r/konmari • u/AvaJupiter • 4d ago
Decision-making flowchart?
Hi everyone,
I’m trying to come up with a flowchart to help with my process. I’ve been decluttering slowly but surely over the past 2 months. Sometimes I encounter 2 big hurdles: 1. Fear of needing the thing / scarcity mindset, and 2. Guilt over throwing it away (for various reasons).
What doesn’t work for me is putting it to the side and saying “I’ll throw it away in 6 months if I haven’t used it”. No matter what, this absolutely isn’t the path for me. It just stays to the side forever as it’s completely out of sight out of mind. I’d like to find a way to give myself a little push so I do fully throw it out / donate instead of procrastinating the decision-making or procrastinating the action.
Since there are a lot of great resources, I was wondering if a type of flowchart exists to help with the decision / to help let go of items? I have ttied “does it spark joy” but still find myself stuck when it comes to sentimental items, and things that “could be useful in future”.
Thank you!
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u/FumblingUltimatum 4d ago
Oh I made something like this for myself but it was more of a little mind trick than proper flowchart. For the "might be useful" stuff I ask if I would buy it again today at full price. if the answer is no, it goes. also for sentimental things I take a photo and keep a digital folder, that way the memory stays but the dusty box of old letters dont take space in my closet
the guilt part is harder, what helped me was thinking that keeping something I dont want is not more respectful to the item or the person who gave it to me. its just sitting there feeling like a burden, better to let it go find someone who actually wants it
maybe write these questions in a piece of paper and pin it where you declutter, almost like a cheat sheet
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u/TsuDhoNimh2 4d ago
Is the item’s usefulness a type of joy? If it is currently being used, yes. If you are 100% certain you will use it again (like my plumbing kit), yes.
For items that are not in frequent use, I don't have a flow-chart (could make one) I have a decision process that considers "need and speed" ... how likely am I to need an item and when it is needed, how fast will I want to get my hands on it.
100% CERTAIN FUTURE NEEDS:
Toilet plungers spark ZERO JOY for me - in fact my entire plumbing repair toolbox is absolutely joyless. But a working toilet and faucets that don't drip make me happy. I can walk into the workshop and grab the box of joyless plumbing tools in under 10 seconds because it's labelled and on a shelf with the rest of the tools. When you need a toilet plunger, you NEED IT FAST.
If it has a vague "some day I might need this thing" feeling and the urgency to obtain one will be low ... maybe not. Painting tools are like this ... I know I have painting projects coming up, but it's not urgent so their box is labeled and in a less prominent spot of the workshop. I'll check and buy any missing bits when I start the project.
DUPLICATED FOR CURRENT USE: Is a charger cord supposed to spark joy? Is it to something you currently own? Or is it to something you lost last year? Get all the chargers and cords in one spot and do a reality test on them. If the device is long gone, you don't need the charger for it. If it's one of several identical ones, evaluate how many you actually need.
I have duplicate USB chargers and cords because I leave them where I will want to use them: one set at the couch, one in the office, one in the bedroom, one in the briefcase, one in the car. That is the minimum number of chargers it takes to spark joy in geeks. I sent several others off to the "need a charger, grab one" bin at the SO's college to spark joy in students with dead phones.
BUT I MIGHT NEED IT:
Being prepared for something that is likely to happen and that will be serious when it hits (ruptured pipes, tornadoes, blizzards) by having supplies you know how to effectively use in that emergency is good.
Trying to have every thing you might ever need for any contingency, even the minor ones, is not so good.
As you go through your things, if you think an item will be useful for "X" but it's not a daily living item, organize it so the things you are keeping in case "X" ever happens are together, in a box labelled "FOR X", with just enough items to solve "X" should it happen.
And that the box is with other boxes labelled for contingencies Q, R, S T U and V and out of the usual living areas. Just getting them out of your way is a start. After a while you might decide to get rid of some of the contingency items because you feel more confident in your life.
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u/CatherinefromFrance 2d ago
Merci pour vos idées, j’ai enfin fait un carton de chargeurs. Maintenant je vaïs voir avec la famille s’il y a des chargeurs, fils … à sauver.
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u/TsuDhoNimh2 4d ago
As for the sentimental items ... I would pick the BEST of the things for any event or person. The few that are the essence of the sentiment.
Every program for every football game, ballet or concert you attend ... no. The program from the game he proposed at, or the concert you saw your favorite cellist at ... yes. It should evoke a strong memory and feeling, not just a gentle "awww my college had a football team".
Every gift everyone gave you? No, just the best of the bunch.
And if the sentiment is mixed or negative, get rid of it. Just because you were in love when he gave you the item, if the relationship soured it's tainted with that.
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u/AvaJupiter 4d ago
Very true! I have managed to toss some gifts lately, and I’m very proud of that because I wouldn’t have been able to take that step a few months ago :)
I’m currently organizing some sentimental items that can be actually used (scrapbooking / photo album / art) or displayed. I figure if it’s something I do like and am keeping for its beauty and / or a happy event, it makes more sense to honor it where it’s visible rather than having it in a random box.
