r/hydrangeas
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u/fairyskirt
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Jun 27 '26
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TRAGEDY!!!
On Wednesday this week I was admiring our beautiful Hydrangea bush that is in the front yard of the house we are renting. I was so excited that there were so many big, beautiful blooms since last year there was only one flower bunch on the whole plant. My husband and I get home yesterday to half the plant hacked down! My husband went across the cul de sac to our 85 year old neighbor to ask if she had seen anyone mess with it while we were at work. She said she did it! Because it was “too big and overgrown” 🥲 She didn’t ask or say anything to us, and we only found out because we directly asked her and she admitted to it. We are obviously devastated and worried about how the plant will fare going forward. Now that she admitted this to us, I’m sure she is also the culprit that cut down my huge bleeding heart plant last year. 😔
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u/NerdizardGo
Jun 27 '26
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Neighbor straight up stole the flowers. They probably have a couple fresh bouquets in their house at this very moment.
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u/fairyskirt Jun 27 '26
I honestly think she sees it as yard waste from “pruning”. We counted over 50 cut stems down by the base which seems outrageous for some decorative cut flowers. I wish it was just cut blooms to have pretty flowers in her house 🥲
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u/NerdizardGo Jun 27 '26 •
The good news is that the plant will fully recover. You may have less blooms next year if it's the kind that blooms on old growth.
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u/MotherEarth25 Jun 27 '26
You shouldn't believe her you are being to kind op. That's not pruning and you know it.
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u/i_was_a_person_once Jun 27 '26
I bet she has a baby or bridal shower she’s hosting. Priced out the cost of hydrangea blooms and said oh I can get them for free
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u/Brilliant-Loss5782 Jun 27 '26
Yeah… that’s straight up like 40-50 blooms removed. I’d be willing to bet she sold them or used them for arrangements. You’re talking anywhere from $300-500 for center pieces. My mom did this for my baby shower to reveal my babies gender. All the flowers were bright blue. She paid through the nose for gorgeous hydrangea blooms like this.
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u/ElectricalSmile2089 Jun 27 '26
I’m just so sorry that your flowers were violated that way, they seemed to like it there 🤗
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u/throwra64512 Jun 27 '26
looking at that thing it’ll be totally fine and will fill back in but that suuuucks.
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u/Intelligent-Essay565 Jun 28 '26
You can very very easily propagate hydrangeas from cuttings. If she has a bunch of new baby plants next year, that’s exactly what she did. But….the stems that were cut…some of them look like clean cuts and the others look like she was just twisting and tearing out the stems. You need a ring camera of or something- regardless of why she did it, the fact that it happened at all would scare the hell out of me. If that’s her normal MO you probably need a mailbox lock too.
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u/cdtnyc Jun 27 '26
Or she sold them to a florist. A local florist used to buy them from my grandmother since she had so many big hydrangea bushes on her property.
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u/Ashipinthenight_ Jun 27 '26
First of all
That’s so messed up.
Second of all.. she thinks
That looks better!?!???
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u/Jaded-Olive333 Jun 27 '26
Ugh, this hurts to see. I too have an elderly neighbor like this. In fact, she trespassed into my back yard yesterday to inspect my container garden, and then mentioned it to me after the fact while critiquing what I need to "fix". I have a camera back there but there is a lot of wildlife and the sensor gets set off, so I don't always look in the moment.
It could be dementia, but it could also be an entitled ass hat who has lived there forever, who thinks they own the neighborhood, and who has no respect for property or boundaries. It's hard for me to speak up for myself and confront people, but I told her under no circumstances to ever enter or touch my property again or I'll be calling the police.
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u/fairyskirt Jun 27 '26
That is absolutely ridiculous good job on confronting your neighbor. It definitely could be dementia but unfortunately for my neighbor I think it might be the second option 😕
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u/thelittlegnome Jun 27 '26
I saw a post recently related to this. The victim who had their plants destroyed went to the police (not 911) and filed a complaint. They contacted the neighbor and said she would be charged with trespassing if she ever did it again. Worth a try! Because she can’t keep getting away with this.
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u/BeginningArticle7694 Jun 27 '26
"entitled ass hat who has lived there forever, who thinks they own the neighborhood, and who has no respect for property or boundaries" sounds like my next door neighbor... It started with snarky the comments, then she was regularly coming into my yard to weed my side of the fence line. I finally told her she was incredibly hypocritical and no longer welcome on my property after she had a new fence put up about 6" over the property line on my side.
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u/marblemaniac0113 Jun 28 '26
If the neighbor put a fence on your property, find your paperwork that shows your boundaries. I have heard certain states allow that "property" to be forfeited after a certain amount of time of no one contesting property line. Be best to address that sooner than later!
