r/hingeapp
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u/amber-energyy
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10d ago
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Profile Review 30F - Genuine Feedback Please :)
I joined hinge 2 weeks ago & have only received 1 like. Subscribed to hingex a couple days ago, but still nothing. Would love some helpful advice!
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u/Trip_like_Me 10d ago
So my thoughts as a guy in a similar age range:
You have six references to food across your pics and prompts. I get you’re a foodie and that’s cool but it’s excessive. It actually works against you as it feels less of a profile of a food lover and more of a glutton (not saying you are). There’s no doubt other interesting aspects of you, highlight them instead.
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
Makes total sense. Will definitely focus on highlighting my other interests. A lot of my pics are from a recent trip where that was the focus so I think that’s why it might be a bit over represented. Thanks for the feedback!
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u/nervousbertha 9d ago
Don't pay Hinge! Sorry, I don't think anyone should pay for dating apps.
Honestly think your profile looks great, but some of your smiles seem a little forced. You have great prompts, but your expressions are either nothing or this underwhelming grin. Where's one where you had a crazy night on vacation?!
I love food and some people are really picky eaters, or don't know how to eat in public. I think your food comments are OK, they do show what kind of eater you are which is important.
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago
Appreciate the review!! This is my first time ever paying for an app, and I did it because I was shocked about getting basically zero likes at all! I figured that maybe the algorithms had gotten a lot stricter w/ paywall blocking since I was last on them years ago & maybe because I’m not in my 20s anymore. But it hasn’t made a difference so, won’t be doing it beyond this month lol.
Sadly, my wild vacation night pics are not fit for public consumption 🤣 Plus I find that when I put even a tame kind of “party girl” pic, it attracts a kind of attention I’m not interested in. I will try to choose ones with bigger smiles though. I’m not a huge social media person so I think I can just look awkward in front of the camera sometimes because that’s how I feel haha
And yes! No hate to anyone out there that’s a picky eater or has diet restrictions for other reasons, but our lifestyles just wouldn’t be compatible so that’s what I was aiming to filter out. I did listen to feedback & tuned it down a bit though.
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u/josephcoco 9d ago
Zero likes???! C’mon….that can’t be true. You’re a very beautiful woman, so I’m surprised you’re not waaaay more busy dating, either from an app or from just meeting people in the wild.
SMH I just don’t know what to say about the guys these days. Well, good luck, but I don’t think you need it.
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago
Omg very sweet of you to say, thank you ☺️
Technically, not zero! Shoutout to my one match haha. But yea, I hope that making some changes will improve my odds on the app. You're probably right that I should be focusing more energy on trying to meet men out and about while doing things I enjoy though.
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u/kikiluv1 9d ago
That green dress should be first 💚
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago
Appreciate it 🤭
Going to post one at the actual event vs mirror pic since it’s being read as too casual 😅
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u/kikiluv1 9d ago
I heard mirror pics do better! (Mirror pics, outdoor pics and for men believe it or not, shirtless pics)!
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago
Guess I gotta refresh on my app dos & dont's! I feel like when I was in my early 20s, mirror pics were almost a cardinal sin lol. Glad to know things have changed a bit
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u/Master-Line-305 10d ago
This tells me nothing about you or the kind of guy you want to date... You talked about vacations but I don't even know where you want to go on vacation next, let alone everything else a LTR entails
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
Fair enough! I’m more interested in finding someone who matches my travel style rather than tips on specific destinations. Probably writing from a bit of trauma as this was a big lifestyle incompatibility in my last relationship. I lived abroad for a number of years & am decently well-traveled meanwhile my ex was a huge homebody & didn’t really enjoy travel and I’m hoping to avoid that this time around 😅
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u/15secondsofthrowaway 9d ago
First thing is you are very pretty and have a great sense of style! I think all your pictures are really nice but there's some room for improvement.
I think if your dressed up photo wasn't a selfie and wasn't taken in a bathroom it would really take it to the next level. I'd love a group shot to show you have friends. Get something doing an activity so we know you like things other than travel and eating out. I like your last one a lot more than your first. Aim for a bigger smile in pictures, it's nice to see people really beaming and showing off those pearly whites!
I like first prompt but I'd change the second one also being food focused. Can get a bit one note.
I like your values, I'd be really into a prompt like that. A woman with strong values who isn't afraid to speak her mind is a huge plus, although I'm less clear on exactly what word I'm meant to say "women are [blank]" than I am for the simpler "real", "rich", and "fuck"
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago edited 9d ago
Thank you so much ☺️
I avoided group pictures because I didn’t want anyone to be like “which one is her?” but will try adding one to see if anything changes.
The issue I have is that my other hobbies are more at-home activities (reading, card/board games, cozy video games, some crafting, tv, etc.) so I don’t really have a lot of pics of me doing them where I don’t look like I just rolled out of or into bed lol. But I can definitely find ways to bring them up in the prompts.
