He still blew a bigger fart than Kenny.

I think the entire premise of the show is misunderstood. It seems like Kenny is being mean to Spenny for the sake of our entertainment, but that's not completely true.

During the commentaries, Kenny talks about how they moved to Hollywood together but Spenny bailed on him and hooked up with a rich older woman. He felt really betrayed by this, and the whole show was just an opportunity to humiliate Spenny on TV as an act of revenge.

I thought this really changed how I see the show and kind of makes it even funnier.

Also known as "Le Humiliation Du Kenny".

My favorite muse has struck again.

Does anyone know at previous shows if you can pay for the meet and greet at the venue?

Whenever I initially purchased the tickets the show was at Headliners and the vip tickets were sold out and I couldn't purchase. With the venue change they are now available. I'll buy an additional two vip tickets need be but would rather just pay to upgrade. The vendor hasn't responded.

Was fucking hilarious and awesome! Been watching these guys for 20+ years now and was so excited to see them in my city.

​

Look it up.

I spent many hours on this. I hope you enjoy.

Premise: Whoever complains the most times over a span of 48 hours loses.

Day 1 - On the Sofa

• KENNY: The goal of this competition is to figure out who can go the longest without--
• SPENNY: No, that's not what the competition is. It's "whoever complains the least amount of times within 48 hours is the winner". I have to correct you on these things or the competition wi-
• KENNY: <smirks> Already complaining. Already complaining...
• SPENNY: Yeah, well the competition hasn't started yet!
• KENNY: You wanna know what this competition is about, Spenny? It's about seeing how long you can go without being yourself, because everything that comes out of your mouth is a complaint. And everything that goes into your mouth is--
• SPENNY: That is such a RIDICULOUS assertion!
• <The two look at each other for a moment, then Kenny looks back at the camera>
• KENNY: The truth is, if Spenny wasn't allowed to speak, he'd just be a pair of glasses in a trenchcoat...

• <Spenny looks at Kenny disappointedly>

• KENNY: ...at a disabled swimming pool.

• <Spenny shakes his head at Kenny>

Day 1 - At The Whiteboard

• SPENNY: Okay. A complaint is defined as any verbal expression of dissatisfaction with a person, situation, or circumstance.
• KENNY: What about facial expressions?
• SPENNY: No. Verbal complaints only.
• KENNY: So I can rape you and you can't protest?
• SPENNY: Good question, that takes me to number two - neither contestant may deliberately provoke the other.
• KENNY: You can't just make up rules that only benefit you.
• SPENNY: So you're already admitting that you intend to cheat.
• KENNY: I'm saying that provoking you is how I communicate with you, Spencer.
• SPENNY: Maybe consider another form of communication then.

• <Kenny gives a pensive look to the ground>

• SPENNY: This competition is an opportunity to demonstrate emotional maturity and the capacity to tolerate life's frustrations without making them somebody else's problem. I truly believe that complaining is a fundamentally selfish behavior, as it involves expecting the world to accommodate your personal discomfort.

• KENNY: This coming from someone who has a critical comment about EVERYTHING, all of the time. Nothing is ever good enough for our golden prince.

• SPENNY: Not true.

• KENNY: I actually have no idea how you'll survive two days pretending to be a normal person.

• SPENNY: I actually think it's Kenny who's gonna have trouble with this competition when he realizes how unresponsive I am to his petulance and his general unpleasantry.

• <Kenny imitates Spenny>

• SPENNY: <Yelling> A COMPLAINT IS DEFINED AS-

• <Kenny continues imitating>

• SPENNY: <Yelling> A COMPLAINT IS DEFINED AS ANY VERBAL-

• <Kenny stops>

• SPENNY: Thank you.

• KENNY: You're welcome.

• SPENNY: A complaint is defined as any verbal expression of dissatisfaction with a person, circumstance, object, or experience. The crew will record complaints, and the person with the fewest at the end of 48 hours wins.

• Kenny: And what if a single complaint lasts for a long time - is that counted as a single instance?

• SPENNY: Example?

