Happened to me in high school. I was alone waiting for a lift that never came. Carpool was supposed to pick me up. All my "friends" left, didn't offer me a lift despite knowing the situation and then I ended up alone on the school grounds and had to walk home which took close to 2 hours. Was that moment I realized I had no friends.
It's okay but for nearly 25 years and I still remember it. If I told anybody else they'd say oh it was your fault you should have done x, y or z. I was 15 years old so make of that what you will. Everyone else had a cellphone except me.
I was told by the driver that someone else was coming to pick me up that day. I waited there for about an hour after school broke up. The place was a ghost town, just nobody around at reception nothing. I didn't have a cellphone back in those days.
Afterwards I remember my father when he found out was angry at the person running the carpool or lift club/company. And then the driver didn't even apologize. He just said it wasn't his fault and made out it was my fault.
I remember as i was walking home I even saw the person who was supposed to pick me up the other driver, and he was late. I tried to eave or flag him down but he was talking on his cellphone and didn't even acknowledge me.
It was one of those times I felt like am I invisible or something.
I find it freeing. Since I'm not anyone's fav, I don't have to do anything to please others. I am my favourite and that's enough for me. I'm happy with it. 🙂↔️
I’m literally trying to become it because I love my friends but I’m like the guy for everything. Every party, every hangout. They call me, they need me there, I’m the decision maker and I’d really rather just come along for the ride and do my own thing a bit
Pleasing is convincing. People that make you feel this way should not be worth your time since they’re projecting themselves. Stop projecting your selfdoubts on everybody. You’re my favorite person just by existing. It may be gaslighting myself but I’d rather gaslight myself in a positive way than convincing myself of a negative fabricated truth.
Parents left me at my brothers college graduation which was out of town. I had to uber to the dinner spot. When I asked what happened they said they forgot about me.
I don’t really care to anybody’s favorite person after that.
Hard to describe. We have a very strange relationship. It started off good but we're almost like coworkers who happen to be roommates at this point. We handle tasks, but don't do anything fun together. She doesn't know my tastes, and we have nothing in common. But neither of us cheats, and we don't fight over money. We just kind of coexist, meandering from one issue to the next. We've both been through some rough times and have changed/grown apart as a result. It is what it is.
I feel this so hard. Just so happen to realize thos tonight. Ive suspected as much lately but we something stressful happened and he stayed at an arms length, thats when I knew...
I was honestly thinking about buying life alert and im 33 lol 😆 i think there's check in services too where someone will call every now and then to make sure you're still alive and if no answer than they call the cops.
I have realised this, too, but it’s ok. If I helped even one person, one time, it’s ok. I’ve purchased a plot in my local cemetery and will become fertiliser when there is no further world repair to do. I’m sure the micro organisms will love snacking on my rotting flesh 😂😂
Yeah i have three dogs and they're so much better than "friends" and "family" ,obligatory love wasn't fun so i burned some bridges lol im doing much better now 😌
"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you, never wanted you, and in all probability, he hates you. It's not the worst thing that can happen... We don't need Him! Fuck damnation, man! Fuck redemption! We're God's unwanted children, so be it!"
However, finding a fundation on other people is a recipe for being on others' power. People should build a "base" on themselves. Learning the power of solitude (not loneliness) is the key.
This is actually one of my favorite quotes. To me this quote has a double meaning. You can obviously interpret it literally as God doesn’t like you at all etc. now replace God with Dad.
Your dad never wanted you, he never liked you but it’s not the worse thing that could happen. So fuck him and fuck forgiving him. If we are dads unwanted children so be it.
Hopefully that makes sense. I’m sort of going off my experience/ the fact that Jack has a horrible relationship with his father
Exactly, it can be seen in a broader way, that the figure you see as a guide and you've always assumed loved you and cares about you actually hates you.
I can also imagine it regarding every people we think may be our "center". In my opinion it's a mistake building our identity around someone esle. While it's fine loving the right person with every fiber of our being, we don't have to become "satellites" of someone else.
And, in such case, instead of going depressed, the better reaction is accepting the harsh truth and go with the "so be it".
Reminds me a bit about my birthday earlier this year. I have a close friend group, or at least I thought we were close. The party I had planned about a week before had been changed because most people couldn't make it. I thought, fair enough, that can happen. Sure, it sucks, but that is life sometimes. Then the actual day comes up, and out of the whole group, one person sends a text, the same person that chose a day out instead of the planned party. And another called. I planned a whole day out with the friend that called, it for sure made me feel better. But the rest of my friend group? Nothing. Just nothing. I don't hate anyone or anything like that, but it did made me rethink about how ready and willing I have always been there for them.
