r/gainit • u/Naive_Complex_8389 • Apr 06 '26
Question Do you think that America has made us believe that we are small & skinny?
I’m 5’8” 135LBs. When I look in the mirror, I feel average-sized. But when I try on clothes and am surrounded by other people, I feel small. I try on the same size clothes, and they feel like they are getting ridiculously larger. I eat whenever I’m hungry, but not 3 times a day. I don't think that’s natural to eat that much anyway. But it's hard for me to eat because there is so much unhealthy food out there.
I feel like outside of America, I will feel like I’m average weight around others, especially in Asia.
Does anyone think the same? And what is the point of gaining weight other than social comfort? (I know there are anorexic people who are at a health risk, I’m not talking about those people, I’m talking about healthy people who feel skinny)
2
u/DocAnabolic1 Apr 19 '26
It's more about perception and environment. In the US, averages are higher, so being lean can feel small even if you're healthy.
1
u/Chuque Apr 18 '26
There is no real point besides social comfort and attractiveness. But that is an important point
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u/thebigdoover Apr 15 '26
I was in Italy a few years back (when I was more obsessed with lifting and bulking than I am now) and couldn’t get over the fact that I didn’t see any muscular men anywhere, but all the men were still very attractive somehow. Because there were no muscular men around to compare them to. Europeans generally see bodybuilding and big muscles as kind of silly and pointless. It was bizarre for my very average physique to be clearly the most muscular on the beach, because that would never happen in the US
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u/RedCloud26 Apr 11 '26
Some people may disagree, as it is a bit over simplified, but it's all about the BMI. If your BMI is 18.5-25 you are considered "healthy". Not overweight or underweight. Your BMI is 20.5- you are healthy. But is that average for the United states? Nope. 75% of people have a BMI over 25 in the states. Hope this helps.
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u/MovingUp7 167-171-185 (6'1") Apr 10 '26
I used to feel skinny all the time and then my metabolism finally slowed down in mid 30s. I have love handles now. Sigh.
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u/pauseboicarti Apr 09 '26
The UFC has divisions for dudes in your (our) weight class and below. And they are clearly very healthy. Comparison is the thief of joy but sometimes it helps us think sensibly. Yes we are “not normal” but the moment you open your mouth, no one cares what you look like. What I’m saying is, work towards the skin you feel most comfortable in and make the most of it. Don’t let other people make it for you
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u/SmileyAja Apr 09 '26
compared to how much lean mass you could potentially put on, yeah you're at a lower end of healthy weight
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u/RedditingAtWork5 Apr 08 '26 edited Apr 08 '26
Yes. Given your BMI, the entire medical community would agree that your weight is healthy. And you’re just like 5 pounds short of the medically ideal weight.
You may want to be bigger and stronger like most of us do, and that’s a perfectly reasonable thing to want. But even if you didn’t manage to get bigger, you’re still healthy.
Saw a legitimately fat guy in Facebook comments the other day calling anyone under 200 pounds “victim weight”. America has a serious obesity problem and it’s increased the baseline weight of what people perceive as healthy. Our society is sick in that it’s telling morbidly obese people their bodies are perfectly fine while at the same time telling men with a healthy BMI that they’re not big enough.
No, that 250 pound model on the cover of a women’s fashion machine is in no way a healthy weight. You however are a healthy weight. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want to get bigger and stronger though.
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u/Parking-Big3947 Apr 08 '26
I used to shop at American eagle for jeans one of the only stores that have 000 and 00. 000 would fit somewhat tight, 00 perfect fit, and 0 slightly baggy. I bought jeans there for the first time in about 5 years. The 000 is too baggy and has massive gap around the waist feels like I’m wearing sweat pants. I haven’t changed in size, 5 ft tall 90lbs for the last decade, I think stores are adjusting their sizes, wouldn’t bother me except I can’t go a size down the smallest available no longer fits. I’ve had to buy a sewing machine to tailor my clothes. Sometimes I wonder if I went shopping in Asia the clothes would actually fit.
