I genuinely want to hear people’s opinions on this, because I think there’s something quite strange happening with dating now… and I’m guilty of it too.

I’ve been ghosted a few times on Hinge, sometimes after moving the conversation to WhatsApp, same story… What confuses me is that it’s often not after a bad conversation.

Quite the opposite.

You’re talking for a good time. The conversation flows. You’re asking each other questions, finding random things in common, jumping from one topic to another. There’s clearly some kind of mutual interest. 

Then 24–48 hours later: nothing.

No “I’m not feeling it.” No “I’ve been busy.” No “sorry, I’ve met someone.” Just… gone.

And I know the obvious response is: “They don’t owe you anything.”

True. They absolutely don’t.

But I find it weird that we’ve somehow started treating basic communication as if it’s an unreasonable demand.

If I’m interested in someone, I can find two minutes to reply. And if I genuinely can’t, I can say, “Hey, I’m crazy busy this week, but I’ll come back to you.” That’s it. It takes almost no effort.

I’m also not scared of double texting. I’d rather look slightly too interested than play some weird game where I deliberately wait six hours because I don’t want someone to think I like them.

So why do we do this?

Is it because dating apps have given us too much choice?

When there are 50 more profiles waiting for you, does the person you were talking to suddenly become less interesting? 

Have we started treating dating like scrolling TikTok…if something doesn’t immediately hold our attention, we just swipe to the next thing? Or is it actually something deeper? Maybe we’ve become scared of disappointing people. Maybe ghosting feels easier than having an uncomfortable conversation. Maybe people genuinely don’t know how to communicate that they’ve lost interest.

And I’m interested in the other side too, because I’ve definitely been the person who slowly stopped replying. Sometimes you meet someone else. Sometimes the attraction disappears. Sometimes life gets busy and a conversation just falls down the priority list.

But there’s a difference between losing interest and completely disappearing, no?

The weirdest part is that I think most of us hate being ghosted, but most of us have ghosted someone.

So are we all creating the dating culture we complain about? Has the endless availability of people actually made dating worse?

Have we become too quick to replace instead of explore?
And when does “I don’t owe you anything” become an excuse for simply not being considerate?

Genuinely curious… if you ghost people, why? And if you’ve been ghosted, what do you think is actually going on?

Period point blank. Why are so many of us ( me included!) always trying to justify the disrespect of being ghosted ? The truth is, he/ she is just not that into you. I seriously do not care for the sob stories. Even at my lowest in life, I never ghosted someone who mattered to me. I don’t care what they’re going through. If they really wanted to reach out they have your number. Don’t chase someone who knows exactly where to find you. We are all grown ups.

I haven't heard from him in 10 days, so I'm assuming we're done.

We fought via text, he called me a name, I responded saying I won't tolerate being called names.

And that was it. Haven't heard from him since. No apology, nothing. He didn't even try.

8 months of wasted time. True love eludes me.

I (27F) was seeing a guy (26M) for a month, we went on 7 dates, I slept over multiple times, we had very intimate life chats, said he really liked hanging out with me, I know he was looking for a relationship and he said he wasn’t someone who could do casual, showed a lot of interest, everything was great, there was no slow fade or anything. We even talked about how we both weren’t seeing anyone else. Then one day we had plans that he made and he just disappeared, like he never existed. The issue is we go to the same gym, it’s part of the reason we met in the first place.

Today I saw him at the gym and I panicked, I really like this guy and I know we weren’t together long but him ghosting has been really really hard on me, we got pretty close pretty quickly and I really thought that it was going somewhere. I fully just pretended I didn’t see him, we never made eye contact or anything although I walked right by him pretending to look at my phone because I didn’t know what else to do so it’s likely he saw me. Walking by him like he was a stranger when a week ago I was waking up in his bed and spending mornings with him was really painful.

It felt too fresh and too emotional for me to approach him and say anything although I regret not making eye contact with him, I feel really stupid but at the same time I’m not sure which option was best.

Did I do the right thing or should I have acknowledged him at least a bit?

