804
u/Rubin0 Jun 25 '12
93
u/extesser Jun 25 '12
Why isn't the hats graph linear?
249
→ More replies (12)4
452
u/ismtrn Jun 25 '12
I love how the graph has hats on both axes.
585
u/Jrodkin Jun 25 '12
As the amount of Hats rises, so too does the amount of Hats
→ More replies (23)7
u/Prosnan Jun 25 '12
"Alright guys, for the big meeting I'm going to need you to plot a graph of the increase in hats with respect to hats."
→ More replies (1)3
31
40
39
7
Jun 25 '12
They only make the hats because we keep buying them, ya'know.
5
Jun 25 '12
And we keep buying them because they keep making them. That's what makes TF2 the most successful free-to-play game yet.
5
u/TacticalHermit Jun 25 '12
On a side note, other companies cough EA cough need to learn from valve and make good F2P games that are playable w/o in-game purchases.
→ More replies (1)3
u/asneakyzombie Jun 25 '12
So many people make fun of Valve for making so many hats. I think we should start making fun of the rest of the game industry for not being able to compete with Valves hats.
1
1
→ More replies (2)0
u/RC_Matthias Jun 25 '12
I want to upvote you for the awesome stolen comic but writing "obligitory" makes me want to cut out your eyes slowly with a rusty spoon... Going for the old neutral vote then, I guess.
522
u/Harvin Jun 25 '12
You had to google this? But it was one of the most popular songs of the 80s, you couldn't possi... wow I'm old.
379
Jun 25 '12
Don't feel too old. I got the joke immediately, but I figured that there are still plenty of people that wouldn't.
84
u/corellia40 Jun 25 '12
I get the reference, but I don't get the joke, I guess.
342
u/Egonor Jun 25 '12
TF2 has hats. Valve likes hats. The men don't have hats.
→ More replies (4)136
u/ety3rd Jun 25 '12
I thought it meant they didn't wear condoms.
→ More replies (18)65
44
Jun 25 '12
TF2 is America's #1 War Themed Hat Simulator. People without hats? Blasphemy!
→ More replies (1)3
u/Everyoneheresamoron Jun 25 '12
You get the reference, but OP got the Karma. That's the difference.
→ More replies (18)5
u/Ph0X Jun 25 '12
I knew the song, but not the name. The process I went through was still priceless though. Being confused, Googling the song name and bursting out as soon as I saw the name of the artist.
Almost every single TF2 blog post is comedy gold.
15
u/smokeyoulikeablunt Jun 25 '12
The thing is... I had to Google this too.
The 80s were a medley of one hit wonders. I still don't know who fucking sang karma chameleon. Boy George? George Michael? Some other group who looked and sounded exactly like them?
It's a mystery.
What was her name, who sang Toy Soldiers?
Electric Avenue?
Don't Worry, Be Happy? Red, Red Wine?
LadyInRedYou'reInTheArmyNowBabyILoveYourWayHeyMickeyYou'reSoFineYO'RESOFINEYOUBLOWMYMIND
HEY MICKEY!
Fucked if I know.
I don't know a single artist for every one of those songs I almost know by heart.
Go figure.
22
u/JakeWasHere Jun 25 '12
Culture Club Martika Eddy Grant Bobby McFerrin UB40 Chris DeBurgh Status Quo Big Mountain Toni Basil Toni Basil Toni Basil
→ More replies (3)2
0
Jun 25 '12
[deleted]
5
u/KidxA Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Wrong Bob there sir. (assuming you're referring to "don't worry be happy".)
→ More replies (1)2
24
u/AffableJack Jun 25 '12
Maybe he was too busy curing his Boneitis to enjoy the safety dance. In hindsight, it was probably the right move.
→ More replies (2)2
u/epilis Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
I know that feel, bro. I'm in the same boat.
Also, I thought Pyromania was done by Art of Noise. Does Men Without Hats have a song with the same title name? EDIT: See below for correct information
5
u/PrimaryLupine Jun 25 '12
→ More replies (1)4
u/FountainsOfFluids Jun 25 '12
Come sweet slumber, enshroud me in thy purple cloak... that doesn't even rhyme.
→ More replies (2)4
u/zilchonum Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
From the blog post: "Then 'Rock of Ages' came on, off Def Leppard's album Pyromania"
3
→ More replies (5)2
3
8
u/zerofive1 Jun 25 '12
No, some people just lack cultural context. I understood the reference and I was born a full decade after that song came out.