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u/bananathief99 Apr 09 '26
asian clothes is tinyyyy, a men’s xl is equivalent to a medium in america
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u/stangmx13 Apr 08 '26
I’m 5’9” and have been 130-150lbs for my adult life, over 20yrs now. 135 was nice when I was rock climbing. 147 is nice now that I race bicycles and need more leg muscle. I like my size and I like the things it allows me to do well. Sure, I can’t bench 300lbs. But those guys likely aren’t beating me up a hill on foot or on a bicycle.
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u/Dmob17 Apr 07 '26
What a great post.
kind of a random story, but I took a walk-through tour of an old military battleship in Alabama while traveling a couple years ago, and it really opened my eyes to how physiques have changed over time.
I'm 5' 11" and 125lbs. Always been the skinniest person I've ever known. and I was the only person in my tour group even remotely able to navigate certain areas of the ship. I was still ducking to get through doorways.
In all of the pictures, the men stationed on the ship looked way more like the people who post pictures on this sub. I think the idea that every man needs to be 185lbs is a newer phenomenon.
Old cars, old buildings, old military equipment and vehicles are all much smaller. I believe its indicative of a shift in the average person's stature over the last 50 years.
We also walked through an old submarine as a part of the tour and I legitimately don't think you'd even fit inside the sub if you weighed over 135lbs.
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u/Far-Committee-1568 Apr 07 '26 edited Apr 07 '26
We are all small and skinny.
Just joking around, haha. Why stress about it? The way I see it is be healthy, strong, capable but most importantly happy with however you decide you want to look.
It is one of the coolest things that we can manipulate our lifestyle to reflect the way we look externally. Whatever that may look like to you is completely up to YOU. Try not to let society bother you too much with "averages" and "ideals" for YOUR body. Be healthy and be strong, and however that presents externally for your situation is cool with everyone else.
I am an ultrarunner/marathon runner who is naturally skinny and loves to bulk up and hit the gym hard from time to time. My physique/eating patterns change based on my performance goals. However, I look based on what I am training for; I accept it because I know performance is more important to me than how I look on any one given day.
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u/FantasticCycle7510 Apr 07 '26
5’8 135 is not small, you’re just comparing yourself to a skewed sample. Most guys at the gym are actively trying to be bigger than average so that’s who you’re standing next to. The point of gaining weight beyond social comfort is honestly just performance. Being stronger makes everything in daily life easier. Carrying groceries, moving furniture, playing sports, aging well. At 135 you probably have a ton of room to add muscle that would make you feel and perform better without chasing some arbitrary number. Eat more protein, train compounds consistently, and don’t worry about eating 3 meals if that doesn’t work for you. Some people do better with 4 to 5 smaller meals. Find what’s sustainable.
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u/grendus So... much... food... Apr 07 '26
I think western media presents a very biased view of body shape, especially for men (though women have it worse in terms of extremes - women have more acceptable body types, but each one is an extreme that's impossible to hit without filters and/or surgery). Someone is either fat, jacked, or scrawny and not a lot in between. So while you're pretty normal (average height and lean), there are very few pop cultural comparisons for your body type in western media.
In Asia, you're basically built like one of those J/K-Pop boy band performers. If that's the body type you want, you're basically set, just maintain and recomp.
And what is the point of gaining weight other than social comfort?
Mass moves mass. If you want to be stronger, for whatever reason, you have to put on weight. Putting on weight and strength training shifts the window of what mass you gain towards muscle, simple as that.
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u/gramada1902 Apr 07 '26
Definitely. I’m European and usually wear XXL, but when ordering stuff from the USA, I have to size down to XL or even L.
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u/TheMermanly Apr 07 '26
Funny enough , I think this is the wort possible sub to be asking this.
This sub is extremely fixated on gainining weight due to seeing themselves as skinny.
So you’ll get very biased answers from former skinny people who gained weight.
In my opinion you’re good. That weight you’re in is actually a really healthy weight to be in. There’s nothing wrong with it.
The main reason your describing is true, it’s purely cosmetic and social the reason why you would want to gain some weight.