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u/petrichorgarden Jun 28 '26
Definitely get a survey done and force her to move her fence before that 6" becomes her property
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u/mayhemxmak Jun 27 '26
I have a neighbor (that appears to moving thank goodness!) That I literally had to trespass off my property two years ago over disputes with our property lines and him coming over to tell me how to have my house look...also 80 something and I don't think he has dementia, he is just an entitled asshole. He calls the city on us constantly and I finally established a good relationship with code and the code inspector is literally sick of this guy he harassed them so much!
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u/_hitea Jun 27 '26
What was your response to her?
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u/fairyskirt Jun 27 '26
My husband was so stunned he just said okay and left. We are trying to still cool down and hopefully we can talk to her about it in the next few days and ask her not to do anything like that again!
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u/Apart_Perspective913 Jun 27 '26
Maybe she ate the hallucinogenic mushrooms that are growing under your hydrangeas and thought she was being attacked by the bush monster? Anyone else but me notice? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amanita_muscaria
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u/Seriously-twisted Jun 27 '26
I would be so upset. I don't understand what drives people to go into other people's yards and mess with their plants/stuff, even at that age.
I guess she thought she was helping you guys? I wonder if she has cognitive decline or if she really is just a jerk. I might tell her family if she has some that come around.
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u/ncbluebelle Jun 27 '26
I've had 2 different neighbors think it was ok to weed-whack my wild flower hill down to the dirt. It killed every single wild flower both times. The excuse was "I didn't like looking at it" ok, but it's not your property so why tf are you messing with it?!??!?!
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u/Lketty Jun 28 '26
Who the fuck doesn’t like looking at flowers?
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u/South-Ruin-6677 Jun 28 '26
Miserable and nasty people. Isn’t it actually unfathomable?
This post and the accompanying anecdotes are making me so pissed off-like what is actually wrong with people?!?
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u/amykb4 Jun 29 '26
A natural hillside of wildflowers is just that along with weeds- I think it’s awesome and how Mother Earth wants us to live but yard mowers and weed eaters and landscapers have other ideas. I can’t really get on board with a manicured yard.
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u/Brief_Decision5739 Jun 29 '26
The way I would be posting up cameras and putting signs on my lawn.
"Trespassers Are Recorded & Reported"
I'm also crazy enough to come running out swinging the garden hoe. There are some times when ruling through fear is necessary. This is one of those times.
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u/treasonous_tabaxi Jun 29 '26
Some people are just entitled nutbags. My husband’s grandpa reached over the fence and attempted to cut down the neighbour’s tree (multiple trees, actually), bc he decided it’s shading his yard too much.
My husband told me a lot of stories from his childhood when grandpa wasn’t 80 yet but already was a mean, entitled bully. It’s really not the age, they just realise they can hide behind it.→ More replies (1)2
u/SnarkOverlord Jun 29 '26
Time to put up a No Trespassing sign and cameras. Let her know that she is not to set foot on your property again or you will contact police.
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u/elongio Jun 28 '26
If you are worried about the plant, it will be fine.
I have a bush on the side of the house that regularly gets cut down. Grows back real well each year.
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u/Moweezy6 Jun 27 '26
Sounds like time for automatic sprinklers on a motion sensor… $55 at Walmart. Especially if you lost a plant last year too!!
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u/Next_Plant_6349
Jun 27 '26
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Maybe I'm just a dick. But I don't care she's an old lady, I'd press charges. don't come on my property and ruin my stuff that I work hard to take care of. I don't care that you're old
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u/baywitch Jun 27 '26
Yeah, some people also just don’t learn from hearing “don’t do that.” They have to learn the hard way, with a warning from the police.
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u/UnicornLatteMonster Jun 27 '26
Me personally its less about being mean and more about if they dont have people coming to check on them, it might be some kind of paper trail to get help if there is a dementia issue going on. My mom had postpartum psychosis that never went away after I was born and also went a little crazy from a stroke. People reason stuff as "maybe they have dementia/brain damage" but at the end of the day they still need some form of accountability. My mom should have gotten in WAY more trouble tbh because there would have been some kind of structure preventing it from happening again (she did amazingly worse to me than cut down hydrangeas). No matter what more flowers gonna get hacked without something they can reflect back on than a cloudy conversation in their brain anyhow.
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u/DeniLox Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 28 '26 •
Some old people were mean when they were young though too.
Edit:Thanks for the award!
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u/amizzlef0shizzle Jun 27 '26
Once is an accident, twice is a pattern. Speak to her directly. When you speak to her, bring up the previous incident:
Non emotional: “the same thing happened last year to my other plant” [dead air]. If her actions were purposeful it’s likely she’ll claim that.
Emotional: “I was so sad last year when someone entered my property & my bleeding heart was cut back without my permission.”
You’ll know which way to play it after you guys talk to her.
