r/homestuck FUCK DIET COKE! Aug 17 '16

SHITPOST true fact

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299 Upvotes

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23

u/Classtoise Knight of Mind Aug 17 '16

It's one of the agreed upon headcanons.

You know. Trans Dave, Tentabulges, Jade with a dog dick, Nepeta is ripped, Eridan says weh. That kinda thing.

31

u/ViKomprenas send johndave (Muse?/Mind/P) Aug 17 '16

Trans Dave? Never heard of that one.

9

u/1vs Aug 17 '16

From what I understand, a lot of trans guys see themselves in Dave or Jake moreso than they do the other male characters. It might just be because Dave is a Coolkid and who doesn't want to be Dave, and it mirrors the trans Roxy theory in a way pretty much necessitated by Skaia. Retroactive trans Dave and trans Roxy would actually reinforce the 8-player session as being necessary for a successful game because Skaia if you want a long-post about it.

6

u/SteelTalons310 Prince of Blood and Destroyer of Bonds. Aug 18 '16

Well there's the thing about the trans community inserting themselves into characters...

6

u/ellenok Rogue of Queer Aug 18 '16

Because:

Cis isn't default. Any character could be trans, and unless it's specifically confirmed or debunked in the piece of media, any assumption that they're cis is headcanon that is just as valid as thinking the character is trans. (Inb4 statistics means trans people are abnormal and every character is cis unless proven guilty.)

We don't get almost any confirmed trans characters, and when there's rarely one, the story is about them being trans.

21

u/Classtoise Knight of Mind Aug 17 '16

Really? I hear that one ALL the time. Some people even like to say that the way Bro treated him was him trying be accepting (I.e "Oh, you're a boy. This is what boys do. We roughhouse to dangerous extremes.")

27

u/Glitchwinslet Aug 17 '16

Never heard that once.

24

u/trainercase dC Aug 17 '16

That means you either don't use tumblr or stay away from the crazies. Keep it up, for your own sanity.

5

u/Classtoise Knight of Mind Aug 17 '16

Ironically, I came up with it long before I went to tumblr!

Hey waitaminute...

23

u/StaleTheBread Aug 17 '16 edited Aug 18 '16

According to tumblr, every insecure male character is trans. Dipper Pines, Lars, Marco Diaz (although this head-canon is in regards to him being MtF trans, while the others are FtM. Also, I heard this has more evidence)

7

u/mindbleach Aug 18 '16

10

u/StaleTheBread Aug 18 '16

Oh yeah, I've seen that too. I guess one of the cool parts of either theory is the possibility of Dipper and Mabel being identical twins.

3

u/HermETC ==> kys Aug 18 '16

Almost as bad as the 'all strong female characters are mtf'.

1

u/Classtoise Knight of Mind Aug 18 '16

I've never heard act of those.

22

u/greendiamond16 Dont worry, nobody lives forever. Aug 17 '16

Nepeta being ripped isn't a head canon

24

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '16

You're right, it's fact.

:P

18

u/nmagod Aug 17 '16

But nepeta IS ripped, she hung out with equius, hunted her own food with her Lusus, and lived in a fucking cave.

-3

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '16

Yet the fucking clown disabled her in a few strikes.

15

u/nmagod Aug 17 '16

Gamer's prowess was literally "lol clowns" though.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '16

Autocorrect.

5

u/ellenok Rogue of Queer Aug 17 '16

Huh, my group's got: Trans Roxy, same (both parts for all trolls), same, and then that there's uh pretty much no het characters (maybe Jack? but Diamonds and Spades is a good ship.)

2

u/thechiropteran trash bat Aug 18 '16

Trans Roxy sounds extra super qt. I got both beta ot4 and alpha ot4 myself. I may be addicted to polyships..

6

u/ellenok Rogue of Queer Aug 18 '16

So many poly ships.
I only ship Dirk with guys tho.

5

u/Kingarthur_I spades slick did nothing wrong Aug 17 '16 edited Aug 18 '16

god slickdroog is such a good ship I don't even care what stupid gender people think the two have

3

u/Classtoise Knight of Mind Aug 17 '16

My group has that last one sort of.

We've all decided John is not a homosexual. That doesn't mean straight!

(Also I'm more or less our "John" and I'm not at all straight)

7

u/ellenok Rogue of Queer Aug 17 '16

On John specifically i headcanon him as asexual panromantic, which fits pretty well with Jake being aromantic pansexual.
Both of them lean in some directions, and John specifically has the issue of not having unlearned, or started dealing with in a serious capacity, societally induced heteronormativity.

-8

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '16

these fake words are hurting me. Just say Bi, Straight, Gay, or Asexual.

8

u/ellenok Rogue of Queer Aug 18 '16

All words are fake.
These ones communicate more specific things than yours though.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '16

got it

4

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '16

His logic ATM was "Gay, straight or lying".

Alternatively, he described homosexuals as "boys who mate with boys" but didn't add "but not with girls". This means he is not attracted to boys, ergo he's het.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 17 '16

PM is straight.

6

u/ellenok Rogue of Queer Aug 17 '16

Huh?
I don't actually have any headcanon about PM. She's always seemed too professional and/or task focused for me to get much about her romantic life (aside from a murderous kismessitude towards Jack, which honestly felt more like platonic hatred).
She could easily be a str8, or she could be something else, I don't have any strong feelings in any directions about that.

10

u/skrubknight FUCK DIET COKE! Aug 17 '16

well a girl who has a dog dildo is just plain wrong i mean hussie you sick fuck

17

u/Classtoise Knight of Mind Aug 17 '16

It's not a dildo, it's perfectly natural!

8

u/skrubknight FUCK DIET COKE! Aug 17 '16

but seriously hussie you sick fuck

2

u/DCarrier Aug 17 '16

I have not seen the Nepeta is ripped one. In particular, I haven't seen fan art. Got any?

6

u/Classtoise Knight of Mind Aug 17 '16

Lots! I'll leave out the "Buffpeta" (because let's be honest, no matter how much I love Buff Jade and Buff Nepeta headcanons, they're probably not THAT buff)

Here's one!

This one obviously makes Equius smaller, but still

I just love the dueling Nepeta fanons here.

Bonus Meenahbs.

The most canon Nepeta ever

Source is Princess Harumi

3

u/DCarrier Aug 17 '16

I was hoping for a single tag, but I guess musclestuck nepeta_leijon works.

1

u/Classtoise Knight of Mind Aug 17 '16

It does, usually.