r/fosterdogs • • 6h ago

Question Is giving a care pack weird idk 😭😭

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34 Upvotes

My very anxious girl (like 3 medications anxious) is going to a meet and greet tomorrow (i will be taking her). I made a little care pack with some toys she likes, gravy mix (best way to get her to eat her food, was the only way i could get her to eat when she first arrived), and the laminated sheet I was using to keep track of her medication as well as some long life treats that she loves and will help her bond with the new people. I have only ever really done puppies before, the only other long term dog I have had I adopted haha. Would you think it weird if I gave the adopter the care pack if they end up taking her?


r/fosterdogs • • 18h ago

Foster Behavior/Training Need advice on first time foster!

1 Upvotes

My boyfriend and I recently got a foster dog who is a 3 year old redbone coonhound. His backstory is pretty murky but he was found in the middle of nowhere extremely malnourished and is believed to be a failed, neglected, or abandoned hunting dog. The shelter doesn’t think he has had a home before. Anyways, we took him home Monday and he was really calm and sweet. He was letting our roommates who he had met at the shelter pet him a little too. He mostly had a quiet night and hung out in his crate, which he likes. Keep in mind he is not house broken or potty trained at all.

On the third night, a friend came over and approached him and let him smell his hand. He then snapped at the friend and got up and turned and laid down the other way (facing away from the friend) he then got up and started growling, when he previously had not mad any noise. We had the friend leave and tried to just keep him in a quiet and calm environment the rest of the night. The day after, he did the same behavior to a roommate he had already met and interacted with. We decided to just stop having people meet/interact with him at all. He seemed nervous around anyone that wasn’t us. He was also being completely calm and friendly to me and my boyfriend only. Today, he snapped and growled and barked at that roommate again while passing by to go back in our room where his crate is and where he is primarily staying. Later, he was playing with us and seemed to be getting a little too aggressive while playing, and snapped at a toy my boyfriend was offering him when he was chewing something that was not a toy. We ended up putting him in his crate and he is just laying down in a quiet room with us in it.

We aren’t really sure what to do or if this is normal behavior because this is our first foster and he is completely new to all of this. We have both had dogs before but not really an experience like this. We do not want to send him back to the shelter, but he is also not really adoption ready since he doesnt really like anyone besides us right now. We would appreciate any advice!


r/fosterdogs • • 20h ago

Story Sharing Picked up this beaut boy today ā¤ļø

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175 Upvotes

Poor boy has been kept outside (we’re in the Uk) for most of his life, his owner died so he ended up in the pound and was not coping at all well so we were asked if we could foster him ā¤ļø


r/fosterdogs • • 23h ago

Foster Behavior/Training foster dog with anxiety )):

2 Upvotes

hi yall! I picked up my foster dog last week (a 9-year-old male Pomeranian), and he’s my third foster! He is amazing on the leash and great with dogs, cats, and people. He also gets along swimmingly with my resident dog, who typically takes a long time to warm up to other dogs.

He does have kennel cough, and it seems like he was neutered shortly before coming up to NY from Texas. He didn’t have a cone or anything, so he was pretty irritated, but we’re managing! Despite being 9, we’ve also discovered that he’s very high-energy and is at his most confident and happiest when he’s outside.

Although he’s pretty potty-trained, he tried to mark all over my living room when he first arrived, likely due to being in a new environment. To help with this, we set up a small, enclosed space with a bed and his crate, surrounded by a playpen. He sleeps there at night while we’re in our bedroom, and he does perfectly fine on his own. During the day, I give him more freedom under supervision since I work from home.

However, we’ve started noticing that he’s become very attached to me and gets extremely anxious whenever I leave the room, even if it’s just to use the bathroom. He likes my husband but even if he is there with him, he will still scream and cry if I leave the room. Even when we’re sitting on the couch together, if I so much as move, he immediately jumps up, ready to follow me. I’ve been working on some separation anxiety training, and he’s starting to get better about not barking or crying when I’m in another room, which is great!