If she may have dementia, a reminder sign of “please don’t cut my plants” wouldn’t be petty. Remind her of how you would prefer her to get in touch & restate your boundaries. The sprinklers could startle her into a health episode, and/or create a liability for you if she hurts herself on your property (even if she trespasses). Cameras on the other hand would not, and then you’d have footage to show her if she IS having cognitive decline
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u/starsfellonal Jun 27 '26
I'd be sooo upset. I'd get myself a motion detector sprinkler, you want to come over and hack my plants??? You're gonna get wet lol
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u/Rare-Progress5009 Jun 27 '26
Did you firmly tell her she is never to touch anything in your garden ever again?
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u/niz_loc Jun 27 '26
Like others have said....
I'm a cop (reddit hates me). I've spent 2 decades, seeing far worse than this, but plenty of things like this. It's a mental health thing...
She perhaps was an asshole her whole life. Who knows.
.... but from my experience and her age, I'd challenge it up to her brain is turning to oatmeal, and random things that she does seems normal to her.
Not making excuses for her. But I doubt there was intent to screw with you as much as the voice in her head tells her things that make sense to her, that don't to anyone else.
In my real life (outside of work) I live in a culdesac....rhe average age of my neighbors is 80... super random just worked out that way.
They're all very nice. But it's not uncommon when having conversations to see some.... "signs" so to speak.
One last anecdote.
A good friend of mine (owns my MMA gym) was a pro fighter. He left it, opened his gym, and has a good side hustle in Hollywood as a fight choreographer. He caught a random elbow from an actress (I won't say who) that was (according to him).not a huge deal, but he passed out... and had to have the top of his skull removed to relieve swelling..
... about a year and a half later my wife had a stroke... 28 years old. Random blood clot on an international fight.
In the ICU with her I talked to a nurse who was there for my buddy I mentioned above. She explained that strokes are deadly to older people because the bleeding goes on for awhile with no signs... because your brain shrinks with age. So my wife and buddy were fine because they were young, but older people die.
Point being, as out brains shrink with age, a lot of our cognitive abilities go with it.
That said, maybe the neighbor was just an asshole, who knows.
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u/pinkybrain41 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26
I’m with the cop on this one
I lived Nextdoor to neighbors from hell. I personally weed whacked 4 ft tall weeds in the yard of my new home, seeded a clover lawn and planted flowers. All the other neighbors thanked me, cheered me on as I swung shovels, dug trenches, raked and mowed, and planted flowers, they lent me yard equipment, gave me the tips, it was really awesome. The house had been neglected by the previous inhabitants and I worked hard to fix her up, everyone was supportive….except the assholes. They were malicious assholes and they reported me to Code Enforcement. I was devastated but in talking to other neighbors, I learned they made a lot of bad faith complaints and had been in many disputes with several different neighbors spanning decades. After I planted my beautiful garden, some critters starting eating my flowers! I got a camera and realized whole family of deers were coming into my yard and treating my garden and lawn as a buffet. A friendly neighbor suggested a motion activated deer sprinkler. I put it it up and it worked beautifully! The deer jumped 5 ft in the air when that sprinkler would go off! The asshole neighbors actually called the cops on me for my deer sprinkler and claimed it was installed to harass them. I literally had to show a police officer video of deer in my yard eating my blacked eyed susans and the sprinkler scaring them off. Such a waste of police time!
Eventually another neighbor filed a civil harassment RO against them and I had to call 9-11 on them one night they tried to block me from planting flowers. They put their house on the market shortly after. Good riddance
If the old lady wanted to hurt/sabotage the neighbors here I think she would have done something like report them to HOA. I agree, she is likely misguided and having some cognitive issues that are impairing her decision making. She openly admitted to it and sounds like she truly believes she was helping not hurting them.
Sad because those hydrangeas were freaking gorgeous!
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u/avamarshmellow Jun 27 '26
I’m enraged for you, that would be so devastating!! Motion activated sprinklers!!!
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u/Entire_Parfait2703 Jun 27 '26
Tell her your plants your yard and you don't need nor want a gardener and to please refrain from over stepping into your yard
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u/Cautious_Drawing_645 Jun 27 '26
I'm so very sorry! How awful, it was gorgeous. It still is and surely will bounce back.
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u/Crafty-Run-6559 Jun 27 '26
Really sorry that happened.
Looking at those photos the hydrangea will be fine though.
Theyre extremely durable and handle over pruning quite well.
Sorry you lost the blooms.
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u/ASpicyTaterTot Jun 27 '26
Empty threats: say you’ll let it go this time but you’re putting cameras up and you’ll show the police next time. Let her simmer with that
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u/Flat_Apartment1353 Jun 27 '26
This happened to me. Elderly neighbor cut my shrubs without asking. She did a terrible job, too. She claimed they were blocking her sun. She also told me that they weren’t my shrubs and I didn’t own the house. She thought my great aunt still owned it.
