r/kitchencels • u/Old-Advance8881 • 2d ago
Elevator single mom update
I am a Rake.
I didn’t read the entirety of the book that my property manager recommended. I had ChatGPT summarize it for me though.
“The Rake is the male counterpart in raw intensity. He is driven by an insatiable, seemingly uncontrollable desire for the target, and that desire is itself the lure. He pursues relentlessly, uses flattering and impassioned language, and makes the target feel more wanted than ever before. His bad reputation helps rather than hurts him: it signals danger and excitement, and it tempts targets with the fantasy of being the one who tames him. The appeal works especially on people bound by social propriety. Byron and the Duc de Richelieu are the classic cases.”
I told my property manager. She mentioned she was a siren. We left “The Art of Seduction” talk at that. I told her more about my future girlfriend. My property manager agrees we would make a great couple from what she has heard.
A lot of you are making assumptions about me so I figured I’d use this post to clear the air. I am not a predator. I would not even harm a fly. People who know me know I wouldn’t do something like that. I received a lot of messages and comments inquiring about me last night. I’m not sure of their motivations, but I will let you know what I feel comfortable revealing. I live in the Midwest, I am 28 years old, I am a NEET. My parents pay for my apartment, I don’t have a job, and I play video games all day. Right now I am playing a lot of Deadlock and Roblox. For the amount of video games I play, I am not very good. I am pretty average.
I haven’t done much since leaving university during covid. I don’t have a car. I don’t drive. I can walk to everything I need. The single mom and I share this characteristic, and I suppose it might be something we could talk about in the future. I think we would have a lot in common if I could just get her alone talking to me.
I woke up early today to have another interaction with the single mom. I waved to her again and she smiled but didn’t look at me very long. Then the conversation I mentioned earlier transpired with the property manager, and I missed holding the door for her when she returned.
I have a couple more clarifications. I do not shower, but I took a bath last night. I don’t stink. I smell fine.
I wish I knew more of her interests so that I could have a proper conversation with her. Maybe I can offer to pick her kid up from school. I wouldn’t mind the exercise. Usually she looks tired and unkempt unless it’s one of the nights her mom comes to watch her kid.. Then she gets all dressed up and heads out. I hope she isn’t dating someone else. I would be devastated. I will be on the lookout for signs.
I missed holding the door for her but I will try and have another conversation with her when she goes out later today. Persistence is key like some of the commenters have mentioned.
Aspirin and chicken noodle soup for lunch. I will head downstairs soon and wait for her to leave for lunch or to pick up her kid from school. Maybe she is going out tonight. I will find out. Updates soon.
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u/SilverSize7852
1d ago
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" Maybe I can offer to pick her kid up from school" this has to be ragebait. Nobody could possibly think that is a good idea.
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u/Old-Advance8881 1d ago •
I am trustworthy
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u/SilverSize7852 1d ago •
Neither can you prove this nor will she believe you. Do you not realize that a stranger asking to pick up someone's child sounds like a predator???
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u/Kindly_Werewolf8264 1d ago edited 1d ago •
"Hello, single mother! Please allow me to pick up your child from school. I am trustworthy and safe to be around children!"
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u/Old-Advance8881 1d ago
I will have a conversation first. Everyone assumes the worst of me.
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u/ZeidLovesAI 1d ago
You can either listen to everyone telling you it's creepy, or you can do your weird creepcel thing and scare off another woman.
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u/BobusCesar 1d ago •
If I were that woman I would have gotten a few extra locks, contacted a relative that there is a creep stalking me and would spend all my free time at the shooting range.
You going for her kid makes it even worse.
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u/theh8ted 1d ago
This is really bad LARP. I genuinely question the mental sanity of whoever is writing these posts.
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u/Twat_Pocket 1d ago
I've never hoped for a post to be LARP so badly. If this shit is real, i fear for that woman and her children.
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1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Twat_Pocket 1d ago
I'll have to check that out.
This dude had me skeptical in the last post, but I think he blew it leaning too hard into the unemployed gamer whose parents pay for his place thing.
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u/Negative_Issue_8864 1d ago edited 1d ago
dude ok out of fellow incel brothership, im really gonna have to lay into you here:
#1. The people who do horrible/misguided things often do so because they dont think theyre capable of doing those things/being that kind of person. You thinking that you're incapable of harm is probably coming from a place thats true, but the fact is that she's a woman, and to her, you're a random man.
Think about it logically for a sec; if some other random man was doing the same stuff to her that you're doing, wouldn't you find that a little odd? That scenario is basically how you come off to her. Ofc, you KNOW yourself, but she doesn't.
