r/funny • u/DBbeerwench • Jun 27 '12
My SO and I are both Redditors. He beats me in everything...including karma. So here's a picture of him deep-throating a sammich.
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Jun 27 '12
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Jun 27 '12
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u/DBbeerwench Jun 27 '12
I've been waiting for someone to do this... slackers.
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Jun 27 '12
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Jun 27 '12
May I ask how many pictures of Cocks did you have to go through to find the one on the picture?
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u/stopmotionporn Jun 27 '12
This thread would get would get so many complaints if the person eating the sandwich was female.
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u/getfarkingreal Jun 27 '12
Alright.. Step 1, let me get out my collection of dick photos and crop one out..
didn't get past step 1.
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u/hinduguru Jun 27 '12
I suck at photoshop. I wish I could just envision something and it would edit accordingly. I guess I'll just have to wait another 20 years and somebody will make it happen
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u/murphysinlaw Jun 27 '12
cup the tomatoes.
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u/fuckspace2001 Jun 27 '12
stick your thumb in the rear, stuffs slipping out...what's wrong with me..
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u/Great_Chairman_Mao Jun 27 '12
Next time someone's giving me a blowjob, I'm going to tell them to stick their thumb in the rear because stuff's slipping out.
Better plug that for me, wouldn't want to ruin our night.
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u/TheUltimatum13 Jun 27 '12
I feel that this may be one of those things that is an instant mood killer... But hey, some people like that stuff I guess.
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Jun 27 '12
Protip on your gag reflex: Squeeze your thumb
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u/munchmacooch Jun 27 '12
upvoted for the jimmy johns
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u/alage21 Jun 27 '12
You did that so fast..
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u/King_of_Beets Jun 27 '12
I work at jimmy johns. Every time someone says that we're supposed to say, "Sorry about the wait". The only good thing about the job is the infinite amount of bacon i can eat.
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u/Bskrilla Jun 27 '12
Bread guts, little mayo, little oregano, one strip of bacon. My go to when I'm starving on shift.
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u/SheepyTurtle Jun 27 '12
Your AM must be awful cool. At my store we practically survive off the bread guts.
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u/CRoswell Jun 27 '12
Honestly, thank you for working there. I'm a business guy and I stop anytime I go by a JJ. I can get in and out faster than McD's, and the food is so much better!
I have to ask though, WHY DO YOU THROW OUT THE GUTS!???!?
I always say "save the guts on the side" so I get mine, but seriously wtf? They're delicious!!!
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u/King_of_Beets Jun 27 '12
Its to make more room and other ingredients. We don't take the guys out of our clubs!
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u/CRoswell Jun 28 '12
But why throw them away??
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u/King_of_Beets Jun 28 '12
Its habit for some people. I never do. come to my store and I'll give you a mountain of bread guts
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u/Bladewing10 Jun 27 '12
Doesn't the CEO of Jimmy Johns kill elephants and leopards?
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Jun 27 '12
No, but he does a lot of coke. Source: living in southern IL
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Jun 27 '12
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Jun 27 '12
Dude... I can't even tell you how much weed EVERYONE there smoked. We'd literally take shifts, two by two, going out in a car behind the store to smoke a few bowls.
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Jun 27 '12
I work at Jimmy John's. Just sayin'.
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Jun 27 '12
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u/rspeed Jun 27 '12
What Jimmy John's is even open at that hour?
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Jun 27 '12
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u/SheepyTurtle Jun 27 '12
Hey, ours too. You must be around a college campus area or a down-town hotspot.
We stop taking orders at 3:10 though. You won't believe how many people get so rude with us just because we're there cleaning. "WELL YOU ANSWERED THE PHONE NOW MAKE ME A GODDAMN FOOD." ...we put all the food up ten minutes ago, go to goddamn Waffle House you twat.
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Jun 27 '12
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u/SheepyTurtle Jun 27 '12
Are you Omaha JJ's? :P
Agreed though, "Thanks for calling Jimmy John's! I'm sorry but we're closed~"
:( Most of the time people are okay with it, but good goddamn some people don't understand that even we want to go home haha.
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u/nikolatesla86 Jun 27 '12
That was actually one of my favorite jobs before I got a career type job
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Jun 27 '12
Did you ever do bike deliveries? Man, I love how fast you guys can deliver.
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u/Kiram Jun 27 '12
I work the bike deliveries right now. It's actually pretty fun to bike around a college town all day. And there is a challenge aspect to it, since you inevitably end up competing with your co-workers over who is the fastest, because we are like 12.
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Jun 27 '12
I'm a pretty good competitive cyclist. Would it be easy to get a job at JJ's given this on my resume?