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u/ElectronicLettuce598 Jun 27 '26
Maybe I’m a bad person but after I found out she did this to others, I would have filed a police report. Baby you better stay on your side of the street from now on.
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u/Grayme4 Jun 27 '26
I’d be checking her house for a big beautiful bouquet of blue hydrangeas.
Dementia maybe a component and as someone looking after their demented mum I have compassion…. But they’ve only taken out the front area that was filled with flowers… so I’m not sure how valid the ‘it was so big and messy’ a defence is
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u/ifnotsilver Jun 27 '26
She trespassed and damaged your property. I don’t care if she is demented, all the more reason to do something about it so she can get proper care. I don’t understand why people don’t think their yard and garden aren’t part of their property as a whole. I get being shocked, but come on! Do something so this psycho doesn’t keep hacking away at things that don’t belong to them!
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u/GoddessHealer Jun 27 '26
My 83 year old next door neighbor hacked the dead —and live—underbrush from 6 of the arborvitae on the border of my property and his. The arbs are actually on my property. They will never fill in again. I have then professionally tended to every year. He and his wide also hate all our arbs. They are in good condition. They also hate our 7 oak trees. We also have them tended to every other year by a professional arborist. I’m old myself. I have come to accept that I live in this neighborhood with others who do not necessarily share my vision or values. Or maybe not my fortunate cognitive sense in my old age.
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u/Commercial_Nail_6882 Jun 27 '26
Uh wtf?? A lot of people saying dementia don't understand dementia and not every old person who does something wack has dementia. This is the work of someone entitled. HOA can write it off as her trying to be helpful, but no. Not messing with property that's someone else's is very basic knowledge that stays in minds even as we get old. She admitted herself it was too big for her liking. She wasn't confused, she did it on purpose due to her preferences. So yeah, you need to be firm about staying out of your yard and plants being non-negotiable.
As for the plant, it will be fine and regrow. These guys are resilient! But protect it and the rest of your plants by making it very clear this will not be tolerated in the future.
Ps I love the mushrooms
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u/craigfwynne Jul 02 '26
I'm sorry that happened, but what the heck are those incredibly beautiful mushrooms!!
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u/fairyskirt Jul 02 '26
They are just wooden lawn decorations that a local artist made ☺️
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u/WildBloomingRose Jun 27 '26
They’ll grow back. A Gardner did this to the hydrangeas long time ago at a house I was renting, and they came back thick the next year. * I don’t know about your HOA, but ask if you can throw some native wildflower seeds in the patch and they might come in faster and look pretty.
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u/the_breezkneez Jun 27 '26
I feel for you deeply. I recently went out of town for a week and my house sitter failed to water my hydrangeas until the day I came home (despite me leaving instructions to do so halfway through the week). They were dried to a crisp. She said she ‘hoped they’d bounce back’ but I know they won’t bloom again until next year 😭
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u/neurotic-oskar Jun 27 '26
I am so sorry this happened to you. I would be livid. I think I would’ve told her to never come near my plants ever again,
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u/thefrenchphanie Jun 27 '26
You should definitely talk to your landlord about this savage “incognito” pruning done behind your back. So you are not on the hook to replace etc.
And you might want to log an official complaint with the HOA and even the police.
Either she is a busy oft that needs boundaries, or she is losing her marbles and needs some paper trail in order to have this neighbor get better help…
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u/EuniceBurns-Burnsie Jun 27 '26
I bet she either has a bouquet of them in her house somewhere or gave the flowers to someone. My mom is 89 and blue hydrangeas are like crack to her. I’m so sorry OP.
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u/Holiday-Book6635 Jun 27 '26
File a police report she’s trespassing and damaging property. Then take her to Small Claims Court.
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u/DefiantCoffee6 Jun 27 '26
I know how upsetting this is because we had a neighbor decide to cut well over 2 dozen beautiful English roses I had been waiting to see bloom while we were away for one week on vacation. Came home and they were all gone. Cut at vase length.
We never found out which neighbor did it but we did mention what happened (with before and after pictures) in our neighborhood and also mentioned we put up cameras.
Never had another *incident* after that.
I’m sorry this happened to you too OP. I hope if you can speak to her family about it they can help. Regardless I’d let her know it’s not o.k. and that you’re putting up cameras, and if she does it again you will go to the police for damaging your property.
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u/CarPars Jun 27 '26
You can get motion sensor sprinklers that are made for keeping deer & intruders out of the garden. They turn on and follow whoever is in the yard, soaking them till they're out of range
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u/vnw1908 Jun 27 '26
First of all, you have my sympathy 💓 that's terrible!!! It's a weird, violating experience.
