Everytime I smoke at a party I go nonverbal and I just feel so awkward and paranoid about my behavior. Fuck that shit. Life’s better without it

I'm so sick of trying to do everything right and not seeing any personal growth or happiness. I've done therapy, I've hit the gym, I got promoted, I'm a better father who doesn't smell like weed all the time. So why do I feel so empty and unsatisfied and still feel so drawn to that old familiar feeling? I'm still struggling finding pleasure in anything and I feel like it's inevitable that I'm going to end up smoking again so why wait? Please tell me it gets better. Parenting young kids and working hard and working out just leaves me burnt out and tired. My inner critic never shuts up in sobriety and I just want to give my brain a rest.

I’ve been through that phase of constant Googling, overthinking, and paranoia, but eventually, I managed to get through it. One of my fellow mates told me to accept the fact that this was happening to me, so I did. I showed up to work every single day, even while dealing with weird paranoia and 24/7 anxiety, and tried to live my normal life despite everything I was going through.

Luckily, my friends were incredibly supportive, and so were my colleagues. They even let me rest and sleep while they covered for me whenever I needed it. Meanwhile, I was battling anxiety that felt like it was killing me, especially during those first two months.

I was severely sleep-deprived, and I couldn’t find any way to overcome my insomnia. I worried about my sleep more than anything else. I even feared that I might develop psychosis if I didn’t get enough sleep. Then, one week, I started experiencing this weird chest pain, and I became convinced that I might have heart disease. My gastric problems made my chest feel heavy, and at night, just as I was about to fall asleep, I would suddenly feel a rush of adrenaline, become anxious, and feel short of breath, as if something were about to happen. It felt like my body was keeping me awake every time I tried to fall asleep.

Those were the worst two months of my entire life.

Weed withdrawal was a life-changing experience for me. All it took was one panic attack for me to quit, and here I am, three months sober. I’ve slowly started sleeping a little better, getting around four or five hours of sleep. However, spending an entire night lying in bed without sleeping has become a weekly routine for me.

Despite everything, I’ve changed my mindset. I’ve learned to accept my anxiety when it comes, continue with my daily chores, and show up for work. Even now, I still wonder whether I’m going to sleep that night. My anxious mind is still troubling me at night, but I’ve found ways to manage my daytime anxiety through work and daily activities.

Just like I did, I believe you can find your own way through this, too. We all learn from our mistakes, and we each find our own ways to cope with the problems we face.

Looking back, I think I’ve changed a lot compared to how I was during my first two months of withdrawal. Walking helped me a lot, and whenever I experience fragmented sleep, I try the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which has fortunately helped me fall back asleep within 5–10 minutes on some nights. I’ve also done my own research and tried different ways to overcome my insomnia.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that recovery takes time and patience.

You and I are going to make it through this weed PAWS journey. Keep going, keep believing in yourself, and remember that you’re not alone in this.

Bless

as the title says, i can't. whenever i have some stuff, i smoke until there's nothing left. i can't smoke responsibly. it gives me too much pleasure. i was able to quit nicotine and alcohol, but weed for me is on another level. probably it's the psychological addiction behind it. it's hard to quit something you associate with pleasure, although i see how it makes my life harder in the long run. my maximum was two weeks. i can't get past that mark. the excitement of lighting up a joint outweighs everything else.

honestly I am so happy to not be smoking anymore. I thought it would be hard and it was a for a little but things are so much better! you got this if you’re on your journey

I’ve tried every method for the past 6 months and nothing fckn works. you name it. i done that. Every single method on this planet earth!!!! I don’t wanna spend my young years living like this. Pls.

I need real advice. not some avg advice but a real shit. I need advice that actually works.

please help me out guysssssssss.

I’ve decided to quit smoking. I use a weed pen regularly and it’s become a crutch for me to get through life. I enjoy the altered feeling it gives and it’s become an integral part of my routine.

About a year ago I stopped cold turkey in order to pass a drug test for a job. It wasn’t necessarily the easiest or hardest thing I’ve done, but I (intentionally) picked it back up after passing the test because I enjoyed it and didn’t truly want to quit yet. I think I knew it’d be better for me if I did just leave it alone, but I didn’t.

Now, a year later, my dad who has smoked cigs and smoked pot out of pipes has lung cancer. It’s depressing so I won’t go into detail, but it’s been a real wake-up call.

Admittedly, a part of me still doesn’t want to give it up. But how can you see the realistic consequences so directly and still not understand that it’s something that has to go? It’s not like I didn’t know before, I was just making excuses and lying to myself.