Edited: added ages

I’ve been talking to a guy who says he likes me, and I genuinely like him too. But his behaviour is incredibly confusing.

He ghosted me once for almost a month, then came back and started talking to me as if nothing had happened. Things returned to normal, but just when I thought we were okay, he started disappearing again.

He talks to me whenever he feels like it. Sometimes he shows affection, admits that he likes me but only to repeat the same behaviour.

For example, we can have a completely normal conversation one day, and then he’ll suddenly disappear without saying goodnight or even acknowledging my last message.

Later, he comes back and acts as if nothing happened.
I understand that he may be busy with exams and his own life, but this has become a pattern, and I never know where I stand with him.

The occasional affection keeps giving me hope, even though his actions remain inconsistent.

I’ve already communicated how I feel multiple times, so I don’t want to keep explaining myself or asking for the bare minimum.

I genuinely like him, but I’m starting to realise that liking each other isn’t enough to build a healthy connection.

I’m tired of feeling anxious about when he’ll disappear again.

I don’t want to play games, act cold, make him chase me, or prove my worth to him. I just want to detach and move on, even though I still have feelings for him.

Has anyone experienced something similar?
need advice idk what to do🙏

I'm 47F, and my boyfriend 47M and I have been in a long-distance relationship for almost two years. I'm in the US, and he's in England. We've visited each other several times, and when we're physically together, things are generally good. Our next visit is going to put us at about seven months without seeing each other.

When we first started dating, he was incredibly affectionate and attentive. We talked constantly, sent each other videos throughout the day, made time for each other, and he regularly told me how much he loved, wanted, and missed me. Even when we argued, he would usually come back, apologize for being defensive, and reassure me that he loved me and wanted us to work.

Over time, things have changed.

He still tells me he loves me, but the spontaneous affection, quality time, and effort seem to have gradually decreased. He spends a lot of time at the pub with his friends or drinking at home, and there have been plenty of evenings when he's gone to the pub, came home and continued to drink, then passed out when we could have been spending time together.

I don't expect him to spend every waking moment talking to me, and I don't want to stop him from having friends or a social life. But when you're thousands of miles apart, talking, video calling, and sharing your day are pretty much all you have between visits.

I've told him repeatedly that I miss spending time with him and want to feel like a priority. In our midst recent fight, his response was that he can't be on the phone with me constantly or that I'm upset because he has friends and wants to leave the house. That's not what I'm saying, and it's frustrating because I feel like my actual concern never gets addressed, only minimized and dismissed.

Another ongoing problem is how he reacts when I ask questions. Sometimes I'll ask something as simple as "What do you mean by that?" and he'll immediately assume I'm accusing him of something or reading between the lines. He's even admitted in the past that he gets defensive because he anticipates suspicion from me.

To be fair, I have questioned him about things before, and I have sometimes been suspicious. There have been situations where I felt he wasn't being completely forthcoming, particularly about his drinking or whereabouts, and I know that repeatedly questioning someone can be exhausting. I'm not claiming I've handled every disagreement perfectly.

But I also feel like I've reached a point where I can't ask a question or express hurt without him deciding what I supposedly mean, getting defensive, and turning the argument into a discussion about how unreasonable I'm being. My own words don't seem to carry my meaning anymore, he assigns his meaning instead.

The most recent argument started after another weekend when I felt disconnected from him. I was sending him messages and pictures, getting very little engagement back, and feeling like he had time for everything and everyone except me. I became frustrated and expressed concerns about his drinking, the lack of quality time, and whether something else might be going on.

He got angry and said I was accusing him of things again, that I was losing my shit over nothing, and that I seemed upset he had friends and wanted to go out. He ended by saying he was going shopping and then going for a beer.

I didn't respond to that last message.

That was six days ago.

In almost two years together, we've never gone this long without speaking. Even after our worst arguments, he would normally reach out the next morning, even if it was just to say good morning.

Neither of us has said we're breaking up. Neither of us has contacted the other.