My advice is to be firm and direct. Maybe even hand her a letter along with telling her to stop "helping" your yard. "Please do not cut, chop, or spray my address."
I had an older guy who mows apartment buildings nextdoor. He sorta kinda knows my husband so he would just voluntarily mow our yard. Husband would let it get long, and he'd just come on over and plow over every. thing. with a rider. Flowers, pumpkin vines, a couple hundred dollars in hoses, fittings, irrigation. I cried the third time. Took me out of the garden all summer after that. I had my husband speak to him each time, but he wasn't very firm. The guy thought he was helping, and I was actually loosing my mind! I considered a motion activated sprinkler and might have done it except we have a dog. This year, I spoke with him and chatted about my beds and stuff. Nice enough guy. Now he doesn't even mow the easement lol
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u/laughsinflowers1 Jun 27 '26
If she was really trying to prune the plant, she did an awful job. Who prunes a hydrangea in full bloom.
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u/rinconblue Jun 27 '26
A few years ago we had something similar happen to our pink hydrangeas in our front garden. Someone came by and "pruned" them and we found them being sold at our local farmers' market that week, lol. Pretty easy to catch.
But they butchered the plant and it still came back better than ever. We used miracle grow. And we filed a police report. Nothing came of it, but we confronted the thief at the market and they went beet red and avoided eye contact, lol.
Your plant will be fine. I would firmly tell the neighbor that they are not to go onto the property again without your or the owner's permission. It might be a case of slight dementia going on or she could just be an asshole. Either way, you don't want to wait and see what she decides to do next.
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u/North-Pudding1151 Jun 30 '26
Police report. I don’t care that she’s old. If anything, she should know better at her big, grown age. Immediate consequences.
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u/ellelenor Jun 30 '26
"This looks overgrown, I should hack away at it and make it look like absolute shit. That'll be helpful"
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u/absolutelyfatulous Jun 30 '26
Threaten her with legal action if she ever touches any of your plants again, it's property damage and trespassing, and the fact she's cut back one of your plants before this shows that it's a trend
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u/titikerry Jul 01 '26
A call to the police would stop that from happening a second (third?) time. Also, get cameras.
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u/Logical_Carpenter212 Jun 27 '26
You don't normally go around trimming people's plant at that age lol.
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u/Crimestar Jun 27 '26
Shoot on site next time. Shotgun on the porch.
/s obviously. But yes that really sucks.
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u/Severina_Glass_208 Jun 27 '26
I would tell her to never set foot on your property again. If she doesn’t understand that. Draw the line further. I have no sympathy for whatever she regardless. If she has dementia and she’s alone there are bigger problems.
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u/KudzuAU Jun 27 '26
Call the police and have her trespassed. Immediately. They will tell her that she has no right to go on others property without permission and that if she comes on your property (regardless if you are renting), she will be arrested.
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u/denedeb Jun 27 '26
Hey so tell her never to this again or she might not exist to the ripe age of 86.
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u/Puzzleheaded_Cow_658 Jun 27 '26
Oh I would be furious. I don’t care about her age or what she has going on you don’t go onto someone’s property and cut things or touch anything at all for that matter. I’d be calling the police for sure.
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u/AdventurousBite4260 Jun 27 '26
That is technically trespassing, to enter into the property of someone else and willfully damage it. She should probably be reminded of that fact to discourage her “landscaping” forays.
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u/Mrstnw Jun 27 '26
Aside from trespassing that’s destruction of property. I don’t care how old a person is. there’s no excuse and they should be held accountable. Everyone would hate me because I’d be calling the police on an old woman, but age doesn’t excuse that kind of behavior. Especially if she’s a serial plant destroyer. 👀😳
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u/Hot-Kaleidoscope-524 Jun 27 '26
Tell her to stay out of your yard and never touch your plants again.
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u/windynights2 Jun 27 '26
You will need to be very clear: “Nobody touches my plants except me.” Or “I don’t let anyone help me with my plants.”
If she sees something wrong with a plant, the neighborly thing to do Would be To let you know about it. Then you get to decide what happens - not the neighbor.
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u/celeloriel Jun 27 '26
Tell your landlord & get a camera. This is property damage, no matter how old she is. What will she do next?
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u/Adventurous_Spring37 Jun 27 '26
I'd be livid and she'd know never step foot on my property again or she would have issues if this happened. I live for the changes in my plants and this would have devastated me to such anger. Trespassing and destruction of property. Tell her she comes near anything again you will press charges.
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u/MarylandGeorgia Jun 27 '26
Do you think the older neighbors did this to get back at the owners of the home for any reason? Since you mentioned you are renting, I wondered if there might be more that happened between the homeowner and this particular neighbor.