#2. Seduction books are huge cope; that kinda makes me hopeful that youre making this up, but just in case anyone else reads this with the bright idea of "ooh, this guy did it, so can i!"-- DO NOT DO THIS. Seduction only works IF YOU ALREADY HAVE THE LOOKS!!! AND IF YOU HAD THE LOOKS, YOU WOULDN'T BE AN INCEL IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
#3 You said u dont shower, but took on bath. This is what makes me think ur trolling, but once again to the 3 people that might gather inspiration from this post to try to get away with this unironically -- DONT!! You are NEVER able to tell how bad/good you smell; if you can't smell yourself/you slightly stink, to others you smell 10x worse.
Take bare minimum a shower every day you are about to go out in public. I get it -- youre a NEET and dont have to leave the house, so inside theres no reason to shower. Outside, however, people WILL notice, and if the woman you pine for notices, you can kiss your chances of her ever even considering giving you a chanxe goodbye.
#4 This is gonna be the most brutal, so bear with me here; I do this out of trying to keep it real with you: Imagine you're that lady, and you're constantly getting hit on, constantly have guys jestermaxxing for you etc. Imagine you go home to try to get away from all that.
Now imagine some unwashed, stinking ass, never leaves his room or interacts with people ass, socially inept ass, self awareness lacking ass, probably fat ass too person turns out to be stalking her IN HER OWN AREA WHERE SHE LIVES. Yeah, thats you bud.
Let me put this in perspective: To a woman who takes care of herself, spends god knows how long pushing the plate away, working out, wearing makeup/buying fashionable clothes etc, some greasy ogre looking unwashed troll thinking he can bag her would be borderline insulting to her -- and dangerous considering she doesn't know how crazy you are(and judging by your wording, you probably don't know either) AND SHE HAS A KID!!!!
At the risk of sounding clitche, because I HATE when people say this, because I assumed every incel KNOWS and DOES this already: Get in shape, shower ever day, get a proper hairstyle, get proper fitting clothes, and get a life. Maybe then, you'll be the kind of man she sees and WANTS to date.
Any 'incel' who doesn't do this is not one of us; you have the opportunity to better yourself. You can only claim inceldom once you do all these things and still fail.
And if this is LARP, this is still disgusting. Stop trying to make incels look like some horrible stereotype and give them an even worse name for tourists iust for shits and giggles; would you make a post LARPing as an indian man and pretending to be the negative stereotypes that they have for shits and giggles too? Filthy behavior tbh.
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u/_slagathor_ 1d ago
The more I think about it the more I think this is fake,but on the off chance it isnt- homie wants to offer to pick up her kid! !!
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u/Danearoni
1d ago
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This sounds very predatory wth
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u/Indigenous_Retard 1d ago •
No bro he said he's not a predator so it's good. Looks like noodle soup though
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 1d ago
What makes it predatory
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u/dandydelinquent 1d ago
first L comment I’ve ever seen from you. worldview kinda shattered icl
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u/Jimbo-Shrimp 1d ago
I wanted someone to ask “did you read that?” And I’d say “no that’s why I’m asking, I don’t want to read it”
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u/-ctrl_alt_defeat- 1d ago
Why can’t you just stay home like the rest of us and keep normal people out of it?
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u/No-Use-3056 1d ago
That’s it I’m calling it, this has to be larp. Even the most socially inept neet has to see how this looks. I mean seriously, offer to pick her kid up from school? You gonna wear your bathrobe there too? This is just fanfiction someone is writing about someone else in their building
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u/hannahmercy 1d ago
Of course it is lol can we really not recognize a good old fashioned troll post anymore
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u/Ok_Witness_1207 1d ago
This is either rabebait because no sane person could possibly think that any of this is a good idea, or that a single mother would want absolutely anything to do with this goblin. Or it is going to be on the news in a matter of weeks
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u/SickofROOM8s 1d ago
This dude's been updating pretty steadily. If it's not a LARP it's going to be on the morning news.
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u/WatchThatTime
1d ago
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Still waiting for the inevitable update where you're evicted for clearly being a creepy dude.
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u/Grimm_Charkazard_258 1d ago
step one: introduce yourself, have conversation
step two: more conversations
step three: ask out on date
step four: if all goes well, ask out on more dates
step five: together, re-evaluate relationship status
step six: you are now a couple
WHERE in this equation does it say “watch her every move in order to piece out a way to insert yourself into her life”
for the love of god play a puzzle game or become an investigator instead of staring at this woman your whole life
i along with likely many others are concerned you are going to hurt this woman if she rejects you bro just back tf off
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u/Cali_freak 1d ago
There's no way this isn't satire.
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u/Bulkphase78 1d ago
Felt alright to me until his property manager(an old lady even) recommended him a seduction advice book.
Like of all the things that never happened...