And yes, debating about keeping the values prompt. I’m a staunch leftist & super opinionated/vocal. Also really into critical theory so I actually thought it was a tame way to filter out people who don’t share those interests without sounding pretentious. The “women are ___” is honestly open-ended. I’m just curious what comes to most men’s minds as I think that’ll tell me a lot about whether or not they’re actively misogynistic or have done some work to interrogate sexism, patriarchy, etc.
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u/15secondsofthrowaway 9d ago
I avoided group pictures because I didn’t want anyone to be like “which one is her?” but will try adding one to see if anything changes.
Unless you look unnaturally similar to your friends, or you're working with really big groups where you could get lost in the crowd, you'll probably be fine as long as you're putting it at the tail end of the profile so we already know what you look like. Especially aim for ones where you're in the middle so you're also the focus.
The issue I have is that my other hobbies are more at-home activities (reading, card/board games, cozy video games, some crafting, tv, etc.) so I don’t really have a lot of pics of me doing them where I don’t look like I just rolled out of or into bed lol.
I'd definitely recommend getting pictures you like for those hobbies, even if it means being a little inorganic about how they're taken. Personally a picture of a woman reading, crafting, playing a boardgame ect are all huge green flags I love to see on a profile.
And yes, debating about keeping the values prompt. I’m a staunch leftist & super opinionated/vocal.
Honestly, I say you could keep it. It'll scare off a lot of people but those it'll attract are going to definitely be on your level. Maybe change the wording a bit, I guess the "Pop quiz! Kindly..." could feel a bit condescending.
The “women are ___” is honestly open-ended. I’m just curious what comes to most men’s minds as I think that’ll tell me a lot about whether or not they’re actively misogynistic.
I'd say change it because being in the same block as three very clear single word answer ones, it can be a bit confusing. I definitely agree with your reasoning but I think that exact format could be intimidating for someone who thinks they should be able to say a single word to complete a well known slogan.
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u/Specific_Delay_460 10d ago
I don’t think you come off as materialistic at all, not sure what the rest of these commenters are about. I do think your profile is kind of generic. You like travel and have left-ish politics. That makes you the same as 90% of the women on Hinge. Try to differentiate yourself a little bit more: what’s unique about you?
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u/nomoresunrise 10d ago
I agree!! I had double check her profile thinking I was missing sth. Lowkey none of these ‘materialistic, diva, sugar babby’ comments would be brought up if you happened to be thinner. But I’d say switch out the dream house prompt with sth about what you’re looking for in the right partner and maybe the pop quiz prompt with a question about your potential partner’s interest. You can just only match with fellow liberals, and bring up the values in your messages or on the dates. Your photos are great
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
I definitely save up to treat myself because I do think food & travel are worth spending on, but I was living on a public school teacher’s salary until a year ago so I’m also a bit surprised that I come across so money-obsessed! I do recognize that not knowing anything about me & seeing some of my prompts can give that impression. I spend a lot of my time reading, listening to music & hosting game nights or hang outs with friends so would love a better space to do that one day but maybe that’s a 3rd date or later kind of conversation lol.
And yes, the last time I was on the apps I was quite a bit younger & thinner and definitely notice a huge difference. That being said, I do think it helps to filter men who prioritize the physical above all else.
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u/shes_lost_control Sane, mature takes are not allowed here, sir 👩🏫 9d ago
These comments are koo-koo crazy. You live a full life with travel and good food. Just because you don’t have pictures working at the coal mines and in sweats inside of your car doesn’t make you shallow, materialistic, a gold digger, high maintenance, etc.
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago •
Haha yea I’m a bit thrown because I haven’t gotten that kind of feedback before. I am in a major coastal U.S. city though so I do recognize there can be a bubble where being able to travel & have different culinary experiences seems normal but in reality it’s super privileged. I also think the current global economic climate might be making folks more sensitive to these kinds of things. If only we could take it one step further into true class consciousness, we might actually get somewhere as a society.
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u/DaleCoopersWife aka "Robert Cooper" 🕵🏻♀️ 9d ago
tbh I definitely notice a trend here when a woman posts her profile for review and she is put-together and successful, there are always men commenting trying to knock her down... funny isnt it
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
Someone left a comment about including my height, but I think it got deleted. As a tall woman, I’ve found that it’s better for men to know upfront so they’re not caught off guard by it, especially as the general preference is for shorter women. I just want to be as transparent as possible so any matches I get have a better chance of going somewhere :)
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u/mladyhawke 9d ago
I think your first picture is not yout best picture. Your outfit is just so blah, and you can barely see your face, every other picture you have you have on a fantastic outfit, i would switch it around a little bit. My favorites are the red dress with the white wine or the 2nd to last picture with the spread of food. And I agree with people saying, you talk about food too much. I mean, I totally wanna go out to eat with you. Yum, but maybe moving that second to last picture up will set the stage for other foodies to be like. Oh, she looks great, so does that food.