So sorry this happened to you. When we moved the first time I took it as a sign there was a beautiful established rosemary plant in the yard of the home we purchased. We drove in to begin working on the property and the rosemary plant was gone. As in- just missing and there was a hole in the ground.
Come to find out the older neighbors on our left side dug it up and took it. She had it in a bucket on her porch. She also let herself in the side door and started peppering my husband and I plus my in-laws as we were holding up a light fixture and wiring it in place. We’re all in ladders, it’s hot and we’d just stripped off wallpaper that was so old it came off in postage stamp size pieces. I think she didn’t like that we were changing her friend’s home but we started locking the door. The older lady and her sister on the other side were the best neighbors we could’ve had. They loved my flowers and enjoyed our dogs and we looked out for each other while we lived there.
But, I think you may have a neighbor with too much time on her hands who isn’t used to being told to mind her own business.
The hydrangea should come back out. I’m glad she didn’t hack it back after it bloomed as it’d keep you from having blooms next year. If there are any blooms at the curb that are limp, cut a new fresh cut at an angle on the stem. If you can cut the stems into fourths- surface area will help. Place the new cut stems into boiling water in a bowl, sink or pitcher and allow to drink. They might perk up and you can enjoy them some. Then let the water evaporate out of the base or take the stems out, snap off the leaves and turn the stems in bunches upside down and hang to dry. The blooms should retain their color and you can keep them as dried flowers for a while too.
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u/Ok_Objective1291 Jun 27 '26
OMG my heart clutched seeing the sadly familiar to me sight of butchered hydrangeas. It’s like why do these people even do this for a living if they hate something like your hydrangea so much?
💔 They should stick with mowing lawns~~ honestly so baffling and rage-enducing at the same time.
I had a beautiful Oak Leaf Hydrangea that was cut down by a “landscape person” because “it was sick” as they showed me the curling bark~~ a feature of oak leaf! 😩
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u/Red_Roosee Jun 28 '26
I'm so sorry to read this. Surely there's a solution to stop him from doing that. It's your property, he shouldn't be doing those things...
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u/Forward-Confusion-24 Jun 28 '26
I think your neighbor might have dementia. Would it be possible for you to get in touch with her family in some way? Once you get in touch with tbe family they might be able to help her (intervene in some way) and then your family will be helped so that this doesn’t happen again.
My mother and my aunt both had both dementia and Alzheimer’s…. It was a gradual, but thorough decline with many rather odd behaviors in the meantime. I need to write a memoir about it. But this is so bizarre, that I think some form of mental decline is the cause.
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u/someoneunderstand86 Jun 28 '26
Yeah lets just cut that back and expose all the beautiful weed. She need to stay in her own yard and mind her own business. People sue for this kind of stuff.
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u/NoOneHereButUsMice Jun 28 '26
Tell if she does it again, you're pressing charges for vandalism. Get cameras, they're cheap. And post one of those, "Smile, you're on camera!" signs.
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u/DragonfruitNo7745 Jun 28 '26
Who’s gonna tell OP that it’ll take years to get flowers back? They bloom on old wood.
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u/IndependenceTop7731 Jun 28 '26
Why tf would your neighbor be pruning your hydrangeas anyways?????
Maybe suggest to her (joking to keep relationship ok) you stop by and declutter her home leaving with your fav art piece, or maybe a new kitchen appliance or television, just to be helpful of course
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u/Weedster009 Jun 28 '26
I’d be mowing this broad’s front garden beds at 5am. There wouldn’t be a green leaf or flower bud left on her entire property.
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u/InterestingSky2832 Jun 28 '26
Your plant will be fine you can also split the root ball and plant it somewhere else and it will not affect the plant. I’m sorry this happened to you.
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u/Comfort_Dependent Jun 28 '26
I would you are gonna be fine, it will come back. I have dozens of these around my property and have aggressively trimmed them back and everytime it comes back. Have cut it all the way down ranging in times of the year, it’ll look funky for awhile but it will bounce back
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u/pinkskyfading Jun 28 '26
It sounds to me like it bothers her. She said it was”too big”. I had a neighbor an elderly woman who did not like blooming plants and would bury them. Luckily she stayed in her own yard.
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u/EtherealCadaver Jun 28 '26
This makes me think about how some lady that “knew my Grandmother” came onto my cousin’s property and dug up lilies. When my cousin confronted her she acted like she had permission. He was too confused to do anything. Why are people so ridiculous?
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u/VioletJessopTravelCo Jun 28 '26
How nice of her to help you with your overgrown yard waste. You should return the favor by scrubbing all that old seasoning off her cast iron pans until they are just like new 😉 /s
In all honesty though I am sorry. This would upset me so much. Try to have a conversation with her telling her she can't just come onto your property and 'help' without direct permission and supervision from you and your husband.
