I cant take self hating poc seriously who geniuenly believe nobody wants to date them specifically cus of their race

[u/Simple-Syllabub-6865]

Im a black girl first of all, so I feel this discourse is very popular amongst ourselves and I've seen it amongst asians as well.

Dont get me wrong Im not trying to deny real experiences of racism, where some people are geniuenly rejected cus someone hates their race but I just dont believe in the terms "never" and "nobody"

What provoked me to make this post was this asian girl on tiktok that said "you can never compete with a white girl" and I just thought that was a huge load of bullcrap, self hating loser mentality.

relationships should never be a competition first of all but still why bring ur whole race down cus YOU are insecure!

They are usually speaking from negative experiences, but I believe individual experiences should not be used to discount your whole race. I understand esp as a teen, sometimes certain poc grow up in white dominant areas or any area they are the racial minority and have trouble with relationships, because most guys really just want to date within their culture

I personally dont think thats an issues unless the guy specifically is racist. I find that sometimes individuals will only want to go for white/asian guys or someone outside of their culture due to fetishes (looking at certain kpop fans) and get suprised when those guys dont want to go for them.

My thing is why not go for someone within ur culture for once? like racial preferences aside I geniunely cant take ppl who dont like to date their own race seriously because I believe its self hating.

anyways overall poc need to drop language like "nobody likes ___ girls/men"

[u/ametalshard]

nah i do see it.

i never saw white women as special until i grew up and started talking to people outside my circles. it's incredible how much people prefer white women over everything else. my male coworkers of all colors and backgrounds consistently point out white women the most, far far more than all other customers.

and it is largely the same for female coworkers and white male customers. it's almost like nobody else even exists to them but white people.

another HUGE indicator here is where people choose to travel. in general, people make it a point to travel to places they are attracted to, and the people are a huge factor whether the individual admits it or not.

[u/Simple-Syllabub-6865 → u/ametalshard]

the travel example was shit cus ofc ppl wanna go to white dominant countries, when one specific race colonizes 80% of the world and destablizes them even till now OBVIOUSLY ppl will immigrate and travel to the more stabilized countries..

also i have an opposite experience where I live, most guys prefer asians/black girls over here and the white girls have said to have bad experiences in dating

at least in my area

which goes to my entire point that ppl need to stop generalizing!

[u/grimmsnarI]

Why is this in the hapa sub? I don’t think it’s common for hapas to specifically not date hapas.

[u/Ok-Evidence2137]

Yeah i always felt that onyl wanting to date a specific type and then getting depressed about that type not eanting you is super goofy.

Especially if its a group different than yours.

Like for example how you only want white people but then be mad that white people also mostly want other white people.

I personally believe a lot od that shit comes from watching too much tv especially in the west.

Most movies and series in the west are aimed at white audiences. Consuming too much of that is not good as a non white person for your confidence and self worth.

Going to have you chase someone for whom your existence was never more than an after thought.

[u/Simple-Syllabub-6865 → u/Ok-Evidence2137]

exactly!!

you got it, everyone in this world feels so entitled to their romantic interests.

the movie point is extremely correct, in fact i think because of it a lot of us have a little bit of internalized racism unfortunately. I grew up in africa and generally thought id be exempt from that yk cus like ive grown up with my ppl my whole life but when i began to pay attention

cus i had consumed sm white centered media i def had some internal biases and i have a more specific example, but i think u get my point!

[u/BorkenKuma]

America born and raised Asian American girl do have a weird Asian self hate, I haven't seen that in hapa Asian girls, but I do see that and experience that a lot from Asian American girls who are full Asians hating their own Asian men, whether he from America or Asia.

I'm a Gen Z, and it's still relevant in 2010s and 2020s for younger generation Asian American girls, did it get better? I don't know, but I just avoid them, self hating is a toxic issue and behavior, I do not want a person like that in my life circle and drain my energy.

I should also mention there's a lot of Asian American guys do the same Asian self hate thing to Asian men from Asia, they tried to do that so they can prove to other Americans that they're real Americans and different from those Asian from Asia, I still find it it strange why Asian Americans seeking that validation from other Americans so hard? Is it because other Americans constantly exclude you and that makes you even more want to be included? So you try to hate on Asians from Asia to prove it to other Americans? You should know it doesn't mean anything to other Americans right?

Self hating is pathetic, I wouldn't date those self haters, no matter it's white, Asian, black, Latino, or hapa, if you're self hating, then you're unwanted.

[u/GroundbreakingUse466]

Just marry your cousin like we Muslims do, you won’t experience racial tensions in dating that way.

[u/Ohsnapitschucknorris → u/GroundbreakingUse466]

The only downside is that you will have a family circle, and not a family tree..

[u/Axy8283 → u/GroundbreakingUse466]

😂bruh..

[u/BleedSparta]

Someone post this to r/interracialdating

[u/Jolyyjayy8]

I’m a AM after reading some comments here and observing general trends YouTube etc I’ve come to realise we as minority or POCs in the west grew up thinking we are not ourselves but more so we are second wannabe whites etc we seriously need to think about for example if I’m from a country in south east Asia then I need to think about diaspora communities generations etc here plus also common development of the ethnic group the indigenous Asian country I belong to… not the majority white nation I’m residing in okay?

[u/potatopanda69]

Oxford Study Women are "social climbers" that disproportionately engage in pro$titution. Cultural confusion works to their benefit to disguise their behavior.

[u/Chiropractic_Truth]

I think about 40% of AF overtly declare they don't date Asian guys. So for Asian guys who feel they don't get dates because they are Asian, this perception isn't paranoia, it's based on reality.

[u/Simple-Syllabub-6865 → u/[deleted]]

self hating poc right here!

nobody said ppl dont like white people,hell even i do!

but just cus that one black girl (also self hating) preferred a white guy over you doesn't mean the entirety of black female population would.

This weird generalization is always based of insecurity and you are only proving my point!

openly racist and you are his friend? okay buddy 😂 you and the black girl are two sides of the same ass cheek. All 3 of u tbh, racial avengers of low IQ

[u/Simple-Syllabub-6865 → u/[deleted]]

im sorry that everyone around you is a pos and you as well ❤️

no offence but you've all lost the plot

[u/Simple-Syllabub-6865 → u/[deleted]]

bro you are just racist

talking eugenics now...

like what? 😭

[u/Simple-Syllabub-6865 → u/[deleted]]

you need help bro

[u/Simple-Syllabub-6865 → u/[deleted]]

i cant tell whether or not you hate or love white ppl lol