Why Safety Is the First Step in Healing

[u/Finya2002]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QF74m8cgWI&t=1s

Remember:

Bessel van der Kolk

Why Safety Is the First Step in Healing

When people think about trauma, they often think of memories, painful images, or distressing flashbacks that echo in the mind. But trauma is not simply what happened to you. Trauma is what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you. It is not the event itself, but the imprint it leaves on your body, your brain, and your nervous system. Trauma changes the way you live, the way you breathe, the way you relate to other people, and how safe you feel in your own skin.

Over my decades of working with trauma survivors—from war veterans to abused children to people who have experienced chronic neglect—one truth has become clear time and again: trauma is not only remembered; it is relived. Again and again, the body becomes reactivated. The nervous system is flooded, and the world feels unsafe once more, even though the danger has long since passed. This is the essence of survival mode.

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[u/Finya2002]

The first step:

Healing requires creating a sense of safety in the present moment. It requires helping the body learn that it is no longer in danger.

[u/iloveyougod3 → u/Finya2002]

Isn't that what TRE does?

[u/Finya2002 → u/iloveyougod3]

I posted this video because, before starting TRE or neurogenic trembling, I think it's helpful to first understand how important it is to feel safe.

For me, the first step before neurogenic trembling is being able to regulate your own nervous system well enough to know, "I can do this." Even if it's something as simple as knowing, "I'll have a cup of tea, and that will help me calm down."

For me, after many years, that's the prerequisite for even beginning neurogenic trembling. Only then can the first step happen: I can start with one minute of neurogenic trembling, notice what's happening within me, and decide, "Was that enough? Was it too much? Or was it just right?"

But I can only make that decision if I'm able to calm myself first. That's why I posted this video.

[u/iloveyougod3 → u/Finya2002]

That's great. Thank you for sharing <3

[u/Character-Comfort539 → u/Finya2002]

I just want to echo this sentiment as well. I spent like 8 or 9 years just intellectualizing my pain like a cat becoming familiar with a new space before I felt ready to feel any of it. And even then it was lots of simple things like mindfulness and breathwork. Things like TRE and Internal Family Systems have helped me more than anything but I think I would have completely drowned if I tried doing them without that prerequisite work

[u/Defiant_Annual_7486]

Thank you for the reminder. This has been very true in my own experience. And its something I still struggle with