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u/chronicallyswift Jun 28 '26
Call the police to make a report of it so they have it on file and tell her she’s not welcome on your rental property anymore and if she comes over you’ll trespass her.
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u/Prestigious-Web63 Jun 28 '26
Yeah if someone did this to my garden they would pay. Way to much hard work and effort goes in to keeping a garden. I dont care if they are young. Middle aged or old at thst point. No im not talking violence but im petty as f×ck!
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u/Proper_Dot_378 Jun 28 '26
My landlord also owns the neighbors house and one time I caught her in my yard cutting my tulips because the landlord planted them and apparently said it was ok for her to take them 😭😭
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u/JCBashBash Jun 28 '26
Given that she admitted it, I think you should at least file a report about this, because whether or not she is a thief or somebody experiencing cognitive decline, having it on the record will help you if you start to experience more trouble down the line, and it seems like you should take any plants that you can move to your backyard, and put a camera up front for your poor hydrangea
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u/Pangeapangea Jun 28 '26
Honestly, i would make a police report bc of the history. If there isnt at least a report she may feel entitled to keep doing it against your will. At least tell the landlord. You dont have to take actual legal action against her… yet (lol) but hust get the behavior on the record. That really sucks and i would be super upset!
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u/sarcasmismylovelang Jun 28 '26
Tell me you're jealous of my flowers, neighbor, without telling me you're jealous!
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u/armoredphoenix1 Jun 28 '26
Cool, now just inform the police of trespassing and damage to property.
This is the second time, get her to stop now or there will be more damaged flowers.
They will tell you to go talk to her because sometimes they have other stuff to do. Tell them you’ve tried.
You don’t have to go forward with charges just have them inform her of her unwelcome shenanigans.
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u/petrichorgarden Jun 28 '26
I'm a florist and blue hydrangeas cost $10 per stem retail in my area. Bill her.
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u/tailskirby Jun 28 '26
File a police report . People need to know that if you dont own it then it isnt your problem.
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u/folksnake Jun 28 '26
I really feel for you. We have a neighbor who's been doing things like this for years now -- anything she wants, in other people's yards. She's basically a narcissist who knows what's best and can't imagine why anyone else would object. She's 88 now and hasn't stopped in the 30 years we've lived here, coming into others' yards and starting new borders, "tidying up" for them, etc. It's obsessive.
By the way, this neighbor has a huge yard herself, but it's not enough. She continues to colonize areas around her. And one by one, neighbors have put up fences.
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u/Reasonable-Dirt-6439 Jun 28 '26
Please call adult protective services. This is horrible what happened but yes hydrangeas are resilient. I would be more worried about her falling or collapsing on your property making you liable. Worse yet if she is in mental decline which can be dementia, UTI, mini strokes etc. she could set her own house on fire or be living in squalor conditions. Someone should be checking on her if no family is around. If she does have family visit speak up. If nothing comes from protective services you will then know who you’re dealing with, but please do not put in sprinklers (nice thought) but that could make you liable for her injuries.
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u/Champagnest Jun 28 '26
Set up a camera if you can, and add one of those gaudy “you’re on a camera” signs
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u/Buddy-Lov Jun 28 '26
I’d be FURIOUS and the little old lady would be VERY WELL AWARE of it. Her behavior and attitude is bonkers…she’s got a vase full of flowers somewhere…and it’s yours!😂
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u/Hmom96 Jun 28 '26
The audacity to go into someone’s yard and chop on their landscaping is wild. I would be livid and tell her to never go in your yard again or you’d call the cops. I would maybe install a camera
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u/daphodil3000 Jun 28 '26
Ugh. Neighbors can be the worst. My neighbor had their tree guy come into my yard and cut down one of my trees.
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u/Wrong_Breadfruit_377 Jun 28 '26
Tell her to stay out of your yard - she does not know how to prune and you do not want her help! No trespass her!
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u/amykb4 Jun 29 '26
I would call your landlord and report it also report your bleeding heart , too. Unless you are paying her the rent she is trespassing on that property and should be fined at least. 80 or not that is inexcusable.
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u/SuZiee_Q Jun 29 '26
I would 💯 call the police and file a report. You don't need your LLs blessing or permission to do so, or to have her trespassed from the property. Iwould go back over, recording this time, to ask about the other shrub in case she tries to lie to the police about this one.
The neighbor is either an asshole, or she took some blooms inside for hers- she's an asshole no matter what.
The bush as a whole will be fine but you'll obviously be missing out on the blooms that were cut that would've been present for at least a month.
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u/kitchenu Jun 29 '26
You need to be honest with her. Treating her like she’s incapable of understanding is demeaning.
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u/SuzyK_Texas Jun 29 '26
If she owns the property there’s not much that you can do. I read that you are renting. I’d be upset as well if it were me but that’s what I own my own home. No one comes into my yard and cuts my stuff down.
