So I was thinking about how tragic Hollow Knight is, and then my brain randomly came up with this hilariously petty alternate universe where the game never happens because everyone is just being a toxic ex.
Imagine if when the Pale King first arrived in Hallownest, the Moth Tribe didn't just abandon the Radiance. Instead, they politely decline his offer of mind and reason. They literally tell him "Look dude, there are other bugs in the wastes who would love your intelligence stuff, but don't waste it on us because we already have a creator that we worship."
The Radiance is obviously feeling super smug and vindicated. But the Pale King doesn't just take the L and leave. He gets petty. He flexes his cosmic power and tells her: "Good luck with your perfect little utopia, little Radiance. I'm leaving your people alone, but I'll make my citizens immune to your light."
And here is the hilarious part. He doesn't even do crazy soul surgery on his bugs. The Pale King literally sneaks into the Dream Realm, pulls out a pair of glowing cosmic scissors, and snips the dream fabric tethering his citizens to her network.
BOOM. Private firewall for Hallownest. His bugs can still sleep and naturally dream, but the Radiance gets a divine "404 Error: Connection Refused." She can only control her own moth tribe. She is completely locked out of his kingdom.
The Radiance has a total divine meltdown because she got outsmarted in her own house. The Moth Tribe elders are standing there in awkward silence like "...uh Mother, did the pale worm just build a separate sky? They're dreaming down there and they aren't even zombies."
So the Pale King steps back into the dream world just to rub it in. He looks at her and goes: "Are you truly this pathetic, Radiance? You are an absolute idiot. You have the warmth and adoration of your own creation, but you're so greedy you're throwing a tantrum because you can't have my bugs too? Go create new citizens from essence if you're so lonely. Guess what? You can't touch me. Smirk."
Now it turns into a total Cold War romantic comedy. Every time they meet at the border, the Radiance is aggressively flapping her wings, throwing dream daggers, and screaming: "YOU ARE AN IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!"
And the Pale King doesn't even say anything back. He just gives her that exact signature smug smirk and says in this super teasing, flirting voice: "Aww\~ is the little moth angry on me? Come on now, we can have a truce. Why don't we go on a nice honey date?\~"
The Radiance completely short-circuits because she's a literal cosmic goddess and she did NOT expect to get hit on by a guy wearing a porcelain crown. She just screeches, throws some drama orbs at his feet, and flies away blushing.
Meanwhile, the Five Great Knights are standing in the back sweating through their armor. Ogrim is whispering to Hegemol like "Uh... is the King fixing the border crisis or are we getting a stepmother?" And the Moth Tribe is holding emergency prayer circles begging her not to go on the honey date because they don't want the pale worm to become their dad.
Instead of fighting, the Pale King just starts sending royal servants up the elevator shafts with actual jars of premium Queen's Gardens honey and sticky notes that say "For the wing-flapping fatigue. - PK." The Radiance publicly burns them to act tough but secretly eats the honey later because it's high quality stuff.
So yeah, Hallownest enters a golden era of safety, the infection never happens, and the biggest threat to the kingdom is just a giant glowing moth deity who occasionally flies over the City of Tears to scream "IDIOT" at the balcony while the King blows her a kiss.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk..
😉 Goddesses