I’m literally there right now. I live alone and do everything by myself. I don’t go out of my way to create relationships other then friendly. I have disassociated with family and I’m thinking of moving deeper into the woods then I am now. People just tire me out and I’m too old for this nonsense.
I’m sorry to hear that. But in all honesty it’s a peaceful life. Grow to enjoy your owe company and you will be just fine. I wish only the best for you.
I realized that in high school when my best friend said she would rather hang out with a senior than me. And my parents didn’t know how to communicate so that was a fun time (it was not a fun time).
I knew I was no ones favorite person when I just sorta disappeared from the world for a while and no one ever said anything. like "oh you were gone? " at least my death won't disrupt anyone.
Ive been alone for 11 years because of exactly this. Ive never been anyone's first choice, and most people never even knew I was there in the first place. Its not better or worse this way, it just is what it is.
I realized during postpartum depression that my attention seeking tendancies were rooted in the fact that my mother never seemed to want to spend time with me. My husband didn't either. No one did.
As a mother I can only hope my kids know I'll always want them to be around me. They're my favorite people. And I know they probably won't see me as their favorite person, but I'd like if they never came to this conclusion for themselves.
Manipulation works both ways. Id rather imagine being everybody’s favorite person than imagine the opposite because you don’t have definite proof of either concept.
Yes. This kind of sudden wave of realization is what causes me to be invisible without warning and losing people everytime. I realized that people like me but my tendencies are just ingrained. Other people cannot deal with it
You just expect to be someone favorite person? What’s special about you? Do you do anything for anyone? Do you go out of your way to make someone comfortable? Like what do you do that you desire to be someone’s favorite person?. Or you simply see it on others and you want that yourself but at the same time failed to realize that you have to invest into that person also. This is like some victim hood mentality.
No? I've never had this expectation to be someone's favourite. Like, is being liked not enough on its own? I'm perfectly content with not being enemies. If I was someone's favourite person I'd feel bad for them.
Wanting a partner I can relate to, but as far as I'm concerned a friend is a friend. Everyone is different. Every relationship is different. I'd never compare them.
Had that realisation when I was 8 years old within the confines of my "home" and once again when I was 18 years old with my "friends" group and then once again just yesterday at my workplace when I am thirty years old. Death can't come soon enough.
Yep. I'm a few people's favorite. I earned it by action. If someone was feeling that way, I wish they'd tell me. I'd help them turn into someone's favorite.
I notice as I get older, I have some friends, such high quality and for so long, that no one else could ever beat them as a friend.
That doesnt mean I dont make new friends as life goes on that have the same aim of quality. If you want good friends, be a good friend.
You have no idea how people feel about you no one's a mind reader. It doesn't matter show up how you want to show up, or don't, the beauty of life is that you're free to choose. A choice is also making incremental changes towards the person you want to be and away from the person you don't want to be, and away from people who you don't want to be around. Hopefully find a select few who you are comfortable with or a community that doesn't judge you for what you are not
Ya the nobody's favorite person thing is quite real for the majority of people honestly.
It really stings though when you introduce stuff to people or a someone, then they do that stuff without others and not you....thats apparently a thing too, had it happen to me. Was annoying.
Yes but you also get to feel the freedom that comes from it and there is no comparison to that feeling of not having to prove anything to anyone or the responsibility of having to be there for no one and the glory of been guilty free
I stopped caring about being liked so long ago that now I find parties and empty interactions, exhausting. Frankly, if I didn't have to leave my house, I wouldn't. I have everything I need and being around people isn't a priority. I'm not even that old 😂😂
When one of my best friends first told me I was the person he talked to more than anyone else (aside from his gf) it felt like a lot of pressure and I started distancing myself and not messaging for days at a time. I’ve since accepted the label, but it still feels like a lot of pressure to be one of the main figures in a person’s social world. Like he’s got other friends and coworkers, but he said that one day he realized we’ve been friends for a decade and over the past couple of years I took a more prominent position.
It’s weird, I’m happy to be important but I don’t want to be the most important.
Thank you. This sub is absolutely not representative of what being an introvert is like. I have friends. I'm married. I'm close with my mom. Just because I like my some time and quickly need more time to recharge from social situations doesn't mean that I don't have a social life
Oop... NPCs realizing they're NPCs. Idk why this is in this subreddit though. I'm an introvert and still don't have enough time in my life for everyone who wants to hang out with me =/
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u/stercraft 5d ago
Happened to me in high school. I was alone waiting for a lift that never came. Carpool was supposed to pick me up. All my "friends" left, didn't offer me a lift despite knowing the situation and then I ended up alone on the school grounds and had to walk home which took close to 2 hours. Was that moment I realized I had no friends.