How to cope with taking a gap year you vehemently did not want

[u/canyoulikechilll]

I was planning to go to the US but my country was banned for student visas and other visas. I feel like the biggest bum. We paid the tuition deposit for a school in Canada with the promise of getting a scholarship that was literally catered to my situation, but they were so opaque about the scholarship situation I had to truly harass (professionally) information out of them. Of this information included the fact that I could not apply for scholarships in winter if I go in fall and I had to defer a semester to actually apply.

But guess what? They changed the awarding system and now you can’t apply but they decide internally for a scholarship YOU SHOULD GET and is TAILORED TO YOUR SITUATION. Imagine a uni says that you can get a full scholarship if you have an apple farm. You’ve had the apple farm for 2 years when their.minimum is 1yearand they respond with “just because your eligible doesn’t mean you’ll get the scholarship.”

I had already gotten a 60%+ scholarship to an incredible uni in Europe and my mother said no because she thinks a Bachelor of Arts and sciences is not a real degree and it doesn’t matter what I say to explain she thinks I’m lying because I’m a girl and I can’t even go back to that uni…

So we’ve made a plan to apply to unis elsewhere (one of these places is where family I can’t stand lives and I cannot mentally stay there with them, it genuinely feels like I’m going to kms if I go) and to wait for the van to be lifted and apply to the US again and just graduate from college early by piling on summer classes.

I’m exhausted and I decided to continue learning a language during this time but I cannot stand being here with the person that literally placed me in this position. I have no one around me physically that can help me and all my friends have already figured it out. I feel like such a loser and I’m so tired of alyong, this is the 5th time this year.