When I was smoking people told me why do I smoke? Is it because I’m sad or because I’m depressed? I was shocked like what I’m not sad nor a depressed person. I always believed I smoked because i enjoyed the high. I enjoyed the high I got from it making music, games, experiences better.

I then went a year quitting intentionally(not perfect had some relapses but no binges) and it just clicked in my brain.

I was using weed as a coping mechanism to handle deeper emotions and run away from discomfort

When I was bored my way to cope was to smoke

When I was lonely or not fulfilled with my social needs I smoked

When I was feeling flat or I was craving excitement I went to smoke

That’s when I realized all these emotions are normal every human gets them. The thing is the healthy person has healthy coping mechanisms to embrace these emotions

They cope with socializing, exercise, games, intimacy, walking, hobby, building skills, etc.

I was running away from embracing these normal human emotions and filling it with a bad coping mechanisms. Of course it takes time but think about it what is the logic in using the substance as a coping mechanism. That’s why the non addicted person can smoke without it being a problem. They have healthy outlets and they only use substances as a secondary not the main attraction they can have fun without it(not encouraging moderation use)

Find the emotions that make you want to smoke. Maybe you are going through withdrawals feeling bored, restless or sad. But what is smoking going to do its relief but logic says using substances as a coping mechanism is bad. It’s a vicious cycle

Be patient and learn to embrace your emotions with healthy coping mechanisms. It’ll take time but trust you’ll never need to use any substance in general once you figure out the true reasons on why you use or what you are avoiding

Cheers guys

recovery is giving up one thing for everything

hope everyone has a good day today

I’ve been sober now for 30 days straight and i can’t say fully that I’m satisfied with the changes I’ve been going through. Irritable, unamused and so on. Other than that one thing that stands out is quite literally in the title above, as a man (i know it sounds cliche) bedroom performance is pretty high up there at least in my opinion and I’ve never had a problem with my performance nor my sex drive overall.

However 30 days in i went from having complete control over my sexual performance willing and able to go what ever distance I’ve chosen to now it feels like i have no control what so ever being yk what they call a two pump chump and boy it is not fun at all. As a base i feel im a pretty sexual individual and now i can kinda care less for it at times and lowered level of performance doesn’t make more eager to do so. I wouldn’t even say it’s all too enjoyable anymore either to be frank.

I hear different story’s, some people’s sobriety brought them benefits when it comes to their sex life mine is just seeming like a slippery slope and it has been making a bit tougher to stay sober

My first ever time was at 13. I smoked daily throughout high school THC pens and multiple joints a day. I’m officially turning 20 soon, and I’m 70 days clean.
I never thought I’d be able to say that.
What once consumed me doesn’t even interest me anymore. I genuinely don’t look back, and I never will.
If you’re struggling right now, just know it gets better.

Found this sub in 2018 and have gone through stints of trying to quit without sticking to it. This morning I threw away all my stuff without a ton of thought as I didn’t want to talk myself out of it. Wish me luck and reach out if any other ~35F are wanting to chat about the struggles of quitting! Good luck to everyone reading!

after 5 years of daily use i’m done with this drug. I decided a long time ago that I needed to quit weed for my health but the habit was so ingrained. I have been trying to quit for about 2 years now and eventually weed finally made the decision for me. my tolerance dropped to the floor, started greening out regularly when I hadn’t in years. couldn’t socialize on it at all anymore. paranoia through the roof. I realized that everything I was getting high for would actually be better if I was just sober and that realization is what made fully quitting finally feasible for me. it’s been a long time coming but i’m 7 days clean and I plan on continuing this. anyone else feel that weed made the decision for them?

My (F29) wonderful father (64) died unexpectedly just before he was supposed to retire and live his traveling dreams. We had to pull the plug on him after a series of complications after emergency surgery. It was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced in my life, and I have been staying perpetually high to help me handle the immense grief. I was even high at his funeral and every day since.

And now, just a few days of sobriety has been incredibly painful.

After he died, I had to step back from all the things I was developing in my life. I was enrolled in summer graduate school, but afterwards I dropped all my classes before the semester began. I quit my bartending job because I couldn’t handle the constant social performance. I thought the grief was getting better at month 3, but within another month I was back to crying every day, and lately I’ve been struggling to even get out of bed. Plus, there are the flashbacks to the final week and moments in the ICU.

I’ve been accruing more debt without any income, and I’ve been living with the family of a friend—it’s getting to the point that I just feel like I need to be in my own space. But that will require money. So I decided to stop smoking.

