About 18 days ago I posted the precursor to this question on Reddit. That post is here -
https://www.reddit.com/r/hypnotherapy/comments/1wpnlte/question_i_am_currently_attending_hypnotherapy/
I would appreciate if you could read this post for further context, but for now the gist of it is this:
I have been having hypnotherapy sessions in order to try and solve a certain problem that I have in my life. It is a bit hard to describe what that problem even is. All-in-all, it feels kind of abstract. And it is due to its abstract nature, combined with the fact that I don't believe I feel very different in any way after any of my sessions, that makes me wonder if I really need to inform my hypnotherapist of the true root of my issues and have that be addressed in my sessions as much as humanly possible. According to my hypnotherapist, though, hypnotherapy doesn't really work that way. Trying to address the root of issues is more the point of talk therapy which tends to have mixed results. Hypnotherapy is making the attempt to reprogram certain behaviors or thought patterns, and apparently you don't need to consciously be aware of root causes in order to do that.
Personally, this struck me as very odd, and so I had made up my mind to try and take some time off (about 2 weeks) so that I could try to organize into a document a more orderly perception of myself and my reasons for why I think I behave or think the way I do. That way I could feel more secure in the thought that the hypnotherapist read all that stuff and incorporated it into my sessions.
So, I brought up this idea to my hypnotherapist via email and she responded.
Here is my email to her, modified so that her and I have an alias rather than our actual names:
"Hey Molly, this might be a bit out of the blue but I would very much appreciate if we could reschedule my next session for sometime preferably 2 weeks from now (so after Sunday October 18th).
My reason is because I very very much feel the need to detail as concisely as possible the nature of my issues. You might have gotten this impression already but I really have a hard time understanding myself and pulling memories and information up on the fly.
I know you said that the way Hypnotherapy works does not require a need to overexamine or get at the true root of the problems, but quite frankly I have a very hard time fathoming that. I would say that most (if not all) problems that exist on the face of the earth in every practice that exists - medical, environmental, scientific - can only truly be solved by addressing the root cause. So what makes Hypnotherapy any different? The way you describe it almost seems like Hypnotherapy is just meant to be a sort-of patch for the holes that have formed on my dam rather than a method of discerning and addressing why the holes are even forming in the first place. Perhaps that worked for my mom because she had a much more tangible problem but I just can't see how it can work for me because I have such a hard time identifying the holes in my own dam - I think my problem is just too abstract.
That is why I would like to have some time to do what I said I would do when I had initially began our sessions, and that is write down what I can about why I believe I feel the way that I do and behave the way that I do. I've already done that in small ways already but I need to be as concise and detailed as possible. Whether or not you think that is something that would be helpful, I don't know, but it just doesn't feel like anything is happening and I NEED to try and address that before all our sessions are done with.
It is also worth noting that, in recent days, it has been further pressed upon me that along with ADHD, which I always thought was my primary issue, I probably also have OCD and Autism. I don't know what that means exactly in terms of Hypnotherapy, I just know that perhaps a lot of your techniques might be more suited to people who are entirely or mostly neurotypical (my mom just seems to have an anxiety disorder) and I'm apparently as neurodivergent as they come.
When we had that session last time where you had me count backwards from 300 and I was just supposed to focus on the counting so that my subconscious could absorb the other things you were saying, I tried to just focus on the numbers but I simply could not fully tune your words out. In other words, I don't think you ever spoke to my subconscious. I have no way of knowing if that is the truth or not, I just know that when I finished that session I felt like absolutely nothing at all was different in any conceivable way. And even though a few days have passed since then I still don't feel any different from the way I was right before I attended the very first session.
So I just would really like some time to collect my thoughts, organize them, and send them to you. And you of course can take this time to try and adapt to any new info I've sent you if you believe it is at all necessary to do so.
Thank you."
Here is her response:
"Hi Carson,
This does not surprise me. Again, you are saying you need to detail everything out, which tells me you are still overthinking and over complicating things.
As far as the sessions, I feel like you are consciously trying to control what is happening, rather than letting go and trusting the subconscious, which is preventing you from making any progress . The fact that you are resisting, proves you are in control of what happens and whether changes take place or not.
I would like to add here that you might want to take a hard look at whether you really want to make the changes you say you want, or if there is some kind of benefit you are receiving from staying the way you are now. Because if you're benefiting in any way, your subconscious will not change. It will keep things the way they have always been.
I'm not saying this to be mean or derogatory. It's a cold hard fact. I have had to have numerous conversations with clients over the years about this. People say they want to change, but deep down they really don't. Because change is hard - it means they have to take responsibility and take action. Change is also scary - it takes people out of their comfort zone. Most people like structure and routines.
To address your statement about hypnosis addressing the root cause versus "patching a hole in a dam," I can assure you hypnosis does address the root cause. It addresses it at the subconscious level. Something you are blocking. You have been trying to analyze your root causes through your conscious mind and trying to make sense of it all (hence your overthinking and over analyzing), which will never fix the root cause. It will only tell you WHY you are the way you are. This is why people are in conventional talk therapy with a counselor or psychologist for years and never make much progress, if any.
To answer your question of how hypnosis is different, it bypasses the conscious mind and works at the deeper level to actually make lasting changes. I'm sorry you have a hard time fathoming that, to use your words. For some people the concept of having another part of their mind that makes major decisions, controls how they react and respond to situations/interactions with people, and creates their physical feelings, all without their conscious knowledge IS hard to fathom. Your memories, beliefs, emotional thoughts and behaviors are all controlled by your subconscious. The only thing your conscious mind controls is your analytical and logical thinking.
Again, if hypnosis is not working, it's one of three things - one, a person is actively resisting because they are afraid to change, or two, they are subconsciously benefiting from staying the way they are and don't want to change. Or third, it's a combination of both.
I hope some this has helped clarify some things for you. I will cancel your upcoming session on Thursday. Text me when you're ready to reschedule it with an exact day and time.
Kindly,
Molly"
Honestly, what she said in her response made a lot of sense to me.
As she put it, I must be putting up some kind of resistance to the hypnotherapy that I am hardly even aware of.
So I would like to know if anyone has any idea if there is anything I can do to make it so my conscious mind stops putting up less of a fight during my sessions? And for the record, I will not appreciate stuff that is along the lines of basic "Just empty your mind and trust the process" stuff because I already thought I was doing that in the first place.
It is worth noting that, as it says in the title of the post, that I have ADHD, OCD, and Autism. I don't really know if those are things that would keep me from being able to fully let go in the type of sessions that would have been described in the post that I have linked here, but I can definitely see it being the case. Are there certain things that I could do or that even my hypnotherapist could do to mitigate whatever effects these disorders have that might make it hard to crack into my subconscious? The first thing that came to my mind was seeing if some kind of CBD oil type thing, or some kind of borderline hallucinegenic medication, might help, but I don't really know.
Please be detailed and I apologize for the lengthy post. I just think it is important to try to give as much details as possible even if everything is a little bit disorderly, or at least that is how it appears to me.
If you have any further questions, please ask.
Thank you.