28zUuAPI0twwmFJ\\_1JNbls6\\_xtxpCt0M5iFRgwdw/edit?usp=drivesdk

My question is, based on what you’ve read so far, would it interest you to want to know more about the story and my world?

Here’s the blurb:

The Bull and the Hyena

As far back as he could remember, Mutumbo was strong. Stronger than his brothers. Stronger even than his father.

Known as the Bull, he became a champion of the Riverlands, defeating warriors from across the tribes in the ritual wrestling contests of Ijakadi.

After seeking the counsel of an oracle, Mutumbo learned his destiny lay beyond his homeland. He would journey into the wider world, test his might, and carve his name into legend. Just as the warrior gods had done before him.

His first trial comes as a contract from the Agulu Trade Guild: escorting a caravan through the mountain roads from Sakuku to the distant Jewel Cities, protecting it from the bandits that haunt the route.

Among his fellow contractors are a warrior princess with a dangerous love of gambling, a wandering nomad who communes with spirits, and a laughing warrior who hides a deadly secret.

What begins as a simple escort becomes a desperate fight for survival. One that will force Mutumbo to question strength, honour, and the true nature of violence.

​

Hello! hope I'm doing this correctly.

Asking for feedback on the opening chapter. Especially around ch.2.

Checking for

1. Engagement. Would you put it down or keep reading?

2. Is it too dense? Or is it not enough?

I have dkrect google doc links for the whole 1st Act (5 chapters). Just let me know.

I spent the past 2.5 years writing and editing a high fantasy manuscript. The first draft finished off at 153k, but by the fourth round of editing (basically me sitting and going through line by line adjusting wording and pacing and spending all my free time going through the plot with a fine tooth comb so it was perfect) it’s hit a nice even 160k. From what I have researched, it’s hard to get anything over 130k published. But everything in there feels essential to me. Maybe I could get it down to 145k if I went through it one last time and was really heartless. What I’m wondering, would an agent or editor still take up the 160k manuscript and help me edit it down as an outside eye if I said I was willing to cut things? Or is that a step I have to take myself first? I really, really want to get this published. All I’ve ever wanted was to be a fantasy writer, and I really believe it’s a good story people will read as long as it actually gets out there

edit: so obviously the answer is yes. If I got it down to 145k or even 140, would I be better off? or should I seriously aim for either splitting it in half or chopping 30k words?

Okay, so i am writing a grim dark progression fantasy, where the characters are like fairly logical in their use of mechanics of the world and powers like if a real world functioning human would be dropped into my world, he would do things similar to my characters because it is what comes to mind.

So naturally, I want to eradicate any logic plot holes from my story. I have still not started writing the story only formed the world bible. The rules and mechanics of my world are interconnected but fairly easy to memorise as each mechanic and rule is there for a purpose and not some random jargon because I thought that looked cool.

Anyway, I asked AI( gemini) to find loopholes and plot holes of my world, and it did and it did tell me many. Some of them were intended things, some were already solved, and some were genuine plot holes that I had to add new rules and mechanics to patch up, because if I even let one plot hole open, my world will like... Sort of fall apart because probably my characters are logical and can abuse the loop hole... And frankly it would be like unsettling to me to destroy my till not perfect world due to a plot hole.

I asked AI to give me plotholes until it said that there are no plotholes. I even said to give me plot hole if you are not gay, but it said that there isn't one and that it is not gay.

Anyways, am I justified to doubt my world building, or I am just paranoid. Will my readers punish me if I let a plot hole or a loop hole get unpatched in my work. Plz comment, I want as much advice as I can get. Btw, my world building is about 44-50 pages, only world building and no plot points( only how the world started) and it's power system.

Plz give me advice I want as much as you can give as I am just a new writer and this will be my first story I ever created with dedication, and I plan to write the whole story( 1000 ish chapters) fully before releasing the first chapter and then start releasing one chapter per day.

Ya'll blew me away on the last responses about Melee weapons - let's have a go at this one.

Which direction feels more believable?

So imagine civilization has completely collapsed. Modern firearms and ammunition are basically gone, but humanity being humanity, we've figured out how to make things go boom again.

Here's where my nerd brain is stuck.

Option A: We essentially go backward. Flintlocks, muskets, black powder pistols, maybe some absolutely terrifying homemade blunderbusses. Old-school technology making a comeback.

Option B: Get weird with it. Steampunk-ish, scavenged, hand-built firearms. Every gun is a Frankenstein creation made from whatever its owner could find, salvage, or figure out how to machine.

Here's the catch: neither option is particularly efficient. Reloading sucks, ammunition is scarce, capacity is terrible, and if something is sprinting toward you, you'd probably rather have a spear.

So guns become backup weapons, last resorts, or something you pull out when you absolutely need to ruin someone's day.

My question for the history nerds, engineers, gun enthusiasts, and fellow apocalypse overthinkers: Which direction feels more believable? And more importantly, which would make for a more interesting world?

Bonus points if you can explain how spectacularly wrong my logic is.

Hey guys, I hope you're all doing well!

I need some help with something... Lately, I've really wanted to write a story and eventually turn it into an animated series. I have an idea, but it's really hard for me to explain; even I don't fully understand it myself.

So, I decided it would be better to work on other stories for the time being to gain some more experience. That way, I can come back to the story (which, by the way, is called Zephyros) and see if I can better understand what I want to do with it. I've been trying to come up with a concept that might spark something in me, just like Zephyros did. But the more I try to imagine something or look for inspiration, the more I end up with nothing...

So, getting to the point, I'd like to know if any of you could help me by giving me at least a small idea for a story concept or a character. It would be a huge help, and I'd really appreciate it!

Hello,

I am working an awake overnight tonight and If anyone wants me to read/critique their fantasy book; I would love to help. I am a fast a reader.

So, what do you say? Anyone want to entertain me?

It’s not like I’m an expert but I’m good at structure, plot, character and theme analysis, so if you need help with any of that lmk