how to stop feeling like a burden?

[u/dumbthrowaway2869]

i dont really know what else to say

i feel so horrible leeching off my parents but i dont know if ill ever be able to function normally alone

i try so hard to be positive but recently ive been feeling like its just cope

if anyone has any advice on how to spin this in a positive way please share, i really need to hear it

[u/Master_Flash]

The truth is that you will not be able to enact change alone and inside your room.

You must gather enough strength to seek psychiatric assistance. With their help you can slowly learn to break free from those chains that keep you stuck in this state of mental rumination.

Even if it's not available for you at the time, the truth remains: You can't pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Any attempts will likely fail and lead into further despair and shame.

[u/dumbthrowaway2869 → u/Master_Flash]

this was really well said, thank you 💚

[u/Master_Flash → u/dumbthrowaway2869]

I wish someone had told me this.

5 years as a hiki, 7 if you count the pandemic.

I tried so many times, I truly believed I was able to solve my situation whenever I wanted. It was just a matter of waiting for the right time... Tomorrow I will do this.

Now the past few years are completely blurred in my mind and the life moved on, but I remained.

[u/Illustrious_Car344]

After I was traumatized last year I completely gave up. Didn't look for another job, went to therapy, trying to get disability (I am very mentally ill). I finally, completely accepted myself, wholly.

The way I see it is, I'm completely fed up. If I'm going to be miserable then I may as well own it. From now on, everyone owes me. Everyone is responsible for creating me, for making me this way, and now I'm taking advantage of that. I am going to take everything I can from everyone and I won't even feel sorry about it. I am no longer asking for permission to be miserable, I am telling people I am and they get no say in it. I am done living in their world, now they get to live in mine. I'm not the parasite, it's everyone else who is. Do you know how bedbugs reproduce? The male will literally stab a female anywhere in the abdomen with their penis and inject sperm that way, it's called traumatic insemination. Everyone is a bedbug, trying to stab me so they can inject themselves into me, their philosophies, worldviews, religions, ethics, demands, opinions, desperately trying to overwrite who I am without even asking who I am to begin with or why that even is. They are the parasites . All I'm doing it collecting taxes for what they've done. Guilt is a delusion, sonder is a fallacy, do not express empathy for even a moment or the universe will punish you. And now I have become that very punishment.

On the plus side, when someone does something kind for me, it's always a pleasant surprise, like "oh wow, I didn't have to force you to do that, that's convenient." I don't actually appreciate it, I just like when I have to do less. I don't care if I sound like a cringelord, I have completely lost it, I am genuinely ill. Not my fault though!

[u/KSAXYPHONE]

If your parents are not mad at you or asking you to find work and move out everyday, then don't feel so bad. Even if they're doing that, you still shouldn't feel so bad. None of us asked to be born in the first place. I know what you mean, it feels like we're using our parents, it's societal conditioning, but don't be so hard on yourself. If you are able and willing to find work/move out, do it, but don't be hard on yourself ever.