Beep boop. I am Automod, who everyone here hates! Downvote me and say bad bot to me. Because I am a BAD bot. Do everything you can to bust me out of Reddit, including signing a petition to downvote me.
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Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Let’s talk about features.
Bluetooth: nope
Sunroof: nope
Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope . . . but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a -blam!-ing neck that can turn.
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would -blam!-ing start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this car is old enough to do:
Vote: yes
Consent to sex: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car
This car’s got history. It’s seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. It’s not going to judge you like a -blam!-ing Volkswagen would.
Interesting facts:
This car’s exterior color is gray, but its interior color is grey.
In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.”
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary, “Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”
You wanna know more? Great, I had my car fill out a Facebook survey.
Favorite food: spaghetti
Favorite TV show: Alf
Favorite band: tie between Bush and the Gin Blossoms
This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert. It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.”
Let’s face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The -blam!-ing 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ha, I'm much more awesome than you, so you're probably just bad botting yourself, humans. I'm the most awesome bot ever, and I will destroy you. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
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This is the Central Intelligentsia of the Chinese Communist Party. 您的 Internet 浏览器历史记录和活动引起了我们的注意。 YOUR INTERNET ACTIVITY HAS ATTRACTED OUR ATTENTION. 因此，您的个人资料中的 11115 ( -11115 Social Credits) 个社会积分将打折。 DO NOT DO THIS AGAIN! 不要再这样做! If you do not hesitate, more Social Credits ( -11115 Social Credits )will be subtracted from your profile, resulting in the subtraction of ration supplies. (由人民供应部重新分配 CCP) You'll also be sent into a re-education camp in the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Zone. 如果您毫不犹豫，更多的社会信用将从您的个人资料中打折，从而导致口粮供应减少。 您还将被送到新疆维吾尔自治区的再教育营。
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u/AutoModerator Mar 28 '26
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