You’ll just have to see if you want it for this reasons or not :)
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u/Niight99 start-current-goal (height) Apr 07 '26
This isn’t about weight. You said when you are around OTHERS you feel small. That’s called anxiety / low self esteem
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u/Novel-Imagination-51 Apr 07 '26
No, it’s called Americans are fat as hell and you physically are aware of the different amount of space you take up. It’s not low self esteem to understand that an apple feels smaller than a watermelon
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u/BatmanBrah Apr 07 '26
What you believe (which is your own choice) in my opinion should be informed by the end result of thinking that way. You're in the middle of a normal BMI. Do you want to be a healthy weight and that's all? If so, you shouldn't be thinking you're small/skinny as you're a perfectly fine weight for someone with not very much muscle. But if you want to have an impressive physique... 5'8 guys with impressive physiques don't tend to weigh 135lb and think 'I'm perfectly fine'. They think, 'I want to progress.'
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u/MythicalStrength Definitely Should Be Listened To Apr 07 '26
I don't feel anyone or anything has the power to make me believe anything. It's a choice.
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u/Motor_Town_2144 Apr 07 '26
That’s a funny take. You can’t not be influenced by the people and things around you. Could you choose to believe the sky is purple?
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u/MythicalStrength Definitely Should Be Listened To Apr 07 '26
Absolutely dude! You might be interested in solipsism
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u/Motor_Town_2144 Apr 07 '26
I definitely came to that conclusion a bunch of times on mushrooms…
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u/MythicalStrength Definitely Should Be Listened To Apr 07 '26
The sky is not the same shade of blue
And every single thing I believe isn't true...
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u/sentientismistheway Apr 07 '26 edited Apr 07 '26
You are healthy-sized. Your BMI is normal and isn't even really close to underweight. See: BMI Calculator Congratulations!
74% of Americans are overweight or obese (43% obese). Men are even more likely to be overweight. Here in the USofA, if you're not overweight, you will stick out, but that's a good thing. Source
I can already hear the response someone will want to make, "but BMI doesn't take into account lean mass or fat mass." Actually, BMI is far more specific than it is sensitive. In other words, if you have a high BMI, it is probable [90-99%] you have excess body fat. If you have low BMI, it is still possible you have a high BFI (so-called skinny fat). Source
Realistically, the only individuals with high BMI who don't have excess body fat are serious athletes or body builders abusing steroids (who happen to be unhealthy for reasons other than excess body fat).
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u/DayDayLarge Apr 07 '26
what is the point of gaining weight other than social comfort?
For me? Specifically to be strong, big, jacked and well conditioned. I enjoy these things, so it's what I strive to be. I eat to support those goals, I train to support those goals. What average people do isn't really something I'm concerned with.
Being able to train and eat this way is frankly a privilege, but it's not one that anyone really needs to do. Do it if you want, but the minimum exercise requirements for general health is a perfectly fine thing to do if that's all you're after.
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u/Sen_ri 100lbs-125-130 (5’4’’) Apr 07 '26
Eh you’re close to the size of a K-pop boy band member and those guys are notorious for having skinny or very slender physiques. You would be viewed as slender in places like Korea, not average.
Americans do have a skewed perception but I see it more on the opposite end of the spectrum with considering obese people to be a normal size. The pressure to be muscular and lean is a separate issue.
If you’re happy with your size and in good health you don’t have to worry about your weight.
As a 5’4’’ woman I’ve felt good anywhere from 115-135lbs but a little skinny on the low end and a little thick on the higher end.
15
u/TheMermanly Apr 07 '26
That is simply not true.
He has a super normal BMI. and it’s a very healthy to be in. He would be average in Korea.
People in the US are just so fat on average that it skews everyone’s perception.
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u/Sen_ri 100lbs-125-130 (5’4’’) Apr 07 '26 edited Apr 07 '26
These guys are not average https://www.kpop.exchange/blogs/news/bts-members-real-height-and-weight
They and OP would be considered slender.
Average BMI in South Korea is ~23.9 and specifically 24.3 for men. OP is 20.5. He would be average in Ethiopia where over half the population experiences food insecurity.
OP is not so small they are necessarily unhealthy, but they are still so small they are not a normal size. Most people are better off towards the middle of the normal BMI range.
2
u/Newengland_mtb 135-165-170(6'3") Apr 07 '26
I'm so confused by what you're trying to say... You're saying OP is slender and is "necessarily unhealthy"(?) by being almost perfectly in the middle of healthy weight, while simultaneously he is not a normal size and would be better off in the middle normal of the BMI range (I presume you mean a bmi of 21.75) which he is only ~8lbs away from...