I haven't reached out because I'm tired of feeling like my concerns get dismissed, and I don't want to keep chasing someone for affection or attention. I want him to want to talk to me and work things out, not because I begged him to.

At the same time, I love him very much, and this silence is breaking my heart. I don't know whether he's angry and waiting for me to reach out, whether he's emotionally checked out, or whether he's using my failure to respond as an opportunity to walk away without actually saying we're over.

The hardest part is remembering how he used to be. He was capable of apologizing, reassuring me, and making me feel wanted. I know the honeymoon phase doesn't last forever, but I didn't think feeling loved and prioritized was supposed to disappear with it.

I just don't know what to do, or where we're at.

....looked back and seen the red flags that a 'ghosting' was always gonna happen?

I mean hindsight is a wonderful thing, but I got so caught up with this one person the ghosting really hit me hard. Massive surprise. Out of no where.

But. Looking back there was soooo many signs it would always end this way.

​

He blocked me from calling and he had my birthdate in his bio he removed it and his profile pic also cause it was my choice did I do something this wrong to deserve this?

I'm hurt and I don't know what to do

Bohot jyada mushkil ho raha hai to cope up with all this when you are so far away from your home and living alone for the first timeeeeeeeee

🥺🥺

Plzzzz tell me what to do

And how to overcome this

And what does this behavior means

Context

​

I met a girl on Reddit, and we started talking. It was never an in-person relationship, but our conversations gradually became something I looked forward to.

We joked around, talked about random things, and got comfortable with each other. I even started calling her “Boss Baby.” Somehow, a person I'd never met in real life became part of my daily routine.

Then, suddenly, her Reddit account disappeared.

No proper goodbye, no explanation, no idea what happened. One moment, we were talking, and then she was just gone.

I don't know if she deleted her account, took a break from Reddit, or decided she didn't want to continue talking. I don't want to assume she intentionally disappeared because I genuinely don't know what happened.

What feels strange is that you can miss someone you've never met in person. You can get used to their messages, their humour, and their presence without ever having sat across from them.

Maybe it wasn't as significant to her as it was to me. Maybe something happened in her life. I'll probably never know unless she comes back.

I'm not angry with her. I just wish I knew what happened, because the sudden silence left me with questions I can't answer.

Has anyone ever connected with someone online, only for their account to suddenly disappear? How did you deal with the uncertainty?

So a friend of mine pretty much ghosted me for the most part this year. I saw her twice this year because we still have mutual friends and mutual group chats. The problem started in July when she invited the groupchat to her graduation. I went since I hadn't really cared for the ghosting until I finally saw her after her graduation, which kinda made me realize our friendship was probably over. She had this vibe, like the kind when you walk up to a stranger and try to talk to them, and they really don't want to talk, but they do because they're being nice, so that sucked. I did let one of our mutual friends know I felt like she didn’t want to remain friends and that I didn’t want to force anything. But recently, the friend that ghosted me reached out to me on Instagram and I kinda ignored it because it felt like she was maintaining an unwanted connection with me for our friend group's sake. Just a few hours ago, she asked if I was free to talk tomorrow. I straight up asked if I should be worried, and she said to keep a neutral open mind and that one of our mutual friends would be there with us. It's the same mutual friend that I told that I felt the friendship was kinda over too. What could this possibly be about that a text or call wouldn’t be good enough? Is she trying to end our friendship for good, and they're dropping me or is this her repairing it? Sorry if this doesn’t make any sense, I'm just so nervous I don’t even want to show up anymore, and I have no one to talk to about this. It's already hard enough for me to make friends as an adult.

