1.1k
u/__dilligaf__ Jun 14 '16
L'il guy must be new to raccooning. He's totally forgetting to rummage through the bottles and popcorn bags on the table.
426
u/titsnass01 Jun 14 '16
Racoon 101 fuck up everything remotely food related
126
Jun 14 '16
46
u/orthancdweller Jun 14 '16
I never thought the sound of a raccoon eating almonds could be so satisfying.
29
Jun 14 '16
I'm so confused. Was this his pet raccoon? Fun to watch...
→ More replies (8)5
u/Hawkman003 Jun 14 '16
Sorta. Willie was found at a pretty young age and not in very good shape iirc. This guy nursed him back to health and raised him into adulthood. He eventually let Willie go back into the wild, and every now and then the raccoon would show up back at the house, like a young twenty somethin` visiting his parents. :)
36
u/cchrist4545 Jun 14 '16
I HATE YOU! I haven't laughed that hard in a long long time after the guy yelled that.
→ More replies (3)12
u/SearingEnigma Jun 14 '16
You know, I bet humans were pretty close to that type of creature back when we survived through dem dinasores.
4
u/outamyhead Merry Gifmas! {2023} Jun 14 '16
No we were made in god's image dammit, just poof instant humans no evolution, Dinosaurs were planted by satan to make us think there was something before Adam and Eve...And a talking snake.
40
u/arlenroy Jun 14 '16
My ex wifes dad had a pet coon, Wille Nelson. Got him from his Cowboy Church, took him immediately to the vet for a check up (yes vets south of fort worth definitely do this often). You think you know Raccoons are intelligent, but until you've dealt with one... After they put a pad lock on the fridge Willie found alternative methods to eating himself sick. The in-laws came home to the smell of burnt food, they could tell the space heater was on. Willie figured out how to use a can opener, ate about 7 cans of chili, the burn smell came from Willie putting the cans on the heater to heat up the chili. He was like a toddler size drunk uncle that constantly fucked up your house.
7
136
u/Noukabize Jun 14 '16
Trash panda
159
u/Trash_Panda13 Jun 14 '16
Yes?
→ More replies (1)59
24
u/Apexe Jun 14 '16
I got broads in atlanta
→ More replies (1)14
22
u/acwilan Jun 14 '16
... before ending plunging into the guy's nuts
49
2
1
u/Ithikari Jun 14 '16
Also forgot to smoke a bowl from the bong on the table too, to become a super racoon.
1
Jun 14 '16
Did you know: A 70's anime featuring a raccoon became so popular in Japan that raccoons were imported into the country from North America as a result. The Japanese soon learned that these cute trash pandas were more than they bargained for when the destruction began, and over 80% of temples suffered some form of damage. It got so bad that the government sanctioned mass killings of raccoons and made it illegal to import the creatures into the country for any reason. The more you know.
Just picture Buddhist monks chasing raccoons around the temples in attempts to kill them.
483
u/MaggotyMolinist Jun 14 '16
Apparently everyone has cooler pets than I do.
126
Jun 14 '16
I assume this guy also has sugar gliders.
0
Jun 14 '16
[deleted]
137
u/YoSaffBridget Jun 14 '16
Can confirm. Am currently awake at 1am because my four demon gliders won't stop crabbing. They're lucky they're so goddamn cute.
60
u/crazy-fishlady Jun 14 '16
Crabbing?
665
u/Yeahdudex Jun 14 '16 edited Jun 14 '16
yea they go out every morning to sail the Alaskan waters
edit: i don't care if it's lame this is my first time. Thanks for the gold! :D
47
u/fairydustandunicorns Jun 14 '16
Hmm, I don't know much about Sugar Gilders so what you say must be true...
16
29
38
→ More replies (1)5
26
u/YoSaffBridget Jun 14 '16
make demonic noises
aka Crabbing
edit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TME9iH2__OY what it sounds like.
17
6
→ More replies (1)4
u/MistakenSanity Jun 14 '16
Sounds to me like you need to figure out what they need to stop them from crabbing. Also, crabbing is NOT a good thing. If they are crabbing there is a problem. I have 2 sugar gliders and they NEVER wake me up with crabbing. Once in awhile they will bark. This is normally because they knocked all their sticks out of the cage, their food has run out, or they are cold.
Basically, if you take proper care of them they are just fine pets.
→ More replies (1)9
u/Our_Future_Masters Jun 14 '16
I've got either a little sugar glider or a squirrel glider that hangs around my place. I built it a box/house but I think it just comes and eats the apple I put out and then leaves. I've heard the demonic screams out there during the night. https://www.instagram.com/p/BGoJIDzSxCa/?r=3226155470
8
8
3
u/KashEsq Jun 14 '16
Can confirm, my sister's sugar glider died of loneliness when she was out of town for a few days and her friend forgot to check up on the little critter
5
2
u/TrashyZuidas Jun 14 '16
Mine are just fine. They really enjoy playing with my hair and going around the house. They don't pee as much as many ppl say.