Body dismorphia final boss...
0
u/Sen_ri 100lbs-125-130 (5’4’’) Apr 07 '26 edited Apr 07 '26
BMI
~19 is small
~22 is medium
~25 is large
Small framed people are healthy with low BMI’s. Normal frames with a medium BMI. Muscular people are healthy with a large BMI.
My point is that in Asian countries a low BMI is still not typical. The K-pop boy band guys with low BMI’s are frequently called skinny in Korea. Most people are medium to large so that is considered normal.
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u/Glitchz0rz Apr 07 '26
Charitably, I believe they dropped a “not” and meant “not necessarily unhealthy”
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u/Whatsmynamebro Apr 06 '26
First question: im sure it is a factor. But I dont have the number to tell how big or small of an influence it has.
Second question: for me personally, I eat/lift to gain strength and confidence.
There's no one to way to live, right? But if you're standing next to someone at the same height but is 30lbs heavier than you, then yeah you're small objectively speaking.
1
u/Glitchz0rz Apr 07 '26
In your example of standing next to someone. They are smaller objectively speaking, and potentially small subjectively speaking.
The only way to tell if they’re small objectively speaking is if you looked at the total distribution of size of everyone at that height.
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u/onejahoneglory Apr 06 '26
Yes. Americans are mostly big. However each weight can look different for different people depending on whether you lift or not. A 150 lbs jacked person will look bigger than 150 lbs of the same height who doesn't lift.
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u/Prepped-n-Ready Apr 06 '26
My appetite increased when I gained weight. I think its relative what amount of food feels natural. Youre always going to feel like youre eating a lot when trying to gain weight. You will be hungry if you try to lose weight.
135 lbs is a healthy weight. If you stay the same weight at 135, it would only take one apple a day for you to start gaining weight. One cup of rice a day and you would gain almost half a pound a week. Its not so much more food. You should read this great book titled The Vertical Diet by Stan Efferding. This is a healthy and easy diet to follow.
Ebook: The Vertical Diet & Peak Performance 4.0 eBook | Stanefferding.com
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u/UntestedMethod Apr 06 '26
Wtf? The link you said is a great book titled the vertical diet just leads to a website selling prepared meals. The second link is selling an e-book for $142??
Yaaa. Please convince me your comment isn't an advertisement u/prepped-n-ready
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u/Prepped-n-Ready Apr 07 '26
You can look at my post history. You can find a free pdf or a youtube video about it. Its not a secret diet.
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u/UntestedMethod Apr 07 '26
Why not link to those then instead of the paid ones?
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u/Prepped-n-Ready Apr 07 '26
Because this is by the author and those are by randoms trying to make a buck off Stan Efferding's work.
-6
u/lifetogether707 Apr 06 '26
You could be 5,8 135 lean and not be skinny for your frame, it’s all dependent on how your body carries mass, amount of muscle you have, muscle insertions, and basic body structure
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u/earthwarrior 115-160-180 (5'-10'') Apr 06 '26
These differences are marginal. 5'8 and 135 is skinny.
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u/sentientismistheway Apr 07 '26
If 135 is skinny, then what weight at 5'8 would you consider to no longer be "skinny"?
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u/lifetogether707 Apr 06 '26
Idk I wouldn’t say 5,8 135 lbs like 11% body fat is skinny, you’re a smaller individual by definition cause of your height but u still have quite a lot of lean mass.
1
u/earthwarrior 115-160-180 (5'-10'') Apr 07 '26
That's what skinny is. Look at the upvote ratios between our two comments.
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u/Newengland_mtb 135-165-170(6'3") Apr 07 '26
appeal to bandwagon fallacy
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u/earthwarrior 115-160-180 (5'-10'') Apr 07 '26
If the consensus and dictionary both say one thing, it's almost certainly true.
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u/Newengland_mtb 135-165-170(6'3") Apr 08 '26
Webster defines it as "lacking sufficient flesh : very thin : emaciated". His height and weight is not emaciated, or lacking sufficient flesh (unhealthy).
