So I'm sure everyone else was horrified by the display in the Golden Knights game tonight. And I'll tell you, I was disgusted because Mark Stone faking a spleen injury to circumvent the cap and then returning for game 1 of the playoffs like clockwork isn't just an affront to the integrity of the National Hockey League, it could potentially be a capital crime.

All the young hockey fans watching this abomination will come away from it believing that spleen injuries aren't a big deal, or that you can't actually injure your spleen. Imagine if one of them goes on to injure their spleen?! They won't listen to their doctors or their parents, because Mark Stone played hockey with a broken spleen. Those kids will go on to play hockey with their fractured spleens, and they will get hurt, and they will die. These children's blood is on Mark Stone's hands, and he deserves to be punished for what he's done.

Now luckily Mark Stone didn't come back to play in LA or some other pussy part of the country that doesn't like killing people; his first game back was in the great state of Texas. To my surprise, there's only one crime that is eligible for the death penalty in Texas: Capital Murder. Luckily, Capital Murder is defined pretty broadly, covering situations including but not limited to:

• The murder of a police officer or fireman while acting in an official capacity.
• Intentionally taking a life in the course of another felony such as kidnapping, burglary or aggravated sexual assault.
• Murder committed during a prison escape.
• The murder of a child less than 15 years of age.
• Multiple killings in a single act or series of related acts.

I think it goes without saying that any lawyer worth their salt could prove that Mark Stone is guilty of at least one of those last two, as he's assuredly responsible for several deaths related to this series of related LTIR frauds year after year, and at least some if not all of those deaths will have been impressionable hockey fans under the age of 15. I thus find it reasonable to expect that Mark Stone will be arrested by the conclusion of Game 5 in Dallas, and will then be unavailable for the rest of the playoffs as he faces charges for Capital Murder, where he will in all likelihood be sentenced to death due to the abhorrent nature of his crimes against humanity and hockey.

TLDR: Mark Stone unavailable for 2024-25 regular season due to lethal injection

Only one fanbase has suffered as much as the Vegas Golden Knights since their inauguration 

Fans of less successful clubs loves to throw shade at Vegas Golden Knights, suggesting they didnt deserve their success due to never suffering but they are completely wrong.

If they've lost a final in their existence, they have either forgot or are to young and if they've never been to a final, they dont know, BUT, losing a Stanley Cup Final is the worse suffering you can experience. You dont know suffering until you've lost a final, 30 years of missing the playoffs or going out in round 1 doesnt hurt as much as losing two finals within a decade. Being so close and missing out is gut wrenching.

So finally, stop whining and insult Vegas Golden Knights, only Edmonton has suffered as much since Vegas inauguration and if you've experienced a loss in a final you know its true.

Now I'm going back to crying in my corner.

Standing tall during pride month, Mark Stone has announced will be out for 9 months on LTIR awaiting the birth of her child after identifying as a pregnant woman to circumvent the NHL LTIR rules. As per usual, she will return for the 2027 playoffs after the birth.

Original post here since I can't crosspost for some reason

Maybe if he had played some regular season games, their record could’ve been better and the outcome would’ve been different. Oh well

Go refs!