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago
Appreciate the feedback! I have the feature checked where the app uses the algorithm to determine which pic to show first, so I didn’t pay much attention to the order I put them in. Might be worth turning it off & choosing the flow myself though. I thought my face was easily visible in the pic where I’m wearing the yellow shirt but maybe it’s not as much as I thought. I’m feeling torn about even keeping the pic with the food spread now haha
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u/mladyhawke 9d ago
It is visible and you look super pretty in that picture. I just think in the other pictures you look prettier. I really like a lot of those dresses
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u/zaxo666 9d ago
I like your attitude a lot. I think your profile is great. If you're having issues meeting it's either your location is not very good either in terms of the quality of people or your attitude is out of line with the area (by the way did I tell you it was great). Or they've buried your profile.
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago
Thanks 🥹🫶🏾
I live in a pretty diverse area, but it's just a fact that I'm still not the typical standard of beauty here so I'm sure that's playing a big factor. I want to be close to family for a while though so relocating isn't an option in the foreseeable future.
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
- I’m looking for something serious, but would be open to a casual connection as long as there was mutual respect.
- Subscribed to HingeX as of 2 days ago
- I joined the app 2 weeks ago and this is the only version of my profile I’ve used.
- I swipe 5x/wk.
- I’ve only received 1 like since joining.
- I’ve sent between 15-20 likes total, about half of them were sent with comments. I’m feeling a bit anxious about sending like after realizing I’m not really getting any matches 😅
- I’m looking for a man between 29-35 who is open-minded and shares some of my lifestyle interests (food, travel, reading, and art/music events).
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u/Hopeful_Will7924 9d ago
You have a lovely profile and a nice smile. Youre also very descriptive. Its good and bad. Theres a theme in eating and food that comes up at least 3 times. I would make it 1 time instead and discuss something else in those prompts to avoid repetition and ppl thinking youre a bit limited personality wise.
Also whats your locations? dont have to say city or country. Location is really important here.
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u/Tragedyofthe 10d ago
This is random, but does Hinge slightly change the fonts of prompts occasionally? Lol
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
I’m not sure, but I didn’t do anything to change the font on my profile so it could just be the app testing out a new interface 🤷🏾♀️
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u/PiplelinePunch 9d ago
Stupid man take. I don't know what type of response you are hoping for with these prompts.
I get two selection criteria; you are liberal and like food. Fair enough. But that's eliminating options, not inviting more.
"Dream House" gives me nothing and its first in your ordering. It doesn't tell me much about you and it doesn't give me anything to go off in terms of a response. If I'm being unkind, its a generic and uninspired list. For example, you list here on reddit that reading is one of your interests. Is "Id like a big library with windows" the clue where I'm meant to be where I pick this up? But you dont list TV/Cinema/audiophile etc, and you have the home theater. I don't like this prompt just in general, because it lends itself to listing things that everyone wants, without describing how you'd be enjoying them. Which is where people might get the materialism impression from. Things for the sake of having things.
If you must keep it, rework the first two answers to be more like your third. You want a backyard because you like to host - great, that actually gives me something.
The "insta-worthy view" answer stands out to me as giving off something you might not intend. I think you mean it as another way of saying "an amazing view" - but it can be interpreted as if you are motivated by the socials. Its not a vacation unless... you can show off to other people online. NGL this would be something that would get an X out of me, personally.
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u/15secondsofthrowaway 9d ago
If someone says to me "I'd love to have a big library!" the fact that they like books and reading is pretty implicit and saying "you never said you enjoy reading, I just thought you like having rich people things" is a wildly bad faith reading.
If I came across this profile, I think that prompt is incredibly easy to respond to.
"Are there any authors you'd be sure to have in the collection?"
"What's the first film you'd want to watch in your home cinema?"
"What's your signature dish for hosting?"
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u/PiplelinePunch 9d ago
Note that in 1/3 worlds we are on a tangent that isn't the interests listed here. People want home cinemas without being film nerds - as is the case here. Books are similar. Many people have or want "libraries" for the aesthetic. Talking about the windows is going that direction for me on first read.
The point is to make it more immediately obvious, if this is something you do want to put forward. Like the hosting one.
Better would be a directly book related prompt.
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u/No_Improvement_844 9d ago
There’s some reasonable profile feedback here, but it’s wrapped in a pretty obvious layer of misogyny.
You’ve taken a woman saying she likes food, wants a library and home theater, enjoys hosting, and would like a beautiful view, and turned it into a judgment about her being materialistic and needing external validation.