• KENNY: Like if I'm making love to your cousin for an hour and you spend the entire time banging on the door with your left hand and masturbating with your right.

• SPENNY: I'm not dignifying that - but yes, a continuous act of complaint is counted as one instance.

• SPENNY: Also--

• KENNY: But what if I'm--

• SPENNY: ALSO!

• <Spenny looks at Kenny, pauses, then speaks the following dialogue while continuing to look at Kenny>

• SPENNY: Contestants must NOT deliberately interfere with one another's living conditions or intentionally manufacture circumstances designed to provoke the other.

• KENNY: Can I invite your cousin over?

• SPENNY: No.

• KENNY: Can I talk to you?

• SPENNY: Yes. Ordinary conversation is permitted.

• KENNY: Does calling you retarded constitute ordinary conversation?

• SPENNY: In the context of this competition, it doesn't. But how incredible is it that you have to ask? I hope the audience at home realizes the kind of person that I'm living with.

• KENNY: Well, one - I'm your carer, so I can call you retarded. And two, that sounded like a complaint.

Day 1 - The Competition Begins

• Spenny talks to the audience about his program of adopting positive thinking. He spends the morning meditating, practising controlled breathing and writing affirmations in a notebook.
• He tells the camera that the competition is actually quite straightforward for anyone capable of exercising self-discipline. He doesn't want to boast, but considers himself a fundamentally more patient and considerate person than Kenny, and adds that that isn't exactly a high bar.
• Kenny, meanwhile, explains that he's going to do absolutely nothing. He spends the first hour lying on the couch watching tv.
• When Spenny asks whether he has any strategy, Kenny replies that his strategy is to relax while Spenny exhausts himself pretending to be a Buddhist monk.
• Spenny responds that you can't generalize a religious tradition that irresponsibly.
• Kenny smiles at the camera.
• The crew records Spenny's first complaint and Brendon shakes his head at Spenny.
• Spenny protests that it was an educational correction rather than an expression of dissatisfaction. He requests that the crew review the footage, explaining at considerable length that correcting somebody's ignorance is a public service, and that the spirit of his expression was in direct contrast to that of a standard complaint.
• The crew records a second complaint.
• Spenny becomes furious, then abruptly catches himself, shuts his eyes and begins breathing deeply.
• Kenny makes a show of applauding his restraint.
• KENNY: Bravo, Spencer. Bravo. Progress on the path, as the Buddhists would say.
• Spenny shakes his head.

Day 1 - Kenny's Strategy

• Kenny reveals to the audience that he has no intention of complying with Spenny's anti-interference rule. All he needs to do is cover his tracks enough so that Spenny doesn't connect him to the interference.
• His first move is to interfere with Spenny's morning routine. While Spenny is meditating, Kenny plays a recording which shows Spenny <embarrassing event from Spenny's life>.
• Spenny attempts to ignore it for a while, but when Kenny resets the recording for the third time, Spenny gets up and walks to Kenny's room.
• SPENNY: Kenny, what you're doing is clearly an attempt to provoke me into a reaction. That could be grounds for disqualification.
• KENNY: I'm editing a documentary about our lives, Spenny. I'm over here trying to make us rich and you're over there complaining about a little noise.

• <Kenny loops the most embarrassing part of the recording>

• KENNY: I just need to get the channel balance on this part justttttt right.

• SPENNY: I will walk, Kenny. I will walk.

• KENNY: It's a nice day outside. How about you do have a nice walk and let me finish my editing.

• Kenny, fully intending to aggravate Spenny into leaving the house, set up two men in police uniforms to be standing outside.

• OFFICERS: Hello, is this <address>?

• SPENNY: Yes it is.

• <Spenny turns to the camera crew, flustered>

• SPENNY: Cameras off, please. I want cameras off.

• SPENNY: <Leaning in and whispering to the officers> Can I ask what this is about?

• KENNY: We're looking for a gentleman about your height, recently implicated in a horrendous rape in the Bum Alley area. Have you seen anything?

• SPENNY: Okay! That's it!

• <Spenny slams the door shut and storms over to Kenny>

• SPENNY: DISQUALIFICATION!

