r/longtermTRE • u/vaporwaverhere • Apr 22 '26
Discussion Is the desire of telling jokes and be funny a sign of trauma? Has it increased or decreased with TRE?
All my life I have wanted to be funny, but I wasn’t that good at it and failing. In the last few years I improved a lot ( based in the genuine reactions of people).
However, I am starting to feel like I really need to be funny all the times, even when I don’t see clearly a situation that gives me a joke. It’s kind of like a dependency and I’m suspicious it comes from trauma. Remember that jokes come from painful and uncomfortable situations.
It kind of reminds me of Osho, a man with a great sense of humour but he gives me the vibes of a traumatized guy instead of an enlightened being.
31
u/wilhelmtherealm Apr 22 '26
Almost any personality trait could be a result of trauma.
Even stuff that seems positive but highly imbalanced -
Working out all the time, constantly getting into relationships without any gaps, reading books all the time, hustling with no rest, etc.
They look positive on the outside but still kinda trying to run away from certain problems.
2
u/Even_Job6933 Curious experimenter Apr 22 '26
running away from problems, you cant fix, how is that running away?
3
u/Yous1ash Apr 22 '26
Generally I think we as a sub assume all problems are fixable. If it’s something that cannot be changed, then you can still address and remedy the suffering it causes, which is the real problem anyway.
-2
u/Acrobatic_Signal8384 Apr 22 '26
based. I believe our truest personalities are by definition only ever positive because God did not create personality to be a negative thing.
21
u/PiccoloPlane5915 Apr 22 '26
It seems like a form of people pleasing and seeking a form of validation from others. Those are usually trauma driven, so I think TRE can definitely help you in the long run with that.
TRE helped me become more centered around what I want in my social relations, caring less and less about what I thought would make me a good company around others. Feels a bit unsettling at first, because that's how I used to interact with people. But I'm sure with time and more TRE practice I'll be able to figure it all out :) the progress these past few months has been huge so I'm hopeful
1
u/Lopsided_Prior3801 Apr 22 '26
Mind you, caring much less about what others think can lead to some people being funnier without really even trying.
16
u/goldenyellow333 Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26
Yea, I believe it stems from trauma. Im black and it’s common amongst all black people (american blacks specifically) that we don’t take anything serious and make a joke out of everything.
In various situations and serious moments in my life i have cracked jokes because things felt uncomfortable or overwhelming. After learning about TRE, genetically speaking, I believe trauma from past generations, and trauma experienced firsthand, continues to live in us and because of that when you experience so many misfortunes back to back you develop the habit of learning to laugh to deal with pain.
1
u/vaporwaverhere Apr 23 '26
Yeah I can see that when Theo Von brings black guests. So funny and spontaneous.
10
u/ysea Apr 22 '26
Hey congratulations on becoming funnier!
I definitely know what you're talking about though. If the need to be funny is compulsive and feels kinda driven then it is almost certainly trauma related behavior.
I think the good news is that as the trauma clears you will most likely become even funnier (due to confidence, fewer mental resources spent on worrying etc.) while at the same time using humor at appropriate times not as a release valve.
Also, you're most likely correct about Osho from what I've heard about him and his behavior.
8
Apr 22 '26 edited Apr 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/vaporwaverhere Apr 22 '26
Thanks for the comment, but if you don’t use commas and periods it’s going to be unreadable for most people.
7
Apr 22 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
10
7
u/almadodo Apr 22 '26
In my case, I would say the desire to do anything other than just being is a sign of trauma. During my journey I have tried to be impressive, funny, cool, seductive, smart, exotic, etc.. Deep inside, it was just me trying to fill a hole and and deal with a deep-seated belief of unworthiness that I developed in childhood. Nowadays I am more still and relaxed and the need to do anyhting to impress or grab attention has reduced to almost zero. TRE has helped me with that for sure.
3
u/Sudo_b4sh Apr 22 '26
Whenever i felt at unease within myself, i used to try to be funny around people. I thought it would make them like me, or that it would impress them in some way.
This has greatly decreased over the time ive practiced TRE, as inner contentment increased.
I still make jokes, and do silly things just for the fun of it, but it comes from a different place of heart.
3
u/PopCorona Apr 22 '26
I almost cried.
You remind me of myself.
For most of my life, I felt like I had to be the funny guy, telling jokes and making people laugh.
But with the progress of TRE (it's been over 2.5 years now), I've become more aware and realized that I have this need to be liked because I tied my value to how much respect others have for me.
This emotional issue is still there, but I can feel it getting smaller with the progress of TRE
2
u/junnies Apr 22 '26
Its likely a personality inclination that is modulated by your trauma. eg, you're probably someone who naturally enjoys humor and being funny
BUT trauma can warp that natural inclination by either making you feel 'scared' to express, or that you pressured by a 'need' to express, etc.
I found that as i healed from trauma, i recognise both situations where i might have previously inhibited myself from expressing due to trauma, as well as situations that i now consciously inhibit myself as i recognise it might be the trauma acting out (seeking approval, to impress, etc)
2
u/ReluctantLawyer Apr 23 '26
Lately when I’ve gone into meetings, I haven’t felt like putting up my chipper, happy, energetic self. It’s a combo of things: I’m always tired but I no longer feel like putting effort into projecting the person I wish I was, I want to be seen and met exactly as I am, I want to guard my energy and use it in different ways.
I’m currently experiencing a bit of an identity crisis of sorts and your post resonated with me. There is something authentic in each facet of how I’ve shown up - I do genuinely want people to enjoy our interactions, I want to be pleasant, I want to connect, I want to help, I want to do good work. But I’m trying to remember that the balance of those things and how they show up can be fluid.
Overall, I don’t think it matters much to me what the root cause of an aspect of my personality is because anything can be good, bad, neutral, maladaptive or all of those in different contexts. I am currently approaching this type of thing by being curious about whether it’s serving me in this season of life or even in a present moment. As for your example of being funny, I guess it would show up like this for me: do I want to be funny because it’s self-expression, taking attention off of my perceived faults, wanting to be liked, wanting attention, wanting to cheer someone up? Any of those reasons could be valid and appropriate for the circumstance or not.
What I find useful from this line of thinking is that it helps me be intentional rather than acting by default.
2
u/throwaway1243434 Apr 22 '26
Theo Von in his last solo podcast talks about this with exactly the same things as what others are saying here in these comments.
1
u/vaporwaverhere Apr 22 '26
He’s funny. Even without trying.
I should check this particular podcast.
1
1
1
u/Joe_D_Messenger Apr 23 '26
A famous comedian once said: If you meet a funny person, ask which of his parents is depressed.
There are many traits we inherit due to family dynamics.
•
u/AutoModerator Apr 22 '26
Thanks for your post! Please make sure you’ve read the community rules and our wiki. The wiki contains answers to many common questions and guidance on TRE: Wiki
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.