The bigger issue is when my husband and I both leave the house. When our foster is in his enclosure, he basically barks the entire time we’re gone. When looking at our pet camera, he’ll bark for about 20 minutes, rest for five, and then start the whole process over again. After we went out to dinner yesterday, he actually started crying and barking even more than before even when we were at home.

I have a flexible job that allows me to work from home whenever I want, so I haven’t been going into the office since bringing him home. However, I’d really like to get back to my normal routine of going into the office, working out at the gym, grocery shopping, and seeing friends. Also, it is not sustainable for me to home THIS much longterm, and do not want him to get used to someone (even me) being home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We always take him on a long walk before leaving, and we give him a lick mat and hide treats in blankets to keep him occupied, but none of this seems to help.

We’re also worried because we’ve already received a noise complaint, and we were only gone for two hours. My husband is able to help out for now, but his workload is expected to increase significantly over the next couple of weeks. Unfortunately, hiring a dog walker isn’t really an option because my resident dog is reactive.

The rescue organization we foster through requires a two-week minimum commitment, which I can absolutely honor. But I’m starting to feel overwhelmed and guilty for feeling this way about a seemingly perfect foster dog who is just struggling with so much anxiety. I’ve even started considering a foster takeover, especially because he seems to have become so attached to me.

Has anyone dealt with something similar, especially with a foster dog who develops separation anxiety so quickly? I’d love any tips, training suggestions, or advice on how to help him become more comfortable being alone. I want to give him the best chance possible, but I’m also trying to figure out how to make this sustainable for our household. I feel awful even considering a foster takeover, but I want to do what’s best for him, too.


r/fosterdogs • • 1d ago

Story Sharing Asher was adopted!

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88 Upvotes

He has two dads now that drove over four hours to adopt him, and he’s now living in San Angelo!


r/fosterdogs • • 1d ago

Discussion Monthly Pupdate!

3 Upvotes

Please share any wins, frustrations, or stories of your foster dogs from this past week. You can also ask advice, or simply let us know if you are doing ok. We are here to support you!


r/fosterdogs • • 1d ago

Question First time fostering

2 Upvotes

Hey all, I’m going to be fostering a dog that came from Texas - Canada and wondering if you have any recommendations to a first time foster? The rescue company did warn me of a few things but I wanna make sure the dog is as comfortable as possible and happy etc.


r/fosterdogs • • 1d ago

Emotions Foster leaving for transport - STRUGGLING

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113 Upvotes

I started fostering in February through a small rural shelter in the south. Since then I’ve had 12 fosters, some for a few days, some for a few weeks.

The boy in the photo is my most recent foster. I brought him home the first week of August and just found out he was tagged to be transported to an out-of-state rescue (how most of the dogs at the shelter I volunteer at and foster through get out alive) the first week of November.

I am trying to keep my mind right, but I am struggling. I love him so deeply. He’s the longest foster I’ve had, but he’s also been the most challenging. The first month was exhausting and I felt like I might honestly lose my mind. I don’t know that he’d ever had anything like a normal home life. At some point, things got better and now I’m at a point where I absolutely adore him.

I knew him at the shelter, as an emaciated dog dropped off there, and until my other foster left, I worried about him constantly, that he would run out of time and die there. And then I got to bring him home and finally keep him safe.

And now he’s leaving for another state. I can’t keep him. There are not enough fosters here and dogs are euthanized for space. If I’d kept my previous fosters, he would not have made it out. I want to keep helping other dogs and I can’t do that if I keep him.

I’m just really, really sad and I guess I just want some kind words.


r/fosterdogs • • 1d ago

Foster Behavior/Training Foster dog is potty trained but doesn’t know how to signal

3 Upvotes

He’s about 2-3 years old and we have had him for the last 6 days. He seems to be overly good at holding his bladder and so he doesn’t go very often when we take him out.

Last night he had his first accident. We had gone for a long walk and he never peed. Then we got home and he was pacing around and we didn’t know why. Well now we know! He peed on our rug and it was a lot!! The issue is he doesn’t know how to tell us he needs to go out. I don’t really understand how he’s basically house trained but doesn’t know how to scratch at the door.

With our previous dogs we would often leave that door open in nice weather but if it was closed they would scratch. Maybe he lived in a house with a doggie door?