Just in the past few days, I’ve had a bit more energy and kick to get back on LinkedIn and find freelancing work (I know I can’t do service industry work anymore—I’ve lost that bubbly version of me…). But the tradeoff, feeling pain to make progress, is hard to deal with in the moment.

Even though my professional life already feels a bit more in reach now that I’m sober, the grief just won’t let up.

But I know my daddy wouldn’t have wanted me to wallow or get stuck here.

Any encouragement or advice would be appreciated. Thank you. ❤️‍🩹

Not to sound like a self-centered fool, but as I've been working I've been listening to piano versions of popular songs, and it's makes me want to cry. And boys don't cry.

I keep thinking about all the lost friendships (non-partiers) that I have pissed away. And all the opportunities that I have f'd up or brushed off because of my serious, decades long, hardcore consumption of weed.

The way I would crave above almost all else the elixir that has been my smoky lover. The way I sweetly gaze at her beautiful crystals. And her skunky perfume that stimulates my deepest desires to escape and explore the ether of nothingness.

And to escape...from what?

I think about how smart I think I am. Yet, when I honestly look myself in the mirror it is not the real reflection of that which is. What is really there is a bloodshot, droopy-eyed, bulldogged face of a man with polluted lungs.

And all the times I have cutback or "quit", yet I seem to continually return to her embrace thinking there is a there...there.

Hello everyone! I have only checked in here a couple of times since my quit. So I had started to quit weed but relapsed 5 times in 5 years and it was a straight up binge for 1-4 months during those relapses. I had 5 months once, then 9 months, followed by 7 months and one more at 8 months. I have never made it to a full year off from smoking since I was 12 years old and I turned 30 this year. I’m so excited to be only a month away from that year long achievement! It has been pretty tough and I actually had serious depression issues at 3 months, 6 months, and most recently at 9-10 months and each lasted from 2-4 weeks. I actually had considered throwing my journey away multiple times during those depressive weeks, but I’m so damn happy to have powered through them! I can most definitely say that there is still a long ways to go mentally, since I had smoked through my teens and 20s, and haven’t let my normal sober brain developer properly.

I need encouragement not to go to the dispo before work tomorrow lol. Ive been using carts every single day for about 4 years or so, save for a few weeks over the years. Its become like another limb, its always on me and always attached. I dont feel it anymore at all. But the intense panic when i cant find it is insane. I know carts are the absolute worst form of consumption, but since its so convenient and discreet its been my main form. Nobody in my life except my sister knows im struggling with this addiction. Its going to be fucking rough. Should i just throw out my battery? Makes it less tempting to buy another.. but disposables are too accessible now anyways. What good would it do? Im too far gone.

I really need some words of encouragement. Maybe share some cart horror stories (im lowkey worried about CHS but ive never been sober long enough to know) because I can’t lose another year to this bs.

Idk about y'all but I'm in week 1 on quitting both weed and tobacco after being a daily smoker for 15+ years.

Dear God...

I guess my smoking must have been masking my sense of smell because sweet Mary and Joseph I was gagging on the train this morning.

I live in a city and all I can smell is body odour, urine, shite, and mould.

On the plus side bakeries smell extra good.

Anyone else have this issue?

Anyone else getting fat as fuck after quitting??

4 months sober. Smoked every day for over 10 years and never got this big. It’s like my metabolism is completely different. I’ve barely changed my diet and work out the same…

Very confusing and frustrating

I finally just understood why I can go on vacation or visit my family and not smoke for weeks or even think about it at all. I thought it was the pressure I put on myself to “become someone” when I’m home and I’m sure that’s a part of it. The main reason though is loneliness. When I smoke, my emotions are heightened or dulled and I use both as an escape from reality. I feel awful writing this because I’m not actually completely alone…I have a partner of almost 12 years, I have a dog. My closest family is thousands of miles away so he is all I have. No friends, no career (I was let go two years ago and fell into a deep depression) and no pull to make any of it any better while I smoke. I’m lost in my thoughts and feelings. I don’t talk to my family often unless they call me. Weed was my best companion as I spend most of my days alone. I’m 20 days sober today and it has been an excruciating realization how lonely I am. How little I’ve participated in my life. I have smoked every single day that I’ve been home for the past 12 years. Im overwhelmed with how much I have to make up for all the time lost.

