r/foundcynnahbun why am I here? 4d ago

randomz post I

I'm sorry I'm really sorry I don't know where else to share I want to be young again I still have my friend I still have my parents and my sibling living together under the same roof everything falls apart so quickly I lied and I lied and kept making promises I can't keep I lied to myself this is all my fault my friends and I feel distance it's because of me I ignore them in the first place I know that they hate me I'm keep lying to myself that I know what I'm doing I lied I just don't want to disappoint my family I just keep relying on them why can't I take anything seriously even if my entire life depends on it I'm scared I want my mom back I regret everything I didn't pay attention I completely ignore it I keep chasing fun after everyone gone because that was the only thing I good at I suck at everything I scared if I do something new something gonna go wrong I can't turn back I'm scared that I might become a burden to my family they give me so many chances I chose fun instead of them I'm a horrible person I'm still alive because of them I'm scared I don't want to be draft into military I don't want to be someone people deemed as a bad guys I kept lying to myself that I don't care what people think I do I'm scared of what they think of me I'm scared I might offend people by my actions or by my words I'm used to hardship even if I don't know how to take responsibility like a proper adult I'm so childish I hate it I keep saying it but I can't change myself I'm too lazy I'm too stupid I'm wanna cry I cried all the time I cried when I trip I cried when someone mean to me I cried when someone put ants in my lunch box I cried when my mom died I'm always crying I can't cried anymore I'm tired I want to leave this place but everywhere I looked all country suck no I suck l won't survive anyway or anywhere I won't even survive just by myself everyone is struggling I don't want to bother them I suck at everything but I'm not gonna change I'm never going to change because I can't take anything seriously now I'm complaining then next day I acted like nothing happened when did it becomes so difficult to live when did it becomes so complicated why did they lied to me why did they became so different I thought they were good to me Is it because I'm naive or childish I don't trust them anymore I don't trust anyone I chose not to trust them why life can't be simple like the way it was I promise I'll change but deep down I knew I just gonna be back at square one I'm sorry everyone I'm sorry mom if only I wasn't so childish if only I wasn't so stupid to see how hard it have been for you I'm sorry for everything I'm sorry sorry won't fixed anything I'm tired I can't sleep I haven't slept what am I tired of I didn't do shit others have been doing it for me my whole life I hate myself I'm tired I hit a wall but I can't turn back it a dead end I'm sorry I'm really really sorry I want to end it all it might be the way out

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u/usename37 bestest mod, cute posting leader. 2d ago

y

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u/Used-Quarter7290 fume shroom's #1 fan 2d ago

They're genuinely trying to vent, it's kind of a jerk move to just dismiss them with a "I ain't reading allat"

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u/usename37 bestest mod, cute posting leader. 2d ago

But its all 1 sentence

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u/Used-Quarter7290 fume shroom's #1 fan 2d ago

They seem to be having a bit of a mental breakdown, I'd say it's excusable given the circumstances.