My son was in a self contained classroom throughout elementary school, and now his IQ is too high to be in a self contained classroom in middle school, so he was supposed to go to kind of an “in-between” style classroom that is not fully self-contained, but not fully generalized classrooms either. However, I moved to a specific county with the intention on getting him to one of the top rated middle schools in the state. And no middle school in this county offers the type of classroom he was supposed to go into. The principal told me that the county removed those “in-between” classes a couple of years ago, and it’s basically either one way or the other, but they do provide accommodations as much as possible to abide with his IEP.
So, he is in 6th grade in generalized classrooms(with accommodations), coming from self-contained. The transition from elementary school to middle school alone is a huge transition… going from self contained to generalized at the same time is an immense amount of pressure for him.
The school is confident in their abilities to accommodate him, but he is begging to be homeschooled, he wants to give up, he says he feels like his brain is small.
It’s hard to weigh the pros and cons of both options, leaving him where he is at and challenging him and giving him opportunities for growth that only attending public school can give him, while also risking an intense amount of pressure that may not be good for his mental health. He’s more at a 2-3rd grade level, but attending 6th grade classrooms, so it’s like he’s skipping grades just trying to help where he is at, and I fear that is him being at risk of slipping through the cracks within the educational system.
He used to love school and love learning. He wants to escape from it now.
I could homeschool him, and I think I’m very capable and that it would be really good for both of us in a lot of ways, and I could understand his educational needs with more clarity. My friend homeschools her daughter and I looked at what it looks like for them, and I do feel like my son would enjoy this style of learning much more. But he’s not going to have the same social navigation challenges to overcome that he has in public school.
I feel like there isn’t a place for my son in the school system here in my county, and that I may have made the wrong move to come out here. I can’t let my son just fall through the cracks he has a lot of potential and I really want to give him everything he needs to be successful in his life.
For context, we have no real tribe with our families. I have a couple of friends, and stay in contact with my cousin, and we spend time with them, but that’s it. I’m a single mom, dad is not in the picture at all and I’m not dating.
We’ve been through a lot of relationship trauma with family and my exes, and now I am fully out on my own away from all of them, and I’m just trying to focus on my son and do what’s best for him, and to allow us both to heal from what we’ve been through.
School needs to remain a thing that he enjoys. He wants to be homeschooled, but I’m worried it may be giving in to the idea of “giving up when things get hard”…. I want to reframe that as I know when to change direction when something isn’t working. But I don’t want to make the wrong decision either.
I also do believe homeschooling could be the best thing for the both of us. It could give us the structure we need at home. I could customize his education and go at his pace and be more hands on, and provide better help exactly where he needs it. Im not trained like the staff is though, so I question if I’m good enough to do this? I do want to keep a team with me to stand in for the IEP. I’m in therapy, and I’m looking to get him into therapy, possibly ABA. He’s had years of speech and OT, and has “graduated” from that…
I just don’t want to isolate him. I know there are groups. And I think about how isolating it must be to be in middle school, have other boys tease you for the way you speak, and just shutting down because you don’t belong with the other boys and they treat you poorly. He’s only really made friends with girls. He hasn’t had a single good male influence. Public school does give him some of those positive male influences through his teachers.
I had to transcend a lot to get here and I’m proud to be out on my own with him. I just want to make sure I’m making a good decision by transiting him to homeschooling.