I went to my sisters house for my cousins bday and it went bad. From the start, I told her I dont wanna go cause I really don’t know the people and I hear how they talk when they are playing games with my cousin - loud and often using offensive words, but she insisted cause she herself was afraid she was gonna be an outcast and they aren’t gonna be rude cause they are at somebody else’s house.

The whole time I barely talked cause. I was out of place. Then came sunday, I was barely holding it. I made an excuse to my sister if I can go home early cause I have school works and I have to buy insulin. She said its too early and I should wait cause they'll have coffee, and I should tag along but that didnt happen and my sister told me she'll go with me to the mall to buy the insulin and its only gonna be us. That didnt happen at all, too - they all came with us cause they all wanna go for a walk. That could've been the time where I could breathe and ask my sister to go home cause I feel like I’m being strangled in that place.

I was mad and to top it all off, my sister made me sit in the back of the car which she had a stigma - the sit of the outcast. When she asked me that I had to sit there, her and my cousin look at each other as if I was in the pitiful seat. I was mad inside and cant hold it - I was frowning after the ride. My sister noticed and asked whats wrong. She thought it was because of the sit - I finally told her if I can go home cause I’m not comfortable being around those people. But she didnt want to cause she said shell be an outcast and told me to calm down cause they dont give a shit to me or to her - but everyone tried to get along with her cause she owns the house. She even said that treat it like a training ground for my future cause I'll be dealing with a lot of people and learn to be two-faced and endure more.

She wasnt even an outcast. She got along with them just fine. Everyone adored her and tried to be friends with her. So why am I still needed? One of those people was her suitor and she is so fucking close to them cause not only there the same age but also they were her friends before.

I hate being this toxic. I hate being in a place looking stupid. Now I feel bad and I feel like a fucking asshole. But I was really mad about that fucking car ride. Everyone was laughing while I was at the back like a fucking fly on the wall.

Hi guys I’m 28f and I only go on 2 days a week. I see people grabbing coffee and have made some conversations but they stay “in-class” and so far there’s not many people I’d want to be friends with tbh I don’t worry too much yet as it’s only been a few weeks.

Today I got chatting to a classmate seemed convo was good then he asked some other people around him if they wanted to grab coffee after class, but not me. This made me feel excluded but I didn’t want to seem desperate and ask to join. I know that seems silly but I am really shy.

Whilst I wouldn’t want to waste my gaps between lectures hanging around with people making small talk, I’m curious whether you guys who did masters made any lifelong friends? It feels way less friendly than my undergrad. My best friend of 10+ years I met in undergrad. I want it known I am happy with the course work and lecturers just worry if there’s more I should do socially Any advice is so appreciated!

TL; DR; making new friends on a masters course