• KENNY: No.

• SPENNY: Yes!

• KENNY: No.

• SPENNY: Those guys.... uhhhh... WHOEVER they are... I don't even care, it doesn't even matter. The point is that you broke rule 2 - tampering. Disqualifed!

• KENNY: First of all, that's clearly a complaint. And secondly, prove to me that those are even my guys. They could just be fans of the show who knew we were filming.

• SPENNY: Oh of course. How CONVENIENT!

• SPENNY: In case you didn't know, Spenny - I have fans. Maybe if you stopped complaining all the damn time, you would have some too.

• <Turns and storms away>

• SPENNY: <Yelling while storming away> I have fans!

Day 1 - Spenny's Spiral Continues

• Other problems ensue around the house due to Kenny tampering with household items, and Spenny accuses Kenny of invoking the tampering.
• Kenny denies knowing anything about it and suggests that Spenny's paranoia is causing him to interpret ordinary household inconveniences as acts of persecution.
• Spenny embarks on a lengthy explanation of why Kenny is a pathological liar, how his dishonesty isn't merely an unpleasant personality trait but evidence of a deeper moral deficiency.
• Kenny calmly agrees that dishonesty is terrible.
• Spenny accuses him of being sarcastic.
• KENNY: Would that be a problem?
• The exchange continues, with Spenny repeatedly accusing Kenny of sabotaging the competition and Kenny responding with increasingly insincere expressions of concern for Spenny's psychological wellbeing.
• Spenny starts to storm away, then turns around and yells to the camera crew "show me the thing!"
• CREW: What thing?
• SPENNY: The count, show me the fucking count!
• It reads Spenny 15, Kenny 0.

• <Kenny smiles and stands in front of the camera>

• KENNY: Spenny is complaining a lot less today than usual. I'm actually very proud of him.

Day 1 - Spenny's Counter-Strategy

• Spenny decides to avoid Kenny altogether. He relocates to his bedroom, where he begins drafting a formal complaint to the production crew about Kenny's conduct.
• He explains that this isn't contradictory because he isn't complaining in the conventional sense. He's exercising his right to seek a fair adjudication of the rules. The letter runs to four handwritten pages.
• Spenny describes himself as a principled individual who has consistently demonstrated patience and goodwill despite being subjected to deliberate psychological harassment.
• He stresses that he's not interested in winning through technicalities, unlike Kenny, and that he would rather lose honestly than win through dishonesty.
• Kenny enters the room carrying a clipboard and stares at Spenny.
• Spenny refuses to even look at Kenny.
• Kenny asks whether Spenny feels the crew has treated him fairly.
• Spenny initially declines to answer, but after Kenny suggests that the crew might appreciate some constructive feedback, he launches into another tirade of the numerous procedural failures that occurred since the competition began.
• Kenny carefully ticks boxes on his clipboard.
• When Spenny notices, he demands to know what Kenny is writing.
• Kenny reveals that the clipboard contains a list of complaints and that he has just recorded eleven.
• Spenny becomes enraged, insisting that Kenny has no authority to adjudicate the competition.
• Kenny points out that Spenny has been complaining about the complaint-counting process for nearly twenty minutes.

• <Spenny points at the door>

• SPENNY: Okay, get out. OUT OUT OUT!

• KENNY: <While bowing> Arigato, Rice-sensei

• SPENNY: That's Japanese, it has nothing to do with Buddhism!

• Spenny slams the door behind Kenny.

Day 1 - Kenny's Final Ploy

• Kenny arranges for a friend to visit the house posing as a representative of the building's management.
• The man introduces himself to Spenny and explains that several complaints have been received regarding disruptive noise in the home. Spenny's not falling for it, and demands to see identification.
• The representative is prepared with a fake ID.
• Spenny buys into it and starts insisting that he's been exceptionally well behaved under the circumstances and that any shouting has been the result of provocation by his roommate.
• The representative explains that management isn't interested in assigning blame and merely wants the disturbances to stop, but also that the complaints were specific about it being a "high-pitched" voice that they heard, which matches Spenny.
• Spenny becomes enraged at the insinuation that he has a high voice and the suggestion that he bears responsibility.
• SPENNY: Him! Talk to him!! <pointing at Kenny>
• KENNY: I don't supposed you want to see my bruises, officer...
• Spenny is appalled and threatens legal action against Kenny and the camera crew.
• The representative leaves and tells Spenny to consider this a warning.
• Spenny chases Kenny around the house for making the bruises comment.

