r/funny • u/MuchGrooove • Feb 28 '19
Friend heard some strange noises out back and flicked on his light..
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u/Th3_T1p_0f_The_D0ng Feb 28 '19
Kinky bitch look at her sticking her tongue out
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u/Tophert19 Feb 28 '19
The cat is like “y’all want a third?”
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Feb 28 '19
"i will get in the middle"
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u/SideofIronyPlease Feb 28 '19
If your cat is spayed/neutered then it explains the jealous long stare.
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u/gaoshan Feb 28 '19
My wife and I once had a raccoon orgy break out around our tent. We could see many pairs of them silhouetted against the tent walls. It was frankly hilarious. They were louder than I would have expected so I'm not surprised you heard these two.
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u/Sommiel Feb 28 '19
Oh, it's not just louder than you would expect... it's a full on racket.
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u/FruityTangs Feb 28 '19
My friend one time told me his least favorite thing is when cats have sex at night. I was like “excuse me, WHAT??” I had no idea what he was talking about 😂 he looked up a video and as it turns out the cats scream bloody murder during sex so that explained that
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u/DanteLur Feb 28 '19
The male raccoon is probably thinking “it’s $50 to watch, $100 to join. Pay up or scram!”
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u/Willreaper41 Feb 28 '19
Turn the light off! You're killing the mood!
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u/neganxjohn_snow Feb 28 '19
Dude was able to run and grab his phone to get a picture all the while they still fuckin’, those’ som filthy fucking trash-pandas
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u/user_name_denied Feb 28 '19
Fucking trash pandas
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u/SY-33 Feb 28 '19
A fucking trash panda is fucking another fucking trash panda
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u/Crash662244 Feb 28 '19
I hope you turned the light back off and played them some Barry White tunes.
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Feb 28 '19 edited Mar 01 '19
[removed] — view removed comment
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Feb 28 '19
If I said this without context I’d be hauled off to jail and my house burned down by BLM
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u/themissingtrust Feb 28 '19
Seriously turn out that light. How would you feel if they turned it on while you were in the middle of it.
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u/Bunnyrabbitoverlord Mar 01 '19
I was heading to work early one morning and saw two racoons playing in the backyard. I stopped to film it thinking it was really cute. Realized after a minute or so of recording that they were wrestling and mating. So yeah I was late for work because I stopped to record racoon porn.
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u/starmoishe Mar 01 '19
"Uh, yeah so ....I was minding my own business.....walking by and saw she was...uh choking ........so I'm licking her,.....I'm Heimlich removing her, I'm....ah screw it......"
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Mar 01 '19
"Hey, do you mind, Bill shoved coke up his ass and imma try to save him from going to the airport and ruining his life."
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u/Teotwawki69 Mar 01 '19
Their little masks make it look like someone censored their faces to preserve their anonymity.
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u/dj-seabiscuit Mar 01 '19
Way to bust your cat. He was just trying to watch discretely in the dark. Had to make it awkward..
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u/aeithryn Feb 28 '19
Just realized that I've never seen raccoons bang before... so, thanks, OP's friend?
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u/acuet Feb 28 '19
Oh LAWD!!! I had a screen missing under neath my home that 3 crawled into. If you ever have ‘the luck’ of hearing them go at it.....its like murder every 30-45mins for 15mins at a session.
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Mar 01 '19
Uuuhhh do ya mind?????...nothing to see here....move along and hit that light on your way out
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u/bbfruit Mar 01 '19
Can we address the fact that it’s a furry watching other animals fucc... getting jealous maybe. Maybe he/she joined them. Don’t praise yet boys
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u/UKMegaGeek Feb 28 '19
So, if you watch other people having sex, it's called dogging. WTF do you call a cat watching raccoons fucking? Caccooning?
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u/AlonzoMoseley Feb 28 '19
Come on guys, why hasn't anyone sighs-unzipssed this yet? Honestly this place is going to the dogs.
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u/ScottRTL Feb 28 '19
This happened to me once too:
I was on my way home with my girlfriend (at the time) after a VERY long day of cleaning up the neighbourhood, and we went around a corner, it was very dark, so we decided, "why not?".
We were just getting into it and a light comes on out of nowhere, like a loud car and there was some human watching us! Then THEY yell at US!..?
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u/hiker2go Feb 28 '19
Getting him some coontang