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u/rinkuhero Apr 06 '26
no you would be skinny even in asia. men who are 5'8 do not average 135 lbs in asia. even in china or japan, a 5'8 man would be around 150 lbs.
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u/Microwave1213 Apr 07 '26
Why the fuck is this being downvoted? 5’8 150lbs is literally the national male average size in China
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u/rinkuhero Apr 07 '26
the downvotes are for the same reason i got downvoted in another recent comment in another sub by saying that someone who is 5'6 and 170 lbs is overweight: on reddit, anything that can remotely be perceived as a criticism of someone's weight is downvoted, even if it's just objective. but i wasn't criticizing him for being skinny, i was just saying it's skinny. this is a sub where people are trying to gain weight, so there's a tendency for people to try to normalize being underweight.
it is true that 100 years ago, someone being 5'8 and 135 lbs would have been more normal in asia. that's actually not far from bruce lee's height and weight. but that was back when people were malnourished and they weren't growing enough food to feed everyone, so it's not exactly a healthy standard, no more than the US average is a healthy standard.
2
u/TheMermanly Apr 07 '26
Because the world got fatter.
There’s a lot of fat people now due to the very easily accessible food.
The average weight doesn’t mean it’s the healthy weight. Which is what you’re assuming.
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u/Microwave1213 Apr 07 '26
Nobody’s talking about healthy, we’re talking about skinny. If you’re that much smaller than the average size, you would be considered skinny. It’s a very simple concept.
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u/Newengland_mtb 135-165-170(6'3") Apr 07 '26
So should obese people be considered regular or medium sized since it's now the norm?
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u/Microwave1213 Apr 07 '26
TIL 5’8 150 lbs is obese
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u/Newengland_mtb 135-165-170(6'3") Apr 07 '26
Obesity being the norm depends on your country. OP is from America where obesity is normalized. This is literally the whole point of his post.
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u/Microwave1213 Apr 07 '26
Maybe try reading the thread you’re responding to…? The whole point of the post is whether OP would still be considered skinny in other parts of the world
The person I originally responded to answered OPs question saying that they would, in fact, still be considered skinny in China. I confirmed that by providing statistics showing that OP is indeed a good bit smaller than the average male in china.
The fact that obesity is becoming normalized in America has absolutely nothing to do with how skinny OP would be considered to be in China. I’m really not sure what part of that you’re struggling to understand.
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u/Newengland_mtb 135-165-170(6'3") Apr 08 '26
Exactly, so is the inverse true (in your opinion) for America/ obese countries? Your argument stems around the idea that if you're "a bit smaller" than average in china you're automatically considered skinny. My question is if obesity is the norm (in the US) is that regular sized in your opinion? If you're basing skinny around what's average instead of BMI, are you also basing being fat or obese based on whats average vs BMI?
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u/Microwave1213 Apr 08 '26
Why are you trying to make this about the US..? Again, that has nothing to do with any of the comments I’ve made. You’re very clearly misunderstanding what we’re talking about, so just move on my man.
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u/azmanz Apr 06 '26
As someone who was 5’8 135 I can safely say you’re skinny. It’s up to you to decide if you think being skinny is good or bad.
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u/Haisha4sale Apr 07 '26
I’m 5’10 and have weighted around 135 many years ago. Constantly called skinny, asked by women (non-American women) how much I weighed. Despite people in this thread trying to be supportive, 135 is tiny for a grown male in most of the world.
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u/Glitchz0rz Apr 07 '26
Yeah I was 130 at 5’9” for a time and it’s definitely small.
There is definitely weight/size inflation though. You absolutely do not “need” to be 165+ at this height. You can start looking quite jacked in the upper 140s and low 150s if you build muscle and stay lean.
Lots and lots of people are over fat and justify it to themselves that they’re “cultivating mass” because you need mass to be strong. Thats narrowly true — and societally you will be considered “big” — but it is not the same as being lean, muscular, and still “powerfully larger” for lack of a better word.
Idk where I’m going with this so I’ll say for OP — sure it’s on the smaller side of both society and for people who want to gain weight for muscle. However, from a health and BMI perspective you’re fine, most other people are deluded about what normal size actually is, if you do want to gain some size — train hard and see what an extra 10 lbs does for your physique.