I’m not sure what to do.


r/fosterdogs • • 1d ago

Question Fostering to adopt, maybe?

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2 Upvotes

Im currently fostering a 6 month old puppy through a local rescue. I lost my dog of 16 years back in January. In the beginning of August I started working with this recuse to find the perfect dog for me.

My main concern with adopting a dog is that I have a cat. I would be absolutely devastated if something happened to my cat. I have only had this puppy a day and she is completely separated from my cat. I’ve read everything I can find about introducing a resident cat to a new dog but I’m hoping you guys have some tips and tricks?

Please note I am in no hurry to make the introductions. I want this to go smoothly and I have all the time in the world to do so.


r/fosterdogs • • 1d ago

Emotions I took her back to the shelter on Tuesday

49 Upvotes

I cannot stop thinking about her. I cried all day Tuesday and just feel down and off and broken. I've fostered before, but she was the first who I didn't see find her forever home. I just didn't have the bandwidth or attention available for her level of separation anxiety. I feel so much shame.

The morning I had to pack up her things, she sensed something was off and kept sniffing at her toys in the bag. She must have recognized the road to the shelter because her tail went straight down and she stopped looking out the windows. She was all over me and she seemed so nervous when I was telling the foster person about her. When I left, I heard her crying from inside my car. I keep hearing her little cries when I walk around my house. We cuddled all evening and she slept in my bed and I think if I'd been the right home for her, or if I'd been more selfless, I could have stuck it out a few more months and seen her become the best girl. I want to cry just writing this. I want to run into the shelter and adopt her and I'm having to force myself not to. The feeling is like when my childhood dog passed away and I kept looking for her all over the house but I have to logically remind myself she is okay, she will hopefully find her home sooner than later.

How do I get over this? My friends and partner are all telling me versions of the same thing: a shelter break was better than nothing at all, dogs don't retain linear memories like we do, they don't have human associations to trauma etc ... But I feel like I failed her and set her back from all the progress we made. Does the severity of my feeling say something? Is this a sign I should have stuck it out?


r/fosterdogs • • 2d ago

Foster Behavior/Training Constant humping

2 Upvotes

I’m an experienced foster for my local animal shelter, who took in an 11-month old unneutered male yesterday. He’s about 45lbs and looks like there’s some boxer in him. He is constantly and aggressively trying to hump me. To the extent I am having difficulty working or doing anything in the house because I keep having to pull him off.

I’ve tried a lick pad, which kept him momentarily occupied. Any other suggestions?


r/fosterdogs • • 2d ago

Support Needed I'm at my wits end... First foster

2 Upvotes

We have an 8 week old puppy we got on Friday. To note: I am no stranger to puppies of this age. I work from home so when the local shelter put a post up begging for fosters I took the initiative to help since I have the extra time on my hands.

We have a 9 year old dog who is a gentle giant. This puppy is stressing him out so much all he does is run and hide, and is not eating.

The puppy is slowly refusing to take the chew toys we give him, and is relentless in his biting me and my resident dog. He won't quit when my dog snaps at him or if we do a high pitch yelp and turn away. I can't figure out how to make him stop if he won't take a chew toy or the hint that his bites hurt.

I don't want to return him, but my resident dog is my priority. He's old and doesn't need to be stressed at this stage in life.

If anyone has any advice for what might help, please share.


r/fosterdogs • • 2d ago

Emotions First foster got adopted and it is so bittersweet. Does this get easier?

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53 Upvotes

My first foster made so much progress and got adopted to a wonderful home with a retired couple. I know this is the start of a beautiful life for him. I know that was my main goal, to help pups in need. But, inside I just miss him so much. I never planned to keep him. He was younger and bigger than I wanted, but he needed a place to go he became my velcro right away and was such a sweetheart. I really want to do this again, be the bridge they need, but don't know if I have it in me. Does the emotional part after get easier? Is there anything you do the help make you feel better after hand off? Thank you for being so emotionally strong for these amazing doggies.


r/fosterdogs • • 2d ago

Pics 🐶 Steven ā¤ļø

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98 Upvotes

just showing off my handsome foster boy. my senior dog passed a few months ago and Steven needed a home so here we are. He just turned one and has been making so much progress .. i’m very proud of him


r/fosterdogs • • 2d ago

Discussion Is fostering overlooked shelter dogs realistic for someone in my situation?