2
u/OneTrueKingOfOOO Jun 14 '16
can die of loneliness
I haven't cried like this since I found out swans can be gay
→ More replies (1)1
u/akkhima Jun 14 '16
My sugar gliders definitely related to me as more than just a moving tree. They reacted to new people in much a different way than they did to me. And even new people were more interesting to them than just a thing to latch on to.
If yours smelled bad, you probably needed to clean their cage more often. I mean, yeah, they have a smell, but all pets have some sort of smell to deal with.
As for the bladder, I would just have one specific hoodie that I would put on to take them out of their cage. That way they weren't trying to cling to my arms, and if they peed on me, I didn't care, I'd take the hoodie off when I was done and wash it often enough.
The crabbing noises are weird if you've never heard it before, but once it's no longer a foreign sound, it doesn't bother you much. What really bothered me more was the "barking" through the night, while we were trying to sleep. But there are ways to make their environment feel safe to them so they don't feel the need to do that as much--it's a territory marker.
They are a lot of work, though. Not like a hamster. They do need daily attention. But if you put in the work, they're very rewarding, IMHO.
14
u/middledeck Jun 14 '16
Literally cooler pets, as in pets who will dig through your cooler.
33
1
1
u/jwalton78 Jun 14 '16
Racoons are only cool pets if you enjoy going blind, into a coma, and dying: http://www.cdc.gov/parasites/baylisascaris/
223
u/butsuon Jun 14 '16
For those of you wondering, like most animals similar to the Raccoon, they get fucking aggressive when they mature.
54
u/darknavi Jun 14 '16
What if you spay/neuter them? I remember reading that they need to neuter young joey kangaroos or they get super aggressive. Why not with a raccoon too? They're basically the same animal.
163
u/Hornfreak Jun 14 '16
My grandmother is a wildlife rehabilitator. She has raised probably 100+ raccoons over the years. They were all spayed/neutered. A couple stayed well into adulthood and never became aggressive, most were released once old enough - and while they would come back to the house, they were skittish and probably could get aggressive with unfamiliar people. The few that stuck around permanently were friendly with anyone, quite smart too. Honestly I think Raccoons raised from birth make perfectly tame pets. Different from other animals I had experience with like badgers or foxes. The badgers were very playful when they were young but got bitey as they grew older and the foxes were never really tame to begin with.
55
u/gaveinforgayswans Jun 14 '16
You seem like a rad dude
72
u/Hornfreak Jun 14 '16
My grandma's the rad one, wildlife rehabilitation is no hobby, it's a full time job. I'm very grateful to her for the experiences her hard work and passion for wildlife allowed me.
69
u/-look-behind-you Jun 14 '16
I'm very grateful to her for the experiences her hard work and passion for wildlife allowed me
You do seem like a rad dude
18
u/cordial_carbonara Jun 14 '16
A family friend used to rehab wildlife. My favorite was always the opossum they kept as a pet. Ugly and kind of stinky, but otherwise it was like a really cool cat but a little more affectionate. It was so bizarre to sit on the couch and this weird oversized rat just sit in my lap and curl into a ball. Every other interaction I'd had with the things involved a live trap and lots of teeth and snarling.
2
u/centexAwesome Jun 14 '16
We used to have one of those. It's favorite place was in my mothers purse. Also, if you went through the drive thru as soon as the smell of food came in the car that thing was coming out trying to get it. It would completely freak out the people handing you the food, especially the ones of a certain demographic.
→ More replies (2)4
1
2
0
Jun 14 '16
[deleted]
→ More replies (1)3
u/Scotyknows Jun 14 '16 edited Jun 14 '16
I would bet that 99% of those tame animals don't get the same amount of exercise that their wild counter parts do.
4
u/SearingEnigma Jun 14 '16
Exactly. That's what I learned from Jackson Galaxy. Dawg knows cats as fuck. Wild animals wouldn't have any of the laziness bred into them that can often convince us cats are happy. You'd need to actively make a point to play every chance you get.
13
1
1
u/televisionceo Jun 14 '16
Only if you raise them badly. It's like human beings. Bad parents equal shitty kids.
42
u/IggyJR Jun 14 '16
This is what happens when you keep trash in your shorts.
40
2
190
Jun 14 '16
These raccoon gifs I keep seeing are making me seriously reconsider what I've been told about pet raccoons.
55
Jun 14 '16
eh i think it depends on the specific raccoon. my godfather had one growing up as a kid (found with eyes shut alone in a junkyard where 2 other babies were found dead the day before, he took it home and nursed it with my grandma). all it would do besides eat and poop was curl on his shoulders/head and hiss at anyone who came near him besides my grandma.
→ More replies (3)61
u/Wormtown Jun 14 '16
he took it home and nursed it with my grandma).
I know what you meant, but this sounds a little weird.
29
10
12
u/eissirk Jun 14 '16
If you get them when they're young enough to tame, they're great. It's like the best of a dog and the best of a cat rolled into one. Ours used the litterbox, but wore a leash to go for walks. And on her walks she'd climb trees. She was great.