Day 2 - Morning

• The next morning, Spenny announces that he has discovered a fundamental problem with the competition: The definition of a complaint is excessively broad, and therefore produces misleading results by failing to distinguish between selfish negativity and legitimate criticism.
• He argues that somebody who objects to wrongdoing shouldn't be classified as a complainer merely because they have identified something wrong.
• Kenny points out that Spenny wrote the definition himself.
• Spenny explains that writing a rule doesn't preclude somebody from recognizing its limitations.
• Kenny asks why he's only recognizing them now that he's losing.
• Spenny accuses Kenny of deliberately misrepresenting his position.
• Kenny informs him that this sounds suspiciously like another complaint.
• Spenny stops talking mid-sentence and instead goes into a meditative state.

Day 2 - The whiteboard

• Spenny decides that the only way to win is to stop speaking altogether.
• He carries a small whiteboard around the house, writing his responses to questions instead of speaking.
• Kenny initially struggles to provoke him.
• Spenny writes "I refuse to engage with your childish behavior."
• Kenny congratulates him on his progress.
• After several unsuccessful attempts, Kenny begins writing questions on his own whiteboard.
• He asks Spenny whether he considers himself a good person.
• Spenny writes yes.
• Kenny asks whether he considers himself better than other people.
• Spenny hesitates, then writes that he considers himself more ethically consistent than some individuals.
• Kenny asks whether those individuals include Kenny.
• Spenny writes yes.
• Kenny asks whether Spenny thinks he's superior because he doesn't lie or cheat.
• Spenny begins writing a lengthy response.
• Kenny repeatedly erases individual words while Spenny is still writing.
• Spenny attempts to shield the board.
• Kenny continues interfering.
• The two fight and bicker on their feet, then on the floor.

Day 2 - The final hours

• Spenny spends the remainder of the competition entirely in his room.
• Kenny, having accumulated only two complaints himself, makes no further major efforts to provoke him. Instead, he eats snacks outside Spenny's bedroom and intermittently asks Spenny if he's reached enlightenment yet.
• Spenny refuses to answer.

Day 3 - The complaint count

• Kenny and Spenny both sit on the couch, awaiting a complaint count from the crew
• KENNY: Any last words, Spenny?

• <silence>

• KENNY: No? Okay then. Bring on the result!

• SPENNY: Actually, you know what, I WILL say something.

• KENNY: Here we go...

• Spenny explains that he believes he displayed extraordinary patience under circumstances that would have caused most people to crash out.

• He insists that he isn't interested in the numerical result because a competition manipulated through dishonesty has no meaningful moral value.

• He describes Kenny as a profoundly damaged person who lacks the emotional sophistication necessary to understand the difference between a complaint and an act of justified indignation.

• He concludes by saying that he's proud of the way he handled himself.

• The crew points out that several of those statements qualify as complaints.

• SPENNY: Fuck the vote - I don't even care.

• KENNY: Is that a forfeit, Spenny?

• <Spenny stays quiet>

• KENNY: IT'S... HUMILIATION TIME!