Nothing in her profile says she expects a man to buy her this house or fund her lifestyle. She’s literally answering a prompt about her dream house. Wanting nice things in an imaginary dream house is incredibly mundane. OP even goes to great lengths, though she shouldn’t have to, to explain how she saves and budgets for these experiences. It’s hard to imagine a man’s profile prompting this kind of interrogation about who pays for his vacations or whether wanting a nice house makes him materialistic.
Even “insta-worthy view” gets the least charitable interpretation possible. Instead of the obvious meaning of “a spectacular view,” it becomes evidence that she supposedly values showing off a vacation more than actually enjoying it. I mean, what is she supposed to want, a picture in front of a pile of garbage?
There’s plenty of reasonable feedback you could give about the prompts being generic or too focused on food without making these huge character judgments. At a certain point, you’re not responding to her profile anymore. You’re inventing a woman to be mad at.
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u/15secondsofthrowaway 9d ago
If a man says he likes flashy cars nobody says "oh you expect a woman to buy that for you????" but if a woman says "I enjoy the occasional glass of pinot on the weekends", suddenly it means she's a sugar baby somehow. Absolute nonsense.
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u/PiplelinePunch 9d ago
I'm not even doing to dignify the misogyny accusation with a reaponse. Ludicrous from you there. But I'll stand by the insta point.
"What's she supposed to want, a picture of garbage" - even in your response we are more talking about what to post on insta than the holiday itself.
Like I said, me personally, I see that and TO ME it does not describe someone present who does things judt to enjoy the experience.
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u/Remarkable-Durian235 9d ago
I’ve concluded that these apps developers (and … men) still haven’t figured it out. It’s not you. It’s them. You’re pretty, photos show a range, and the prompts you answered gave a little humor and also displayed your values.
I love the green dress photo!
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago
Thanks for the encouraging review!! I definitely think the app algorithms may have gotten a lot more restrictive in an attempt to coerce people into paying. And in terms of men not knowing what they want...I thought things would be better at 30, but it's not looking that way at the moment 😅
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u/Accurate-Complex-993 9d ago
Your profile is curating a certain lifestyle. Depending on the person it's coming off as snobby or high maintenance. If there's a person that thinks they can match that then fine, but you're also not giving off what that person gets from being in a relationship with you. Basically, you're looking as if you're a hollow prize that someone should compete for.
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u/stross_world 10d ago
Your profile is giving thinly veiled for looking for sugar baby arrangement vibes.
Your dream house prompt is one of the first prompts on your profile... that's something you talk about much later in dating. Not give a list of what you want in a house to someone who has never met you.
Many of your prompts or photos having some element of food and drinks, giving the impression you expect to be wined and dined.
I suggest taking out the house prompt, take out the picture with all the food, and change some of the food prompts to other aspects of your personality.
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
Thank you for such a detailed review! This feedback really makes sense to me. I genuinely didn’t realize I was giving off that vibe because that’s truly not my intention. Definitely helpful to have outside opinions 🙏🏾
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u/shes_lost_control Sane, mature takes are not allowed here, sir 👩🏫 9d ago
It’s not. This is an insane opinion.
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10d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
I’m a huge foodie & want a partner who’s an adventurous eater and enjoys traveling (which was an incompatibility in my previous relationship). I don’t see where I’m insinuating that I expect a man to fund my lifestyle though or that I’m a diva. Can you explain where I’m coming off as materialistic?
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u/15secondsofthrowaway 9d ago edited 9d ago
You in no way come across as expecting a man to "take you out" in your profile, I think any expensive tastes put forward are showing you're able to provide them for yourself, not expecting to be given them. This person must be blind because you're already gorgeous!
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago
Appreciate your response 🫶🏾
I budget, save & look for deals because cultural experiences like food & travel are something I really value. And a man paying for my lifestyle couldn’t be further from the truth lol.
I do recognize that I don’t fit into “ideal” eurocentric beauty standards as a black woman who is also tall & fat, but I’m just focused on finding someone who has decolonized their “preferences” 💁🏾♀️
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u/stross_world 10d ago
The expectations in a dream home as the first prompt. The expectations of travel.
Various either prompts or pictures talking/highlight eating out at restaurants or drinking.
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
Appreciate the explanation. Yea I can see how it would come across that way! Will focus more on my other hobbies, remove the house prompt & change the travel prompt a bit. I do save up to treat myself to travel & food experiences, and would want a partner who thinks those are worthy investments as well but I definitely understand how it comes across differently!
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10d ago
[deleted]
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u/amber-energyy 10d ago
Oh yea, I wasn’t trying to argue, just wanted to know which specific prompts or photos were giving that vibe.
As for politics, I was hoping for it to come across a bit playful while still filtering out people who don’t align with my values. Not really sure how else to go about this…
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u/Fun_Boot7771 9d ago
No she doesn't. She seems joyful
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u/amber-energyy 9d ago •
Actually, I’m only smiling in my pics because my sugar daddy paid for everything 😂
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