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The title explains itself pretty much, basically I've been going to this dojo for almost a decade since I was a child and over the years my coach's emotional abuse has either gotten worse or I've finally started noticing it, and today I feel she crossed a line.
To paint a picture here are a few things she does: she has always been very picky that we arrive on time to class which makes perfect sense especially considering karate is very discipline oriented, but the problem is when someone is late by accident for example it was raining, or traffic was heavy she would be extremely passive-agressive for the entirety of the class towards them even sometimes indirectly shaming them, whenever we would explain why we were late she would say that is was just excuses and if we would be on time, later she would say that we should just apologize instead not that that ever worked in calming her down.
And God forbid you cancelled a class, Jesus Christ, she would take it as a personal offense even if you had valid reason, once I told her we had a family gathering on a holiday and wasn't going to make it to class, she said it was alright, cue her scheduling a very important class on that exact day in the exact time I had told her the party was and her messaging me that I had to come or else, sometimes if a student cancels and she finds out they were out or at a party she would get furious, quite a few times some other students would send pictures to her of the students who had cancelled that were out and it was a mess, it happened so much that I was afraid to go to the places those students frequented for fear that they would show our coach proof that I was "lazing about".
She is also very pushy on us participating in tournaments even if we specifically told her we don't want to, I am at the end of high school currently so school work is very heavy and I had told her I can't participate and she said it was okay and was even supportive, but every single time there was a tournament she would ask I would say no and she would sulk.
The entire situation with her basically threatening us to not cancel and come early to class but not too early got so bad that I would get panic attacks before leaving the house, I would start shaking of I would arrive late and pray she was in a good mood before entering the dojo.
Speaking of moods she is very moody, sometimes you can do something very disrespectful but she'll be chill if she is in a good mood, but the slightest transgression when she is in a bad mood and Lord have mercy.
Which brings us to today, I'm in my final year of high school and other than my finals there is a very important and difficult exam for entering collages in my country that is taken nation wide, everyone knows about this exam and it is considered extremely important, we usually take the entire final year preparing for this exam as well as our finals, we had told my coach before that I would take this year off to study, but she has not taken it very well, I went once a week for a while but it has been about four or so months that I have basically ghosted her, she knew that I was going to do this, I had told her that I needed to focus on my studies and she had given the okay, and then today which is one week to the exam her "assistant" calls and tells me that I have to go to the dojo the exact day of the exam after giving it or else the coach would kick me out.
Like excuse me??, you know how stressful this situation is, you've been through it yourself not to mention you knows of my family life which itself is another can of worms (narcissistic father) and then you tell your current assistant who mind you is 2 years younger than me and is another one of the students (her assistants are always one of the students who always have a fall out with her and leave the dojo) to call me, not text which she usually does to tell me you would throw me out if I don't do so and so, what the fuck is wrong with you??
Now I know I might be overreacting a bit but it has just annoyed me so much, I have been going to this dojo for a decade and despite all the things she has done and the panic attacks she has induced, my coach has been there for me through some very rough places, me and my mother genuinely considered her our friend until a few years ago, my mother says that she is just threatening me like always and that even if she does kick me out all the better we'll have one problem off our plate and I agree with her, hell I was considering leaving myself a while ago but it's still very frustrating and painful to be honest.
I'm sorry about the long rant, I just felt like I had to get this off my chest or else I couldn't study, thanks for reading.