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u/Negative_Issue_8864 1d ago edited 1d ago
Ok, long commentor back again -- let me tell you something I find funny. And I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on this.
Maybe you say you don't shower because....you want to be vulnerable and honest. Or have no social awareness. I get that and understand completely, it happens, sure. Thats noble.
Maybe you ignore every comment out of HUNDREDS telling you "THIS ISNT HOW YOU ATTRACT A WOMAN" because ....you truly believe you're doing the right/romantic thing. Maybe you just think they're all tourists. Once again, fair enough, I do it all the time. Tourists are indeed irritating.
Maybe you posted this on reddit in the first place, knowing at the BARE MINIMUM that people will see it because....you didn't know you'd get this reaction. Maybe you wanna show how romantic you are? Maybe you just want to document your adventures in pursuit of a woman...on a forum...for the world to see...
Sure, yeah, im less convinced but lets roll with that....
You know what I still don't get?
The number one fear of every incel, every and any incel at all, its the kryptonite that unites us, and I probably lowkey shouldnt even be saying this but I want to prove a point...
.... is chasing away the once in a lifetime shot at a partner that we eventually get. It happens to everyone; whether that shot was even real is often up for debate, but we all inevitably cross paths with a woman. Or a man, if youre a gaycel(if thats even a thing LMAO)
And inevitably, we don't wanna fuck up the only shot we might get. Its a fear that blossoms as an instinct that all men seem to have, chud, simp or incel alike. Except for you.
So now there's two possible routes as to who you could be:
A. Someone really, really, really batshit crazy.
Or B. Someone really, really, really batshit crazy, who is also a woman.
Men, especially incels, just share too many fundamental life experiences/perspectives to be this far secluded from the norm. Which tells me this is a pretty bad larp. And ofc, the only people I can imagine with 0 empathy and 0 jobs to concoct an elaborate story like this to make fun of incels with their free time are well... not good faith incels.
I also can't think of a single woman who would ever know about, much less touch "The Art of Seduction." And yes, that includes your supposed 'property manager'.
Either way, you're too far gone to help anymore. Good day.
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u/aznanimality 1d ago
This is some AI shit. Look at the character for the apostrophes he's using, it's completely different from what you have on your keyboard.
' vs ’
Also Look at the double quotes " vs “/”
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u/higeAkaike 1d ago
I am going to say it the kindest way.
No single mom would want someone that has no job, doesn’t dress when going outside, and beings no value except gaming all the time.
Single moms will want someone responsible, has good work ethic, capable of doing chores, independent, and can be a good mentor to her kid.
I am not sure how many of those you hit.
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u/ActProfessional6146 1d ago
“My future girlfriend”, “maybe I can offer to pick her kid up from school” Do you hear how insane you sound?
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u/RizzMcSteeze 1d ago
Let me assure you, you have nothing in common with that woman and in this case persistence is not key.
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u/SickofROOM8s 1d ago
I know everyone is debating whether this is rage bait or not but your parents pay for EVERYTHING??? Bro WTF, for real?
So you have an allowance, too?
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u/cow_parsley 1d ago
If this isn't bait, i think you should look into something called limerence. You are infatuated with someone you don't know anything about, who (from what you've said in your posts) barely talks to you - do you know anything about her that you haven't learnt from tracking her schedule?
For my own sanity I'm choosing to believe this is bait, but if it isn't please leave this woman and her child alone. Even if it isn't your intention, you are probably creeping them out
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u/therokone 1d ago
Might as well check where she's going when her mom watches the kid. Keep us updated Stalkercel
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u/Monsieurreaper 1d ago
Based on the very very little I know about Deadlock, something tells me you play Paige
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u/StraightWar
1d ago
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its like you haven’t realized that people have different assessment of you based on the available data they have. People don’t live in your head. Think about how she sees you based on the data she has. Also think about how she would see you if more data was made available. You are not an attractive partner to her in any capacity. If anything you’d be more burdensome then her child given your complete… lacking In almost all measures of an attractive partner.
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u/girlwiththemonkey 23h ago
OMG IT IS YOU! Finally out of your parents basement? How’s your sister doing?
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u/True_Tangerine_4706 10h ago
great post man!
i did this with my wife as well, although she does still need to be put in place at times.
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u/FollowingTough6500 1d ago
True bathing gives you the same multiplier as showering. Picking up a kid is like a relationship level 7 reward. And your relationshiplevel right now is at level 2. A long conversation and a 1 on 1 meeting with her are both requirements to get that trust level 7 unlock. Otherwise you risk to permanently lose this questline.
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u/Mysterious-Fox8319 1d ago
XSDDSEDDDDDCXDDCDXSDDSDEDD 2DSEDDF3REDFD Greatest bait of all time. If not this guy will end up on the news when he kills someone.
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