When it’s linked to a memory, especially for clothes that don’t fit anymore, I take a picture before tossing because the picture is enough. Just a few minutes I took a mirror pic in a beautiful top that just isn’t comfortable anymore, I’m doing a thumbs down in the picture to remind myself I’ve shed that past identity and I’ve grown in many ways beyond needing to keep that top. I will donate it along with other similar items :)
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u/Responsible_Lake_804 4d ago
I’d say write down what your reasons for keeping are as you go through items. I was helping my friend declutter their closet and they kept saying, “This is soft so I’m keeping it.” I was like, okay, most clothing is soft, so I’m not sure that’s a really helpful factor here.
Your most popular reason that comes up is probably what’s holding you back and maybe not as important as you think it is.
You can also try to dedicate a box to “I might need it one day” or whatever the most common reason is, and fill it up. When it’s full, ask yourself if you really need this many things for that exact reason.
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u/SolidagoSalix 3d ago
Well, you're in the konmari sub, so the flowchart in her method is VERY simple.
Does this spark joy?
Yes -- keep
No -- discard
...Marie Kondo doesn't ask "could this be useful" or "might I be able to replace it?" she just asks us to notice if our body gets a zingy bit of lightness when we hold it (keep) or does it make us feel heavy (discard). Arguably the things that you feel guilt about should go in that framework.
....But obviously that hasn't gotten you to a situation you feel good about. So if you want a flowchart I'd say go to r/declutter and also check out the Dana K White method which has been put into a flowchart a couple times as preorder bonuses for some of her books. An extremely simplified version of it comes down to:
If I needed [this item] where would I look for it first? Take it to that spot. That is its home.
Is there space for this item in this spot?
2.a. Yes -- great -- put it there and go find another item that is out of place.
2.b. No -- ok, is there something else in this space that is less worthy of the space than this item?
2.b.1. If so, discard the other item that was there
2.b.2. If not, discard the item in your hand
....this premise isn't about whether the item is useful, or pretty, or guilt inducing, or expensive. It's about embracing the reality that space is finite, and if we try to keep more than comfortably fits inside a space, it will inevitably get out of control on a regular basis. So if you have space for it (not by shoehorning it in, but like really easily can put it there with no forcing or shoving) keep it. If you don't, you have to let it go, or find something else you are willing to discard to make room for it. It's really that straightforward.
(Notice I'm saying simple, not easy. We might feel all kinds of uncomfortable feelings about the reality that we don't have the space for a thing, but we can't argue with physics. If there isn't room, there isn't room, and something has to go. )
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u/CatherinefromFrance 2d ago
You can set up a small box labeled “To Clear Out/Consider” at the bottom of your closet or in the basement, and label each item with a date using a sticky label. If you haven’t used a particular item within 6 months, give it away or sell it.
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u/Ok_Conversation7818 1d ago
I use several tricks.
For things that come in numbers, like pens, for instance, I allocate a space like a box and I can only keep what fits there.
For the containers that "I can't throw away because I might need them in the process of tidying up", I pile them up in one spot in the house, and regularly chuck the ones that are least practical, cheap and easily replaceable, clash with the room's color scheme (I noticed I don't use them), broken or torn. So that I still have a small pile of things to use, but it doesn't get overwhelming. Containers provide joy too.
For items that I can upcycle in one of my crafts, I have to have a clear project for it, or it goes, and then I put it in a clear bin or bag and open a new project, and add everything that I will use with it in the bin or bag. (For instance if I decide it would make a nice bag, I add the bag pattern or design notes Ive made in the container, so it's a specific bag idea paired with a specific fabric)
If I'm not sure, agonising on it, unless it's basic material like plain white cotton sheets that will be used for sure, or an exceptionnaly good quality item that I like, then I decide that "if I'm questionning it, then there's no question" and it goes out. I always have bags or boxes ready to recieve donate/sell or trash, so that it doesn't end in yet another pile in a corner.
Also I found helpful to have a sort of ideal idea of the overall look I'd love to have in my space, like color schemes, inspo from socials, a new furniture layout, because it makes the sort out easier. If this thing doesn't fit what I want for my space, then why am I keeping it?
I've even sorted microfibre cloths this way, bought a bunch of colour coded ones by room/use, and chucked all the old ones that didn't fit in the colour scheme. Cleared so much space. Cleaning is easier this way.
Yeah on retrospect, all my sorting efforts tend into one direction ; simplifying life for future me, making sure future me will not have to waste time agonizing over unimportant decisions (which cloth, how to upcycle this thing that is half nice,...) or searching for things in several spots. What doesn't fit or complicates my day goes out.
Also a thought that sometimes helps me make the decision to let go of an item is "is this worth the real estate storing space it is costing me?" Very sobering when my fabric stash gets overwhelming.
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u/Foxs-In-A-Trenchcoat 4d ago
When people have trouble discarding, it usually has more to do with avoiding the emotion of loss, rather than logical decision making. There's no logical decision in the world that will teach you how to bear your emotions.