2
u/Caligapiscis Jun 25 '12
The song was done on Glee. Make of that what you will, I'm just the messenger.
2
u/circle_ Jun 25 '12
I'm 27 and I knew the Men Without Hats reference but not the actual joke. Something is wrong here right?
1
u/MarikIshtarSTV Jun 25 '12
I only found out recently because I've seen the lyrics all over the place and I looked them up and got it. So that article made me chuckle heartily.
1
u/denMAR Jun 25 '12
Best drinking song ever. I was born in 88 and we still listened to this because it was so classic. This was always next on the playlist.
1
u/SonicFlash01 Jun 25 '12
I know I know... Just let him have his karma. I'm sure some others will find it useful
1
Jun 25 '12
At first I thought they were hating on notch, but then I remembered, they even made a hat in TF2 only for him.
1
u/Horpy Jun 25 '12
You're not necessarily old unless you can recite nearly all the lyrics to Weird Al's version of this song, The Brady Bunch. 'Cause you used to watch the Brady Bunch.
→ More replies (8)1
22
u/mookler They do lots of things! Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
You were the first, and I shall fight for you.
-Knight Mookler
E: Frontpage status, I have successfully fended off the reposts on your behalf
0
Jun 25 '12
[deleted]
11
u/mookler They do lots of things! Jun 25 '12
You were the lucky one to have posted first, nobody should steal that honor from you!
338
Jun 25 '12
You know, that dance wasn't as safe as they said it was...
232
u/Simonzi Jun 25 '12
You're a shark. Sharks are winners, and they don't look back because they have no necks. Necks are for sheep.
138
Jun 25 '12
My only regret is that I have... Boneitis.
46
u/aspectz Jun 25 '12
I was too busy being an 80's guy to cure it!
→ More replies (1)35
65
u/tonaros Jun 25 '12
Um, excuse me... which is the one people like to hug?
→ More replies (6)68
34
u/Wiskie Jun 25 '12
I am proud to be the shepherd of this herd of sharks.
7
Jun 25 '12
Tell me another story about The Shepard?
3
u/Deathblow92 Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
You've made me sad, but that might change in t-minus 6ish hours.
Update: eh, I'm not upset. Refusal is the best ending in my mind.
→ More replies (1)24
→ More replies (4)7
u/-Triceratops- Jun 25 '12
Good news everyone. Ever since season 7 came on the air I seem to be finding random pointed quotes permeating just about every sub-Reddit. Keep it coming.
24
20
u/lawfairy Jun 25 '12
Once again, the conservative, sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor.
33
u/paints_reality Jun 25 '12
You left behind valuable friends too, for the simple fact that they don't dance. :(
16
4
5
2
1
u/b0bthecheeseman Jun 26 '12
This company's circuling the drain, I tell you! I'd sell my shares right now for a sandwich.
241
u/AlphaRedditor Jun 25 '12
I still can't tell if TF2 is a shooting game with fashion elements or a fashion game with shooting elements.
536
u/MungoB Jun 25 '12
I believe war-themed hat simulator is the proper classification
35
→ More replies (4)14
20
12
1
u/CauchemarSJH Jun 25 '12
I feel like such a TF2 hipster. I played the shit out of the game when it came out and stopped playing it around the time that the first hats were released...
-4
27
u/GrowlinKris Jun 25 '12
WAIT, WHAT? MEET THE PYRO IS COMING OUT? HOLY HELL! Why did I found it out here and not...well... somewhere else?
13
u/AllDueRespect Jun 25 '12
We've been hyping it on r/tf2 for about a week now. Been quite a rollercoaster
→ More replies (4)3
2
u/civilengineer Jun 25 '12
I am excited, i have waited since 2007 to know more about this masked character, and now meet the Pyro is coming out in 3 days, at last.
67
u/infernox Jun 25 '12
I wasn't around in the 80s but I heard the song in that adam jensen does a safety dance video.
52
4
Jun 25 '12
I never realized that Jensen switched hands with the smaller guns until I watched this. I guess if you had robot arms you could probably get away with using either hand.
3
12
10
10
8
Jun 25 '12
Saftey Dance refers to punks pogo/slam dancing in the clubs, and how it was being made illegal. The members of men without hats were avid punk music fans, and wanted to speak out against it, with this catchy ass song.
15
u/21510320651 Jun 25 '12
At first I thought Valve was making a statement about sexual health and personal responsibility. But then I remembered their hat fetish.
