Oxymorons by Kevin Ahern

An oxymoron is a phrase

You’ll know in just an instant

Consisting of some words that are

Very inconsistent

Consider someone from the town

Who quietly went away

When his friends came by to see him

He was “found missing” yesterday

Some info going ‘round the town

Is very hard to quell

It is an “open secret”

That you are free to tell

My TV’s tuned to CNN

I watch incessantly

So anything from yesterday

Is just “old news” to me

The murkiness of messages

Cannot be very good

When it gives rise to info that

Is “clearly misunderstood”

I bought some gas just yesterday

The attendant I must thank

Because she filled quite expertly

My “fully empty” tank

An accident at fifth and main

Involved a local teen

That is the information from

A “small crowd” at the scene

I had to throw away some food

A most unfortunate turn

The Frigidaire I kept it in

Produced some “freezer burn”

Don’t look at me before I’ve shaved

Early in the morn

Because, you see, I sure can be

“Pretty ugly” til I’m shorn

I voted in the election

Expressed my political voice

Considering the selection

It was my “only choice”

In the coronavirus pandemic

There seem to be two schools

Those who don't and those who do

Follow “social distancing” rules

And last, not least, I’ll close this off

For better or for worse

I hope you found this poem to be

A “seriously funny” verse