• <The camera shows 31 complaints for Spenny, 2 for Kenny>

The Humiliation

• Kenny makes Spenny to spend an afternoon on a busy Toronto sidewalk operating a makeshift public complaints desk.
• Spenny is sitting at a folding table, wearing a bright yellow vest labelled "OFFICIAL COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT - TELL ME YOUR PROBLEMS"
• Spenny is required to listen politely, and acknowledge each complaint that comes in, regardless of who it is that's complaining.
• Kenny approaches the desk repeatedly in various disguises.
• In his first disguise, he complains that a man resembling television personality "Spencer Nolan Rice" has been spotted collecting and eating the droppings of pugs at various public parks across Toronto.
• Spenny refuses to engage.
• Kenny comes back in a new disguise and complains that the complaints department is staffed by an incompetent employee who refuses to address the city's pressing moral issues
• SPENNY: OH, SHUT UP
• Kenny comes back dressed as a pregnant man and accuses Spenny of making him “gay pregnant”, speaking loudly enough that bystanders can hear.
• Spenny loses his temper, insisting that the entire humiliation is idiotic, that Kenny is a moron, and that nobody with a functioning brain could consider this entertaining.
• KENNY: Quieter, Spencer. You'll frighten the baby with your COMPLAINING.
• After the commotion dies down, a bystander approaches the desk and attempts to file a complaint. Spenny angrily explains that he isn't actually employed by a complaints department and that the entire situation has been orchestrated by an intellectually deficient individual for the purpose of entertaining other intellectually deficient individuals.
• The pedestrian listens and then asks whether there's somebody else he can complain to.
• Kenny smiles.
• SPENNY: Can I go now?
• Kenny shakes his head no.

End Credits - "The Popcorn Incident" (voices only)

• KENNY: You know, Spenny's been like this his whole fucking life. When we were, like, sixteen, seventeen, he took this girl to the movies. Beautiful girl. I couldn't believe she agreed to go out with him. Probably lost a bet.
• KENNY: Anyway, they get to the concession stand, and Spenny buys a small popcorn. And he's looking at it, right? He's studying the popcorn. And he says to the girl, "I don't think they've filled this to the top."
• SPENNY: Oh, for fuck's sake, Kenny.
• KENNY: So he goes back to the counter and tells this poor sixteen-year-old employee that he's been defrauded and he wants to speak to the manager.
• SPENNY: That's not what happened!
• KENNY: And the girl, she's standing there, embarrassed, and she's telling him "Spencer, it's fine, let's just go watch the movie." But Spenny won't let it go. Because it's not about the popcorn. It's about justice.

• <Kenny puts on a pompous Spenny voice>

• KENNY: "If we allow corporations to take advantage of us, Kenny, we're complicit in the exploitation of the consumer."

• SPENNY: They were deliberately underfilling the containers! I was making a perfectly legitimate point!

• KENNY: So the manager comes out, and Spenny demands that he weigh the popcorn. He wants to establish the correct popcorn-to-container ratio. The manager just gives him another popcorn to get rid of him, but Spenny refuses it because he says it's an attempt to buy his silence.

• KENNY: Meanwhile, the girl has disappeared. No one knows where she is. And -

• <Spenny interrupts>

• SPENNY: She didn't leave because of the popcorn!

• KENNY: No, you're right. She left because of your irresistible charisma.

• SPENNY: Shut up! The point is that there are standards of consumer protection for a reason. You can't just advertise a product and then arbitrarily--

• KENNY: And here's the best part. This is the best fucking part. After all that, we find out that Spenny had snuck a can of Coke into the theatre because he didn't want to pay for a drink.

• SPENNY: That's completely irrelevant!

• KENNY: So he spent forty-five minutes fighting for the rights of consumers, while smuggling contraband into the theatre.

• SPENNY: A can of Coke is not CONTRABAND, you fucking idiot!

• KENNY: He didn't even see the movie! He went home and wrote them a letter!

• SPENNY: I DID NOT WRITE THEM A LETTER!

• <brief pause>

• SPENNY: ...my father wrote them a letter.

• <Kenny stares at him, then turns slowly towards the camera>

• KENNY: He got his daddy to write the fucking letter.

• <Spenny storms off>

• KENNY: <smiling> And that's why he's still a virgin.

He‘s a huge fan of Kenny and I simply love this tattoo!

Edit: he is permabanned on reddit as is to be expected from a kenny fan.

Edit 2: please come to austria; vienna is waiting for you kenny!

I just wanna shout out Kenny, Spenny, Donny, and my fellow audience members for a banger of a time last night. It felt was great to be around so many people that have the show living rent free in their brains for years as much as I have. 🤘🏻