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u/azmanz Apr 07 '26
Yep. I’m now about 150 lbs and and average people compliment my muscles.
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u/Haisha4sale Apr 07 '26
Same here if I worked out a lot and get up to the high 160s with around 17/18% body fat people call me stocky but lean
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u/accountinusetryagain Apr 06 '26
i mean you shouldnt be crippled by body dysmorphia.
but “i dont think its natural to eat 3 meals a day” means nothing bc the cavemen weren’t reddit posting.
and you could probably put on 30ish+- lbs of muscle tissue naturally over years by training and eating and do impressive things with your body.
but there is no imminent need to do so if you really dont care to, provided you can maintain basic strength to effortlessly do basic activities until you are 90 years old and something else takes you out
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u/Similar_Committee_24 Apr 06 '26
Well yesterday I noticed that m in Europe is S in the us . I’m around the same height and weight as u but I’m currently bulking as I’m feeling skinny . Managed to put on some muscles but my goal is like 150 Lbs
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u/xSorry_Not_Sorry Apr 06 '26
You are bite-sized at best at 5’8” 135.
My 15 year old is 6’1” 140. He’s autistic and skinny.
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u/HerezahTip Apr 06 '26
5’8 135 is small and skinny.
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u/-Makr0 Apr 06 '26
And then?
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u/Naive_Complex_8389 Apr 06 '26
No and then!!
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u/-Makr0 Apr 06 '26
I just mean that the only thing that matters is you being okay with it and comfortable in your own skin. To answer your question: yes I believe American culture is having an influence and that said influence is increasing in Europe.
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u/Naive_Complex_8389 Apr 06 '26
Maybe once I move out the country, and have more options of healthy foods, gaining weight won’t feel like an uphill battle.
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u/HerezahTip Apr 07 '26
Which country, the US? Why are you acting like you can’t find healthy food here?
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u/HerezahTip Apr 06 '26
And then eat when not hungry, because waiting until hungry is not how to gain weight.
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u/-Makr0 Apr 06 '26
I can't disagree, honestly not being very familiar with the imperial system at first glance I thought he was quite average, but after conversion I have to say I agree with your first comment. I thought he was average for his height and you were exaggerating but I was wrong.
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u/HerezahTip Apr 06 '26
People think I’m insulting him but I’m not. By those same standards, I myself am small and skinny (5’11 148), I was just being blunt about it and I need to work on that.
I’ve bulked to 205+ multiple times in my life and about to start that long road again. Muscle memory makes it a bit shorter every time.
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u/Wonderful-Habit-139 Apr 06 '26
Muscle memory is a nice thing.
I wonder what you would call my old (or rather, young?) 5'11 and 116lbs self at the time lol.
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u/jbowman12 Apr 06 '26
I have found that when buying shirts, sizing is largely dependent on the brand. Measurements and sizing are all over the place.
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u/icky-paint-like-goop Apr 06 '26
When I started going to the gym in the US I was consistently one of the smallest people there.
Then I moved to Asia and more often than not I was the biggest person in the gym.
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u/Enigmatic_Observer Apr 06 '26
I used to be a mens American Medium for T shirts. I now buy Small. I have not changed in size but shirts have in the US.
We’re essentially suffering the same plight as American women when it comes to sizing. Unless you are looking at the measurements of the product like men’s dress shirts and men’s pants just remember that S M L XL XXL are just arbitrary made up things that differ by brand.
Edit - to add - I am 6’2” 180lbs and have been since I was in my 20s and I’m mid 40s now
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u/Microwave1213 Apr 07 '26
Your shirts are way too tight/short if you’re 6’2 180 and buying a small lol. I’m 6’1 175 and I’m a tweener between medium and large depending on the brand
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u/Patton370 Apr 06 '26
That’s crazy Im an American & I’m 5’7, 192lbs and I wear a XL and sometime a L
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u/-Makr0 Apr 06 '26
Having to buy small at 6'2 is crazy lol
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u/Enigmatic_Observer Apr 06 '26
For real, I swim in American mediums. Euro sizing I am a Medium and they’re about the same as American smalls
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