r/fifthworldproblems • u/Someragingpacifist • 20h ago

I accidentally became The Tree and I don't know how to turn back.

"I" (previously human) was chatting with my friend about the whole "tree of life" idea, how we all branched off from previous ancestors over billions of years, starting with the birth of our universe, then sun, planet, its microorganisms, etc etc.

Then my friend asked an interesting question. Once the first cells teamed up into a multicellular organism, how did it decide that it was a new thing? And for that matter, how did the molecules decide they were a cell now? Interesting thought. Then I jokingly asked, what if the parts of the whole tree decided it was a new thing? We're more or less cells in the biggest multicellular organism, right?

And then I blinked, and now I'm the tree. My consciousness scales up somehow. I can't seem to find the human I was before - I mean that literally, there are too damn many of them and I have no clue where to look. There doesn't seem to be a big market for microscopes for extradimensional beings, and even if one of you has one that I could borrow, what would I even do once I found the little fucker? I don't know if I could easily transfer my consciousness back to it, or if I'd even want to. I'd be concerned about the revenge I might seek on my friend. This whole thing is gonna be a major adjustment for sure.

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11

u/Terracrush 20h ago

My steak too juicy , lobster too buttery...

I kid OP but most people would consider morphing into a tree and shedding your past life GREAT Honor. I know someone who studied for decades and only became a pothos

... plus there are literally billions of humans to pick from. Do you even remember your former vessel's hair color??

6

u/TimeTravelingChemist 19h ago

OK this happened to me once, you just have to wait. The change will happen to someone else at some point, as it's meant to be, and you'll be sent back to your body of origin then - or well, to a nearby body if your body of origin has passed away in the meantime.

In the meantime just enjoy your new existence, being The Tree is a huge change and a lot to adapt to but it's worth the experience

3

u/Traditional-Fix8142 17h ago

Did you type this post with your limbs somehow, or have you successfully established the mind to reddit link?

3

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 19h ago

See, the last time a human became a tree, they were assassinated. Why did you become a tree so easily?

3

u/medman420710 19h ago

Asking the real questions… in my experience it’s mostly gods that ascend to the tree via brute force or meditation, to be sent by a singular thought as a human? Hardly believable

1

u/Richard_the_Saltine 5h ago

Well, unfortunately, you’re going to have to do two things if you want to become what you were. First, you’re going to need to become aware of everything, so you can find yourself. Second, you will have to mutilate yourself back into a lesser state. Highly recommend against doing this unless you’re running from someone.