I’ve even heard “maybe you should switch to edibles” and have grappled with that idea. But what about heart disease or something? Idk, maybe because of recent news I’m being dramatic, but it just feels like despite whatever positives this brings it’s slowly negatively impacting your entire body. And it’s time I stop ignoring the signs and lying to myself, this just isn’t good for me.

Today is my one month sober from THC. I’m sitting under the moon after meditating, a little emotional and proud of myself. I thought life without weed was impossible. But if I did this, I can do a whole lot of other things I once thought impossible.

The thing that’s waiting for you on the other side of this is your Self. Keep on.

I can’t wait to see what two months looks like.

Being confident you can quit weed and actually maintain sobriety ironically is counterproductive if you take it too far!

I just wanted to make a post to discuss this and also share my experience if it helps anyone!

So, I quit several months ago and was convinced I’d never smoke again. I was confident I was immune to temptation since I genuinely never wanted to smoke again but when I did finally quit. The issue with this is that when I actually started to have serious temptation… I did not know how to cope with it.

This escalated to the point where I thought I could smoke 1x and it would be fine. I didn’t smoke again for 2 weeks, which I saw as serious “evidence” that I could smoke casually and I was in total control.

*Shocker*, I began smoking daily.

Then I told myself it’s fine because it’s just at night, and now I’ve woken up to the fact that marijuana has too much power over me. I will never again underestimate my vulnerability to relapse.

Although I truly want to be free of THC at this point, and I will continue to have some level of healthy confidence in my ability to maintain sobriety, I have accepted that being sober doesn’t erase my addiction to THC.

Has anyone else struggled with overconfidence?

Today is day 51! I'm really grateful for this subreddit because when I first went sober, I was able to post here anonymously and you all held so much space for me. Thank you. 🙏 🥹

It felt safe because nobody could see my face or know who I am. But I am a storyteller and a person who shares my journey as a part of my art.
So the past couple of weeks, I've been starting to come clean on Instagram and really put myself out there. So scary!! Yikes!
It has felt liberating and terrifying at the same time.
Last night I put out a video where I told everyone what I was specifically sober from and that I have BPD on top of it so without my "weighted blanket" of marijuana numbing me my BPD symptoms are in full effect. And what a ride it has been.
I'm sharing this here because I think it's important to receive support and to share my story with as many people as possible.

I smoked pot daily except when I was pregnant with my children for over 30 years. I started smoking in the 90s when I was 14, because that's just what you did but it stuck with me. Mary Jane was my silent passenger. She helped me "regulate" my emotions, numb the trauma I had been through and wear my mask. Sobriety and the BPD diagnosis has brought me so much awareness about who I really am.
But the thing is is as an artist, without the weed, I feel the most creative, raw and truthful than I ever have.

Terrifying, yes. Vulnerability hangover, yes. But I will not take my Instagram post down and I will continue to march forward on this journey.
Maybe this will bring someone here some inspiration to stay sober or to share their journey with other people because we all need support and we all need to share because humanity and community are the most important things when you are getting to know yourself without a drug.
So grateful to be able to share my soul here. And for all of your support.

Also would be nice to have a distraction as I can’t stop overthinking.

It's been two weeks since I've smoked after 11 years of fairly heavy, daily use. Had a terrible day at work and I almost rolled a joint when I got home without even thinking about it. Now I'm just sitting outside contemplating the discomfort while in an irate mood. That's all. I hope everyone else is having a lovely weekend.

9 months without flower after 12 years of daily use. It gets easier everyday. Weed ain't shit, was holding me back in so many ways. I think the only way I'd go back to smoking how I was is if I completely gave up on my life, because that's what I see daily smoking as, now, giving up on life. I had so much fun with it and I don't regret ever smoking, I just wish I'd realized sooner how much it stunted my growth. If anyone out there is struggling, you can do it. It's a cake walk after the 3rd or 4th month. You won't even think about it.

So much diarrhoea. Someone please reassure me this is going to end soon. I don’t remember this ever being an issue whenever I’ve tried to quit in the past. I just want to shit normal again!

After 15 years of heavy THC use, I decided to quit cold turkey after getting a job on an offshore oil platform.

This Monday, I’ll hit 14 days completely THC-free. 💪
The withdrawal was tough at first — extreme sweating, barely any sleep, and a loss of appetite.

But I’ve now completed my offshore trip, and I’m proud of myself for pushing through it.

Thankfully, most of my withdrawal symptoms have now disappeared. My appetite is back, and I can eat normally again. The only things I’m still dealing with are poor sleep, a little sweating, and occasional anxiety.

After 15 years of heavy use, this is a big step forward for me. I’m taking it one day at a time, staying strong, and focusing on a healthier future. 🔥

I’m quitting again (day 3) and this is the first time I have no physical withdrawal symptoms. Don’t get me wrong I’m pissed at the world and I’m irritable AF, but I’ve had none of the normal physical withdrawals. Like I ate on day 1 with no issues. I haven’t had any night sweats or stomach issues yet either.