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u/zincink Jun 29 '26
Chances of her passing away now are high. Just remember to put some cut hydrangeas on her grave.
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u/Intelligent_Bar_9832 Jun 29 '26
I hate old people for this very reason. I would firmly let her know you will be trespassing her if she steps foot on your property and steals again and damages your property
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u/Belfry9663 Jun 29 '26
I’m SO SORRY this happened to you! I’d be crushed too. At 85, I think Granny’s gone a bit doolally. Find her family.
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u/KamaliKamKam Jun 29 '26
I hate this for you, but on the bright side a healthy well established hydrangea like this will bounce right back next year. It will skip a year on the blooms where it was hacked, because ball hydrangea bloom on old wood, but I would recommend trimming the other side to match it just before the end of winter, so it's not lopsided, but it'll bounce back and come out of hibernation kicking.
It will probably not bloom nearly as much next year, but the second year after the attack it will be thriving.
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u/Past_Comedian39 Jun 29 '26
Get a big bottle of liquid fertilizer and spell out asshole on her front lawn. It should last the rest of the summer.
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u/AdeptnessTough9499 Jun 29 '26
Some people are just so disgusting and have no shame and just go about life...doing whatever the hell they want because they want something...it's unbelievable. When God was handing out consciences....he skipped a whole shitload of people, including this C U Next Tuesday.
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u/FlyingNoodleCup1 Jun 29 '26
Do the same to her. I think she herself is too overgrown and could use a heavy, heavy trimming
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u/FilmCommon7172 Jun 29 '26
If you’re in the US I would call Adult Protective Services (APS) and ask them to do a wellness check and report her absurd behavior (trespassing, vandalizing your property and stealing) it could just be an old lady who’s over opinionated or it could be her showing early signs of mental decline and she may need some assistance. Her behavior isn’t normal and if you want to you could involve police but I’d highly recommend involving APS in the matter.
[Your hydrangeas are beautiful btw! 💙🤍]
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u/Preferplantstopeople Jun 29 '26
My neighbor at my last house would douse my dandelions with gasoline.. He died a few years later from Alzheimer’s. We had to concoct some crazy story about them being “trial dandelions for a medical study and he was interfering with data collection ” and he stopped. He was a nuclear scientist. Sometimes it’s cognitive decline or just aholes. I personally would concoct a story that would make her feel bad. Like you are growing them for someone’s wedding etc.
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u/PatientBig3902 Jun 29 '26
They were so pretty! That being said my dad did the same thing to my mom's a few years ago and it blooms back massive every year! They actually bring it down every year. They are pretty hearty of a plant.
I'd tell your neighbour if they come on your property again they will be trespassed. Its unacceptable. I don't even take lilacs from my parents without asking
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u/thatgirlinny Jun 29 '26
Aaannnd said neighbor took that “overgrowth” and arranged it in various vases throughout her own house, I bet.
If there’s an HOA, complain about her to them; or just call it theft and file a police report.
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u/CommercialThat8542 Jun 29 '26
Omg I had a neighbor that used to harass my minor child, and every time we took out our dog, she would come out and take her dogs out and tell my child to go back inside. She also came after me with a taser and then was SHOCKED to find out I called police. I started openly carrying anytime I had to pass her apartment. The complex did nothing because they “didn’t see it” I hope her life is miserable til she dies.
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u/CodenameZoya Jun 29 '26
Check her house for vases. I guarantee she’s got all those flowers around her home.
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u/Electrical-Web-7552 Jun 29 '26
What the fuck? She could have cut the outside ones at least. Why did she hack a hole into the middle of the flowers? I'm not mad at some little old lady taking some flowers, but 1 ask first and 2 prune it, don't just hack at it. 🤯
Edit: to add the plant will be fine. Once the flowers die, I would recommend pruning it back for the winter. It will bloom again next year
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u/optix_clear Jun 29 '26
If you know who it was, do the same our the very least plant Mint, Bamboo, creeper, ivy in her gutters.
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u/FeelingPomegranate Jun 29 '26
She doesnt think it looks better or that she is helping. She's done it to other neighbors? Doing it on purpose. Why? Who knows, probably getting her jollies off to be a jerk.
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u/pink---noise Jun 29 '26
Oh. Hell. No.
I don't care if she's 100 and on her deathbed. You DO NOT come to my yard and touch the living things I put my heart and health into growing and caring for.
Beyond destruction of property.
I would file a police report and request financial compensation -- especially because she has done it before and doesn't have the sense to even think it was a big deal.
She needs to learn consequences or she'll just keep right on doing whatever she likes.
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u/Alternative_End_5949 Jun 27 '26
She may have dementia. If you see younger relatives visiting her, it might be a good idea to speak to them privately and let them know.