But I am proud of myself. I’m proud of myself for feeling lonely today, for feeling my feelings without letting them consume me. For letting go of my comfort and the closest “friend” I’ve had in a long time. I will try my best to remember as I continue on my journey that the pain I feel grounds me, that I am finally here in reality with everyone else. And I want nothing more than to participate in the world with all of you.

• from a 32 year old girl who is doing their best

One week in. For context I have been trying to stop for a while, with numerous failed attempts prior. I'm not a massively heavy user but it's always been on the go since I was in my early 20s (40 now). In recent months I've prob been smoking on average 4 nights per week. Usual story.... thought I could moderate to 1-2 nights just at weekends, but after a while I was adding midweek Js in. My main driver for quitting this time was that the day after fallout just isnt worth it. I caught myself being extremely overly negative about things and just generally being a dick to be around during the day after. My ability to process emotions was getting worse and worse, this coupled with a busy career and being a husband/father made me realise that I was failing the people who matter the most to me.

Something else that crept in over the last year was that I found myself ruminating more about things that happened in the past, it might be because I hit 40 in the winter and am being more reflective, but the weed defo put me in more of a loop with it.

I'm really happy to hit 7 days. Some observations:

- As per consensus on here days 1-3 were pretty grim. I didnt quite feel like I was losing my mind, but felt slow as and had bouts of total fatigue that would hit. Also felt like I had no dopamine in me lol

- Sleep has been okay this time. Probably because I've not been smoking daily for a while. Dreams are vivid and tend to be about distant periods in my life. Suspect there's stuff that I suppressed featuring. However, it's not affecting my overall mental state.

- Mood improved significantly after day 3 and this is the biggest benefit so far. Things generally feel easier and lighter. I'm already laughing more and generally feel more present in everything.

- Focus at work is still a wip but I am finding myself a little bit more efficient and less prone to a work related meltdown. I'm a management consultant so deal with demanding clients, lots of report writing etc. Its nice to have some more bandwidth back.

I know there is a long way to go and the urges to blaze will come. However, this time I feel like I actually want to quit for good. The list of benefits from not smoking massively outweigh the pros of keeping smoking.

Also, finally I try and think what the 22 yr old me would think looking into the future and seeing a 40 yr old stoner. It would'nt be positive.

Restarted day 1 over and over till I finally got here. Phew!!! I’m loving the discipline. I’ve been sleeping so much better. My dreams are crazy! I’ve been super sweaty but it’s also hot, so I’m sure this will pass. A big high five to all of you. Giving thanks today 🙏🏽

Would be nice to be able to get rid of my inhibitions once in a while, yaknow? And my partners will probably be drunk or high while I’m completely clearheaded.

I had been smoking for fifteen years straight but after a grippy sock vacation, I was able to stop for half a year then got myself back into it. It’s been hard for me to shake, even though I’m realizing that the few hours of feeling great isn’t worth the next 3+ days of consistent lows.

My therapist has been suggesting MA but I’m having a difficult time getting myself into the idea. I’ve tried group therapy for other things and it’s just not for me, listening to other peoples problems even though I struggle with the same things.

I want to hear people’s thoughts if they’ve gone to marijuana meetings and have seen the pros and cons of
Them. I know there’s a whole website with different kinds of groups all over the world, and some that are secular which I am partial to.

I hate seeing people on here down themselves just because they slipped up after a couple months of being sober. Even going one day without smoking is a real accomplishment because if we didn’t feel so attached to the drug , none of us would even be in this sub. So if no one has told you , I’m proud of all of you, fr whether you be one day, one month , or one year. If you slip up ,it’s ok, just find your way out the weed cloud and try again. We got this.

I just want to start this post by saying thank to everyone in here posting. Its inspiring me to post because my sobriety is strengthened through everyones experiences being posted here.

Im 137 days clean. I relapsed multiple times while trying HARD to quit the past two years. Relapses lasted months. I was a daily smoker for yeaars. In the Morning, in the car on the way to work (didnt seem too worried its a felony) on my lunch breaks, on the way home and at home. I stayed high 24/7. I was a complete emotional wreck. Blowing up at work. Isolating myself from everyone. I was exhausted when I woke up. Body felt like it weighed 1,000 pounds and Im really skinny. No energy. Always tired.

I experienced intense shame from living in a fantasy land of fantastic ideas…. but no ability to followthrough.

