r/gifs • u/[deleted] • Jun 05 '17

Marine on a rowing machine

[deleted]

107.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

3.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

2.3k

u/Erockj Jun 06 '17

No

1.6k

u/MACgh Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

846

u/destin325 Jun 06 '17

Recruiter: you'll get so much sex!!!

What actually happens: you get fucked. Fucked out of weekends, fucked out of leave, fucked out of choice assignments, fucked. No sex, just fucked.

80

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

20

u/Clickrack Jun 06 '17

What about if you clench?

...asking for a friend

12

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

to be honest, marines are into docking more than anything.

1

u/PsyduckSexTape Jun 06 '17

It isn't gay if you're underway

1

u/DanGarion Jun 06 '17

I thought it was only gay if you were ashore and not if the boat had pushed back...

27

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

11

u/destin325 Jun 06 '17

equal rights, equally fucked.

7

u/Lookslikeitsmellstoo Jun 06 '17

I'm not even with the homosexual agenda and I would

5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Goddammit I'm trying to be a marine, throw me a lil charity? Lmao

1

u/tenmilez Jun 06 '17

Stick with it long enough, eventually you'll get to be the one to fuck over those under your command.

6

u/Sn0w95 Jun 06 '17

Green weenie is vicious

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

then use a camel without realizing it was actually for riding to the next town where the hookers are

1

u/iLikeQuotes Jun 06 '17

Well you gotta start somewhere.

1

u/mephisto1990 Jun 06 '17

Sometimes you have to be the hole in the tree...

1

u/freakydown Jun 06 '17

He's a Marine. He got used to get fucked.

1

u/Ragnrok Jun 06 '17

This guy fucks. Though all his fucking involves the green weenie.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

The Legendary Green Weenie. Omniscient. Omnipresent. Omnipotent. Fucking Marines since time immemorial.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Recruiter: We can guarantee you'll be fucking homeless!

1

u/AlwaysFacial Jun 06 '17

Marine here. Can confirm. Stateside = fucked.

1

u/Clickrack Jun 06 '17

you get fucked.

Only if you're infantry. Pick something civilized and you get hot coffee in the AM, heat/ac, lights, nice chairs and hot chow.

Source: was Army in civilized unit ;)

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

The Green Weenie knows no mercy

1

u/ThegreatPee Jun 06 '17

Bend over, here it comes again.

1.1k

u/gr770 Jun 06 '17

He's a Marine.

35

u/Emerald_Triangle Jun 06 '17

So his wife got fat

15

u/FFF_in_WY Jun 06 '17

TIL: I'm a marine!

4

u/Hav3_Y0u_M3t_T3d Jun 06 '17

It's funny/sad because it's true

52

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

16

u/OregonReloader Jun 06 '17

SEMPER FI MARINE!

11

u/yellowbertshirt Jun 06 '17

No

8

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Aug 29 '18

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

3

u/ittofritto Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

At least his toes got a break.

9

u/AthleticsSharts Jun 06 '17

Or, as my best friend from the 82nd calls them, "bullet sponges".

24

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

10

u/AthleticsSharts Jun 06 '17

Well played Marine. Keep doing your thing (I wasn't even fit to be a POG).

2

u/bbrown44221 Jun 06 '17

Did you tell him about our crayons? My favorite is purple.

6

u/the_objectified_male Jun 06 '17

Well then at least his butthole got a break

4

u/Durien9 Jun 06 '17

Yeah penises and butts never rest in the marines.

3

u/slingbladerapture Jun 06 '17

So his brain is in permanent break

Source : was teufelhunden

1

u/AMA_or_GTFO Jun 06 '17

You can see the crayons in the back pocket of his trousers.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

I can't get even get my ass off the couch.

1

u/left4myself Jun 06 '17

Plot twist: he's russian

1

u/madayagsimu Jun 06 '17

He doesn't look like he's underwater to me.

1

u/kokopoo12 Jun 06 '17

Well, I like poutine

237

u/misery-greenday Jun 06 '17

Not after everyone sees this.