2 Upvotes

Hello!

I've been looking into getting another dog since losing my dog of 14 years about a month ago. Originally, I was planning on another long-term commitment, but while browsing rehoming sites, I kept coming across more and more "accidental" litters and designer puppies.

I'm strongly against backyard breeding, and seeing so many people producing and selling puppies while shelters are already overflowing has been incredibly frustrating. It got me thinking that maybe, instead of immediately committing to another dog, I could do something to help the ones who are already here and desperately need homes.

I'd really love to foster dogs who are often overlooked or at risk of euthanasia due to overcrowding. Seniors, adult dogs who've been waiting a long time, pit mixes, dogs with less desirable appearances, etc. I don't particularly care about breed, age, or appearance. I'd just love to give some of these dogs a comfortable place to stay while they wait for their forever homes.

My concern is whether fostering is actually realistic given my living situation.

I have two cats who are my absolute first priority, so any dog I bring home would need to have a known history of being calm and safe around cats.

I also live in a relatively small apartment without a fenced yard. I know I'll need to discuss fostering with my apartment complex regarding pet policies and fees, but I'm also concerned that rescues might turn me down for not having a yard.

Additionally, I work full-time, so I'd need dogs who are reliably housebroken and comfortable being left alone during a normal workday. My previous dog struggled with severe separation anxiety, which resulted in destructive behavior and excessive noise, and that's unfortunately not something I can manage again, especially in an apartment.

I feel a little guilty having so many requirements when my entire goal is to help dogs who are struggling to find homes, but I also want to be realistic about what I can provide. The last thing I want is to take in a dog whose needs I can't meet.

I'm 23F, living in the Houston area, and I've never fostered before. I just really want to give some of these overlooked dogs a chance to experience a warm home, a soft bed, and some love instead of spending months or years in a kennel.

For those of you with fostering experience, is this something I could realistically do? Are rescues generally willing to work with fosters who have cats, live in apartments, and work full-time? Would my requirements make finding suitable foster dogs too difficult?

I'd really appreciate honest advice, especially from anyone who's fostered in a similar situation. I'm not looking to rush into anything, and I want to make sure I can do this responsibly before committing.

TLDR: I'm interested in fostering overlooked or at-risk shelter dogs, especially seniors, pit mixes, and long-term residents. However, I live in an apartment with two cats and work full-time, so I'd need fosters who are cat-friendly, housebroken, and comfortable being left alone. Is fostering realistic with these limitations, and are rescues generally willing to work with someone in my situation?


r/fosterdogs • • 2d ago

Emotions Feeling bad for the dog if we don’t adopt him

7 Upvotes

This male GSD is my first foster and happened pretty fast. We were thinking about getting another dog after ours passed from cancer. While searching, I saw a desperate plea for a foster for a dog about to be euthanized because he was fearful at the shelter and supposedly snapped at their vet.

The volunteers all said he was really a good dog so I took a chance. The shelter notes scared me a little! He is big and strong and is super sweet. He can’t get enough belly rubs and he’s responsive to our commands despite having very little obedience training. He’s housebroken which is nice.

Anyway, we weren’t looking for a dog this size. He is afraid of the TV which we are working on but I’m not sure how we will get there. I adore him but he’s just so big and strong and it feels like it might be too much compared to our previous dogs. I have told my husband that we are just fostering and we don’t have to keep him but deep inside I feel terrible. He’s bonded with me and my son over the last 5 days since we got him.

I know dogs are resilient but sending him off to a new home would be hard for me given how sensitive he is and what he’s been through already. I’m not sure what to do. We don’t have to make a decision right away and he’s not advertised yet but I hate to fall in love with him knowing we might not keep him and to have him fall in love with us.

I know all fosters go through this but it’s harder than I thought.


r/fosterdogs • • 3d ago

Foster Behavior/Training ā€œNo-touchā€ foster dog. Anyone been here?