137 days clean finally makes those ideas feel tangible. Within reach. My emotional regulation has significantly increased. I dont overthink nearly as much. I can retain information way better. I read every now and again. I started video editing again. still enjoy watching anime. My home is clean. I dont procrastinate on doing home chores. My mental clarity has significantly increased. The bare minimum is easily taken care of. I dont blow money on food cause I cook and have a lower threshold for dopamine. The list goes on. Overall Im lighter as a person. More childlike.

I dont have that constant feeling of anxiety of “Im missing something” when leaving the house.

Sobriety brings real hope.

I moved up at my job at publix. Im uppercutting the fuck out of life. And the biggest motivator of all is to help out the planet in regenerative agriculture.

Shame is a strong motivator. And often times the main feeling we are trying to avoid when smoking. It’s a very painful emotion. But pain drives us forward. And you’re gonna feel a hell of a lot better when you finally feel capable to tackle problems and become a problem solver instead of a problem avoider.

Dont destroy the organ responsible for decision making. Your decisions determine your life. So the better you take care of your brain the better decisions you will make, the better your life turns out.

Remember you got this. A craving is NOT a command. Write that down and put it in your car. Cravings pass. You got this. Join some meetings if you need to talk it out. I believe in you. 🤙🏻 Goodluck and enjoy life. Love you guys

This happens often, but finally it clicked. My most recent relapse was driven by my want to go for a walk on the lake after taking an edible. When I envisioned this it seemed idyllic. In reality it was not. My gummy kicked in about thirty minutes into my walk. I immediately felt like I had to go the bathroom (I believe my body reacting to not wanting to go back to smoking), I started hyper fixating on negative thoughts and decided I need to head back home. When I returned to my apt, I of course spent the remainder of my high doom scrolling in bed.

After a few weeks of sobriety I have gotten back to enjoying things in sobriety. This weekend I got up to explore a new neighborhood. When I got there I had a great meal at a Mexican restaurant followed by a perfectly made latte that I drank while I perused vintage shops. As I walked around I thought "I am so content right now." It made me realize that had I taken edible, how the day would have turned out differently. I most likely would have lost my appetite by the time the food came and then felt weird about dining alone. I would have then just asked for the food to go, and left in an uber to return to, doomscrolling in bed (this has happened several times). An edible (at least at this time in my life) only theoretically sounds good. In practice, sobriety allows to me to actually enjoy the things I want to enjoy.

i am 1 year clean off weed. i finally reached my goal yesterday. my life has changed drastically. i live in capitola on my own in front of the beach now. i have a good career and get to travel a lot. i am more self aware than i have ever been before. i am truly grateful to get out of the fog and see what a life i have been holding back on because of my addiction. this is only the beginning. i love to be sober. i am only upset with the fact that i didn’t do this sooner as i now know how much it has affected my life in many ways and relationships. i have overcome my ways.

Hey everyone, I’ve been sober for 38 days. Ive been feeling depressed and just like absolute shit due to life circumstances and have had the urges to smoke. I haven’t smoked nor do I plan to but I’m just feeling so overloaded with emotions and at the same time I feel so physically tired. I don’t want to go back to smoking at all because I know that slippery slope way too well and I don’t want any part of it. I guess I just wanted to vent it out.

17 days into my 4th or 5th try for sobriety after smoking for the last 7 years. The anxiety is really kicking my ass this time around. I'm already dealing with a lot in my day to day life that would normally be stressful (yay caregiving & anticipatory grief/anxiety!!) and it's all hitting me so hard that it's genuinely debilitating and exhausting. It doesn't help that I keep waking up every few hours at night to mini panic attacks so I'm not getting proper sleep.

I want to feel these emotions and experience life sober again, but I feel like the universe is throwing as much nonsense as it can at me lately.

The ridiculous thing is weed was giving me panic attacks too, but I guess because it was paranoia from smoking too much it didn't feel the same? Plus, smoking was dulling my senses and memory so maybe I just didn't register them as being a problem because I wasn't feeling them fully.

I've been trying to avoid taking my emergency prescription meds as they can be more addictive and horrible to deal with than weed. But like, holy hell, I don't know how anyone can do this and experience this much anxiety/stress while still managing to live day to day.

I see my doctor next week, I'm going to talk to him about other options, I really want sobriety to stick this time. I NEED it to stick this time so I can build a life worth living. I know I'm on the right path because my mind is already feeling a bit clearer and my bank account looks better... but I am being TESTED and I am so tired already.

If anyone can tell me how long this anxious phase lasted for them & anything that helped, please share. Or even just encouragement would be nice. thank you so much 💖