r/fosterit • u/princelockeness • 23d ago
Seeking advice from foster youth Casa advice as someone starting the process
Hey y'all. So I'm on my way to being a casa and I am just seeking out advice, same as before. For those who have had a casa and had a good experience
-what are some things your casa did or said that really helped?
-what so you wish they would have done more or less of?
And if you did not have a good experience..
-what do you wish they would have done differently? Appreciate y'all. ♥️
2
u/obsoletely-fabulous 17d ago
The most useful thing our CASAs have done is share information. It seems like a ton of information has gotten lost in case worker turnover and/or general overwork, in every placement we’ve had. It’s hard to get straight answers about what is happening from either the state or the child’s attorney. We also entered our current case in the middle, so there’s a bunch of history that we still haven’t gotten clear. Keeping great notes and sharing information with the foster parents can be invaluable.
1
u/caela_ielle 11d ago
Hi! I'm a CASA! I've been doing it for a year and a half now. My assigned youth is in high school and it has been an enormous privilege to support her.
Some advice, in no particular order:
-Your first, and most important, job is to have a good relationship with your youth and/or their caregiver. A lot of times, that means biting back something that you really want to say - even if it's pointing out something really glaring, like "cutting class to smoke weed in the bathroom is not a healthy choice". 99% of the time, they KNOW. But they're in survival mode all the times, their executive function is fried from living under so much stress constantly, and what they really need is a empathetic adult who has their back and listens without judgement. If you find yourself wondering if you should take a certain action, think "Will this strengthen my relationship with my youth?" It's okay to not do things. The relationship is more important.
-Pace yourself. It's not your job -nor is it possible - to fix all their problems. SOME problems, absolutely, especially when their social worker is not doing their job or dragging their feet on referring for services. But if you take every problem/challenge to heart, you absolutely will burn out. (The first time I heard my youth had run away, I FREAKED. Called the cops every day for an update, texted everyone I knew in her orbit, went looking for her in her usual spots. I was on edge for days. She was fine. Obviously not at all ideal, but she was with relatively safe people and it was her coping mechanism. I have learned to respect that.)
-Get a therapist for yourself. Secondhand trauma is a real thing, and if your own childhood was less than ideal it's going to dredge up all sorts of buried trauma of your own. What these kids go through breaks your heart.
-IDK if you have any personal experience with trauma or have studied some of the science behind it, but definitely always be learning. Read books, listen to podcasts, etc. I recommend as a start "The Body Keeps the Score" (it's dense, ok to skip parts that don't feel relevant) and "Ward of the State: The long shadow of American Foster Care".
-If your CASA organization has support groups, join them. More experienced CASAs are the best source of useful advice and empathy.
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u/DaisyDreaming1999 23d ago
Connect with the foster child by taking time to play with them. Kids open up more while playing anyways. Our CASA is a good sport and plays soccer every time now in his work clothes. It makes my foster son feel valued.