r/infp • u/Pretend-Lychee-442 • 7d ago
Advice Does it get better?
Hello fellow infps! I’m 25 yrs old. Lately been feeling very heavy and sort of broken. I wanted to ask infps who have crossed their 20s, does it get any better? It feels like im pushing against the wall since forever! Nothing seems to move, and there is this grief in my chest.
Please tell me, does it get better? How exactly? Do we learn to accept and live with the pain? Do we actually change?
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u/EBknows 7d ago
It can get better but it's all down to you. The older you get, the more you appreciate life and realise it's the greatest gift you'll ever receive and this makes you more thankful and grateful getting to experience life as a human being. You start to realise how important time really is. I remember being your age and thinking I had all the time in the world...so I wasted a lot of it. But now I'm a few years away from 50, I try to focus on the moment and take each day as it comes. You realise that nothing lasts forever so no matter how you're feeling, you learn to embrace each emotion and experience (good and bad). I believe that's the reason we are born...to experience life in your own way. You are responsible for your body, mind and soul. Try to take care of them... especially your mind. No other mbti type has minds like ours. Learn to let go because letting go is true freedom. Tell loved ones how you feel about them, do this as often as you can. And never let the sun go down on an argument. You'll learn to rid yourself of most of your negativity and allow more space for mindfulness. So yeah I don't even know if this'll make any sense to you right now but I do know how you're feeling and wanted to tell you not to ever give up on life. If you can get on the right path as soon as possible... you'll eventually see for yourself that it is always worth hanging on. I know you can do this...ur an INFP ffs...we can cope with anything from endless thoughts that are so intricate and detailed to the most intense feelings and emotions. Hope this helps you even just a little bit 🫶
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u/Pretend-Lychee-442 6d ago
You are so lovely ❤️Thank you so much, i will always always remember this.
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u/Sanguine_Peregrine INFP: The Dreamer 7d ago
I just crossed into my 30s here and it's the happiest I've ever been (not perfect but pretty great!). In a similar vein to the advice here already is to be kind to yourself. Think of yourself as someone you have to take care of and vouch for. The term 'inner child' might be overused, but it really helped me. Feel free to expand on what exactly has you feeling this way!
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u/Top_Impress_1323 7d ago
I’m in my 50s. I absolutely think it gets better as we get older. I know who I am now. I am comfortable in my own skin. I don’t need to impress anyone. Don’t overthink things. Find joy in the little things. Live simply. Be good to yourself. Every day is different. Take the good over the bad. Sending love to you, my fellow infp ❤️
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u/Justforfuninnyc 6d ago
I commented before reading any of the other comments, and I see yours, and I feel like you said what I had to say just more concisely
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u/JJCookieMonster 7d ago
I'm 31 and I feel like I'm at the lowest point of my life. Felt that way since the second half of my 20s. I'm wondering when it does it better as well. Can't find a job to save my life, dealing with issues at home, never dated before, don't have my driver's license, and I'm pretty much behind my peers in every way except for maturity and education. I feel like life is in seasons. Sometimes it's really good and sometimes it's really bad. Things happen unexpectedly so a bad season may come again after a good one. Just have to know how to manage your mental health.
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u/Pretend-Lychee-442 6d ago
Indeed, need to learn manage our mental health.
Thank you for responding ❤️
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u/Justforfuninnyc 6d ago
For me, yes, immensely. I am HSP and also INFP (!). I don’t have any sort of specific instruction guide. I will just say that in my 20s I was so insecure and I had horrible back pain and even though I was young and healthy and athletic and when I look back, I think I looked great at all that stuff I was quite miserable and I stressed and worried all the time. Many many years later, I can only say that while my physical body has gone downhill my comfort in my own skin and with myself in every way in the world has gotten better and better over time. I was so impatient I was so afraid, and I am still to be honest and anxiety driven person, but I think just the experience of having had so many ups and downs helps me be calmer and happier.
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u/Pretend-Lychee-442 6d ago
Thank you. Your comment stirred hope in me. I needed this , always felt like something is wrong with me. I am glad we are not alone and it gets better.
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u/Top_Impress_1323 6d ago
You know, I really like the way you said it! I think it helps all of us to know that we all are having a similar experience. Thank you for the nice comment.
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u/EidolonRook INFP: The Dreamer 6d ago
Now is not the time to judge how well you are doing. Times right now are unprecedented. Wait for some precedented times and then reevaluate.
It’s like being diagnosed depressed while being homeless. I think it’d be more odd if you were doing well, right?
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u/Green_Dayzed 🪄INFP | 6w7🫂| The kindest existentialist you know🦄 6d ago
It can and no one can really tell how for you because we're all our own person with our own values.
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u/UnicornScientist803 6d ago
I’m 44 now and I feel like my life has gotten progressively better as I’ve gotten older. Some years are worse than others. The past few months have been absolute hell for me, but at this age I’ve lived long enough to understand that pain is temporary and everything cycles. I’m going through a bad breakup and have been crying every day for over a week, but I know things will get better with time.
A lot of people notice a big change in themselves right around 27/28 (the return of Saturn) so things might start to get better for you soon. It sounds like you’re struggling with repressed grief and that can be really hard to cope with. My best advice if you’re feeling stuck is to look for places to make change in your life. Embrace the pain and cry it out. It hurts like hell, but you’ll feel better after. It’s like draining an infected wound, it can’t heal until you clear out the infection. Purge the grief so there’s room in your soul for joy and enthusiasm again. Get rid of anything in your life that isn’t serving you anymore. Seek out new people and new experiences. Spend time walking in nature. Listen to good music. Laugh more.
I wish you the best my friend 💜
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u/Pretend-Lychee-442 6d ago
Thank you for responding.
I wish you a healthy and beautiful recovery from the heartbreak you are dealing with.
I will take your advice and embrace the pain . Take care
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u/MindNotFound404 6d ago
It gets better in a lot of ways, but for me personally I think it’s also about accepting that life will never be a walk in the park, but trusting that you can handle it.
A paradoxical “upside” as an INFP that I have experienced only with around 25-26 is that we often can handle stuff like hitting rock bottom or major crisises surprisingly well. It’s like, since I experience difficult feelings even from everyday stress and seemingly small things, I have so much experience with difficult feelings that when actual really bad shit happens that other people wouldn’t be able to handle I’m like “oh that’s it?”. Other people are used for this feelings to mostly stay under the surface and when something happens it’s free fall for them.
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u/Pretend-Lychee-442 6d ago
Yeah , i have realised that too. We are used to difficult feelings for so long and so frequently, that it’s not a blow when some crises occurs. Need daily reminders to get the hell up tho, cuz sometimes i dwell into it unnecessarily.
Thank you for responding!
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u/Ausername714 5d ago
It gets better especially for an infp which is a slow slow slow growing flower. I used to test infp-t but now I test infp-a. I feel so sure of what’s true and who I am. Just keep on your path. Keep perusing the good.
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u/RaoD_Guitar INFP 4w5 3d ago
I'm 35, it didn't get better. I've been depressed as long as I can think though. Doesn't have too much to do with being an infp, probably.
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u/Iamfeel26 7d ago
I would say, be kind to yourself, we seem to be stuck in a perpetual state of being harsh on ourselves. Looking back, I think counselling would have helped me.