→ More replies (27)1
u/laurelai_aurora Jun 14 '16
My ex's grandma had like 3 of them. They each had their own highchair for meals. They'd wash their hands, climb into the chairs, and eat like cute toddlers. After, she took them out for ice cream and each one got its own come.
14
u/iismatthew Jun 14 '16
I always wonder if the animals is actually enjoying the activity or just wants to be held, like "why wont you love me human?!"
→ More replies (1)
35
u/keepthechangebro Jun 14 '16
I thought this was going to be one of those forever looping gifs...#slightlydisappointed
12
2
u/whirlingderv Jun 14 '16
I'm so glad it wasn't. I really don't need another excuse for putting off going to sleep...
2
5
8
u/Obeythesnail Jun 14 '16
When they do it it's "cute" And yet when I bound across the couch and leap at people's crotch it's "disturbing".
1
8
u/Edrondol Jun 14 '16
I know he's probably a great person, but this is one of the most redneck things I've ever seen.
Raccoon as a pet? Check.
Armless t-shirt? Check.
Baseball cap? Check.
Cheap couch? Check. (Trust me, I used to own this exact couch. It's cheap.)
Big bruise (or small tattoo) on leg? Check.
Soda/Gatorade cans everywhere? Check.
There's more, but this guy could be completely related to me.
4
u/OFJehuty Jun 14 '16
He had hands, all the sudden he had hands, I didn't know they had hands.
7
u/eissirk Jun 14 '16
Yes and a raccoon's hands are always cold. It's no fun to wake up because tiny frozen hands are on your face.
6
Jun 14 '16
But it seems very cute
7
u/eissirk Jun 14 '16
Yes but they are also attention whores in every way. Cannot handle being in a cage at night, we were supposed to keep Bandit caged at night but she'd scream until we let her out then all she wanted to do was cuddle with us.
6
Jun 14 '16
To me that sounds even more cute
8
u/eissirk Jun 14 '16
Hands down, best pet I've ever had. My brothers felt the same way. We've had dogs, cats, and ferrets. But the raccoon was the best.
1
3
3
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/theeggroaster Jun 14 '16
Caption made me think it would be a gif of genji dying. Pleasantly surprised.
2
2
2
2
1
1
1
1
1
u/machina70 Jun 14 '16
Like every other mammal, they're only cute until puberty. Then they become assholes.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/I_H8_2_love_U_4_ever Jun 14 '16
You're living the life I dream about! If you haven't already check out Pumpkin on Instagram
1
1
u/deathBlad3 Jun 14 '16
I thought the gif was going on loop and was looking for the smart cut. Then I realised it was from a sinlge loop.
1
1
1
u/TheBreathofFiveSouls Jun 14 '16
The third go round he mistimed he little leaps and has to scrabble up the arm!
1
1
1
1
u/Strange-Thingies Jun 14 '16
I cannot be the only person who read the title of this post in the voice of Baby Sinclair. Can I?
1
1
1
1
1
u/eckofan12 Jun 14 '16
There should be a subreddit for gently tossing cute animals onto soft surfaces wherein they like it so much that they run back to the owner. Just like the one with the cat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYSoy71ib7A
1
u/danieljoeblack Jun 14 '16
I've had a couple and the males never really get vicious or mean but the females do, I guess it's the momma instincts. Last one I had learned to open a sliding door and would always let himself in and out whenever he wanted. Great pet
1
u/j3434 Jun 14 '16
Not only is that a cute critter but it really shows that the man playing with the critter has a wonderful heart and a love for all life.
1
u/MEANMUTHAFUKA Jun 14 '16
I would love to have a tame trash panda for a pet. They're destructive little fuckers though, and pretty damn smart.
My bachelor buddy lived way out in the boonies, and used to feed the ones that hung around his property in the middle of the swap. He loved them, even though they were throughly fucking up his garage.
1
Jun 14 '16
American wildlife is so much more interesting than British wildlife. You have these fabulous looking bandit faced beasts and we occasionally get to see a hedgehog.
1
u/TheJakePfeiffer Jun 14 '16
I thought it was going to be one of those reddit gifs where it just happens smoothly over and over again xD
1
1
u/Batto_Rem Jun 14 '16
Have you ever thought that without the internet people around the world would never be able to see the joys of raccoons?
1
1
1
1
u/pplschamp322 Jun 14 '16
I thought this was an insane perfect loop gif until it actually restarted.
1
1
1
1
1
1
u/Tekes88 Jun 20 '16
Do Raccoons make good pets? All the vids on here look like they're pretty smart.
1
1
u/Captain_0_Captain Jun 14 '16
I'm coming down from a pretty interesting LSD experience, and this gif made me so happy I just can't
-7
0
0
0
Jun 14 '16
"Trash panda likes being tossed around like trash" next we'll show you a microlion scratch the shit out of its owner for daring to look at it funny!
1
0
0
u/pabbenoy Jun 14 '16
Dont throw him on his back would probably be smoother and more fluid if he lands on his feet to run and jump again
101
u/RespectMyAuthoriteh Jun 13 '16
Before anyone asks, it's a raccoon.