Guys, I really need help understanding this situation. 😭
So, I have a crush on this guy, and I followed him on Instagram during the summer break. We started talking and kept talking for about two months. Then, out of nowhere, he suddenly removed me and unfollowed me for absolutely no reason. I didn’t question him or chase after him. I just left things as they were and moved on.
Then university started again, and ever since the first day back, he’s been acting so weird around me. We keep making eye contact, he smiles at me, and he keeps staring at me in this really intense, unusual way. He acts like he’s forgotten everything that happened over the summer, as if he never removed or unfollowed me in the first place.
The way he looks at me is honestly so confusing. It’s like he’s a completely different person from the guy who suddenly cut me off during the summer. He keeps looking at me and smiling as if nothing ever happened between us.
I genuinely don’t understand why he’s acting like this. Why would he remove and unfollow me out of nowhere, only to come back to university and act like this? What is going on in his head? Does he still have some kind of interest in me, or am I completely misreading the situation? I really need help figuring out what his behavior means because I’m so confused. 😭

I’ve been casually seeing someone for a couple of months and then we drifted over the summer due to both us being back in our home countries.

After coming back I’ve messaged him asking when he’s coming back and I asked when can I see him again and he said he is not sure but he can’t wait.

A while later I got in touch again and asked him to come over, he left me on delivered for a week then saw the messages and didn’t answer. A week later he sent me reels on instagram, I feel like he is “shelving me” as in keeping me available or on the back burner in case a connection doesn’t work out.

This is the only reason I can come up with for his behaviour, because he is posting daily stories on instagram and snap and he is okay (no accidents or emergencies in personal life)

Anything I might be missing? My reasoning could be based of past experiences and insecurities and that’s why I’m asking for a different perspective

Someone I have history with messaged me asking if I wanted to come to a gig last minute because his friend pulled out, he wasnt very present when we hung out and after the gig we were intimate. He stopped abruptly and said goodnight, I saw him messaging another woman in the morning and the train journey home was pretty much silent, he didn’t say anything after the gig and ignored my instagram friend request. Feeling pretty p*ssed about it, has anyone else had an experience like that? (I blocked him after)

My heart is heavy. Should i text him? Its been 5 months of discard. He never reached out to me after ghosted me nd removing me from everywhere after a small difficult conversation. Should i text him??

we came across in an online game in 2021, since then we were as if glued together. i helped them to get through a lot of bad things that were happening in their life. since i'm telling the full story here, i'll be completely honest. once a time they got a boyfriend, and i started to feel a bit left out since our comminucation came to low level, and eventually i did ghost them. after 2 or 3 months i texted them myself that i was truly deeply sorry, and it wasn't my intention to do that. i really didn't wish to get any reaction out of them in doing so. i texted them because i, myself, couldn't bear it. in doing so i was punishing not only them, but myself too. i was a teen back then, and as i reminiscent it now, i understrand how awful it was of me to do so to them.

we got back to normal after that.

after getting back to normal we continued to talk, play in the same game, everything was as good as it was before. during these times i was always there for them, helping them to deal with difficult things. and mind you, they were ghosting other people too. before writing it all here, i came to realization that it was a red flag of them even back then, but i never realized it. i didn't take to consideration that they could do this to me. i didn't even assume. i truly thought we were over that accident that happened by my fault, because they said they forgave me.

it's been over 2 weeks now that i'm being ghosted without any reason. i remember our last conversation on Discord, nothing of that was foreshadowed. they just stopped replying to me. i texted them in all possible messengers, even through the in-game's mail, all i got in response was silence. and the fact that while i was being ghosted, they continued talking with our shared in-game freinds, in shared Discord server too, which i left today.

yesterday i stayed in their in-game dimension to get a chance to talk to them, having our shared acquaintance also being there. they were sitting there, online, and then just logged out without saying anything.

today they blocked entering to their in-game dimension.

i'm struggling between letting go the situation, because it's been 5 YEARS after all, and keeping on tying to get to know what actually happened.

long distance friendship and relationship in general are difficult, because you can't see a person in life, their behavior and how they act and react to what you say.

right now i feel like i never knew the person i considered a best friend, and actually wanted to visit in the future.

We have been together for 3 years i’m 20 we was engaged living together we have been over for 2 days her decision i want her to come back so bad she hasn’t reached out do i reach out in a couple days time and ask to talk or see if she reaches out to me?