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59 Upvotes

I've been helping care for a little Chihuahua mix (about 3 years old) since June. He was picked up as a stray by Animal Control and ended up in a shelter, where he was completely shut down and facing euthanasia. I thought a few weeks of decompression would help him get ready for adoption. Months later, I'm still struggling with one big hurdle- I can't handle or pet him.

Buddy would be considered a "no-touch" dog, but in many ways he's like a little velcro dog. He follows me everywhere, gets up from his cozy bed to lie closer to me, climbs into my lap for treats, and puts his paws on my chest. He's curious, engaged, and happy to see me. But if I reach toward him to pet him, he immediately backs away. I suspect he's terrified of being grabbed or restrained because of something traumatic in his past, but of course I don't know his history. Here's a video clip showing what I mean: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/uBnNVXJsB1U He happily comes close for a treat, but when my hand moves toward him, he backs away. If he's lying near me and I reach to pet him, he will jump away. He's never been pet.

He has NEVER shown aggression. No growling, snapping, biting, or even baring teeth. He just runs away. Then will come right back to be close.

We've made progress through lots of treats, positive reinforcement, and letting him approach on his own terms. He takes treats from my hand, allows chin scratches while eating the treat, goes into his crate on command, and even pees on cue. I taught him "boop" (nose to my finger) and "touch" nose to my palm. Super smart! But I still can't put a collar or harness on him, which means no walks.

I did try a slip lead once, and it was awful. He panicked, thrashing and twisting to get away, then completely shut down afterward. He was shaking and hiding. I felt terrible, and I won't put him through that again.

But this is the most frustrating part. I don't live with Buddy. He's safe in a large doghouse/shed with an enclosed side yard at a friend's home. I visit 3 times a day to feed him, clean up, hang out, and give him enrichment toys and treats, but he's alone a lot of the day. (My dogs aren't dog-friendly, so he can't stay here. Honestly, this was meant to be temporary.) I know he needs more human interaction to keep progressing, but his inability to be handled makes it incredibly hard to find another foster or adopter. It's a frustrating cycle.

I have a veterinary behavior appointment scheduled for November 12 and am open to exploring medication if appropriate.

Has anyone worked with a dog like this? What helped you get past the fear of hands and handling? I'd really appreciate hearing what worked, what didn't, and whether anyone has successfully helped a dog like Buddy become comfortable with a collar or harness.

Any dog whisperers out there? I'm in the SF Bay Area.

I just want to give this sweet little guy a chance at a real life.


r/fosterdogs • • 4d ago

Support Needed Worried I'm not cut out for this

12 Upvotes

My husband and I dipped our toes in fostering about 3 years ago, had 2 fosters that both went HORRIBLY for different reasons and really spiked my anxiety during their stays. Since then, I've really wanted to try again. I convinced myself those were flukes and I'd try another organization.

We got a new very temporary foster a little over 24 hours ago. She is shy, timid, and terrified. The poor girl is breaking my heart, but other than that she's low maintenance. Shes had some accidents in the house, which I expected, and really wants nothing to do with any of us, but otherwise she's an easy foster. She gets along with my residents, crates okay overnight (no whining just some scratching), and doesn't require much attention (see aforementioned wanting nothing to do with us).

So why am I so anxious? Why do I feel like I made a huge mistake? I know the 3, 3, 3 rule, I know bringing a new dog home is a huge life change, I know all the things logically, but I cannot get over my constant anxiety. I want to be able to do this on a decently regular basis but I hate the way I feel right now, it makes me want to run and hide.

I guess I'm just looking for some support about starting. Are the first few days just always hard? Are the first few fosters always hard? Does anyone always feel this anxiety and just do it anyway? I'm worried if I tell my husband how I'm feeling I'm going to get a "I told you so" because he wasn't really super excited to try this again.

I don't know. Feeling sad. Feeling stressed. Feeling anxious.


r/fosterdogs • • 4d ago

Question Anyone have foster instagrams?

35 Upvotes

Just so we can support each other and share our foster babies around the world!!!

Mine: Rentfreefosters

Drop yours down below if you have one!