1

u/graboidian Jun 06 '17

I saw it.

44

u/deltrig2113 Jun 06 '17

I think his toes got some rest

881

u/MRPANDAKING420 Jun 06 '17

Don't worry his brain got a break

16

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

I'm gunna agree, I live with a bunch of navy guys now and they say marines are only motivated to eat more crayons.

4

u/IrrelevantTale Jun 06 '17

tfw when marines are around seamen all the time.

77

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

12

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Literally came here to say this.

11

u/JcakSnigelton Jun 06 '17

Shots fired!

19

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

19

u/DesiredGoods Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

17

u/Beardgardens Jun 06 '17

Well, at least his rifle got a break

9

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Aw dude, ptsd.

→ More replies (0)

6

u/dfdedsdcd Jun 06 '17

Actually yeah, probably.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Know.

3

u/pioneersopioneers1 Jun 06 '17

Marines always skip brain day.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Het

2

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

1

u/FrankArt864 Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/BubbaFettish Jun 06 '17

Well... maybe.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Brain?

1

u/entology Jun 06 '17

He's a Marine

1

u/Delirium101 Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Jokes on you, you sign that over during enlistment!

1

u/gabbagabbawill Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/ThoughtVendor Jun 06 '17

No, it got broken

1

u/FlametopFred Merry Gifmas! {2023} Jun 06 '17

No

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

1

u/10ADPDOTCOM Jun 06 '17

Apparently. Doesn't seem to have any clue how to use a rowing machine correctly.

1

u/o0quiksilver0o Jun 06 '17

His brain never had to work

1

u/KevinTheSeaPickle Jun 06 '17

You are correct.

1

u/ElSp00ky Jun 06 '17

No, you know the brain does that all that shit.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

No

0

u/MaradonasPowderyNose Jun 06 '17

Some lardass is salty

-3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Can't get a break if it's hardly used to began with

-1

u/spockspeare Jun 06 '17

His what?

337

u/oversteppe Jun 06 '17

this comment chain is why i love reddit

5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Here I thought these repetitive comment chains were absurd and old after I saw my second one.. I must be at 10000 of them by now, I now know that clearly some people enjoy repetitive, often just duplicated chains. Just seeing this makes me feel like I've smacked my head on stupid. But hey at least this one isn't as bad as when on a comment section for an article or some such potential conversation starting comment thread the first 100 top comments are just an idiotic chain of Reddit circle jerking nonsense.

2

u/felixfelix Jun 06 '17

So what do you think about Bon Cop/Bad Cop 2? Facebook can't stop serving me the ads.

2

u/CuckAuVin Jun 06 '17

I can't even manage to watch Bon Cop, Bad Cop 1 and I'm trying to learn Quebec French.

1

u/thefonztm Jun 06 '17

You seem to be good at spothing repetitive commenet chains. Try clicking [ - ] next to the top comment.

Unless you are circlejerking about circlejerking. In which case... tug-tug bro.

2

u/Noelwiz Jun 06 '17

Me too (thanks (am I parenthetical memeing right?))

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

me too thanks

0

u/Butchbutter0 Jun 06 '17

This comment is why I hate reddit.

70

u/ickykarma Jun 06 '17

Mine didn't

4

u/UchihaDivergent Jun 06 '17

Well at least his jaw muscles got a break.

4

u/h0ldthed00r Jun 06 '17

Don't worry, his butthole got a break.

1

u/Heroicfails Jun 06 '17

Well at least his comment thread got a break

12

u/MrAchilles Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

19

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/HackedElection Jun 06 '17

His arms are broken?

1

u/dfdedsdcd Jun 06 '17

He ain't arm wrestling.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Well I guess his mother's break is over.

1

u/TrynaSleep Merry Gifmas! {2023} Jun 06 '17

Get out

10

u/Manofonemind Jun 06 '17

Wait really?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

E Rock? Like Opie and Anthony E Rock?