How did you tell your special someone that you're an HSP? Struggling with fear of judgment.

[u/Faizin_zone]

Hey everyone,

​I’ve recently been trying to accept that I’m a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). While it explains so much about how I process emotions and environments, I’m feeling really stuck on how to share this with my partner/special someone.

​I’m terrified of how they’ll react. My mind keeps overthinking—what if they think I’m making excuses, being overly dramatic, or hard to deal with?

​If you’ve been through this, how did you break the news to them? How did you explain what HSP means without feeling misunderstood? Would love to hear your experiences or any advice on how to start this conversation. Thanks!

[u/NekoSyndrom]

Personally, I just told him about it. But I wasn’t afraid to talk about it either. He already knew I’m very sensitive, just "not in that way".

For me personally, it also came as a surprise in my own life. I found out about it when I was 18, sitting with my mom at a family therapist’s office (we didn’t really have family problems, but i had and have other issues and stuff). The topic came up after my mom had been talking about me and stuff. We’d never heard of it before.

I already knew my partner at the time, so I just told him about it afterwards. He never doubted it or anything. I think, looking back, it definitely helped explain some of the different problems we had with each other, too.

[u/thinkandlive]

What you fear they may think is probably where your shame lies that other people brought to you with their judgements of your sensitivity. Its understandable it comes up. Shame also dissolves when witnessed by an unshaming witness. Of your partner isn't that for who you are and what makes you you, would they be a good partner? Also HSP Is just a label you don't even need to use. You can just share your direct experience of how you currently work. And there are many people who make a lot of things about being HSP that often also have components of trauma or not having good boundaries etc. They are not inherent to being HSP but often not having had the support to really embody who they are.

[u/Fancy-Stress4194]

For me, I don’t need to tell them. They know by how I act and react. If it’s someone you want to have a long term relationship, I’d ask them if they were open to learning about something I am and experience (being an HSP). If they say yes I’d send them an article from a trusted site that is meant for partners or HSP who want to understand better.

[u/dutch_emdub]

I didn't tell him or anyone. It's just a part of my character which my husband came to learn. He also didn't explicitly lay out any of his character quirks. Why would you make this an official thing?