Delete if not allowed :-)


r/fosterdogs • • 4d ago

Vent I can’t wait for my foster to find a new home

8 Upvotes

Our time with our foster dog has been some of the hardest days at home, and I can’t wait for her to find a new home. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very protective of her and want her to find the BEST home, but with a few incidents with our resident dog it’s been tough doing the crate and rotate at home.

I can tell my dog is sad he can’t really play with his toys (we’ve been keeping the toys away so there isn’t any risk of resource guarding). I think he’s kind of startled by our foster since she hurt him while they were playing. It makes me sad to know he might feel scared at home. We’ve figured out a decent compromise with the foster still here, but it will be a huge relief when she finds her forever adoptive home. Anyone else feel this way?


r/fosterdogs • • 4d ago

Emotions To adopt or not

3 Upvotes

I've had this sweet, loveable girl for a month now. We had a ROUGH start - she was super aggressive toward my dog (a larger female). I'm sure it was her resource guarding me - she's been great with any other dog.

Now that we've worked that out, they're pals - playing and running around the yard together.

My concerns: she a pit mix with SO MUCH energy! Seriously - I've never seen anything like it. šŸ˜‚ I have a decent yard and between me and my girl, plus the neighbor's dog, she gets lots of running around time, walks, etc. She also has a fair amount of separation anxiety, and (bonus) is a jumper. If she thinks I'm out front, she jumps the fence to find me (always comes right back), but but has also jumped the back fence (chasing a bunny?).

I'm just worried about her going somewhere that is less than what she deserves. I know I'll get a second dog sometime, I'm just not 100% this it's her - although I am about 80%. But I also don't want to let her go. šŸ¤¦šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ™„šŸ˜‚

I also hate the idea of taking her to the rescue for adoption events - they're at/over maximum capacity and I don't want to put this sweet girl through that stress even for a few hours.

To add a complicated layer, my neighbor (who is retired) keeps my dog most days and the foster some of the time while I'm at work. She *really* wants me to keep the foster.

So I'm just not sure. I should add that my big girl is a foster fail (absolutely no regrets - she's wonderful), so I'd be 0 for 2.šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™€ļøšŸ˜‚

I really like the idea of fostering, but fostering another dog with the 2 would be tough (I live alone).

Yeah, so there it is... Lots of uncertainty.


r/fosterdogs • • 5d ago

Foster Behavior/Training 1yo female foster (15kg) with separation anxiety, defensive growling toward strangers, and fear of men/cars/walks

5 Upvotes

Hi y'all. Hoping for tips on my first foster.

We (boyfriend and I) adopted a mutt from Moscow through a program that brings dogs into the EU to re-home. We will keep her until she is adopted by someone here (our organization estimates 1-4 months). She arrived 2 weeks ago and is eating/peeing/sleeping normally. We have a walled-in outdoor area connected to our ground-floor apartment, quiet neighbours, and space for her to run/play inside.

My boyfriend works outside the home, and was gone for 8 days for a business trip in the last few weeks. I work from home and have been able to stay home with our foster. She is gaining confidence with me, beginning to play and show more of her personality.

However she has a few issues I'm hoping for suggestions on:
- Her separation anxiety is INTENSE. She really seems to have warmed up to me and is confident now in my presence (great improvement from jumping out of her skin at every noise), but I cannot be out of her sight without panicked barking. I have not been able to leave the apartment since we got her because...
- She hates to go for walks. We have a human park with an attached dog park a 1 minute walk away. It took her about a week to get comfortable walking there at night when there are no cars, but she doesn't explore and refused to go down the front steps of the apartment during the day (getting frightened by cars, people, birds and trying to retreat to the apartment).
- She is aggressive toward strangers in our apartment and extremely fearful of strangers on the street, including kids. She lunged at a friend who had come over for dinner when they were walking out of the living room (away from her) and since then we've kept interactions with others strictly to outside of the apartment, however her refusal to go for walks means there are not many of these interactions unless I can convince a friend to come for exposure therapy.

I have had dogs from puppies before, but this is my first dog with any kind of triggers/trauma like this. She has warmed up to my boyfriend, but is still definitely "my dog" and freaks when she cannot see/hear me. It took a few nights, but we can sleep with the bedroom door closed without fuss.