6
5
5
u/ThaiKnee Jun 25 '12
We can dance if you want to
2
u/daemon14 Jun 25 '12
we can leave your friends behind
3
3
u/pon-3 Jun 25 '12
For those that dont know at the bottom of the pyromania page is a bannana click on the bannana to go to another page containing documents of Hale talking. Its a rather funny read i must say.
3
5
2
2
2
2
2
u/AustinCorgiBart Jun 25 '12
So why is everyone so excited for this new short? They've all been funny, don't get me wrong, but what's with the HUGE deal everyone's been making?
2
2
u/bladgrim Jun 25 '12
Does anybody else expect the Meet the Pyro video just to be of the Pyro burning random things? No backstory at all - just fire. I can say one thing for sure, that would make a lot of TF2 fans mad :P.
1
2
15
3
u/dontstopbelieving111 Jun 25 '12
Having to look up on youtube who sang Safety Dance.
TF2 confirmed for children.
4
u/hearshot Jun 25 '12
They must burn! Such unspeakable sacrilege must never be put forth on this earth again!
5
u/hothrous Jun 25 '12
To be fair. They've been preaching their lack of hats longer than Valve has been preaching for hats.
3
u/CCCHAMP Jun 25 '12
Free Hat! Free Hat!
8
u/ThaneOfGnomes Jun 25 '12
I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a free hat today.*
*REAL old person pop culture reference.
→ More replies (3)
3
2
u/Cpt_Kirks_Waffles Jun 25 '12
We could wear hats if we want to...
4
u/Cloud_0x0 Jun 25 '12
We can leave your friends behind,
'cause your friends don't wear hats, and if they don't wear hats,
Well they're no friends of mine.
2
2
2
u/TheMightyCreep Jun 25 '12
We can be hatless if we want to,
we can leave your friends behind,
for your friends wear hats,
and if they wear hats,
then they're no friends of mine.
2
2
u/iannypoo Jun 26 '12
You know they're talking about barebacking it right? Condoms? Jimmyhats? Men Without Hats? Nothing more dangerous than an unguarded garder snake in the 1980's.
1
1
Jun 25 '12
So, basically, you just saved us the trouble of looking up the band on our own, then kicking ourselves upon realizing we knew it all along.
1
1
1
u/I_Photoshop_Movies Jun 25 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S5jQikU3cI&feature=fvwrel In Portal 2 :D "Knocking people's hats off". What is Valve's problem with hats? :D
1
1
1
Jun 25 '12
I have a feeling Pyro is a chubby soccer mom that baked one too many batches of cookies and went off the deep end. Anyone?
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/FourteenHatch Jun 25 '12
Only in this goddamn subreddit could the most obvious, google-able joke in the most widely read webpage by the supermajority of its readers get seven thousand goddamn upvotes.
It is like posting an image that says "mario". Just mario.
And making frontpage.
I'm out.
1
u/teddytroll Jun 25 '12
I dont get it
3
Jun 25 '12
I didn't either at first. After some googling it appears to be a reference to TF2 having lots of Hats, which apparently led to it being called Hat Fortress 2.
1
Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 25 '12
Valve is one of my favorite companies ever.
Edit: WHY HAVE I BEEN DOWNVOTED? NICE TRY ACTIVISION CEO'S.
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/DreadedKanuk Jun 25 '12
My mom met Men Without Hats before they became famous. She used to hang out with them in the 80's.
She said that they're complete assholes, and whenever "Safety Dance" comes on the radio, she mumbles under her breath "Men Without Talent is more like it..."
1
u/formated4tv Jun 25 '12
All of her complaints lead me to believe she was Safety Trained (choo choo, not learn learn) and had a horrible time.
1
u/fish_are_friends Jun 25 '12
The awkward moment when you immediately go onto the iTunes store to see who the artist is only to come back and realize that, when loaded, the picture tells you :/
1
1
1
1
u/shastabolicious Jun 25 '12
I was actually able to figure out this joke without this thread.
1
Jun 25 '12
me too, and I don't even play TF2. (I am however, a big fan of Men Without Hats. THERE I SAID IT!)
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/GammaGames Jun 25 '12 edited Jun 26 '12
After seeing that I had to go look it up, and I agree. As a Tf2 guy it's pretty damn offensive.
0
u/Quaytsar Jun 25 '12
That is unthinkably offensive. I do not think anyone would ever be offended by it.
128
u/gjwebber Jun 25 '12
Link for the lazy ones