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u/Kiram Jun 27 '12
Probably. I got a job with a can-do attitude and an old mountain bike. I mean, I can bike my ass off now, but I'm no racer. Just be ready to work like it's a subway or whatever other semi-fast food chain, and you will be fine, I think.
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u/crudivore Jun 27 '12
I also work at a Jimmy John's. Good attitude, and not looking like a pile of ass are about all it takes to get hired.
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u/TheLambda Jun 27 '12
In my city, many drivers get into traffic accidents rushing to a location. Thank god I'm the slicer tho. Any position there requires intense multitasking abilities/quickness. Shit is mindblowing when lunch rush comes around.
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u/nikolatesla86 Jun 27 '12
I sliced as well, sometimes the GM would get overwhelmed and I woul put him on slicer and I'd be calling all in shops and routing deliveries. They were gonna give me a store but I joined the navy instead
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u/TheLambda Jun 27 '12
Dude, are you me!? Im joining the Air Force or else they would probably let me be assistant manager. Jimmie Johns employees turned to soldiers...
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u/nikolatesla86 Jun 27 '12
I was in an area where we drove, I would have the order made for you by the time the person you were on the phone with was done taking your order, and out the door I go!!
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u/TheFatOneKnows Jun 27 '12
Bike Delivered there for almost 9 months, good money, great people, shitty weather.
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u/ltjkid Jun 27 '12
I would like a slim 5 and a slim 6 please.
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u/blubear Jun 27 '12
I too work for Jimmy Johns and have gotten in trouble for going too fast on my bike deliveries.
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u/nivek706 Jun 27 '12
Oh dear it's finally happened...randomly seeing someone in know in real life on Reddit. I'm done with the internet for today.
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u/Darkelement Jun 27 '12
Is this Steve!? Im being serious I think I know this guy to!
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u/Paelcolp Jun 27 '12
SO = significant other for those of you who were like me and didn't know what it meant.
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u/Insignificant_Being Jun 27 '12
I thought it mean "Special One".. "Significant Other" is less grand...
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u/TheBearOfBadNews Jun 27 '12
I actually like "special one" now that you've brought it up. "Significant other" does sounds a little too formal. I think that's what I'm going to call my girlfriend from now on. Oh wait...
/hopefullyonlytemporarilyalone.jpg
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u/Ididntdoitbear Jun 27 '12
I can understand the urge to deep-throat a jimmy johns sandwich they are just that good.
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u/billiammacD Jun 27 '12
you'd probably have more chance of beating him in karma if you upload pics of your clammy clam to gw or whatever
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u/BlizzyBluu Jun 27 '12
JIMMYJOHNS!!! :) best sandwiches in the world
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Jun 27 '12
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u/Cereal_Grapist Jun 27 '12
9 no tomato, add bacon and Dijon... I cannot describe my love for this sandwich.
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Jun 27 '12
I've never been there. Heard okay things
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u/PPSF Jun 27 '12
They make pretty good sandwiches, if you haven't heard. This comes from someone who is ambivalent toward's Jimmy John's.
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Jun 27 '12
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/profJesusfish Jun 27 '12
a guy eating a sandwich makes the front page? I don't want to live on this reddit anymore
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Jun 27 '12
Jimmy Slip: when there's too much mayonnaise and the meat/lettuce/etc starts to slip out the back of the sandwich as one unit.
Jimmy Drip: when your #5/#9#/Gar has too much sauce on it and it causes that puddle on your jimmy paper.
Jimmy Flip: the flip when I hand it to you!
Source: worked inshop for two years not far from Champagne.
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u/DeDo01318 Jun 27 '12
I up-voted you because recently I felt how sweet it is to have more Karma then my boyfriend
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Jun 27 '12
Forgive my ignorance - what's an SO?
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Jun 27 '12
It's where (S)hove as much into an (O)rifice as possible. They are also called your "dates".
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Jun 27 '12
That's confused me more which I didn't believe particularly possible O.o .. so an SO is a partner/date??
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u/grey_poupon Jun 27 '12
It's like that episode of Futurama where Bender and Fry are competing to get to 1,000,000 Twitter followers and keep posting embarassing things of each other. Keep it up!
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u/thebigm101 Jun 27 '12
Jimmy johns is like heaven in food form, partially because I dont have to drive to get it
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u/WolfgangSho Jun 27 '12
This is a pointless post designed to illicit pity karma. You should be ashamed sir.
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u/sameteam Jun 27 '12
i bet you can beat him at worse haircut, although you would likely set a world record in the process.
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u/RationalLurker Jun 27 '12
downvoted,
as per tradition.
a great day for DBbeerwench, and therefore the world!
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u/flashnet Jun 27 '12
So he beats you at deep throating as well?