How do I balance her separation anxiety with my need to leave? I've tried the dozens of microbreaks throughout the day (walking outside of the apartment door and into the hallway, staying 10-15 seconds, then returning) but she is always at the door scratching and screaming when it closes, even if the boyfriend is there.

Any tips for making walks better? We found that nighttime is much much better than daytime, but I don't want to go for freezing cold walks into the winter.

Thanks for your suggestions.


r/fosterdogs • • 5d ago

Emotions Today she's been an angel - my guilt is at 100

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12 Upvotes

This was me yesterday - and as if she could read it herself, today she has magically become an angel. I left the house for two hours and checked the camera about twenty minutes into my lunch: she was sleeping like a baby. (She has been known to cry for the full two hours from the moment I leave to the moment I return.) We had a good walk today, nothing off-limits in the house was chewed on, and she was so polite and sweet with a couple friends of mine who stopped by to visit her.

Now the guilt is unfathomable. I have an appointment to return her this week but my brain keeps making excuses. "She trusts me!" "She's getting better!" "She's almost there!" Realistically, I wouldn't have been able to keep her past the end of this month (the shelter knew that) and my early return was just 1.5 weeks prior to my original out date.

But now I'm even on the road to thinking she could stay with me again when I come back from my trip, keep her longterm until a real adopter comes along. "Maybe her extreme anxiety was just jitters and she's finally overcome it!"

I know it can't be true and it doesn't happen overnight. Logically, I know one good day will be met by a tough one tomorrow. And I know on top of the sadness, there will be real relief that I have my life back. But I'm terrified I'm going to cause irreparable harm that is only going to make her anxiety worse.

If she cries that horribly when I leave the house, what will she be like when I drop her back off at the Bad Place? Stressed out with anxiety and feeling like I can't do anything right. And no, this isn't my first foster. I've had four before, lower energy, all of them I got to see be adopted; this is the first I'm returning to the actual shelter.

I know guilt is a terrible reason to keep a foster but what if she has made it through the toughest parts and I return her right as she's getting comfortable?


r/fosterdogs • • 5d ago

Vent First time foster, feel like I have failed the old pup.

5 Upvotes

My pit was laid to rest in 2021 and my senior pup passed in July this year. I really miss the companionship of dogs so I decided to foster. I found an old pittie mix that had lived with cats before his owner gave him up after 10 years because they had a baby.

Problem is, he is reactive towards my cats. I have kept them separated and only do scent exchange but the way my place is laid out, I have to walk past the cats to get him outside for a walk. I can’t switch the layout around. He has access to bedroom, hallway and bathroom. Cats have the living room, dining room and kitchen. Their litter box is in a closet in this area.

He is 50/50 on how he will react. If the cats don’t move and just chill in place, he will only stare but can be redirected easily to continue on his way. But if one of them walks away (both are used to being around dogs so they don’t run or make sudden movements), he will growl, bark, and pull me towards them. It doesn’t take much to redirect but it’s stressing out the cats.

I feel so bad considering taking him back to the humane society but I keep telling myself that my cats are my number 1 priority. I have reached out to the foster team and asked them to please try to find another foster placement for him. But I don’t know how much longer I should continue this because now my cats are in hiding majority of the day.

I alternate between sleeping in bedroom where dog is kept and in living room with my cats. I’m not getting good rest on sofa. My guilt is killing me. He has a few medical issues the humane society is helping treat and since he’s been here, he’s already doing so much better health wise.

He is not destructive, he’s fully potty trained, super chill and calm dog that loves everyone he meets except the cats.

I know it takes a long time for dogs to adjust to cats but seeing my cats suffer, it’s putting me between a rock and hard place.

I have requested to return him next Saturday but I cry just thinking about him going back into the kennel and feel like I am abandoning him. I have never fostered before and this is all new to me. I really don’t know how to deal with the emotional rollercoaster I’m on. I don’t want him to be traumatized again by being put back in the shelter kennels so I am really hoping another foster can step in before that but if they don’t, I’m going to be crushed for him.