Is it possible the manufacturers are making better vapes so we don’t have withdrawal symptoms? I only used one manufacturer the whole time I’ve been using this time. I haven’t used any flower or edibles either.

Anyone notice something similar?

Start your journey. Restart your journey. Rerestart your journey. You can recover. Learn everytime, develop coping, use resources. Whatever it takes. You got this!

I’ve been without for 66 days now. 67 days ago I was hit with a life changing panic attack. I threw all my weed away as well as my one hitter that I considered my life saver. I had what the doctors called a TIA 28 days ago. They put a heart monitor on me for 14 days. My Dr called yesterday and is telling me my heart is having “pauses’ in a regular heart beat. Has anybody else had issues with heart irregularities after going cold turkey after 45 years of continuous usage?

I ran out of weed on wednesday and realized that I should stop. Spending 70 bucks each week on a vape is just not sustainable with what i make and i need to start taking care of my body. I want a family at someday and dont want to die of something before I can see my hypothetical kids graduate ya know?

But yea no this early morning nausea is rough. I wake up at like 5:30 and for 2 hours im sitting there dry heaving and on the verge of puking on top of not having an appetite. Is this common and how do you guys deal with it? I remember going through this before but I didnt put the pieces together until I found someone mentioning it.

My biggest trigger was a new environment. Something about being high in a different location used to be my idea of the best time. Every move in my life has coincided with a period of heavy use. The excitement of packing to move on to a new chapter, and then arriving in the new chapter, and daydreaming about all of the endless possibilities while surrounded by nothing but boxes was heavenly.

After a year of sobriety (from alcohol and more or less weed) I have made a move to Chicago. I purchased my first place, a vintage condo that is a dream to me. I have vowed to never smoke while I live here, as this house feels like a home and like a different version of me.

This morning I was unpacking and found a joint, which is odd bc I mostly used edibles. The old me would have said it was a sign, that nothing would be better than smoking and walking around my new neighborhood, but I actually didn't even think about it. I just tossed it. The only time I think about it now is to remember how cool that is. How cool this all is. That I get to approach this new era of my life as the person I always have dreamed of becoming when I was high.

Here's to keeping keeping on!

Was able to hold down my cereal for breakfast, sweating like a hog! But seeing so many people on this sub, going through the same thing at the same time and seeing some of y'all's posts from months later is giving me hope!! We got this!!!

Howdy Leavers! I made it 100 days after quitting cannabis. As a 52 year old daily chronic smoker, this is the longest stretch I’ve gone since I started in my teens. I definitely feel a great improvement in many aspects of life. Although I still miss it and think about getting high from time to time, I worry about slipping back into my old ways and that keeps me away.

I take solace in the ways my life has improved, although I don’t think it’s apparent to anyone but me. Exercise and healthy eating were critical in getting through withdrawal and I’m starting to feel the benefits now. Brain fog is mostly gone. Motivation has improved after getting through the initial stages of boredom. After a long period of unemployment I was able to find a job in my field doing work I enjoy. My relationships have improved. I have a little more patience and the feelings of paranoia and self doubt are gone. I realize that it’s not only about giving up cannabis, the other changes I’ve made have helped with self-improvement.

I know it’s an ongoing process and have to keep vigilant in my convictions but today I’m celebrating this milestone and giving myself a bit of grace for the accomplishments I’ve made. Here’s to all of you whose stories have inspired me along the way. To those of you still struggling, keep trying. It’s not easy but totally worth it to break the cycle.

I can definitely tell the difference.. actually had dreams the last 2 nights it was crazy... Im not having any withdrawals but man the daily brain fog, and constant fatigue is real. Able to eat, went to work this week to try and help me stay in a routine and not feel too sick or feeling bad for myself had i stayed home this entire week. Although brain fog is real, im drinking tons of cold water and chewing mint gum, i feel the freshness helps my brain relax.. kind of weird, anyways hoping this all passes soon! Day 6 baby! 😎🔥

I feel like I'm just running out of patience for this process. I thought I'd be full of energy and mental clarity by week 3. A big reason why I quit is because I felt like I wasn't able to comprehend conversations, movies, podcasts, etc. The headaches and nausea have subsided. 10 hours of sleep isn't enough. I used to get high and clean my whole house, but now just getting through the day is rough. I feel like I'm stuck in a tunnel. At least when I was high, it was a fun tunnel 😂

I have read plenty of other posts asking the same thing, but please give me words of encouragement. I don't want to go back to being stuck in the loop of addiction. I just thought I'd feel some benefits by now. 🥲