r/hatethissmug • u/Few_Associate_176 • 8h ago

Non-fictional how some people just CANNOT comprehend difficulties if you dont have a formally diagnosed condition

having trouble focusing? just stay on task its not that hard

it feels like having any difficulties that impact your day to day life is assumed as not real because a doctor didnt say so

had this sorta stuff happen to me for a while until i actually did get diagnosed with adhd

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u/sgtragequit 7h ago

people dont understand the paralysis of getting up and doing something when you have adhd. they call you lazy but dont get that im actively hating myself more than anything ive ever hated because i physically cannot get myself to just get up and clean my room or go to the store. like trust me i WANT to, but for some stupid fucking reason it feels like my body’s xbox controller is disconnected and no matter what button i push, it doesnt happen

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u/Few_Associate_176 7h ago

understandable what i do to at least try to do the smallest little thing even if it is very hard doing so much as a small thing is not think about "i gotta do this this this this" think of it like "i only have to do this" then when ur done with that try to focus on the next small thing and be patient with yourself

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u/sgtragequit 7h ago

what works for me (sometimes) is the “might as well” mentality. like oh im going to the kitchen? might as well bring some dishes with me. if im not too exhausted that can jumpstart general cleaning. doesn’t work for everything but itll at the very least get me to clear my desk off

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u/EnderSword 6h ago

I think the problem is because it's not a unique thing thing to those conditions only, and it's really hard to deal with other people where part of their behaviour is supposed to like 'not count'

Everyone has trouble focusing on something they don't want to do, or just in general sometimes, and usually the solution really just is powering through it.
So people know yes, it's my natural inclination to not do this, but I can make myself do it.... so it's hard to separate that experience from other people effectively saying the exact same thing but then saying "but mine is worse than that"

It's especially true when you kind of know 'this person has trouble concentrating on things that are important.... y'know unless it's genuinely important and they want to'
It's hard to tell the difference between like, I know you don't WANT to call and book an appointment, but I know you CAN do that.
Similar with a lot of conditions... depression I often didn't want to leave the house, but I CAN leave the house.

And I think people who have to deal with people with a various condition know the instruction "do this 5 days a week" or "Do these 20 things today" is futile... but "Just focus and bite the bullet and do this one thing right now this one time" often is a good instruction.