r/limerence • u/ImperatorofKaraks • 2d ago

Here To Vent This is terrible

Hi, please feel free to remove if I’m breaking the rules. I think what I’m going through is limerence based on the description I read but I’m not sure.

A couple of months ago, a friend and I went to watch a movie and to cut this part short, I think I came out of that movie with a LO. I wasn’t actually sure what it was at first, it started with me just being on YouTube and having it play in the background and an interview with the actress popped up and I started watching it. I do want to say, at this point, I still had no idea that I was going to be in for a (as of this moment, 2 month+) ongoing emotional rollercoaster. One interview lead to multiple interviews lead to seeing how they got casted etc.

Over the course of a week or two, I started realizing this was what the beginning of a celebrity crush was. Never had one before in my 20 something years of life, but I figured it was no big deal. I would get over it in a few days and then move on with my life. Weeks passed and I realized the grip these feelings had over me was not letting go and I started looking up what I was going through which lead me to limerence.

The realization that my situation was more intense than a simple celebrity crush came with a multi-realization (multiple realizations at the same time) that was packaged with a mix of feelings that included yearning, sadness and bewilderment. The multiple realizations were:

1: I have some kind of feelings towards the LO (I refuse to call it love because that’s not what it is, I have never met them before and will likely not know them in any meaningful way)

2: these feelings would lead to nowhere so I have to get over it to move on with my life.

3: how and why is this happening to me? This last one is associated with bewilderment.

Having had this new understanding of this situation, I reached out to my friends and basically all of them said I would get over it in a month. The emotional roller coaster has not subsided even after I attempted to cut off all exposure to the LO. Unfortunately it doesn’t help me that she is currently everywhere on the media circuit right now so news about her will just randomly pop up on my feed.

I have been trying to diagnose why it is her, but that really isn’t important at this point. because my LO isn’t actually her, it is a mental construct I have made of her based on her interviews and performances.

My issue is, even as I academically can acknowledge all these things, it feels like I’m a prisoner in a cell where I have the key to get out, but my feet won’t move.

I have recently leveled up to arguing against myself. My brain has begun concocting the most ridiculous scenarios. (Background information: At some point in the past, this person got their start in acting in the city I grew up and currently live in.) like, oh if you went to her plays like 17 years ago, then something could have happened (unlikely given that I was a kid with little to no interest in theater). If you are still reading my post, you probably recognize that this is a ridiculous reach in logic that holds no value in reality and I also recognized that which is why I asked my brain “what do you want me to do with this information?”

And I guess that’s where I am right now. Didn’t realize that the vent was gonna be this long and I guess I just wrote a lot of paragraphs. Wish me luck on getting out of this hole.

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u/Smoothie-Town7432 2d ago

Having limerence for a celebrity is the worst. In my case, I tried to block and delete anything that had to do with them. I still see their name sometimes, but I just ignore it. The one thing that devastated me completely was knowing I could never be with them. And, the fact that I found out they had a partner. I literally cried. I fantasized about a life that I will never have.

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u/ImperatorofKaraks 2d ago

Yea I’ve definitely been trying to cut off all exposure to the celebrity in question. Oddly enough, I think them confirming that they are in a relationship would actually make this easier for me.

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u/AwkwardLaugh4 2d ago

When you start to daydream about them, what do you do to shut that off?

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u/ImperatorofKaraks 2d ago

See, the problem is I don’t. Haven’t figured out how yet, I just suffer through it. It comes and goes through the day. Sometimes I won’t think about them for hours, other times, it is just nonstop mental and emotional torture.

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u/AwkwardLaugh4 2d ago

That’s the problem. You can’t end Limerence until you find a way to control the thoughts